


Love and Pills - Gorillaz Fanfic

by Gothippy



Category: Gorillaz
Genre: 2nu, Angst, Comfort/Angst, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, F/M, Falling In Love, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, Love, Phase Four (Gorillaz), Phase One (Gorillaz), Phase Three (Gorillaz), Phase Two (Gorillaz), Romantic Friendship, Slice of Life, Slow Burn, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Toodle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-13
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-02-19 00:14:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 19
Words: 129,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22702096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gothippy/pseuds/Gothippy
Summary: This starts off as slices of life and laughs which leads into a lot of sadness and drama. Noodle going through Hell. 2D dealing with his drug addiction. Through it all they cling onto each other to weather the storms.Phase 3 (Chapter 9) onward is 2nu, or as I prefer, Toodle.
Relationships: Noodle & Stuart "2D" Pot, Noodle/Stuart "2D" Pot
Comments: 71
Kudos: 66





	1. Tunnel of Love

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own anything. Just deeply love the Gorillaz. If you like it, or hate it, please, please, please give me a comment! I can handle criticism! Promise ;)

Stuart Pot first fell in love with pills when he was eleven. He had been climbing a great oak of a tree pretending to be a sniper on the lookout for zombies. Grasping the branch below him, Stuart tensed his leg muscles and sprang toward the next bough up. The quick movement spooked a sparrow, and with one distracted glance at the little bird flapping away spastically, Stuart’s hand missed its target. One slip, and time slowed as he desperately tried to grab onto something to stop his fall. He pawed at the air pitifully as he fell down onto his grassy backyard. 

As his head collided with the ground, he could feel it shatter into a million twinkling shards of glass. He lay there for ages, watching the show behind his eyes in helpless agony as his head exploded with unimaginable pain. 

After an interminable few minutes Stuart's mum, Rachel, came home from her job at the hospital in her penguin-patterned nurse’s scrubs. It had been a long and tiring shift, and all she wanted to do was have dinner and go to bed before tomorrow’s repeat performance. As she walked up the gravel path, shoulders hunched, she saw her little gangly boy on the ground crying. 

Rachel’s husband David was out all night working at his filthy fun-fair, and would be of no help. She didn’t want to deal with this; she felt bad for the poor little snipe, but she just needed a quiet night to herself, maybe with some sherry and a smut novel, preferably with some buff man's oily abs on the cover and his face only visible from the cheekbones down. So, grabbing her son’s hand and helping him stand, Rachel led him into the house. 

She was always getting leftover pills in her pockets from the patients that refused to take them for one reason or another. She pulled a technicolor assortment of pills and capsules out of her shoulder bag, pushing aside the blood pressure pills, antipsychotics, stool softeners and hardeners, uppers, downers, lithium, screamers and laughers. Eventually finding one she was pretty sure was a pain pill, she handed it to Stuart with some water.

Stuart blinked away the waterworks and looked up with sparkling blue eyes, which were beautiful, just like his father's. “Wot’s…SSNNNRRRFFFTHFFTTT... wot’s this, mum?” he asked in a wavering voice.

“Just somethin’ for the hurty-wurty, luv. Make ya feel right as rain!” Rachel smiled, giving him a pat on the head and going off to read a fantasy story about a man who never lied and would do the dishes after sex.

Stuart forced himself to swallow the pill through the tears and the bashing cymbals and the banging kettle drums in his brain. 

Fifteen minutes later he experienced bliss for the first time in his life. He was pure nothingness; not good, not bad, not in pain… Just nothing, and that was beautiful. He was in love.

***   
  


After the incident with the tree, Stuart went through some changes. The most obvious was all his brown hair fell out and started to grow back in a deep, dark-blue. While this transformation was taking place, he also found that he started getting random brain splitting headaches that would make him throw up and stay in bed all day.

This would have been terrible for a young man such as himself, but his mother was happy to supply a few pills, here or there, to deal with the migraines. The pills were always a joy, so everything worked out in the end.

Eventually he came to fear the times he  _ didn't _ have a migraine more than the times he did. No migraine ment no pills and those were dark times for little Stewie, but he found out that if something else happened, and he whined enough, he could still get a pill. Maybe he fell down and skinned his knee. Maybe he accidentally cut himself with a knife. Maybe it wasn’t so much of an accident. Whatever the reason, if his mom was tired enough and he was in enough pain, he could get a pill and then have empty-- blissful-- nothingness. 

Life went on and as he got into his teen years, he was often scared and depressed. People made fun of his blue hair, his perpetually underweight body, and his tall and scrawny bones. Due to his liberal use of medicine, he was considered one of the duller students. Acquiring his first (older and more experienced) girlfriend also didn’t help with his depression.

As Stuart prepared for his first date he was nervous, so he took his favorite, a Dilaudid, to cool down his nerves as he pulled up to her house. The feeling, or lack thereof, he calculated would hit just about the time he made it up the gravel walking path to her big, old, fancy, wooden, front door. As he walked through the lonely dark, anticipating the nothing-feeling, a word for what his pills did to him occurred, suddenly out of the blue. The pills gave him the

_ Void _

Stuart and his date went on an enchanting evening that started with a horror movie, which had the obligatory grasp your partner in fear scenes, followed up by some fast-food. They then went down to a quiet parking lot and had a hot-and-heavy 16 year-old make-out session. Eventually the girl decided to get things really going and open up Stuart’s trousers, finding a very limp member of the team. 

She gave it a good go with her hands, and eventually her mouth, but  _ nothing _ happened. She huffed loudly and gave up, refusing to look at Stuart and asking him to drive her home. Stuart obliged, wishing he could die the whole way, as the pills conveniently decided to wear off as soon as he had zipped back up. The next day everyone at school whispered “limp dick” behind his back. 

The pills got him into this, and they could get him out. He didn’t even need to come complaining to his mum with some concocted story about bees or whotnot; he knew where his mom kept her assortment of unused medications, and he would take them on an as-needed basis. 

_ As needed-- of course-- thank you Dr. Void _

When the pill stopped working and the pain crept back in, he took more pills. He tried not to over-do it, so his parents wouldn’t notice him being too far gone. Just enough to take the edge off. Make life a bit more manageable. He could even go without them for a day or two if things were going really good, after all he wasn’t  _ addicted _ . 

Stuart also found that the pills fetched a pretty penny with the lads at school. Whatever he didn’t use, he would often pawn off to other kids in return for some cigs. School was a bore and since he couldn’t be totally spaced out for it, he would smoke a cigarette before school. Then he would have another cigarette while hiding under the slide at recess because school was stupid. And why not another when he was home and waiting for his pills to kick in?

When Stuart was 19, he had moved on from being a stick figure boy with blue hair to an even taller stick figure  _ man _ with blue hair, large, dark blue eyes that were in a face that just could not grow any convincing facial hair. Things were much the same for him, he still had his headaches he still had his pain pills but he was slowly figuring his life out and one of the most important parts of that life was that he liked music.

***

He was at his job at the Organ Emporium working on dusting some of the shoddy pianos that no one ever bothered to play when he heard the bell on the front door jingle open. It was a quiet Monday, so he knew it could only be one person. He quickly rushed with his towering legs to the front of the store grinning cheekily.

Paula Cracker was a slim, black-haired, brown-eyed, young woman, with a beauty mark above her lip. Stuart had met her several months ago when she had flirted with him as he let her play all the guitars for hours in the store and ignored every other customer until they left in a huff without buying anything. 

Today Paula walked in wearing toeless high heels, tight black jeans and a tight black sleeveless shirt. When she saw Stuart she simpered and bit her whore-red lipsticked lip. “Hey there Stu!"

Stuart rushed up and wrapped his lanky arms around her. “Awww luv! Yewr ‘ere! I fought yew forgot 'bout me!” 

Paula stood on her tippy toes, as he bent his head down, to kiss his lips. “I couldn’t forget about my blue boy! I just had a bunch of work to do with my courses.”

Stu was clutching her needily and rocking her back and forth as if he hadn’t seen her in years instead of a few days as he muttered into her hair, “Courses are stupid…”

Paula pulled away to look at him, “Now that’s just sour grapes! You should go take some courses too, at least part time!”

Stuart grumbled and put his hands in his pockets hunching over, “I don’t want ta… I ‘ad enough of school.”

Paula shook her head at him and walked farther in the store looking for a guitar to play. She picked the most expensive one, which was sparkly and red, then turned to face her blue beanpole, “I bet you’d like it if tried. It’s not like grade school and you meet so many cool people!”

Stuart was scuffing the rug with his shoe and moping. “Yew’re meeting cool people?”

Paula started tuning the guitar. “Yeah, lots of cool people! In fact me and a few friends are considering putting together a band…”

This grabbed Stuart's attention as he blinked and looked at her with his big blue eyes, “Oh yeah?”

Paula nodded as she experimentally plucked a few strings, “Ummhumm.”

Stuart scratched the back of his neck, “Yew wouldn’t ‘appen ta need a pianist or a singer, would ya?”

Paula sighed looking towards Stuart apologetically and shook her head, “No, I’m sorry but Allen already does piano and Sally is a lead singer… But if that changes I’ll be sure to mention you!”

Stuart wandered over to a dusty upright piano and plonking out some notes. “Sometimes it’s nice ta ‘ave two voices tagefer.” 

Paula followed him and leaned against the piano, “Well, we’re just considering making this band, plus every other musician can sing back up… Anyway, I’ve never even heard you sing! If it’s anything like your talking voice that must be terrible!” She laughed and nudged him with her elbow good naturedly and Stuart pouted. Stuart started playing out a song he had been hearing lately and decided to show off his pipes with Paula strumming along. 

His voice was gentle and soft. It flowed easily from his lips as he closed his eyes to focus on the notes.

Beetlebum

What you've done

She's a gun

Now what you've done

Beetlebum

Get nothing done

You beetlebum

Just get numb

Now what you've done

Beetlebum

And when she lets me slip away

She turns me on

All my violence is gone

Nothing is wrong

I just slip away and I am gone

Nothing is wrong

She turns me on

I just slip away and now I am gone

Beetlebum

Because you're young

She's a gun

Now what you've done

Beetlebum

She'll suck your thumb

She'll make you come

'Cause, she's your gun

Now what you've done

Beetlebum

And when she lets me slip away

She turns me on

All my violence is gone

Nothing is wrong

I just slip away and I am gone

There's nothing wrong

She turns me on

I just slip away and now I am gone

When he finished and let the music fade away he looked towards Paula, beaming proudly, “See? I can sing!”

Paula was pleasantly surprised and found that Stuart suddenly seemed more attractive now that she knew he had such a beautiful voice. “That wasn’t half bad! Sounded just like the singer of that band… Damn what band is that? Slur or Sludge or Smudge, or… Besmirch or somefing. Singer in that band is really 'ansome." Paula looked Stuart over appraisingly. "Wish yew looked like 'im as well as sounded like 'im!" 

Stuart looked at her, feeling hurt and pouting before looking down at his fingers that he was twiddling nervously. 2D usually didn't give much thought to his looks but since he met Paula she would often make disparaging comments about him not being as attractive as someone else and it was starting to get to him. She would always laugh at his downcast face and say she was joking but 2D saw her looking at other blokes who weren't funny looking, blue haired, stick figures.

Paula leaned in closer to Stuart giving him her best doe eyed look. “Awww, Stu, I am sorry, but at least yew got nice blue eyes like that singer! So long as yew got those pretty peeper yew good enough for me!"

Stuart wanted to continue pouting but Paula was licking her lips and he really couldn't continue to be mad at her when she looked at him like that. He cracked a crooked grin at her flashing a set of very British teeth her way. "Maybe I can be good enough for year band…"

Like I said, I’ll tell my friends if we need a singer but for now isn’t there something else we could be doing?”

Stuart wasn’t the fastest ball on the court, “Wot?”

Paula put her guitar down and locked eyes with Stuart. “I’m here, you're here, and no one else is… What if we lock the front door and go in the back for a few?” She walked her fingers up his chest, feeling his sternum through the thin fabric of his shirt.

He grinned down at her, “But wot if someone ‘as an organ emergency?”

She giggled, “I guess they’ll die…” 

Stuart was glad he had held off on his Dilaudid today, just in case she came so he wouldn’t have Dilaudid dick. He laughed as he held her close to him as he went to the front door to lock it and then pulled her to the back room for a quick course in carnal knowledge.

***

Murdoc Niccals put his cuban heeled boots up on the old, wine red couch with it’s white doily cover and grinded his boots into the white cloth to leave a dirt stain as he smiled to himself. Then he lit a cigarette, with his yellowy green hands and straightened his plain long sleeve black shirt out over his tight black jeans, patted down his black oily hair, and made sure his upside down cross was centered on his chest. He liked to set a scene, make an image one might say.

Five minutes later he was getting bored and considering giving up but then he heard footsteps making their way up the stoop at the front door. A little shake of anticipation ran through him and he tried to put on his most calculated look of nonchalance as the door opened. 

A man who was the spitting image of Murdoc, but several decades older and with a very prominent long nose, in contrast to Murdoc’s badly broken one, came in. Murdoc locked his one dark eye and one blood red eye on the older man, Murdoc grinned, showing his sharp, yellow, teeth and growled, “Hello Dad!”

Murdoc’s father, Sebastian Jacob Niccals gave a little jump of surprise before taking in his son and was not happy with what he saw, “What the bloody hell are you doing here!? I told you, you aren’t welcome in my home!”

Murdoc stretched out his arms and rested them languidly on the couch. “I thought you would be happy to see your son!”

Sebastian slammed the front door closed behind him, “I was unhappy the first day I saw you in a box on my doorstep.” He huffed angrily as he stormed towards the living room. “I thought for sure when your mother was pregnant with you and got put in that insane asylum they would abort you! Would have saved a lot of trouble, that would…” Sebastian sighed, “Why are you here?”

Murdoc kept up the happy facade, “Well the band I’ve been working with,  _ The Burning Sensations _ , they weren’t really in line with my artistic vision, y’know? So I decided that we had to part ways…”

Sebastian spat at him, “You're never going to become a damned rockstar! Give up! You're 31 years old and you have nothing to show for it!”

Murdoc sat forward, “I’m only following your lead dear old Dad! You were a right jagoff when you were my age! Oh, oh, no, wait I’m not following your lead! I don’t have any kids! Escaped that one didn’t I? Uuuuhhh uuuhhh ahhh!!!” Murdoc cackled and slapped his knee grinning toothily at his father.

Sebastian tapped his foot. “I’m sure you have spawn, you wanker. You just don’t have a home address so none of your conquests can find you for payment!”

Murdoc tilted his head in consideration, that sounded very likely. “Well then I learned from your mistakes! Took Hannibal AND me before you started switching up your name with the birds!”

Sebastian was leaning over Murdoc sending spitting onto the younger man as he talked, “At least your brother Hannibal is a businessman making some good cash! More than you’ll ever be! And he remembers where he came from, I get good money from him!” 

Murdoc laughed, “Til the narcs catch him and put an end to that! Look I am going to be a  _ star! _ That's fame, money, glory and wimmin without worrying about being locked up all the time, y’know?”

Sebastian sighed, “Did you come here for something in particular or did you just want to parade your lackluster life in front of me?”

Murdoc grinned and sitting up straighter he launched into his sales pitch, “I have come here to tell you I have recently made a new connection with a very important person downstairs who is also veeerrrrry fond of my music! Nhuh…”

Sebastian looked skywards "So you have a new band already?"

"Noooo, no, I just made a deal to ensure my next band is the most amazing band ever known to mankind! Now I just have to asssss-emble it…" Murdoc stretched his arms wide, shaking his hands with pizzazz.

Sebastian was not impressed, "So you are, yet again, bandless, but about to have the best band ever? Forgive me for not being excited."

Murdoc growled and grabbed his rubber, upside down cross necklace up to show his father. “I’ve become a Satanist and because I have so much obvious talent the big man himself met up with me and offered me that little push over the edge to become a world famous rock star!”

Sebastian scowled at his son. “And what does the Dark Lord get for granting you this honor?”

Murdoc shrugged, “The normal. My janky soul for me becoming world famous. He’s really not that creative with his deals is he?”

Murdoc's father was becoming tired of this conversation, “I will wait with baited breath for this stunning transformation… And if you do become world famous then at least I will stop having you in my life. So, what does this have to do with me?"

Murdoc kept his smile plastered on his face ignoring the verbal jabs, “Well since I am rocketing towards stardom I thought you might want to have the honor of saying you helped me along the way, y’know?”

The older Niccals’s face was sour as he spoke, “I helped you by not throwing you in the garbage the first day I saw you!”

Murdoc looked into his father's eyes. “I’m not asking for much! Maybe I could crash here for a few days…”

Sebastian's voice rose, “I told you, I don’t want you on my property!”

Murdoc giggled to himself as he stood up, “Well jokes on you Dad! I’ve been sleeping in the dog house for the past week, so there!”

Sebastian shook his head, “The dog house has an infestation of cellar spiders you foolish bastard!”

Murdoc unconsciously rubbed at his arm, he had been wondering why it was so sore and itchy. He tried again, “I will be the most famous musician ever and you don’t want to help me just a tiny, little bit!?”

“Not in the slightest, you tosser!” Sebastian was pointing an angry, gout ridden finger at his son.

Murdoc took a good long gander at his father. This soused bastered had beaten the ever living snot out of him, more or less, everyday of his childhood. Murdoc used to feel scared shitless as he would try and hide when he heard his father coming down the hall bashing into things with his cane, in an inebriated state as Sebastian tried to find little Murdoc so he could transfer his own self loathing and anger on to the young boy. 

No matter where Murdoc tried to hide his father would always find him. He had so many memories of trying to hide under furniture or in closets only to have his father’s large, strong hands grab his tiny wrists or ankles and and pull him out, kicking and screaming his little lungs out. Sebastian would hit Murdoc over and over again until Murdoc was numb with pain and fear as he looked into his father’s blank eyes. 

All that fear and hatred that used to seem to radiate off his father now seemed to have changed into being old and worn down, it almost made Murdoc want to laugh to think the bloke ever scared him. Murdoc rubbed his nose and sniffed, “Thanks Dad, I really needed this conversation. Really straightened out some things for me.”

Sebastian yelled, shaking his cane at Murdoc, "Get out and stay out you ungrateful piece of trash!"

Murdoc walked past his father giving him a heavy shove with his shoulder as he sauntered out of the house. Murdoc would show him, and if his father wouldn’t give him help willingly he would take it. Murdoc grinned to himself as he jingled the keys he had swiped off his old man and he went straight to the Vauxhall Astra parked at the curb. New bands needed money and instruments and he knew just what to do to get them.

***

It was a grey, moist and cold day, as was the norm here in Jolly Ol’ England. Stuart was minding his own business at work when a Vauxhall Astra suddenly came crashing into his head.

_ Tha’ is, after it made its way over the curb and frough the window, a’ course, but I didn’t notice those parts happenin’, jus’ the bit wiv’' me ‘ead _

This second head trauma in Stuart’s life caused an eight-ball fracture in his left eye socket; blood pooled in his eye, changing one eye from its original pretty blue to jet-black.

He was also jogged into a ‘catatonic state,’ a sort of waking coma. It was as if the  _ Void _ had swallowed him whole, and he wasn’t even around to enjoy it. It was just dark emptiness without the bliss.

Murdoc had been trying to do a crash and grab by going through the window so he could steal the fab new synths in the shop, but he was caught a mile down the road when he pulled over and tried to flirt with a cop, and he was sentenced to 1250 days of community service. This primarily consisted of looking after the brain blocked Stuart 10 hours a week. 

This arrangement worked out okay for Murdoc. Stuart, being catatonic, didn’t argue with anything; and having a gangly invalid with you really did wonders for getting sympathy from the ladies. Murdoc would push Stuart around in a wheelchair, explain to pretty girls how he was kindly looking after the brain dead man from the kindness of his heart and offer to let them pet Stuart's head, like a puppy. 

_ He would sorta just flop around if you weren’t paying attention, but you could prop him up with the seat belt, like one a’ them crash-test dolls on car commercials, nhuh huh. _

Women just could not resist such a giving man as Murdoc and were all too happy to show him how much they appreciated such a paragon of selflessness.

A year later, while showing off to some ladies in his Tesco car --  _ fab little blue piece of shite, real milf-mobile, nh-huh _ \-- Murdoc did a 360° and sent a unseat belted Stuart shooting through the windscreen, sliding on the cement for half a klick, and thereafter hitting his little brain-bucket on the curb. Of course, this convinced his other eye to have an eight-ball fracture.

_ Stunning, I mean just STUNNING, the symmetry at this point, mhuh-uh. _

This apparent Miracle Down Below knocked Stuart out of his coma, and Murdoc muttered to himself, star struck; “Satan works in mysterious ways! He is a blue-haired, black-eyed God!” 

As Stuart slowly regained consciousness and stood up shakily for the first time in a year with his atrophied muscles wobbling as Murdoc ran over to him saying, “You! You have to be in my new band! I made a deal with Satan and we will be world famous!"

Stuart groaned cradling his pounding head that was currently bleeding, along with multiple parts of his body from road burn. He didn’t process what Murdoc had said and instead asked in a small whimpering voice about the only thing he ever really cared about, “Aaaauuuugggg... I 'urt! Do yew 'ave any pain pills?"

Murdoc was stunned by his luck, this guy was an opiate addict! Could this get any better!? This young bloke was playing right into Murdoc's hands. “Yes, yes I do 2D.

Stuart looked at the stranger in front of him for the first time and noticed everything was very dark, like he had on several sunglasses. He pawed at his eyes trying to remove whatever it was that was darkening his vision. “Wot did yew call me? Me names Stu...”

Murdoc laughed at him scrabbling at his dark holes. “2D-2 Dents. You’ve got two dark holes in your head where your eyes used to be mate! Very striking I must say!”

2D looked at Murdoc, “I can’t see very well…” He started wobbling as his muscles were giving up the ghost.

Murdoc grinned quickly put an arm around 2D to helped support the fragile thing and dragged 2D back to the car. “Aww don’t worry about that! I’ll get you some pills and then everything else will go away. Just let Uncle Mudzy take care of it, nhuhhhuuuu…”

2D let himself be dragged along as he tried to massage his head and figure out what the hell happened since the last thing he remembered was a red car flying towards his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song 2D sings is Beetlebum from Blur


	2. Ring Toss

  
  
  


The hits to the head, the road burn and the fractured eyes all hurt a lot for 2D but he was supplied with ample medication from Murdoc. Days went by and 2D started to heal from being road jelly while staying mostly in a tablet induced stupor. 

On days when he did get out of the  _ Void  _ enough to notice his surroundings he saw he was in an old trailer home that Murdoc kept referring to as his Winnybago, that had a multitude of pine tree air fresheners on the ceiling, a bunch of patchouli incense, some upside down crosses and skulls of various humans and animals. 

The first time 2D stumbled into the tiny, dirty, bathroom and saw his reflection in the mirror he stared at himself for a bit, not quite putting together the man in the mirror was him. The reflection looked like someone had squeezed all the life out of Stuart Pot. 

He was gaunt with sunken cheeks and his skin, where it wasn't scabbed over from the road burn, was sallow, but most frightening of all were his two black eyes in their bruised sockets. Stuart's pretty blue eyes were gone forever and on top of that he was left with dark and dreary vision. He stroked one of his eye sockets as a tear came down his cheek.  _ Wot 'happened ta me? Wot am I doing 'ere? _

His brow knotted as he looked at himself sadly and he felt the dull throb of a migraine coming on.

"Crying at yourself in the mirror doesn't fit your image, mate. You have to be suave, collected, distant… Yeah? That would much better fit with the holes in your 'ead, nhuh!"

2D squinted at the green man as he put a hand to his head to rub at his headache. "I don't care about me image, I just feel sad! I 'urt all over, me eyesight is facked, and that man in mirror… 'e doesn't look like me!"

Murdoc sighed and leaned against the bathroom door frame. "Well he is you. The new and improved you! Get used to him, you'll be with him for the rest of your life. Hehe..."

2D shook his head and backed away from Murdoc until he hit the toilet with the back of his legs and did a stumbling fall onto the seat. "I don't know yew! I don't know why yew took me 'ere! Shouldn't I be in a 'ospital or sumfing!?"

Murdoc chuckled at 2D and his rising fear and anxiety, while Murdoc wasn't even doing anything! Well maybe Murdoc was sneering a bit and he was working his chuckle to be as menacing as possible, but this sickly boy was already frightened of him, and something about seeing this tall, scary looking bloke cower made Murdoc feel powerful. 

"You've been unconscious for a year mate. I have been lookin’ after you the whole time. Outta, the goodness of my heart, yeah? So trust me, I got what you need. Nhuh!" Murdoc grinned and pulled out a couple white tablets from his back pocket and held them out to 2D.

2D couldn't argue with free and easy pills. He quickly snatched them from Murdoc's hand and stuffed them in his face, swallowing them dry with a loud gulp. Then he looked at Murdoc's unsettling eyes. "But why do yew want me?"

Murdoc grinned showing off his sharp teeth. "Because you're the most facked up and striking person I've ever seen!!!" Murdoc then muttered under his breath. "Plus with a pill addiction you're easy to control…"

2D blinked uncomprehendingly, "Wot?"

"Nothing, nevermind! See, I am making a  _ BAND!  _ The likes of which have never been seen!" Murdoc waved his hands around with pizzazz.

All previous thoughts were gone from 2D's battered head and his eyes grew large as he continued sitting on the toilet seat. "A  _ band!!!" _

Murdoc grinned, walked forward and slung an arm around 2D's shoulder, ignoring 2D wincing as he squeezed a wide area of the younger man's road burn. Things just kept getting better and better for Murdoc. He had 2D hooked on more than just pills. "Yes!!! And I want you to be in the band!"

2D excitedly exclaimed, "I am good wif the piano!" Then he bit his lip cautiously, not daring to hope. "I can also sing…."

Murdoc rolled his eyes. "Yes, yes. Everyone and their mother can sing. I am sure with a voice like yours you sound like..."

2D cut Murdoc off with his ephemeral voice.

_ This is the next century _

_ Where the universal's free _

_ You can find it anywhere _

_ Yes the future's been sold _

_ Every night we're gone _

_ And to Karaoke songs _

_ How we like to sing along _

_ Though the words are wrong _

_ It really really really could happen _

_ Yes it really really really could happen _

_ When the days they seem to fall through you _

_ Well just let them go _

_ No one here is alone _

_ Satellites in every home _

_ Yes the universal's here _

_ Here for everyone _

_ Every paper that you read _

_ Says tomorrow's your lucky day _

_ Well here's your lucky day _

_ It really really really could happen _

_ Yes it really really really could happen _

_ When the days they seem to fall through you _

_ Just let them go _

_ Well it really really really could happen _

_ Yes it really really really could happen _

_ When the days they seem to fall through you _

_ Just let them go _

_ Just let them go _

_ Just let them go _

Murdoc gulped. "Well, okay then… You're our singer…"

2D grinned ear to ear, showing a toothy smile, "Awww, this is brilliant!!! We can call the band sumfing like, oh, um…  _ Smashing Dead _ …. Yeah! Or  _ Here's Johnny! _ Oh, oh! Or  _ Zombie Apocalypse _ !!!"

Murdoc shook his head at the young man's happiness and excitement, it grated on his nerves. Murdoc smacked the younger man on the back of the head. "Shut up Faceache!"

2D stopped suddenly, eyes wide in shock and let out a small whimper. Murdoc smiled, he had again asserted dominance and showed who was the top dog. "Now you're the singer but this is  _ my _ band. Don't you forget that, yeah? Right, now the name needs to be something simple and easy to remember that will appeal to the masses but still have a deeper meaning…"

2D was looking down at his lap, twiddling his thumbs. "Animal names are simple… maybe  _ Puppies _ ?

Murdoc slapped 2D on the head again, harder this time. "The fack you finking! Facking,  _ Puppies _ … We don't want people to think about fluffy little shites! No, something more related to humans, like,  _ The Monkeys!" _

2D bit his lip and hesitantly said, "I fink that one’s been taken… Wot about Gorillas?" 2D cowered waiting to be hit again.

Murdoc bit his lip with one sharp fang then grinned menacingly. “I’ve got it!  _ GorillaZ!!!  _ That's edgy! Yeah! The kids will love it!!!”

2D grinned eyes crinkling up at the sides in pure happiness, “Yew like my idea!”

“No I facking didn’t! It’s  _ MY _ idea! GorillAZZZZZZZ! My idea! Not yours! You facking wanker.”

2D looked down at his hands in his lap, crestfallen. “Oh, I guess it  _ is _ your idea.”

Murdoc grinned, “That's right! Be thankful I let you be part of the band at all. Plus I let you live in my wonderous abode!” Murdoc made a grand sweeping gesture around his tiny trailer home.

****

A few days later Murdoc, sensing his beloved Winnybago wouldn’t do to house a full fledged band, started looking for a new digs and soon found - giganticdisusedhauntedstudiosinthemiddleofnowhere.com and quickly saw his dream home in Kong Studios. It was a modern fortress on a hill, with all the charm of an asylum. Built on a WW2 cemetery that was built on top of a mass grave for plague victims. Murdoc called in some favors and made some questionable dealings, all betting on his rise to fame in the near future, and soon moved himself and 2D moving into their new estate.

***

Murdoc was speeding and cutting off people with his decrepit Winnybago, as it wheezed out black smoke. 2D was on the passenger side, digging his fingers into the bottom of the seat as the vehicle swung from one lane to another. 2D didn't like driving with Murdoc, but figured it was safer in the vehicle than to be a pedestrian around the vehicle. 

Soon Murdoc was going through the wrought iron fence towards a long gravel road through a graveyard towards the blocky fortress on the hill. 2D looked out the window nose pressed on the glass, on the masses of stones with WWII casualties. Soon the Winny pulled into a badly lit underground parking lot and Murdoc cut the engine, pulled out the keys and pocketed them with a flourish as he growled under his breath and exited the Winny. "Let's go and see our new home, yeah?" 

As Murdoc and 2D stepped off the Winny they were greeted by a three foot high, naked, hairless, horned, boy-like creature with mottled black and brown skin and yellow slitted goats eyes, grinning at them deviously with small sharp teeth. Murdoc gave it a small nod, "So Bubs sent you to look after his investment, did he?"

The boy thing's grin stretched wider and a snake tongue came out and licked his teeth as he cackled. "Hehehe! I'm here to make sure you don't stray off the path of evil and sin!"

Murdoc crossed his arms and tapped his foot impatiently, "Yeah, yeah, that's great, just help us move our shite in, yeah?"

2D shook his head at Murdoc's rudeness and crouched down holding out a hand, "Ello, 'm St--2D. What's yewr name?" 

The demon boy quickly snaked out his many footed tongue and wrapped it around 2D's hand in a way of greeting and just as quickly slithered it back smacking his lips, savoring the taste. 2D tried to hide an involuntary shake of revultion as the boy spoke, "Cuthbert."

Murdoc's head swiveled around. "I specifically asked for at least five succubuses as part of the deal! Where the bloody hell are they!?"

The Cuthbert cocked his head at Murdoc, "You get what you get. I was just sent here via the Hell Hole. Go down there and complain at the big man yourself if you want. Course, I wouldn't… At least until you have gained some status... After all it has been over a year that you made your deal with Satan and you don't have much to show for it do you?"

Murdoc grabbed 2D by the shoulders and shook him in front of the Cuthbert, "I sold my soul and, through Satan's influence, all I got was this wanker! He wasn't even conscious for a year. Not that he's really conscious now… But still! I don't consider that a great deal!"

The boy struck a pose pointing towards a door at the opposite end of the parking lot that had a vibrant reddish yellow glow coming around its edges. "I don't know and I don't care. Take it up with someone who does."

Murdoc made an angry gutteral sound under his breath and then sighed exasperatedly. "Fine! Come help us get 2D's crap out of my Winny!" 

2D was looking around the dark empty parking lot trying to get his bearings. "Where are the stairs? I want ta find a room on the top level so I can get a good view!"

Murdoc looked emptily at 2D, "Your room is there." He pointed to a door that looked like it was a janitor's closet. "I never know when inspiration will strike and I have to have you within yelling distance at all times."

2D looked downcast, "But Muds---"

Murdoc parroted him bobbing his head side to side, "But Muds, I want me pills! But Muds, I'm in pain! But Muds, I'm tired! But Muds, I'm cold! But Muds, I don't want to drink the whole bottle of rum! But Muds, I want a goddamn Unicorn!" Murdoc slapped 2D's cheek hard leaving a red handprint on 2D's pale skin. "That is your room!"

2D, duly chastized, rubbed his face with a hand as he went into the Winny to grab some things.

***

2D spent his first night wandering around Kong Studio’s dark hallways trying to understand the layout of the dreary building. The place was a confusing network of hallways and doors, that all looked the same; dirty and lit by overly bright fluorescent lights. Eventually 2D found a dingy kitchen that was stocked with a collection of moldy food from some past era. Feeling his belly grumble hungrily 2D searched until he found a can of chickpeas, and a not too dirty spoon. As he cracked open the mettle top with it’s pull tab and took his first bite of the chickpeas he sighed. He had been surviving on cereal, old pizza and beer in the Winnebago and the dinner options here seemed worse, not to mention they were very far away from any grocery stores out here. 

After finishing his can of chickpeas 2D wandered through several rooms until he found a window. As he got up to it and wiped a thick layer of dirt and dust off the glass he looked out and saw a mass of moving bodies on the grounds below. He rubbed his eyes in disbelief, they weren’t alone here! There were other people! He leaned against the glass as much as he could. The people below seemed to be mostly men in army outfits… A lot of injured army men… The military uniforms didn’t seem current. Some of the soldiers were missing arms, others were crawling around on the ground… Actually none of them seemed okay… 

2D’s heart leapt in his chest. He was in a building that was surrounded by the undead!!! Maybe the Hell Hole excited them somehow. Well at least something good had come out of moving to Kong Studios! 

2D ran down stairs to the basement and flung open the door of the Winnebago to find Murdoc, his face puffy and eyes glassy, on the couch having a beer and watching Pink Floyd’s The Wall. Murdoc quickly sat up and whipped his eyes with his sleeve, he always got emotional watching The Wall, all that stuff about bad parental relationships really got to him. “ _ Sniff.  _ Faceache, what you doing barging in ‘ere!? Knock first, you dunce.”

2D, suddenly remembering who Murdoc was and that he would likely get punched for intruding, found himself hunching over, biting his lip and looking at the floor. “Sorry Muds! I forgot…”

Murdoc shook his head and sighed. “Of course you did… Facking brain damage… So what did you want?”

2D looked at Murdoc, all previous thoughts gone from his head. “I…. I… I forgot…”

“Did your mother drop you on your head? Don’t facking bother me just to forget what you wanted!” Murdoc shouted and threw his beer bottle at 2D. It missed its target and hit the wall. As it shattered 2D suddenly remembered what he wanted to say.

“The graveyard is full of the walking dead!” 

Murdoc sighed, “Yeah, I know. That's why this place was so cheap. Now don’t you dare start complaining about that…”

2D shook his head, “No! It’s brilliant! I’ve always wanted ta ‘ave a chance ta kill the undead!”

Murdoc did a double take, “Oh... That's good then…”

2D grinned, “I wanted ta ask for a gun so I can kill ‘em!”

Murdoc laughed, “No facken way 2Dents! This is England! Can’t just go to the supermarket and buy a gun now can I!? Anyway, you’d probably only shoot yourself in the head….”

“Oh…” 2D frowned. “Yew’re right… I probably would kill meself…”

Murdoc felt a twinge of sadness seeing 2D’s downcast face. Caring always unsettled Murdoc and he wanted to stop feeling that way as quickly as possible. He looked around his Winniebago trying to think of something to make the discomfort go away and his eyes fell on a closet door. Murdoc went over to it and pulled out a paint gun and handed it to 2D along with a bag of ammo. “I went on a team building exercise with my old band, the Burning Sensations. The bastards all ganged up on me, though. Obviously they didn’t deserve my genius. You can pretend to be a dangerous killer with this.”

2D’s face lit up like a kid at Christmas. “Fanks Muds!” He grasped the gun in his hands and hugged it to his chest. “I like ta pretend I’m a sharp shooter, saving the masses from the undead!”

Murdoc grunted and raised an eyebrow at 2D, he doubted 2D’s vision would allow him to hit anything but he kept his mouth shut for once and instead stretched his arms before heading towards his bedroom at the back of the Winnebago. “I ordered a pizza, you can have the leftovers. Nhuh...” He motioned over to a box on the coffee table. 

2D eagerly looked over to the box, excited at the prospect of pizza but found only 2 left over crusts in the box. He sighed sadly and grabbed them both before heading back upstairs with his paint gun.

***

2D, had great fun aiming at the undead and trying to splatter them from above with the paint gun. He was three stories above them, at an open window, and even though he was shooting at the dead, they didn’t change their behavior. They just continued bumbling around. 2D loved seeing their brain dead antics as they stumbled over gravestones, fell in open graves and sometimes they tried to eat each other.

2D was not very good at hitting his targets but he had great fun shooting anyway. He focused his attention on a soldier that had both his legs blown off and was crawling forward, very slowly, on his hands. 2D could not seem to shoot the man, the ground before and after the soldier was littered with yellow and blue paint but the soldier was only covered in dirt from clawing his way out of the ground. 

2D took a deep breath. He was down to his last cartridge. He could do this. He clicked the cartridge into the gun and aimed, trying to correct for the way the other shots had gone. Taking a deep inhale and holding his breath he put his eye to the sight, which between the dark and his bad vision didn’t help all that much, and he aimed for the corpse. He exhaled as he pulled the trigger. He hadn’t been holding the gun with enough force, being more focused on aim, and the butt of the gun shot back hitting him hard in the nose. “Ahhh! Fack!” 2D dropped the gun and rubbed at his nose which started bleeding. 2D harrumphed and looked out the window with a sad pout that spread into a wide grin. 

The soldier had a large yellow mark on him. He was still continuing his slow crawl away, seemingly unaware that he had been hit, but 2D did it! He finally shot something he had aimed at and it was a moving target! Sure it was only moving an inch a minute but still! Success! 

2D grinned and slumped back against the hallway wall. “Fank yew for yewr service and may yew rest in pieces!” 2D whispered under his breath before closing his eyes and falling into a drug induced sleep on the floor. 

***

Murdoc finally got it into his head that just because he made a deal with Satan didn't mean he was just going to become a star without putting in some elbow grease and actually decided to start to write a song. He was sitting in a large empty foyer type room, that had a few sparsely placed chairs, couch and a TV, that they decided was their living room. 

Murdoc had begun his process by sitting down to write, then realizing he needed some rum, so he went to the kitchen to get himself a glass and then went back to sit down in the livingroom and promptly downed the glass, so he had to up again, went to the kitchen and grab the whole bottle of rum which he brought back to the couch. By the time he sat down he realized he needed to take a piss so he got up and went to the bathroom. Once he came back and was back sitting on the couch again he realized he needed some snacks, so he got up and went to the kitchen to grab some stale snack mix. Back on the couch he realized it was too quiet so he put on the TV for background noise but he got distracted watching pro-wrestling. 

***

2D woke up the next morning, stiff and sore from sleeping on the floor, but over all happy. He had been able to be away from Murdoc and his controlling atmosphere for awhile and instead do what he wanted to do last night. 2D decided to keep that good mood going this morning by indulging in another one of his hobbies.

2D was always a fan of graffiti art and just because he couldn't see well didn't stop him from wanting to do visual art, plus he loved the fumes. He was currently tagging  _ Gorillaz _ on random walls, like a cat pissing to mark territory, and had made it into the living room and saw Murdoc rubbing the crotch of his pants while watching one large oil slicked man punch another oil slicked man in the groin while yelling. 2D shrugged to himself and went over to the wall behind Murdoc and started to tag  _ Gorillaz _ in large fat letters of blue and green. Murdoc jumped with a start and quickly changed the channel and looked around at 2D grunting, "Uh--ummm. Song research... Yeah..."

2D glanced at Murdoc and shrugged, giving him a friendly smile, before turning his focus back to painting the wall. "'M sure the songs are gonna be great Muds, but 'ow are we gonna have a band wif just bass and piano?"

Murdoc shot up from the couch, this was the perfect distraction he needed from writing a song! Obviously, he needed to get together some other band members before he did, the very easy job, that he was definitely not avoiding, of writing songs! "That is a brilliant question 2Dents! I shall go off on a grand journey and scour the Earth for a killer guitarist!"

2D shrugged as he shook a spray can. "My old girlfriend played wicked guitar..."

"If we get a girl they would need to have sex appeal and any girl that would jump your lowsy bunch of bones would have to be bottom of the barrel. No, I think I will travel to Vegas! Check out all of their dens of sin for a bird that can play the guitar."

2D crossed his arms and faced Murdoc with an angry pout, "Paula was 'ot and talented!" 2D grabbed his wallet from his back pocket and pulled out a very worn picture of Paula, posing artistically while nude and humping a Cherry red guitar that she had pulled off the shelf of the music shop for the photo. The guitar was soon sold and its new owner was never informed of the guitar's previous pornographic works.

Murdoc looked the photo over and nodded appreciatively before folding it up and putting it in his back pocket. 2D wasn't happy about losing his photo. "Wot yew fink yew're doing!? That's mine! I need it ta masterbate at!"

Murdoc chuckled, "If I'm going to find this bird, I need to know what she looks like, don't I?"

2D's eyes grew wide and he bobbed his head in excitement. "Yew're going ta ask 'er ta join the band!?"

Murdoc nodded with a sickening grin. "Yeah, ask. Nhuhhh."

***   
  


Paula woke up in a dark and dingy room on a hard bed. The last thing she remembered was having finished a show with her band at the pub and she was talking with this strangely attractive green tinged man and then everything went black… She looked around her surroundings and heard a voice squeak at her, “Paula!”

She focused on the voice and saw her old boyfriend, Stuart, but he looked terrible, his hair was unwashed and shaggy, he looked ghastly pale and gaunt with two dark bruised circles under two pure black pits where his eyes should have been. He was twiddling his fingers in front of himself anxiously staring at her as she shuffle up into a sitting position. He quickly leaned down and squeezed her like his life depended on it and started to cry, wiping tears onto the top of her head. “Oh Paula! ’M so sorry! I didn’t want him ta drug yew wif chloroform and kidnap yew! I didn’t fink this would ‘appen!”

Paula awkwardly patted Stuarts back. “What!? Stu! Is this really you!? I haven’t seen you in over a year! I heard you were in a comar!” 

2D pulled back so he could look her in the eyes. He had a desperate smile on his face. “I was, but then I got better!”

Paula found herself searching one dark peeper and then the other shaking her head. “What happened to your eyes!?”

“They got all facked up when I got hit in the ‘ead. Everyfing is darker than it used ta be… I miss seeing rainbows like I did before…” 2D looked off sadly before looking back at Paula grinning. “But I can still see ‘ow beautiful yew are!” He hugged her again tightly and rocket her back and forth, “I missed yew so much luv!”

Paula tried to take all of this in as the bedroom door opened and in sauntered Murdoc, with a grin on his greasy, green, pock-marked visage. “Ello love! Finally up! I’m sorry I had to bring you in under such short notice but Faceache here,” He motioned with his thumb to 2D, “Said you wouldn’t mind!”

2D sat up indignantly, “I did n--!”

Murdoc put his hand on 2D’s face and pushed him back and then came and sat on Paula’s bed gently grasping her hand in his clammy one. “Now look love, I’m putting together a killer, and I mean killer, band! Best band ever, right? Now 2D here was singing your praises about how much of a kickass guitarist you are and saying I couldn’t turn you down! So I had to hear it for myself.”

Paula sat a little straighter taking in the man before her and found herself gently biting her lip as she looked into his two different colored eyes. “What type of music are you making?”

Murdoc grinned and stood up, “Uhhhhuhuhuhu! Right to business! I like that! Come on and let’s get you to the studio to see what we’ve been up to shall we?” 

Paula found herself grinning as she sat up and collected herself. She glanced at 2D who was currently looking lovingly at a pillow and stroking it while muttering to himself, “Oh Paula, luv, I missed yew! Don’t yew ever leave me alone again!”

Paula waved her hand in front of 2D's face, “Stuart!? What are you doing!?”

2D looked up at her surprised, “Oh! Paula! Got a way from me there didn’t ya?! Don’t ever leave me like that! I missed yew so much!”

Paula looked at 2D in shock. Murdoc chuckled and said, “The hits to the head have left him a bit empty in the noggin.” Murdoc rapped his knuckles on 2D’s abused head. “Plus all the pills, isn’t that right Stu-pot?”

2D grinned, “I fink I can be ‘appy now that yew're ‘ere Paula!”

Paula’s jaw was slack as she looked at the man she used to date then she looked to Murdoc who had opened up the bedroom door and was making a grand sweeping gesture with his hand towards the hallway. Paula quickly got up to go and join him. 2D following behind grinning to himself and putting an arm around Paula’s shoulder as they walked out.

After listening to several test tracks Paula had to admit, she was hooked. She could tell this band was going somewhere and she wanted to go with them. The songs sounded great, she loved the bass and 2D’s voice was utterly unique and could lul her to sleep or send shivers up her spine from fear or lust. Unfortunately the rest of him left a lot to be desired. 

While 2D seemed to think they could fall right back into a relationship Paula found so many things off putting about the singer. He would often talk to objects around the house, greeting them and asking them about their day. He seemed to have problems with so many basic functions, like tying his shoes and putting his pants on the right way. She was surprised he wasn’t messing himself daily. He would spend hours looking out into nothing with his disturbingly dark eyes and when he smiled at her she would often feel a shiver of revolution go up her spine as she looked into the dark circles in the middle of his face. 

She found him so unsettling and he seemed so needy of her which only made things worse as he constantly wanted to be next to her, touch her or follow her around. He would often knock on the door when she was in the bathroom asking if she was in there and when she would be out because he was lonely.

Feeling sad for him she had pity sex with him one morning after his pills had worn off. He was always more lucid in the morning but it was hard to really feel attracted to him because she just couldn’t shake all his weird, pathetic and desperate behavior from her head while he was pumping away at her, dark voids, thankfully, squeezed shut.

Once he had finished he opened his eyes and gave her a big goofy grin, not seeming to notice her lack of interest in him, but then again he didn’t seem to notice anything these days. He lay down on top of her and squeezed her tight, whispering into hair, “Oh luv, I missed yew!” 

Paula tried to swallow her revolution and said, “Hum.”

“Awww, yew're a little quiet aren’t yew? Oh I know what yew want! I’ll take care o’ yew!” He said while nuzzling her neck and placing gentle kisses on the base of her throat before he moved and put his head down to her sex and she felt herself finally relax a little. He wouldn’t be able to say anything for a few minutes and she could look at the ceiling to distract herself from his dark pits and let her mind wander to someone else, plus he was gifted with a very talented tongue. 

After she had finished, thinking about a rotating cast of Leonardo DiCaprio, Mario Lopez, Brendan Fraser and Will Smith, 2D’s head popped up smiling at her and ruining the mood. She sighed in what she hoped was a loving, instead of exasperated, way and wondered how long this could continue for.

***

Now that the band had a singer, bassist and guitarist they needed a drummer and Murdoc went out scouting for a drummer which he found with Russel Hobbs. Russel was an overweight, black, American, that had been dealing with demons and spirits his whole life. When he was a child he went to school at the exclusive Xavier School for Young Achievers but got expelled after attacking several students because he was possessed by a demon. He then fell into a coma for 4 years until his parents finally got him exorcised by a priest, Father Merrin. 

Once Russel had gotten back to school he made friends with a bunch of rappers and one day while outside a 7/11 some gang bangers came by and killed all of Russel’s friends in a drive by shooting, including Russel’s bestfriend Del. Due to Russel’s psychic abilities the spirits of his dead friends got sucked into Russel’s head and became in brain companions. Russel found that he was both incredibly sad about the loss of his friends and weirdly still with them, often arguing with Del over everyday things, like who killed Kennedy. After this event Russel’s parents sent him to live with his uncle in the UK for his own safety.

Russel was working at Big Rick Black’s Record Shack when Murdoc slipped a bag on his head and forced him to come to Kong Studios. 

***

Murdoc pushed the big man with the bag on his head into Kong Studio by his shoulders. Russel tripped over the front step and Murdoc said helpfully, “Mind the step! Nhuh, probably should have said that beforehand… Heeh…

Russel gulped under the bag. “Man, I told you! I don’t have any money! I really don’t! If I did I would give it to you!”Russel’s dead friend Del loved to give a running rap commentary in Russel’s head during times of distress;

_ A bird in the hand worth two in the bush _

_ Money in the bag, just need a little push _

Murdoc growled as he closed the door behind him, “I told you I don’t want your money! Well… That's not true, if you have money that would be grand! But that's not why I brought you here! If this was about money, I would have gotten someone who had money! Noooo, this is about music! I heard your good with the drums and it just so happens we need a drummer for our band!” Murdoc whipped the bag off of Russel’s head. "Ta-da!!! Welcome to Kong Studiossss!

Russel took in a dark and dirty room and in it he saw a skinny lady on the arm of a shitty old couch, one leg slowly rocking back and forth as she crossed her arms up in frustration and called out, “Muds, how come I had to be drugged to come here and he just gets a bag over his head!?”

_ They want your brain, they want your body _

_ They want your blood, your sweat, your tears _

_ Like a slave in the field, your worth is your labor _

_ So come along brother, bust through all your fears _

Murdoc sighed exasperatedly at her. “Because, love, I couldn’t really carry him all the way here now could I?”

Paula rolled her eyes and sighed, hiding her delight at the unintended comment on her svelte figure, “Fair enough…”

Murdoc waved his arm towards the couch as he went and sat down in a lazy boy, “Go have a sit, Russel, and let’s talk this out. I have some of our tapes here and you can see what we’ve been up to.”

Russel didn’t move and just tried to take in the room and the two people in front of him. “What the fuck is going on?

A door opened up into the room and 2D came out carrying a tray with an assortment of snacks on it and 4 open beers that were being spilled all over the snacks. He had on his serene smile on as he put the tray on the coffee table and came over to Russel, waving his hands in greeting. “Ello and fanks for coming! I hope yew didn’t have a terrible ride ‘ere!”

Russel stared at the gawky man in front of him. “I was fucking kidnapped!”

2D sighed sadly, “I know it seems bad now, but it will get better. Mud’s isn’t that bad and the music we’re making is great!”

Russel grabbed the wiry man’s shoulders shaking him. “You were kidnapped too? And you?” He looked towards Paula.

_ Follow the beast through the underbrush _

_ What a rush _

Paula nodded, “Yeah we were all kidnapped but just listen to the music. He’s got something and we are really going to go somewhere.” Paula leaned over and hit the tape player on the coffee table and it started to play a track they had been working on,  _ Ghost Train.  _

As it played Russel slowly relaxed and went to the couch grabbing a beer soaked pretzel. “This is good music, but this is a fucking weird way to recruit someone and how are you so sure your "going" somewhere?” Suddenly Cuthbert popped up behind the couch cackling quietly to himself and jumped over the back and slid himself between Paula and Russel. "THE FUCK IS THAT!?"

Murdoc smiled, "This is Bertie!" The demon scowled at his nickname. "He is here to make sure we become the most successful band in the world!"

The Cuthbert growled arms crossed looking like a pouty little boy who was told to go to bed early. "I'm here to make sure Murdoc doesn't suddenly find Jesus! I also am acting as the band's agent..."

Murdoc grabbed a beer and took a swig while asking, "And why do you keep getting us shit bars!?"

Cuthbert leaned forward to yell at Murdoc. "Because the good bars require a drummer! Plus I am stuck in the burnt up body of a nine year old, it's hard for people to take me seriously over the phone when I sound like a prepubescent boy."

Murdoc looked like he wanted to punch the demon but as he was trying to put on a good show he took a deep breath and looked back at Russel smiling. “Look, I can promise you, we are going to be big. Really. Big. We’ve got a room for you here and have some grand times in store, and no mistake! So what do you say mate? Shall we make beautiful music together? Nuhhh!”

_ Okay okay, let’s start the countdown _

_ All aboard, next stop toon town _

_ Find your way home  _

_ Through the mud and the bones _

_ No matter where you start _

_ Or how far you roam _

Russel squinted at Murdoc, “You’re one moldy cracker, but I’ll stick around and see how this plays out.”

2D got off the chair grinning. “We ‘ave a full band! Now we can really start making music! I’ll go get snacks!” He then went off and walked straight into a wall bouncing back and grabbing his head and moaning as he found the hallway he wanted to go down in the first place.

Russel squinted at the assortment of snacks that were already in front of him and gave Paula a sideways glance. “What’s wrong with him?”

Paula sighed, “He’s had a lot of brain trauma, which is bad enough but Murdoc is giving him so many pain pills he doesn’t know he’s even on the planet most times.”

_ You, me, everybody be free _

_ Waste the brain and kill the pain _

_ Don’t try to find what you can’t see _

_ Just keep your head low and out of the rain _

Murdoc grunted, “Yeah, I need to cut him back on those… He's too much of an embarrassment this way…”

***

Murdoc started to cut 2D down on his pill intake which helped 2D be a little more down to earth but then he started to get more uppity. Murdoc came to breakfast, looking at his bandmates and grinned. “I got us a radio interview for our show this month!”

2D looked up excitedly from his overburnt toast, “We’ve got an interview? I can’t wait ta talk wif them!” 2D leaned over to high five Russel who grinned back at the overly excitable singer.

Murdoc glared at 2D. “And what makes yew fink you can talk with them!?”

“Well they want ta talk to the band, don’t they?”

“No you blue buffoon, they want to talk to me!”

2D pouted, “Oh, well could I maybe tag along? I’d like to say hi to me mum…”

Murdoc felt rage running through every sinew of his being as he looked at the happy go lucky singer. How dare this tosser be this happy all the time for no damn reason! His happiness just rubbed Murdoc the wrong way, every day and it was at a boiling point. Making a fist Murdoc pulled his hand back while staring at 2D’s still beaming face and then smashed it forward. 

_ WHAM! _

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” 2D was thrown to the floor from the impact and as he put his hand up to his mouth, he had one moment of fear that his teeth had been knocked out. As he spat out copious amounts of blood and two off white teeth, he saw his fears were true.

Murdoc smiled menacingly while rubbing the fist that had hit 2D. Murdoc felt a spicy bloom of joy warming his chest. It felt good to hurt someone, Murdoc had always known why his father did it all those times. There was a thrill about it, it was a taboo after all, but that just made it all that more exciting. To do the wrong thing and make someone suffer. Especially such an insufferably happy twat such as 2D just made it all the more pleasurable. 

2D was still on the floor shaking and holding his teeth. He held them up for Murdoc to see. “Me teef! Wot the ‘ell Muds! Me teef!”

Russel got up yelling at Murdoc, “What the fuck was that man!”

Murdoc shrugged and quickly started to leave the room while still trying to look chill about it. “He was bothering me.” 

Russel got up with a start and pounded after Murdoc with heavy steps, “You don’t just hit people you Goddamn asshole!”

2D slowly got to his feet still staring at his teeth. He felt so hurt, both by the pounding that was going on in his mouth and by the fact that Murdoc had hurt him so badly. He thought they were friends! Sure he got slugged a bit and smacked, and swatted by the older man, but he had socked him with intent to wound without a second thought. 2D turned to Paula, holding his two mangled teeth in his hand, not really sure what to do with them and hoping she would help.

She looked at his mangled and bloody face and shuddered. “You look terrible Stu…”

He was crying and shaking, “Wot do I do!?” 

She shrugged at him as she got up, “I don’t know. Take a pain pill I guess..” She left the room shaking her head. 2D slumped on a chair crying with his teeth in his hand. 

***

2D learned his place quickly after that incident, often throwing his long gangly-arms over his head when he felt scared or unsafe around Murdoc, which was most of the time. 

_ After the firs’ couple swings ‘e took, it became, like, a reflex, an’ I didn’ ‘ave to fink abou'’ it. Saved me some time... loads really. _

After a bout of abuse, Murdoc would often show a “kinder” side to 2D. Coming over and apologizing, telling 2D he was “sorry, but it’s hard working with such a thick-headed numb-skull,” and “Oh, would you like some pills, face-ache? Nhuh-huh!” Murdoc believed variety was the spice of life, and he would make sure to supply 2D with a variety of pain pills - Codeine, Oxycodone, Hydrocodone, Tramadol, Dilaudid, and all the rest--  _ Ask your Doctor which is right for you _ \-- and after all, what monster would beat up a valued associate and not give them something for the pain? Seeing where this was going Murdoc would only dole out enough for him to get high for the day, so no unfortunate accidents happened after all, Murdoc didn’t want to lose his pretty, little, meal ticket. 

For 2D’s part, he took to his new life with--- acceptance. He liked singing and tickling the ivories. He liked his new name, he thought it sounded cooler than Stuart and it never occurred to him to leave Murdoc. 

_ I never really fought about anyfing as far as I can remember. _

He always just followed along; partially out of fear, partially out of apathy, mostly out of a drug induced haze. After all, he didn’t have much going for him before Murdoc, and at least with Murdoc he was making some righteous little tracks, had interesting company and things were never boring. 

***

Paula was in the living room watching 2D playing on the GameCube. He was fully absorbed with it jerking his body back and forth as he flipped the control buttons in his hand. Tongue sticking out the side of his face. He asked her to play with him several times already and she said no, as she had every other day this week he asked. She didn’t like that thing, it seemed childish, but then again that's what he was, childish.

She got up and stretched before starting to go down the hall behind 2D when she ran into a shirtless Murdoc who stretched his arm to lean diagonally across the hall and block her path. He grinned showing off his yellow snaggle tooth. “Ello there love, how is it going for ya today?”

Paula sighed, “Same as ever. We need to get out more! Do some more shows or go to some clubs. Something fun at least!”

Murdoc chuckled lightly and crossed his booted feet, “You know, I can be a lot of fun myself… If you just cared to check me out…”

Paula looked over the older man, his average, greasy, green body with it’s slight beer gut accented by his dangling, golden, inverted cross. She sneered. “I’m pretty sure the view would be better at the club… Anyway Stuart thinks I’m his girlfriend.”

Murdoc laughed, “Come on, we both know you’d like to be with a man who isn’t soft in the head for once.”

Paula looked back down the hall at 2D who seemed to have just realized that, without his front teeth, he could stick his tongue up his nose. He seemed very proud of this as he pulled out a booger on his tongue and ate it. Paula shuddered and looked back at Murdoc. “Do that thing where you gyrate your hips…” 

Murdoc grinned and growled, “With pleasure love, but we should go somewhere with more atmosphere!”

Fifteen minutes later Paula was sucking off Murdoc’s turgid woodpecker in a bathroom stall that none of the band members ever cleaned. It was strewn with moist toilet paper and black dust bunnies. Murdoc grunted, “See love? This is the club experience here!”

Paula said around his dick, “Muuh.”

The bathroom doors banged open and Russel saw Paula and the pickle frozen in place at getting caught. “What the fuck man!?”

Murdoc pushed Paula’s head away from his dick and growled. “A little privacy here Russ!”

“After all the shit you put D through your going to take his girl too!?” Russel put a large hand on Murdoc’s shoulder gripping him tightly.

Murdoc tried brushing off his hand to no avail. “I didn’t steal his girl. She came willingly!”

Russel shook his head, “I’ve had enough of you man.” He socked Murdoc in the nose making a nasty smushing-cracking sound.

“NOT FUCKING AGAIN!!!!!!” Murdoc bellowed holding his dripping nose.

“I’ve had enough of---your---dumb---ass---shit!” Russel growled and socked Murdoc 4 more times in the head. Once he released Murdoc who slumped to the floor he turned his attention to Paula who looked at him, worried he would take out his anger on her as well. “And you! Why did you do this to D?”

Paula was exasperated, “He can’t even put his pants on the right way around! He never has to know!”

Russel sighed and shook his head at Paula, “I know he’s not the brightest bulb in the room but you shouldn’t do this to him! He adores you and he’ll be heart broken!”

“Until he rekindles his relationship with the toaster!” Paula spat back.

Russel had enough, he turned and started to leave the room. “I’m going to find him and tell him he’s too good for you.”

Paula hurried after Russel yelling, “He’s too good for me!?? He is an overneedy, nasty, half-wit!”

Russel opened up the door to the living room and 2D was standing right behind it looking like a kicked puppy. “Yew don’t like me Paula?”

Russel grimace and leaned on the door frame between them. “D, man, she was giving Murdoc a blowjob…”

2D looked between Russel and Paula shaking his head in shock. “She wot!?” He looked at Paula, “I fought yew loved me…” 

Paula’s voice started to sound shrill, “I never said that! You made that up all by yourself!  
2D wrapped his long arms around his waist to comfort himself as no one else would. “Yew never said otherwise! Yew let me fink that!”

Paula was gesticulating angrily. “Well you were having a hard time so I didn’t want to bring up something that would upset you further!”

He shouted back in a high pitched voice, “Well I’m bloody upset now!”

Paula yelled higher, “Well I’m sorry!”

2D continued escalating, “I fought we was soul mates and we was going ta get married!”

Paula looked aghast, “I would never have married you!”

2D bit his lip with one of his side teeth and shook his head as his badly abused eyes started to fill with tears. “I can’t stay ‘ere wif yew, I’m not going ta impose on yew any longer.”

Murdoc had staggered from the bathroom to watch the scene, blood all over his chest and bloody tissues stuck up either nostril as he wheezed heavily from his mouth between words. “Noooo! Bluebird! We need you!”

2D was trying not to cry in front of everyone but the tears were slipping down his face anyway. “I can’t be here wif Paula, Murdoc! Not after what she’s said!”

Murdoc did some quick calculations about who the better musician was and also deciding that he had, had better oral in gas station bathrooms said, “Your out of the band Paula!”

Paula turned around in shock to look at Murdoc. “Me!? You are the one who seduced me and now your kicking me out!?”

Murdoc grinned, he knew how to get her out right quick, “Weeelll, you shouldn’t have been such a slut…”

Paula’s brain short circuited, “You chauvinist pig! I don’t need any of you bastards!” She stormed off to her room, slamming doors behind her as she went.

2D took in Murdoc’s smirking face and saw a healthy way to let out his anger and sorrow. He gave Murdoc one more punch to the face as he screeched. “Yew shouldn’t a hit on Paula!”

Murdoc took the blow easily, it was nothing compared to Russel’s and he laughed it off. “Oh calm down 2Dents! Here, it’s been a tough day for you, mate. Have a couple extra pills. Birds are wily little facks, but pills are simple and easy!” Murdoc got out a couple pills from his back pocket and handed them to 2D.

2D looked distraught, "Wot---But---I---" His brain and heart hurt and he wanted to refuse on principle but his needs got the best of him and he snatched small white tablets out of Murdoc's hand and stalked off to his room, holding his pills to his chest and crying.

It all made sense to 2D after all, he was a piece of shit, with all the brain damage, lack of education, black eyes, missing teeth and he was never a looker to begin with. He knew he wasn't ignorant to his shortcomings and he knew he was broken goods, obviously Murdoc would steal his girl. 

As time went on, any girl 2D tried to be with for more than a night, Murdoc would put his grubby, green, fingers on. Well, if every woman preferred Murdoc then that was that. No use trying to be where he wasn’t wanted. 

Eventually 2D gave up, on relationships, his true love was the pills after all. One night stands were fine, but relationships require commitment and the only commitment he wanted was to taking his opiates morning, noon and night. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song 2D sings is Universal from Blur


	3. Tea Cups

Without Paula as lead guitarist, Murdoc put out an ad for a new guitarist in every band magazine he could get his grubby hands on. A few weeks later the band was coming back late at night from a gig in the local bar when they saw a missed FedEx package note on their door.

Murdoc growled and wobbled drunkenly while poking a long finger nail at the post-it on the door. “2D, I give you the grand mission to collect this package tomorrow. I don’t want to deal with it, nhuh --- BLUUUHHHGGG!” Murdoc quickly turned and threw up in a nearby bush.

2D, equally drunk and unable to see in the dark through his damaged eyes looked at the fuzzy note hazily and said, “I fink I can do that…”

The next day 2D, after waking up well into the afternoon and having a pain pill for breakfast he had gone to the Fedex depot but forgot his ID, so he came back home and grabbed his passport which he took back to the depo, only to find that the page in the passport with his name and picture had been ripped out by Murdoc to scrawl a girls number on, so he went back home to find his drivers license, then remembered he didn’t have one anymore and came back with a gas bill which they did not accept as a valid ID. Later, after begging Russel for help, the SNAFU was cleared up and the two of them finally brought home a large wooden crate.

2D and Russel struggled to get the box in the house and dropped it on the floor in front of an impatient Murdoc with a big huff. Russel heaved a loud sign and sat on the box to take a breather while shaking his head at Murdoc. “What in the hell did you order Muds!?”

Murdoc strutted forwards holding a crowbar in both hands. He cocked his head to the side and regarded the box. “I don’t quite know…. Must have been a drunk purchase. Ahhhh well! It's those little things you are too drugged up to remember doing that keep life interesting!”

2D, who was considerably more out of breath than Russel after moving the crate, collapsed the other side of the box and tried to get a splinter out of his hand while he spoke. “Like wimmin! So many wimmin I can’t even ‘member meeting who are in me bed in the morning. That’s always interesting, specially when they start crying because I can’t ‘member their names. Anyway, Muds! I can’t get this splinter outta me ‘and! Help me!”

Murdoc sighed dramatically and shook his head. “Sorry, Stu-pot. I can’t help you. That splinter is gonna work it’s way deep into your finger and go into your bloodstream. From there it’s gonna go straight into your heart and kill you. Nothing for it, mate. Now go find a corner out of the way to go and die in so I can open this crate!”

2D turned pale and looked aghast, “But I don’t want ta die! Please!!!! ‘elp me!”

Russel sighed and leaned over towards 2D, grabbing his wrist roughly so he could look at his hand for the splinter. “You’re going to be fine, man. Splinters can’t kill you. Muds is just being an ass.” Russel squeezed 2D’s hand and 2D went rigid and made a quick yelp of pain as Russel extracted the sliver.

Murdoc started thwacking 2D’s side with the crowbar. “Right, whatever, just get off the box so I can see what's inside! Maybe it's a Realdoll! If it is I am  _ not _ sharing!”

“Owwww! Right Muds! We’re going!” 2D whined, hands covering his face as he jumped off the box, with Russel standing up slower beside him.

Murdoc ran forwards and thwacked the crowbar into the top of the crate with gusto and put all his weight into pushing down. The crate didn’t budge. After a few more good heaves he stood up, lips pursed and jumped onto the bar. He slipped off and landed on the ground with a thud. 

2D tittered and Russel sighed. Murdoc snarled at them. “Stop messing about and help me ya wankers!” 2D gulped, afraid of Murdoc’s wrath, and ran forward and grabbed the crowbar. 

Murdoc stood up and put his hands on the crowbar. “Right, one, two, three!” Both men leaned forwards to push down and inadvertently smashed their heads together with a loud  _ thwack _ . “Fack! You bloody idiot!” 

Russel had had enough and stomped forwards with louder steps than necessary. “You’re both idiots, but atleast D has an excuse.” Russel pushed both men aside and grabbed the crowbar with both hands while putting his foot up on the bar before giving a strong push down.

A loud crack of nails being ripped out of wood rang through the room. Russel methodically started moving the crowbar around the top of the box, repeating his method. Murdoc ran in front of him whining. “Awwww, that looks easy! Let me do it! I can do it!”

Russel grunted as he continued going around the box. “No. You had your chance.”

Murdoc moaned and anxiously wobbled side to side in anticipation. “I should be the one to release my Realdoll! I can’t wait to see the perfect girl I ordered for myself!”

With a final huff Russel opened the last nails with the crowbar. He lay the crowbar down on the ground and then grabbed the top of the wood crate, careful to avoid the nails. All three men leaned forwards to see what treasure it held within.

A young Asian girl, of about 8, lay in the box stone still. She had on a radio helmet and a simple Japanese jacket and pants. Both Russel and 2D turned to Murdoc, faces twisted in revolution. Murdoc shook his head, “I---I didn’t order this! I mean, Asian sure, but they must have gotten the age wrong!”

As Murdoc spoke the girl’s eyes snapped open and before the 3 bandmates could blink she was standing up in the box, holding a guitar and shredding her heart out with a face melting solo. As she finished playing, her tiny hands dancing over the cords, she sprung out of the box to do an an insanely high karate kick and landing outside of the box with a flourish. Then she calmly pushed her guitar behind her back, put her hands together and bowed while greeting the band in a cheerful, chirpy voice. “Kon'nichiwa!”

Russel and 2D stood staring at the small girl, mouths dropped in shock and awe but Murdoc was unfazed and nodding to himself said, “Right our new guitarist! She’ll do. 2D, Russ, make sure she is kept in… uh, working condition, yeah? I’m going to order a Realdoll” He waved everyone off as he went to his room.

2D sat on his haunches to be at face level with the tiny girl and grinned before asking her the most important question he could think of, “Do yew like zombies?”

She looked at him, blinking her large eyes questioningly, “Kimi no itte iru koto ga wakaranai, henjin.”

Russel pushed 2D away from her, “Man, what type of a question is that!” 2D shrugged at Russel as Russel bent down to eye level with her, “Hey Baby Girl, can you speak English?”

She looked somewhat frustrated, “Rikai dekimasen ka?”

2D put his hands on Russel’s shoulder and leaned over him, “What is yewr name?”

The girl was getting angry and stomped her foot in frustration at the language barrier and shouted a nonsensical word at the two men, “NOODLE!”

Russel and 2D looked at each other and shrugged. Russel said, “I guess we’ll call her Noodle…”

***

The small girl was confusing for Murdoc, Russel and 2D who suddenly switched from being 3 bachelor musicians to 3 bachelors trying to raise an 8 year old child who couldn’t speak English. Likewise, the 3 musicians were confusing to Noodle, but then again, everything was confusing her. 

Her first memory was of seeing 3 large, smelly, men with strange voices talking in some language she couldn't understand. That was it, before that everything was blank.

She had jumped up out of the crate on instinct and, finding a guitar in her hands, she just started to play, it felt natural, like breathing. Then, again on instinct she decided to do a karate kick, and suddenly she realized she knew karate. When the two weirdo's started pointing at her and calling her Noodle, she figured that was as good a name as any and went with it.

Russel quickly stepped up to take on the most fatherly position in Noodle's life, trying to gently guide Noodle into her new life. Sure Noodle was an independant, badass guitarist/martial artist but she also was only 8 and would only eat candy if no one stopped her. 

Murdoc was surprisingly okay with having a child in the band. He was just happy to have a kickass guitarist around that he could extort by only paying her in Gameboy Cartridges. Plus he didn’t bother to change any of his behavior, he would still come out of his room in only a posing pouch, still get high, still have a different woman in his bed every night and still swear up a storm. 

Noodle and 2D just seemed to have an unspoken understanding of each other, even though Noodle couldn’t speak English. They were just happy to be together, playing music or video games and watching horror movies. Noodle never seemed to be scared of these movies, often getting excited, almost to a worrying degree, when someone’s head was blown off. If Russel was her dad, 2D was her brother and best friend. It wasn’t the best family, but it could have been worse for Noodle.

For 2D’s part, he liked his fucked up family. It matched his fucked up brain. He was good buddies with Russel, he had fun with Noodle and he liked following Murdoc’s lead. He loved making music, he had his pain pills and he had the  _ Void _ . Life was okay.

***

2D was in the studio plonking out some notes on his piano when Murdoc slammed down several pieces of paper with questionable stains on 2D’s piano. Murdoc leaned into 2D’s face breathing rum on him, saying, “I have done it! I have written some of the best songs known to man! They will revolutionize music! Nhuhhhh.”

“That's great Muds!” 2D said smiling encouragingly and bobbing his head. 

Murdoc slapped 2D’s face and growled, “Don’t patronize me Faceache! Learn this shite and make sure the small guitarist learns it too.”

“‘Er name is Noodle.” 2D said distractedly rubbing the place Murdoc slapped as he read the music and started to leave the room to find Noodle. She was in their very messy, garbage strewn living room playing on the Gameboy that Russel had bought her. After spotting her 2D smiled and tried to say hello in his thick English accent, “Kon’nishiwa, Noods!”

Noodle died in her game and threw her Gameboy on the couch angrily yelling, “Kuso!”

2D looked at the Gameboy and said as he sat down. “Zelda is ‘ard, it’s not safe ta go alone.” 

Noodle sighed and looked at 2D saying, “Kon'nichiwa Too Dee-chan. Nihongo ga hanasetara īnoni.”

2D knew Kon’nichiwa ment hello and he knew she calling him Too Dee but the rest of it was nonsense to him. He gave her a big gap toothed grinned at her and handed her a page of paper “Muds wants us ta learn this. Yewr going ta be singing, so yew gotta learn some new words!”

Noodle suddenly gave him a toothy grin, “Hai!”

An hour later Russel came in on 2D playing a synth on the couch and Noodle playing the guitar. When 2D saw Russel he grinned at him as he pointed at Noodle with his thumb, “I taught ‘er some new words!”

Noodle ran up to Russel and stood as straight as she could and proceeded to belt out, “Get the cool shoe shine!”

Russel looked at her grinning, “That's great Baby Girl!" Then looking at 2D, " But that is not a very useful phrase…”

Noodle grinned and rocked back and forth on her feet as she said, “She turned my dad on!”

Russel shook his head at 2D, “That is a less useful phrase…”

Murdoc sauntered out of the studio and Noodle ran over to him to tell him her new words, “She turned my dad on!”

Murdoc grinned and ruffled her hair, “And thus, one more soul is claimed by Satan.”

Suddenly a water balloon hit Noodle in the side of the head. She whipped her head around and spotted the demon boy giggling as he ran down the hall. Noodle took after him like a bullet pounding down the hall. She saw the basement door close quickly down the hall and she ran over to it slamming it open and running down the stairs. Once down there she saw the door with the red and yellow glow slam shut. She quickly looked for a weapon, and settled on a crowbar that was laying down next to the Winny. Grasping it with two hands she cautiously opened the door and was assaulted by a hot blast of air. 

She had never been here before, always feeling cautious of the intense heat she felt coming near the door. As she peaked her head in she saw a small room with a person sized hole in the middle that seemed to be filled with pure fiery light. Around the room was a bunch of rubble and rocks. She called out to the demon. "Doko ni imasu ka?"

She started slowly stalking around the room trying to stay as far away as she could from the blistering heat coming from the middle of the room. Suddenly she saw a brown black blur moved from behind one pile of rubble to another. 

Noodle rushed to the pile of broken cement and thwacked out her weapon in the direction of the boy, missing the demon but causing an avalanche of rocks to fall forward into the hell hole. Cuthbert got behind Noodle giggling, "You can't catch me, you're just a puny human!"

Noodle swung again and missed her target as he appeared behind her back for the second time. She took a deep breath and regripped her weapon before swinging the crowbar up in the air turning around quickly and smashed it down on the demon's head. The top of his head caved in with a terrible plortling crunch as she yelled, "Shine!"

What remained of the boy's broken face giggled and his head started to reform itself, like a deflated balloon being blown up. "You're getting better!"

Noodle grinned and gave a small bow to her sparring partner, "Hai!"

***

Noodle was up early practicing her martial arts in her room when she noticed that she wasn’t feeling well. Her nose was dribbly and she couldn’t stop sneezing. Not to mention she was finding it hard to breath. She eventually gave up on struggling to practice and just wandered through the dark and dreary halls of Kong Studio until she made it to the kitchen. Russel was reading a newspaper and eating some raisin bran when he looked up at her and smiled, “Hey there Baby Girl! How are you this morning?”

“ _Achoo!_ **Snaauuuffff!** ” She wiped her dribbly nose with her sleeve. 

Russel pouted at her, “Awww, do you have a cold?”

Noodle pouted back and nodded, “Hai.” She then grabbed a bowl and went over to the cereals, going to grab some _Lucky Charms._

Russel shook his head, “No, just because you're sick you can’t have 2D’s surgery crap, put that back.” Noodle huffed and then started to grab _Count Chocula._ Russel stared her down, “You can’t have Murdoc’s either.” 

Sighing Noodle grabbed the Raisin Bran. “Rēzun ga kirai!” Once she got her cereal in front of her, she stared at it for a second then sneezed into the bowl, shooting milk onto her face. 

Murdoc came in the room bleary eyed and cranky. “Russ, why didn’t you make breakfast!?”

Russel scowled at him, “I’m your drummer, not your cook. Be thankful I ever make your devil worshiping ass anything.”

Murdoc growled grabbing a beer and filling a bowl with _Count Chocula_ before sitting down. He had forgotten the milk and sighed as he poured his beer over the cereal. As he had his first bite, deciding it wasn’t that bad, he noticed Noodle. “Why does the small guitarist have smut all over her face?”

Russel replied, “She’s got a cold and isn’t feeling well.”

_Suddenly Murdoc was 8 and looking up at his imposing father, dressed in finery that had seen much better days. Murdoc was sniffling with a napkin stuffed in one nostril, eyes red and puffy. “But Father, I’m so sick, I don’t want to go onstage and sing tonight!”_

_Murdoc’s father grabbed his son’s shirt pulling him in and breathing on him with his rum saturated breath. “You will go onstage at the contest tonight, singing your best I’ve Got No Strings, and you will win me some money, or God help me you’ll be more than a little sick, you pathetic worm!” His father then threw Murdoc backwards through the years and into his adult body._ Murdoc shivered at the memory and to chase it off he started guzzling the beer. Mornings before he had a good buzz going were the worst for having feelings.

***

After breakfast Noodle settled into the living room couch talking small shuddering breaths while holding a blanket and a small taxidermied Rabbit with two heads that Russel had made out of roadkill for her. She had been watching some cartoons on the telly but the cartoons had just ended and changed to an evangelist show and, since the remote was lost ages ago and Noodle was too tired to get up and change the channel, she was stuck watching it.

Murdoc wandered in and saw the TV, a look of shock and disgust crossed his face as he hissed and ran to turn it off. “I WILL NOT ALLOW THIS IN MY ABODE!” 

Noodle looked up at him, small and shivering, giving him big puppy dog eyes and apologized, “Gomen'nasai.”

Murdoc’s expression softened. “Humf… There’s nothing good on at this time of day… cept that religious shite and soaps… You should read a book, y’know?”

Noodle sniffled and blinked at him.

Murdoc squinted at her and left the room, coming back a few minutes later carrying a book. And handed it to her. “Read this, it is much more… Endarkening, nhuh!”

Noodle grasped the book with her little hands and then looked to Murdoc. She pushed the book into him, “Watashi ni yonde?”

Murdoc sighed, “You can’t read English, can you? Oh alright, fine!” Murdoc took the book back and sat down next to Noodle on the couch. “[ Beyond Good and Evil ](https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/338580) by Friedrich Nietzsche.”

Noodle, grinning shuffled close to Murdoc and lay her head on his shoulder, like she would do with Russel when he would read to her. Murdoc’s body became rigid as he looked at her with shock but she had her eyes closed and just nuzzled into him closer. Since she was unaware of his discomfort, he decided that it really wasn’t that bad and then started to read to her from where he had left off in the book. “ _Swallow your poison, for you need it badly._ ”

An hour later, Murdoc was still reading, “ _Blessed are the forgetful; for they get over their stupidities, too._ And that is why 2D is so lucky, y’know?” Murdoc looked down and saw Noodle was asleep, snot slowly dribbling down her face onto his shoulder clutching her 2 headed bunny. Murdoc felt he should move, get away now, but she might wake up and for some reason he found he _cared_. He didn’t like that feeling, but he wanted to indulge it, just for a bit. Murdoc lay his head back on the couch and thought about this little thing wanting to cuddle with him. Sometimes when his dad had drunken himself into unconsciousness Murdoc would hug him, just to feel some human connection. Once he tried it when his dad was awake, but then he was smacked so baddly he couldn’t sit down for a week.

When he was 9 the dinner lady at school took him to the backroom and they spent some time on some bags of potatoes and onions. He didn’t want to do the things she made him do but at the end of it she had shushed and swaddled him... His eyes started to feel burny and tingly. 

_Who needs sappy cuddling!? This was strictly a favor to Noodle because…. She was a good guitarist! Yeah! That was it! I am being a mag-- magnaminniemouse---magnana---a generous leader! Looking after my ragtag band of misfits! Sometimes you had to do things like---cuddling… Don’t think about it too much, as Nietzshe said “If thou gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will also gaze into thee.”_

***

Russel had just finished giving himself a nice smooth shave and was putting on the fancy deodorant, _Old Spice_ , and had on a nice button up sweater as he passed 2D in the hallway. 2D smiled snapping his fingers at him, thumbs up. “Looking sharp there Russ!” 

Russel nodded to himself with a smirk on his lips. “Yo, D. I’m going out, and hoping I won’t be back till late. Can you look after Noodle? She’s got a cold today and isn’t feeling well.

2D nodded and gave a knowing smile. “Sure! Got yewrself a date?”

Russel grinned back. “You bet.”

2D bobbed his head up and down, excited for his friend. “What's her name!? What’s her name!?”

Russel shook his head, “I can’t tell you!”

2D pouted. “Awwwwwww!”

Russel continued. “You couldn’t keep your mouth shut if I did and I don’t want Murdoc getting all up in my business, like he always does with you.” 2D nodded to himself, he wasn’t good at keeping secrets. “You know if you just didn’t bring girls over here you’d do a lot better.”

2D whined. “But I’m so proud when I get a girlfriend, I want everyone ta know!”

Russel shook his head, “Come on D, you’ve got more brains than that! I know you do, somewhere… Don’t you want to have a steady?”

2D shrugged, shoving his hands in his pockets and slouching. “I don’t want ta see anyone at the moment…”

Russel looked at him disbelievingly. “Really?”

2D nodded and looked down at the floor to avoid eye contact. “Yeah… I’ve been emailing wif Paula…”

Russel blinked. “You're getting back together!?”

2D shook his head. “Naw, she’s dating a football player… But she complains about ‘im all the time!”

“So you're waiting for her to break up with someone else?”

“I’m not waiting… But if it should ‘appen…”

Russel shook his head. “Man, your her plan B…”

2D shook his head. “Naw, I’m more like plan Zed… I fink everyone else on the team has a chance before me...”

Russel sighed and put a hand on 2D’s shoulder. “You know there are a lot of other women out there…” 

2D scuffed the floor with his shoe and said in just over a whisper. “But I luv ‘er… I want ‘er ta know I’m ‘ere for ‘er.” 

Russel made a face between disgust and disbelief. “You broke up 2 years ago after she cheated on you… Man, you need to move on.”

2D shrugged, not looking at Russel. “I’m not waiting for ‘er, more like ‘oping… And she says she changed and doesn’t cheat anymore!” 2D then looked up grinning. “Anyway, I got lots ta keep me ‘appy, like music and pills!”

Russel grimace and patted 2D’s shoulder, “Go easy on the pills tonight. With Baby Girl not feeling well you should try to stay sentient for her.

2D smiled. “Course Russ! We’ll ‘ave a good time togefer!” Russel nodded at the younger man and went off. 2D wandered off to find wherever Noodle was. 

When 2D walked into the living room he found Murdoc and Noodle napping together on the couch, the big book open on Murdoc’s lap, and he just melted from the cuteness. In his heart of hearts he always knew his victimizer had a softer side, probably one that 2D would never get to see himself but it warmed the cockles of his soul to see that Murdoc was at least being nice to Noodle. 2D was a grown up, he could take the abuse from the abused man, so long as the sweet innocents that was Noodle. So long as she was protected, everything was right with the world. Being as quiet as possible 2D grabbed another blanket from a nearby chair and gently covered the pair before wandering out and flipping off the painfully bright white ceiling light.

***

A couple hours later 2D was in his room, releasing some pressure on his soul valve by playing out his sadness out on a melodica when Noodle wandered quietly into his room. She always liked his room with it's horror movie posters, multitudes of synths, melodicas and other bloopy sounding instruments. She also liked that he had a Buddist shrine in his room. Along with her other lost memories she didn't know why she found herself drawn to it but she knew it spoke to her. Then she got a coughing fit.

Whe 2D heard the horking behind him, he turned to see Noodle blanket in one hand and two headed rabbit in the other. He grinned at her, “Ello Noods! How yew doing?”

She coughed again, to show how sick she was.

“Awww, yew’ll get better luv, don’t yew worry. Russ is gone for the night so yew’ll have ta deal wif me instead. Yew ‘ungry? I can make yew some chicken soup for dinner.” Noodle nodded and then wandered off to her bedroom. 

2D went to the kitchen and grabbed two cans of chicken noodle soup for himself and Noodle. He started to hum a happy tune to himself as he grabbed an apple juice box and pulled open and upended it over a large glass and crumpled the bottle with his large hand. Then he grabbed a bottle of rum and put a small shot in the glass of apple juice.

Once the soups were ready he put everything on a tray and went to Noodle’s room. Her door was open and she was in her bed shivering and gobbing into a tissue. 2D put the tray on the bedside table and found a few more blankets strewn on the floor which he put on her and then put the tray on top of her lap. “I don’t fink I ever showed yew Young Frankenstein! That's a good one when yewr sick cuz it’s funny! When yewr sick yew need to laugh!” 2D booped her nose with his finger and she gave a small smile then he went to go get the movie from his room while asking. “Do yew need anyfing else Noods?”

Noodle slapped the spot next to her on her bed demandingly. 2D chuckled, “Yeah, yeah, I’ll come be wif yew once I get the movie. Have some of that apple juice! It’s a special kind me mum used ta give me when I was sick.” Once 2D came back and put the tape in the player he found he needed to unwind it, so as he sat on his haunches waiting for the damn thing to finish unwinding so he could hit play he decided to chat at Noodle. 

He wasn’t really sure if she could understand what he said most of the time, but he figured it was good for her to be talked at regardless. “Me mum was a nurse, and she used ta say looking after people when they were sick was the best way ta show someone yew luv them and having someone yew could count on ta look after yew was one of the best fings in the world.” He turned to grin at her, “Yewr lucky, yew have three people who luv yew!” Noodle was busy eating her noodles and 2D was pretty sure she was tuning him out. The tape finally finished and he hit play while coming over and laying down next to Noodle on top of Noodle’s many layers of blankets and grabbing his soup to eat with her.

Noodle quickly got into the movie, laughing at all of the funny characters. Once she was done with her soup she put her bowl on 2D's chest and grabbed the apple juice taking a sip and involuntarily felt her body shiver, "Weeleeeh!" She stared at it with disgust and shock and then took another sip, "Weeleeeh!" She looked at 2D questioningly.

2D chuckled as he put the empty bowl on the bedside table. "It will 'elp wif yewr throat and 'elp yew sleep." She shrugged at the drink and took another sip. When the movie ended 2D looked at Noodle who looked back at him one eye half closed. "Hehe, I fink yewr ready for bed..." 2D said sitting up. 

Noodle made a cry moan at him and grabbed his hand. "Mwaa!"

2D looked at her. "Luv, I can't stay wif yew all night! What do yew want?"

Noodle croaked out tugging his hand with each word, "Get--the--cool---"

2D nodded with understanding. " _Shoe shine_. Yew want me ta sing to yew? Okay, but that's not a very good song to go to sleep to…” 2D knew his talking voice had been compared to a high pitched organ grinder but when he sang it was like he was a completely different person with a voice that could be soft and gentle like an angel. He racked his brains and thought of what his mom used to sing to him. Finally thinking of a good song he grinned and repositioned himself to sing.

_"Summertime, and the living is easy._

_Fish are jumping and the cotton is high._

_Oh, your daddy's rich and your mama is good-looking._

_So, hush, little baby, don't you cry."_

As he sang the song Noodle started to slowly relax into the bed letting sleep claim her as she listened to the gentle lullaby. 2D found himself thinking about the lyrics as he sang. Did Noodle have a mom and a dad somewhere? She just appeared and the three musicians never even thought to question it. Should they be trying to find her family? Post her image somewhere? Then 2D saw a toy Godzilla on her floor and started thinking about monster movies, previous thoughts forgotten from his much abused brain. Once he was sure Noodle was asleep he quietly went out of the room and closed the door behind him.


	4. Shooting Gallery

After renaming themselves Gorillaz and releasing their first album the band was well on their way to stardom and had their first big tour lined up. They were in the middle of the USA, somewhere between New York and California. After a while it all started to look the same. It felt like the only things they saw on tour were the venues, restaurants, gas stations, tour bus and the scenery flying by outside the tour bus. The band had three vehicles for this tour. One for sound equipment, one for the techs to sleep in and one for the four band members, with Murdoc getting the master bed and Russel, 2D and Noodle having small alcove-like holes to sleep in. 

They had a driver, Steve, who was a scrawny, unwashed, forty year old, chain smoker who couldn’t seem to stop shaking. They didn’t have to spend time driving themselves, but still being cooped up in a tour bus while it drove up to 14 hours a day was it’s own kind of torture. Pit stops were quick, and usually just about going to the bathroom, having a smoke, and grabbing some fast food. They had their days off, but usually they were so tired they stayed close to the tour bus and just took their respective escapes, be it pills, women, alcohol, or video games. 

***

Noodle was on autopilot absentmindedly following Murdoc as she played her Gameboy while walking. Murdoc went into the men’s bathroom with Noodle innocently following. A gruff middle aged, bearded, janitor was cleaning the bathroom and seeing the green man and little girl come in, he did a double take and started yelling. “What in God’s good name are you doing bring a little girl in here!” 

Murdoc, apparently noticing Noodle for the first time shrugged, “Letting her explore her gender identity, mate.

The man shook his head in disgust, “I don’t know how ya’ll do it from wherever ya’ll come from but down here we doing let this happen!”

Noodle realizing her mistake quickly went out of the men’s room and found Russel grabbing a bunch of snacks for the guys and fruit for her. He seemed intent on making her eat fruit instead of the garbage they ate and Noodle found it incredibly unfair. Sighing, she set herself on autopilot with Russel and resumed walking and playing her Game Boy.

2D who had been digging through the movie bins had collected a bunch of new horror films and was walking towards Russel and Noodle giddy to show off his catch to Noodle. “I found  _ Jaws _ ! This movie would be scarier if it was about whales, but still it’s a good one and teached us ta have a ‘ealthy fear o' Neptune! ‘Ere’s  _ Silence o’ the Lambs _ , talks about stranger danger! And _ Psycho _ ! That one should make yew feel better about not having a mum!”

Noodle bobbed her head excitedly for the movies, “Takusan no chi ga aru koto o negatte imasu!”

Russel shook his head at them and having collected enough stock to make it through the winter and the three of them went to pay. The cashier, a thick middle aged woman who had been giving them the stink eye since they entered greeted them as they came to the counter, “Ya’ll not from around here are ya?”

2D grinned as he put the movies on the counter. “We’re from England!”

Russel huffed putting the food down. “Speak for yourself! I’m from Brooklyn.” 

The cashier spoke in a long drawn out drawl. “Hummmm, so what are ya’ll doing here?”

2D was looking at all the pretty packages of candy on the counter. “Buying stuff.”

The cashier, who had not started ringing them up, looked at the Noodle, “And where is your mommy sweety?”

Noodle, annoyed that she had to stop looking at her game for a moment, said, “Nande watashi ni hanashikake teru no.”

Russel tried to give a friendly smile but it just came off as annoyed. “She doesn’t speak English, she’s a foreign exchange student…”

The cashier studied the two men with distaste. Murdoc finally caught up with the group and reading the atmosphere of the room decided to heat things up. He threw a package of fancy condoms on the counter before wrapping an arm around both 2D and Russel, “Hey, Sweetheart’s!” Murdoc noticed some sexual enhancement pills on the counter that helpfully said;  _ If she's a screamer you'll go to prison! _ Murdoc quickly grabbed the pills and threw them on the counter. “Oh, I’ll need these if I’m going to be able to give you both a good time tonight! Are you a screamer 2D?”

The cashier blinked, “We don’t serve your kind here!” She quickly turned tail and walked as fast as she could to the store’s backroom.

Russel growled at Murdoc, “Man, did you really need to do that!?”

Murdoc smiled toothily, “Yeahhhh, yeah I did… I’m for equal rights for everyone y’know?” 

Russel growled, "Your for stirring up shit equally with everyone..."

A well put together man with a tie came rushing out of the backroom and grabbed Noodle’s shoulder and stood behind her protectively. Noodle felt overwhelmingly disgruntled at this and tried to brush his hands off but he wouldn’t let her go as she chirped angrily. "Okina mondai ga okite imasu!"

The man standing as tall as he could spoke to the three men. “This child should not be witness to such depravity! I don’t know what your relationship with this child is but I wouldn’t be surprised if you were trafficking!”

2D looked angry, “If that’s what you American’s call it, we’ve been trafficking all day! Now unhand our Noodle!”

Russel put his hands up to calm everyone down while shooting a nasty glance at 2D, “We are NOT trafficking! We’re musicians and she is part of our band!” Russel noticed Noodle was slowly tensing her body, getting ready to kick the shite out of the man holding her. “And,I think you should let her go before she---”

Murdoc put a hand on Russel’s shoulder, “Naaaw Russ, let it go. The wanker is asking for it. Nhuh.”

Like a spring Noodle gave the man holding her a good swift jab to the balls with her elbow causing him to double over in pain and said angrily, “Sawaranaide.” Then she quickly ran forward grabbing Russel’s hand and 2D’s hand she started happily skipping out of the shop pulling them along. 2D giggled and spoke under his breath. “That’s right Noods, always go for the giggle berries!” 

Murdoc couldn’t help grinning at the happy little thing bounding out of the store. He looked down at the man below him, convulsing in pain, and gave him a swift kick with his boot and then hurried off to get in the bus before anyone official could be called in.

***

Several hours later they had no repercussions from their gas station hijinxs and everyone was enjoying a nice afternoon to themselves. Noodle was about to let loose in her own special way. 

While the tour had been going on Noodle would take any chance she could to sneak into Murdoc room and go on a reconicince mission. Murdoc had a lot of crazy stuff in there, like animal bones, knives, a bunch of weird smelling oils and a large amount of deflated, greasy balloons that were always on the floor. There were so many different types and colors and some had weird little nubs. She wished that she could have seen them blown up. She didn't really think Murdoc was the type of guy who liked balloons but there it was. 

What she really wanted was the stuff his multitude of lady friends left behind. She would find all sorts of trinkets, rings, necklaces and makeup. She had collected quite a bit of makeup recently and was excited to experiment. Going to the mirror in the bathroom she applied some green eye shadow to her cheeks, put on some orange lipstick and drew on some scary dark lines around her eyes. She also grabbed the straight razor that Murdoc used for shaving and decided to give herself a haircut. She was aiming for something Tank Girl would have and she succeeded, shaving a circle around her head, leaving a tuff in the middle and gave herself a proud nod in the mirror. Once she had finished beautifying herself she admired her work proudly, but she still wanted to play with her makeup. Then the best thought she ever had came to her!

If 2D had a superpower it was, with the power of pills, that he could sleep through anything. It was 2 pm and Russel was taking a nap in his bunk, Murdoc was locked in his room and 2D was stretched on the couch enjoying some time with the Void before the show.

She padded quietly over to 2D and gave him a test poke to the shoulder, whispering, "Too Dee." No response. She shook his shoulder and said louder "Too Dee!" Grabbing his shoulder harder and whisper-screaming into his ear called his name again, “Too Dee!” No response, he was dead to the world. Her plan could commence. 

She started the process by trying to put on a dark plum lipstick on his chapped lips. She started off fine, following his lips but then she accidentally colored outside the line giving his lips a lopsided look. That would never do, so she tried to make the other side match the lopsided one by adding more lipstick on his upper lip but she overdid it again. Sighing, she decided that maybe he would look his best if his whole face was covered in lipstick, then everything would be even! 

She pushed the lipstick tube out all the way and with lots of strong rubbing she smeared all of the lipstick tube on 2D's face, using her hands to push it in and grinding it deep into his pores. Having a single color covering his whole face was boring so she then proceeded in smearing a dark red tube of lipstick on his face to give some added color and texture. Adding the finishing touches she threw some glittery eye makeup on his hair and sat back to look at her creation. His face was a mass of greasy dark reds and it was somewhat reminiscent of a person who had their face skinned off. Yes, he would be so pleased when he saw it!

Several hours later when 2D's visit to the _ Void _ was over he groggily sat up and rubbed his face pulling his hand away and looking at a mass of greasy dark reds. "Wot the fack?" He muttered to himself and went to the bathroom to look. Noodle, who had been playing her Game Boy, was watching from the corner of her eye and followed him as he went to check himself out in the mirror.

When 2D saw himself in the mirror and gasped. "Wuuhhooooaaaaahhhhwwow...."

Noodle stood in the doorway looking at 2D with a shit-eating grin.

2D looked at her seriously, "Did yew do this Noods!?"

Noodle nodded proudly, "Hai!"

2D grinned deviously at her, "Yew made me a zombie!" He put his hand up as high as he could, which was to the ceiling of the bus, for a high five which Noodle tiny form jumped up to and hit.

Russel had just gotten up from his nap and saw Noodle in front of the bathroom door. “Baby Girl! What did you do to your hair!” 

Noodle grinned at Russel and mimicked holding a grenade launcher and shooting it at Russel. “BOOOM!”

2D chuckled from the bathroom. “She wanted ‘er ‘air ta look like Tank Girl!”

Russel groaned as he went forward to see 2D. “You gotta stop showing her that crap---AAAUUUGG! D! What happened?"

"Noods infected me wif a zombie virus while I was sleeping!" 2D was admiring and groaning at himself in the mirror. “Uuuuunnnnnnggggggggg… Brrraaaaaiiiinnnssss!”

Russel shook his head. "Aww Baby Girl, you shouldn't take advantage of people when they are sleeping! " Looking at 2D he said, "D, you look terrible, we need to get that off of you."

2D nodded and tried to wipe it off with his hands, which had no effect on cleaning his face but did get his hands equally messy. "Awww 'ell." 

Russel sighed and grabbed a bunch of toilet paper and took out some rubbing alcohol from the medicine cabinet. Putting the alcohol on the toilet paper he tried to wipe off the mess on 2D's face. It made the toilet paper a ghastly raw flesh color but didn't look like it did much on the greasy mass.

Russel tried again rubbing harder this time while 2D tried to move away from the vigorous rubbing complaining. "Russ! Yew're 'urting me!"

"Murdoc is gonna hurt you if he sees you like this for the show tonight. Stop moving D!" Russel grabbed 2D's head with his other hand to stop him from flicking his face away from the wadded toilet paper. 

An hour later the majority of the lipstick was wiped off, except for the stuff that was mixed up in 2D's hairline and still clotted around his stubble. His pasty British skin was stained by the lip stick and gave him the complexion of a person being choked to death. Russel sighed at him."Best I can do D. That color is probably going to stick to you for awhile..."

2D sighed and nodded, "Fanks Russ."

Murdoc drunkenly stumbled out of his bedroom and looked over 2D and Russel together in the bathroom. He had a very unnatural look of worry on his face, "Faceache, what did you do to your face!?"

"I 'ad lipstick on it!" 2D said, not wanting to mention Noodle's part.

Murdoc just shook his head at 2D pityingly at how stupid 2D was and punched him in the side of the head. "How many times do I have to tell you, don't mess your pretty face!"

"I fought, since yew knocked out me teef, that we 'ad given up on me being pretty..."

Murdoc opened his hands questioningly while looking down towards hell in desperation. "That is part of your pretty boy look! Heroin chic with a side of mutilation! Not actively dying! It will put the audience off wanting to fuck after the show. Where are your brains Stu-pot!? Uuuuhhhh..." Murdoc was exasperated and left for the kitchen in a huff and gave a smile to Noodle. “Nice hair cut there Noods!”

Russel sighed, "Don't let him get you down D."

2D grinned at Russel, "I don't! He didn't even try ta hit me wif anyfing hard, like a hammer. I fink we've turned a corner!"

Noodle was feeling bad for the trouble she caused and came up shyly and gave 2D a paper crane and walked away quickly without saying anything. 

2D played with the crane and smiled at Russel again, "And she 'ad a good time."

***

" _ NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"  _ It was 3 am and 2D was just reliving seeing the window shatter and the car coming at his head.  **_BANG!_ ** “Fack! Owwww.” He had sat up forgetting he was in a little alcove and smashed his head on the ceiling and he felt a migraine coming on as everyone else on the bus yelled at him.

Driver Steve, who was doing some night driving to get them to their next show, screamed as he swerved on the road from being startled, “FACKING HELL MAN! I ALMOST SHIT MYSELF! DON’T DO THAT!”

“SHUT THE FACK UP FACEACHE!” Murdoc screeched.

“D, I JUST GOT TO MOTHER FUCKING SLEEP!” Russel bellowed.

“Nande Kon’na koto ga okotte iru no!?” Noodle squealed.

“Terribly sorry!” 2D muttered as he grabbed his pounding face with one hand and fished out an unused pill from his pocket that Murdoc had given him earlier with the other hand. He stumbled to the kitchenette and on the way fell over the coffee table dropping his pill in the process. The noise again caused the other people on the bus to groan and moan about how noise he was being. 

2D started crying out in little pain laiden sobs as quietly as he could while on the coffee table. His black eyes didn’t see so well and he would never find his pill in the dark bus, and even if he did that one pill would never get him to the Void. It barely did anything at all but Murdoc wouldn’t give him more and now that Murdoc was pissed at him for waking everyone up. Even if 2D explained his predicament Murdoc wouldn’t care and 2D just wanted the bashing in his brain to stop.  _ Why does this have to ‘appen all the time!? Don’t I ‘ave enough problems wif out this!? _

“Too Dee?” 

2D looked up and squinted into the darkness and saw Noodle handing him a cup of water and a pill. 2D grabbed the pill and the water like a drowning man grabbing a flotation device. “Fanks luv!” He gulped it down quickly, wishing that it would work the instant he swallowed and give him peace but he knew that there would be no such luck for a poor sinner such as himself. He took a shaky breath and shuffled of the coffee table and over to the couch muttering quietly. “Don’t ever get ‘it in the ‘ead wif a car Noods.” 

2D unlatched the window behind him as he pulled out a crushed pack of cigarettes from his pocket, lit one and took a good drag before blowing it out the window. “Uggg... Well at least this is the first time this tour I’ve had a nightmare... I was doing it every night before we left...” He repeated the drag and blow out the window routen. “I ‘ope I don’t do that again... Muds’ll kill me...” 

He inhaled and exhaled on the death stick and Noodle tried to grab his cigarette from his hand wanting to try it herself. “Naw luv.” He said moving his hand away. Noodle flashed a look of disappointment and then went to the crushed pack on the table. 2D shook his head and grabbed it, placing it back in his pant’s pocket. “No. It’s not good for yew.” Noodle stared him down and poked him hard in the chest. He grinned at her, “Awww, it’s too late for me, I’ve been doing this since I was a kid. If I’m lucky I’ll keel over any day now!”

Noodle looked at him with horror searching his black orb with her eyes, her lip starting to tremble. 2D sighed, “It was only a joke luv. Smoking’s the least o’ my problems.” He grinned at her to prove how fine he was. “Noods, go back ta sleep, it’s bad ta be up this late.” 

Noodle knew he was still sad and wanted to give him something to make him feel better or say something that would help but didn’t know what to do. She sighed and gave him a sad smile and standing up on the couch leaned over and gave him several pats to the head like everyone kept doing to her. He chuckled, “Fanks Noods.” Then she hopped off the couch and wandered off back to bed as 2D let the opiate, nicotteen and the cool night air mute his headache. 

***

Five hours later Russel, 2D and Noodle had just finished grabbing some questionable, squished, pastries and surprisingly good coffee in the gas station for breakfast and were rushing through the freezing snowy parking lot to the bus again. As they got back in their bus they each said a quick hello to Steve, who had just gotten in the bus before them, when they heard loud Disco music being pumped out of Murdoc’s room and a note scrawled on Murdoc’s door.

_ I’m in here. Leave me the fack alone. _

Russel checked out the note and muttered, “Good enough for me." He called back to the driver "Lets go Steve” and they took off to their 9 pm show.

An hour later things were going normally, Russel was listening to a rapper on his headphones that he was considering reaching out to as a collaborator. 2D was on the couch, watching Carrie on the living room TV and saying in his best adulting voice, "See Noods, this is why yew should always be nice ta everyone. Good life lessons ta be learned from 'orror!" 

Noodle absently said "Hai." while she was consumed with painting 2D's nails neon green and pink. She didn't do anything to his face anymore but nails and hair were fair game. She had already finished doing his hair, which was in 6 different elastic band poofs, without any real rhyme or reason.

**_Whaaam!!!!_ **

Murdoc's door slammed open and a chunky blond woman came storming out of the back room, naked, tits flopping all over the place, towards the driver.

“The green man said you were just driving around the parking lot in circles! He said that’s how he gets off! THIS IS NOT THE PARKING LOT!!! I need to get back to my gas station NOW! If I’m not back there my Daddy, is going to lose his shit and you don’t want to see him when he does!” She was slapping the driver hysterically and trying to grab the wheel.

“Fucking bitch, get off me! I’ll turn around when I can but this is a highway! I can’t just make a goddamn U-Turn, now can I!?” Steve yelled at her and trying to push her of himself, causing him to swerve erratically on the road and causing the assortment of books, beer bottles, and other random garbage to go flying across the van along with spilling the bottle of nail polish that Noodle had been using on to 2D's shirt.

Russel came up behind the woman and tried to grab her arms and restrain her. “Yo, lady, we’ll get you home! We just didn’t know you were here!”

She turned on him screeching, “Don’t you fucking touch me! I will shoot you!”

2D screamed, throwing his hands on his head “NOOO!!! I was worried 'bout this soon as we came ta America! This is how it's gonna end! Shot to deaf!” 2D then threw both his large hands on Noodles head trying to push her under the coffee table to protect her. “Duck n’ cover, luv!” 

Noodle wasn’t having it and was trying to fight off his long arms by futally trying to swipe at his body with her short ones and yelling “Bangō!!! Bangō!!! BANGO!!!!”

Murdoc came storming out, fully naked, flaccid penis flopping back and forth and saying, “Oh give it a facking break, Stu-Pot, if anyone is gonna kill you, it's gonna be me.” Lifting up his hand he started shaking a handgun for everyone to see. “And, my little lot lizard, you can’t shoot anyone without a gun. Yeah? Nhuhhhh...”

Steve suddenly yelled and swirved over to the side of the road yelling, “Oh, fuck, the man, we’re screwed!” The loose objects of the room started to roll around chaotically again.

“Wot, man!?” 2D yelled, finally giving up on pushing a very annoyed Noodle and instead scrabbling at his face anxiously.

“Hey, Faceache!” Murdoc yelled, getting 2D’s attention. “Catch!” Murdoc threw the gun at 2D who reflexively caught it while screaming. “AUUUUAAAGGGGG!!!”

“PUT DOWN THE WEAPON AND PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR!” Two policeman just seemed like they appeared outside the door of the bus, one with a gun aimed at 2D. Five other police cars started zipping towards them.

2D tried to slowly put the gun down on the table while having a panic attack and babbling. “I’m putting it down right ‘ere! Don’t shoot me! I don’t want ta die! Please don’t kill me! I’m scared!” 

Noodle sighed at all this drama and grabbed the gun from 2D’s shaking hand and with well trained, precise, movements of a grizzled army vetran she unloaded the gun and dropped it to the ground causing everyone around her to stare at her in amazement. Seeing she had everyone’s attention she said the most helpful thing she could think of. She pointed at the naked woman yelling, “She turned my dad on!”

***

Everyone was put into a cop car and driven to the station and questioned but things cleared up quickly after it was found out that the gun belonged to the girl it was all just a waky misunderstanding.

Once released all the people who had been on the bus stood outside of the station while the girl got picked up by her whoremonger and drove off flipping the band the bird. Steve took a deep breath then started screaming bloody murder at Murdoc. “I am not dealing with this SHIT! You guys are fucking wacko! I am out! This sort of crap never happened in my parents basement!” Steve stormed off, flipping the band the bird as well.

Murdoc brushed everything off with a grin. “Weeeellll that went surprisingly well! Nhuh.” He turned around to the rest of the band and smiling. “Sooo the other two vehicals are making their way to the venue to set up. It’s 3pm now, so we just need to drive ourselves 7 hours to the venue for the show that is in….” Murdoc checked his phone’s time. “6 hours!”

Russel, 2D and Noodle moaned in unison. Murdoc put up his head “Don’t worry, I’ve got this, I am great at driving! EEhhh? Eeeh?” Murdoc elbowed 2D who scowled at the older man. “And! American’s are very lax about speeding!” 

Two speeding tickets later they finally got to the venue an hour and a half late to a rather annoyed audience. But good music can soothe most problems and soon the audience was happy to forget the delay. 

***

The band was quickly assigned a new driver and made it to the next venue early the following day. Noodle was in the small empty space in the middle of the bus practicing her karate as the bus started to weave it’s towards the back of the venue to park. Murdoc huffed at her as he tried to get past her precise kicks and punches in the air to leave the van. “Noodle, do you have to do this every day? You did this all yesterday! You have to be good enough at it already!” 

Noodle jumped in the air and did a spinning kick, her leg an inch away from Murdoc’s smushed nose. Murdoc snarled at her and grabbed at the air where she was. “Right, that's enough! You're just lucky my nose doesn’t stick out or you woulda hit it and then there would be hell to pay. Get over here you rapscallion!” Noodle giggled and ran out of the van with Murdoc growling and running after trying to catch her.

Noodle, dodging around several roadies moving in large black cases into the venue, went into the loading dock. As Murdoc ran in after her he was greeted by the sight of a middle aged man with a puffy red face in a casual tan suit rushed over to them, smiling prodigidly and coming forward hand extended. “You must be one of the musicians! So glad to meet you! I am---”

Murdoc absentmindedly shook the man’s hand as he swiveled his head around looking for Noodle. “Yeah, yeah, I’m the leader of the band. Have you seen a tiny little fack run in here?”

The man frowned. “No… But I’m glad to have such an exciting, world class, famous band, all the way from England here! And you put this all together!?” 

Murdoc couldn’t resist the flattery and his demeanor softened. “Weeeelllll, yes. I did put this all together myself. It’s been hard, lots of salad days… But I push all that into my art!” 

The man’s eyes were wide as saucers as he nodded compassionately at Murdoc. “That is the life of a true artist. The audience will never know the sacrifices that are made.”

Murdoc  _ liked _ this guy! He got how hard it was for him! “No, they never will know. Did you know, my favorite music is metal? Yet, here I am doing this  _ alt rock _ because that's what the kids want these days. Gotta give the audience what they want, but still stay strong to your deeper message. Your inner truth, if you will. It takes brains and understanding.”

The man nodded once more with deep admiration and then his overly friendly grin was on again as he moved towards 2D and Russel who had arrived behind Murdoc. “Hello! You must be the other band members! I am the promoter for the venue my name is---”

_ “EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE” _

Feedback screeched through the theatre as everyone cringed and held their ears. Once it was over 2D opened his eyes as the producer started who started shaking 2D’s hand like it was a spraycan. “Kids today love anything that looks strange and unusual! Cute what you did with your eyes there buddy!” 

2D smiled blandly. “It ‘urts.”

Trying to hide a quick spasm of shock upon seeing 2D’s front teeth missing. The promoter gave him a clap on top of his hands while quickly looking away. “Awww, well pain is beauty as they say…” 

“I could do wif being less pretty…” 2D muttered finding his cigarettes in his back pocket. He pulled out a cigarette and threw it at his mouth, trying to catch it. It fell to the floor and 2D sighed and picked it up as he wandered off to have a smoke. 

The producer gave a quick nod and hand shake to Russel and grinned down at Noodle. “Glad to meet you! And who is this precious little angel? I’ve been excited to meet such a talented young girl since I got the promo for your band!”

Russel smiled while shaking the hand back. “This is our guitarist, Noodle.” Noodle continued to stare expressionlessly at the man.

“Awwww, why are you so sad looking hunny?” The man squatted down next to Noodle, his face an inch away from hers. She didn’t like him invading her personal bubble and backed up a step behind Russel. 

Russel shrugged, “She’s a quiet one, but wait until she gets onstage-- she’ll rock the house!”

***

An hour later, while Murdoc, Russel and 2D were all on stage getting ready for their sound check, the manager came back with a wrapped gift behind his back. He wandered up to Murdoc. “Where is your little guitarist at? Isn’t she going to do a sound check with you?”

Murdoc glanced around, “Yeah... Faceache! Where is Noodle? You always know where the hell she is.”

2D shrugged as he was stretching his fingers out knuckles cracking. “I dunno where she is all the time Muds…”

Murdoc took a deep breath. “I have to do everything around here… NOODLE! GET OVER HERE!”

Then a blur of Noodle jumped on Murdoc’s ill-equipped shoulder from the rigging screaming. “ _ BONZAIIIIII _ !” Murdoc collapsed onto the ground like a moist envelope. Noodle posed heroically on his chest. 

Murdoc got up growling at her while the promoter watched, “ _ You little fu--- _ un child! Love her to bits, I really do… Nhuh…” Murdoc patted her on the head, quickly retracting his hand reflexively as she snapped her chompers at his gnarly claws.

The promoter, who’s name no one cared to remember and frankly everyone was kinda bothered with, held out the gift to Noodle and smiled at her. “Go on sweety, it's a present for you.”

Noodle did not go to grab it. Instead she stared at the man’s sweaty forehead. Murdoc snarled and grabbed the present and shoved it into Noodle’s hands saying, “Thank the nice man, ya li-- Noodle.”

Noodle bowed formally. “Arigatōgozaimashita”

The man crouched down one hand out for a hug and the other tapped his cheek. “Awww don’t I deserve some sugar?” Noodle narrowed her deathly gaze at him unsure of what was going on.

Murdoc sighed and gave Noodle a little kick forward with his boot causing her to touch the promoter. The promoter wrapped her in a hug and gave her a sloppy kiss on the cheek. She quickly back away feeling revolution running up and down her body. She looked to Murdoc, to see if he saw the bullshit that just happened, he gave her a frown and a shrug. She glanced at 2D and Russel, both of whom were arguing over the latest episode of X-Files and didn’t notice what was going on. The promoter smiled at Noodle and pointed to the box in her hands. “Open it up!”

Noodle narrowed her eyes and opened the package. She pulled out a sparkly pink Barbie in a box. The promoter was grinning as he pointed at the Barbie’s face, permanently painted in a manic smile. “You should smile more like this, show off your pretty face!” Noodle made no effort to smile and just stared blankly at him. “Go on, take her out and play with her!”

Noodle opened up the box and ripped the doll out of it’s twist tie bonds. She took a long hard look into the dolls eyes, then took her favorite toy, a plastic Godzilla she had stolen from 2D’s room, out of her pocket. She then made Godzilla bite the dolls head and with a wrenching twist she ripped the dolls head off it’s body. “Watashi wa pinku ga sukide wa arimasen.” She dropped the decapitated doll on the ground as she then turned around and walked off to her guitar.

***

That night, after the show, they were all going to the greenroom for the aftershow hang/hook up. Murdoc did a happy little kick as he went to the fridge to pull out a beer. “Another one in the bag, fellas! Nhuh.” 

“I got five bras thrown at me tonight! I fink that's a record.” 2D giggled to himself as he grabbed a beer and pawed at Murdoc’s sleeve to get his attention then held his hand out, beggar style to the older man.

Murdoc sighed, pulled out and pulled out a couple white tablets that had been getting moist in his back pocket during the show and put them into 2D’s waiting hand. “They were aiming at me, Faceache! They all just had bad aim, birds these days, I tell ya...Nhuhun” Murdoc then handed his beer to Noodle who quickly raised it to her mouth to take a swig.

Russel grabbed the beer from Noodle’s hand before she had a chance to drink it and forced it back into Murdoc’s sweaty hand. “Come on man, child services are gonna be on our ass any day now.”

A security guard led a group of 12 giggling, beautiful, young people into the greenroom, they were all pushing to get in first, smiling and making all sorts of “Oooooo,” and “Ahhhh,” sounds.

The security guard, with a sly smile and wink to the ladies, said, “And here you go. I’ll be outside if you need any help.” 

Murdoc swaggered forward to the group and yelled, “I can take care of all of these by myself! Nhuhuhu.” 

Russel came over to 2D and nodded towards the group of groupies. “You good to let me go tonight D?” 

“Yeah, sure mate, enjoy yewrself. Took me pill already, so nothings getting up anyway.” 2D gave a gap toothed grin at Russel and sipped his beer. Two young women from the group came over grinning at the singer. 

“Hey, we’re sisters, and we are sooooooooo happy to meet you!” One of the girls said doing a little jump and squeal.

“Ello, luvs” 2D replied smiling.

The other girl squealed at him. “Oh, his accent is sooooooooo cute!” 

2D gave them another flirtatious smile. “Glad yew, fink so, but I’m outta commission tonight, yew should go see my pal Russ over there.” He jutted his chin towards Russel.

“I get the sisters!” Murdoc yelled while kneading one of the other groupies' asses. 

Russel walked in between Murdoc and the sisters, “Excuse me for my band mates antics. I’m Russel and what I lack in British accents I make up for in my smooth consistent drum beat.”

“Oooooooooooo!” Both girls said looking at each other, squealing and linking arms with Russel.

2D grinned at Russel going off with the girls and then looked around until he saw Noodle sitting on a chair holding her Gameboy. She wasn’t playing it, instead she was eyeing the party that she was excluded from and she was feeling melancholy about it.

2D came over to her and gently knocked on her radio helmet. “Hey there, Noodle, lets get outta here and go to the tour bus.”

Noodle said smiling and jumping off of the chair and running out of the room. “Hai!” 

2D, gave a last glance at the groupies, most of which Murdoc had surrounding him, and the techs that were grabbing food and on the lookout for any groupie who was unaccompanied.

As 2D slowly got out of the cacophony of the greenroom and went into the desolation of the backstage hallways he started to feel the Dilaudid kick in leaving him a bit spacey. What show was this? The 20th? 23? He couldn’t remember, he also couldn’t remember where the exit was to the tour bus. He started wandering around the hallways and passed a few techs that were cleaning up and they smiled at him.

“Good show!” They yelled at 2D and passed down some other hallway. After they were gone 2D realized he shoulda asked them where the exit was.  _ Ahhwell.  _ He kept wandering and then he heard some guy sweet-talking someone. Probably a tech and a wanna be groupie. He didn’t really want to interrupt that to ask for directions to the damn exit but then again, he was lost as fuck and he really needed to just sit and veg out for the rest of the night. It had been one hell of a day. He followed the voice.

“Watchya doing here all alone little girl? You're so pretty! Did you know your pretty? I bet no one ever told you that before. I bet I’m the first! Am I the first sweetheart?” 2D thought this was some weird flirting going on. He turned the corner and saw Noodle next to the promoter. He had her cornered and was crouching next to her, one hand out to stroke Noodle’s face.

2D’s blood boiled. “Oi! What the fack are yew doing? She’s a facking kid!” This is why he and Russel took turns making sure they watched Noodle after concerts. Damn, he shouldn't let her get away and then get lost himself. He was supposed to be watching for fack wads like this.

Noodle smiled evil at the man in front of her and kicked him in the private parts. 

“AAAAANNNNNNGGGTTTUUUUUHHHHH!” The man moaned, crumpling over and falling to the ground. Noodle then skipped over proudly to 2D. 

2D gave her a cheeky grin, “Oh, I forgot! Yew can take care of yewrself pretty well.” He smiled at her proudly and then bit his lip. “Uhhh, do yew know how to get out of ere? I need to sit down.” 

“Hai.” Noodle said running ahead but stopping impatiently at the end of the hall for the beanpole to catch up. She led him through the maze of corridors until they got outside into the ungodly cold night air and rushed to the comfort of the warm touring van for their post show tradition, of horror movies and popcorn.

2D put on Bram Stoker's Dracula and gracefully sank into the couch in the van’s living area while Noodle rushed around in the kitchen making popcorn. As Noodle came over with the popcorn 2D looked over at her. She was so small and childish. How could that guy have been hitting on her? She already had enough bullshit in her life, she didn’t deserve that shite on top of everything else.

_ She's got us three gits trying ta raise 'er, it must be 'ard for 'er. _

2D sighed and said to her, “Yew make sure if anyone ever does anyfing like that to yew again Noods, yew kick them in the sweetmeats, just like yew did. No one should ever do that to yew. Yew are a bad bitch, like Tank Girl, and yew shouldn’t be abused by nobody.” 2D’s fuzzy brain made some feeble comment to him about how he shouldn’t be abused by anyone either but he pushed that down, deep inside.

Noodle looked like she wanted to say something, but the language barrier seemed to stop her so she resigned to saying “Hai.”


	5. Squirt Gun Race

A couple years later Noodle had picked up some words from her band mates, mostly curse words, but overall she was severely lacking in communication with her companions. She could understand what they were saying pretty well but she wasn’t able easily speak back to them and this was becoming frustrating. She was thinking about this piss off in her life while doing a sound check onstage for this year's tour when she suddenly experienced a gut wrenching pain. It came out of nowhere and it felt like someone stabbed her with a knife in her crotch and started twisting it around.

“Augggg” She moaned in shock as she dropped her pick.

Murdoc glanced at her and growled, “What the fuck is wrong with you?” Among his many faults, he was also a strict perfectionist and anything that interrupted their process needed to be exterminated.

Noodle didn’t know what was wrong, other than she felt sick to her stomach, she said “Barf...” while moaning and holding her stomach.

Murdoc came at her hands trying to shoo her off stage. “Well get the fack out of here then! This shit is expensive! Y’know!?” 

Russel got up from his drum kit and came towards Noodle. “You okay Baby Girl?”

Noodle hurried to put down her guitar and started running off stage.

“Well, I fink it's time for a break…” 2D said dreamily wandering off to the greenroom to Voidout.

Every couple of seconds Noodle felt that knife in her guts twist again and it caused her to let out a small gasp of pain. She had to be dying, why else would this be happening! She got into the bathroom backstage and locked the door, making it to the toilet just in time to throw up. Holding on to the cool porcelain, she felt the knife dig into her belly again. Was this the end? 11, barfing in a toilet with her belly getting stabbed. She tried to massage her stomach with the flat of her hand but it didn’t seem to help. She felt very wet between her legs, like she peed herself. She managed to stand up and lower her pants, which she saw to her horror had blood all over them. She touched the blood with her right hand to really see if it was blood. It was.  _ This was it. The end was nigh.  _

She jumped as someone knocked on the bathroom door. “You okay Baby Girl?” 

Might as well tell Russel she was dying. Someone should know. She pulled her pants up and with her left hand opened the bathroom door. With tears pouring down her face she showed Russel her bloody right hand. 

“What did you do to yourself Noodle!” Russel shouted at her.

She pointed to her hips and moaned with another spasm of pain. “Here!”

Russel squinted at her and shook his head.“What? Baby Girl, is this your period?”

_ MAYBE IT WAS!  _ She had been so sure she was dying she never stopped to question that it might just be her period! “Totemo itai! Takusan no chi ga arimasu! Watashi wa nani o shimasu ka!?”

Russel put his hands up to shush her, “Do you remember hurting yourself in any other way recently?”

Noodle shook her head. “Bangō...”

Russel smiled at her, “So it's probably your period and you're going to be okay.” 

Noodle started to cry with relief and opened her arms to hug Russel.

Russel put a hand out to stop her “Hold on there, wash your hands Baby Girl.” Noodle looked embarrassed and started washing her hands while Russel tried to think about a situation he never wanted to think about. “Well you need some of those, uh, sanitary napkins or sumthin… I dunno, damn it. Uhh, I’ll go see if I can buy some…”

“Watashi o hitori ni shinaide kudasai! Kore ni tsuite dōsureba ī no ka wakarimasen!?” Noodle was upset this was happening and didn’t want the only person she felt comfortable with about this sort of thing to leave her alone. 

Russel stared at her with exasperation. “I can’t understand you Baby Girl.”

Noodle tried again, “No---leave.”

“Unless you want me to ask Murdoc to go buy you pads, I gotta go. We need this taken care of before the show starts.”

Noodle bit her lip and nodded slowly. “Get---right size.”

Russel looked at her shrugging and shaking his head. “I’m not sure what that would be…”

Noodle sighed and shrugged.

Russel rubbed Noodle’s head with his hand and then started to get ready to leave. “You got this, just take it easy till I get back. Maybe you should go to the bus and rest. I’ll meet you there.” 

Noodle nodded and once Russel had left the bathroom doorway Noodle tried to clean herself up. She wiped up the majority of the blood and wadded up a large amount of toilet paper which she put in her underwear as a makeshift pad. Making sure the coast was clear she started to walk with halting awkward steps to the bus, all the while feeling dirtier than she ever had before in her life. 

Murdoc’s voice started yelling out at her from one of the many hallways behind the stage. “If you're done throwing up get back here.” Noodle shook her head and moved away from him faster. “You think just because you feel a bit woozy you can take off!? Come here you little ragamuffin!” Murdoc started to come after her. She started to run. He started to run. 

Noodle could out run Murdoc any day, even if she did have half a toilet paper roll in her pants. If only 2D would run away when Murdoc was after him he wouldn’t need to get hurt all the time. Noodle chuckled to herself as she ran thinking of 2D tripping with his pill induced distortion and his smoker lungs wheezing as he tried to out run Murdoc who would be tripping and panting behind him with his alcohol induced disorientation and equally messed up smoker lungs.

As expected Murdoc was soon gasping behind her as he shouted at her. “Get back ‘ere you ungrateful little twirp!”

Noodle kept going until she got to the bus feeling a sudden overwhelming sadness encompassing her. W _ hy did Murdoc have to be so mean to her!? He was always mean! What a meanie, mean, mean head! She was crying again. Why did she feel so emotional!? _

***

_ One for the pain _

_ One for the comedy _

_ Two for the bloody rag _

_ Pretty soon it’s gonna be _

“Yo not now, I gotta read these labels… Damn this print is too small!” 

Russel stood in the Feminine Hygiene section of the drug store, squinting at the products on the shelves.

“EXCUSE ME, young man!” an elderly lady’s voice came from behind him, making him jump. Russle moved to the side quickly.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t see you there.” He noticed her scowl lines first, and her kind eyes second.

Tampax, tampons, cramp-pills and strap ons….

“I SAID NOT NOW DEL!” Russel shouted, forgetting the old lady couldn’t also hear Del.

The old lady shrugged and held out her hand. “Oh it’s no bother, I’m waiting for Homer to pick up his Synthanthropoid anyway, I’m not busy. My name’s Bernice, not Del. So who are you shopping for? Wife or daughter?”

Russel flushed with embarrassment, as well as a quick shot of relief that the old lady hadn’t reacted to his outburst. He shook her hand.

“Oh… uh… neither, actually. Nice to meet you, I’m ( _ Russel Tussle in your Bussle _ ) Russle. Just looking for a… friend. Coworker? We’re in a band.”

The old lady looked pleased with this and turned her attention back toward the unmentionable accommodations on the shelf. “Oh is that right? My Homer plays the gut-bucket for the Jug Band at the Rotary club! What kind of music do you play?”

_ We rock the house and burn it down _

_ Sift through the ashes til your body’s found _

“Oh, this and that.”

“That’s nice. Well, here. I used to use these. If you’re not sure, get a few sizes, can’t go wrong that way.” The old lady handed a few packages to Russel and bid farewell. She moved out and made for the pharmacy counter, blowing her bugle all the way... “HOMER!!! Don’t let them keep you waiting, you march right up and DEMAND YOUR SYNTHANTHROPOID from that young man behind the counter, remember we have to be at Ethel’s house before……”

Russel made a mental note to thank Del later for not making this sojourn too difficult, considering old ladies were among his favorite targets for mayhem.

_ Tick tock, hit the block, get back to base before she pop _

Russel felt the beat of his shoes against the sidewalk outside and heard it echo in bass and high-hat somewhere in the depths of his mind as he made his way back to the studio.

***

Noodle got into the bus panting and feeling the stabbing pain grinding away at her. Looking up, she saw 2D with a mug in his hands that said Keep Smiling on one side and had a grinning skull on the other. “Oh, there yew are.” He said dreamily.

Noodle really did not want to see 2D at the moment, she felt weird having on soiled pants with a wad of toilet paper in them and was worried that the toilet paper was slipping out of position from her running. “Kon'nichiwa Too Dee...”

2D handed her the mug giving his gentle smile. “Russ said yew weren’t feeling good, so I figured I should give yew some peppermint tea.”

Noodle grabbed the cup and her brain short circuited, making her sob harder.

“Ummm, sorry, if I offended yew…” 2D said cringing and nervously twiddling his fingers.

“Nicest… Thing… Anyone… Ever… Done...” Noodle sobbed.

“Pretty sure it’s not… but okay…. Ummm…. Hope yew get better….” 2D said wandering off of the bus and back to the venue.

Noodle changed into some new pants and underwear and then sat on the couch, sipping her tea, crying and dealing with the painful spasms.

Soon Russel got into the bus. “Hey Baby Girl, got you the goods!”

Noodle rushed to open open bus door as Russel brought in several bags worth of stuff. He upended them on to the kitchen table spilling out a treasure trove of menstrual goods.

“Got one of each size!” Russel said proudly. “Plus I got you some pain pills, not D’s kind, and some dark chocolate.”

Noodle burst into tears again. “Nicest… Thing… Anyone… Ever… Done...! Everyone… Nice... even Murdoc.” 

“Awww Baby, this is really messing you up to think Murdoc is nice...” Russel gave her a hug. “It’s gonna be okay, deep breaths. Breath with me…. In… Hold… Out…” Noodle took a deep breath and started to calm down.

Russel looked at her. “I do not know how you do this, so ummm, ask the internet if you have any questions, okay?” Noodle nodded and Russel kissed the top of her head and left. 

Noodle took one of the pills with her tea, and deciding that bigger was better than smaller, she grabbed the largest size pad and put it on her underwear. She felt like she had on a diaper but at least she wasn’t going to bleed on herself now.

***

As the latest Gorillaz first tour finished Noodle was getting frustrated. She had been with these three nutcases for three years in this dysfunctional family and she was pretty confused about her lot in life. 

While Russel and 2D tried to be good parental figures in her life they both had their own problems and neither one was really ready to help her with some of the things she needed, such as learning to communicate better or find out about her past or really any form of education. She didn’t remember anything about her life before appearing in Kong Studio and she desperately wanted to. Her bandmates were all she had and while she did love them each, mostly because she didn’t have anyone else to love, but she wanted to know if she had real parents who could look after her.

She found that she was fantasizing about Japan more and more. To be able talk to people without the language barrier. Finding her parents and having a normal family! She bet she had a pretty mom and her dad was probably a doctor!

The band members were all getting up in the bus the morning after their last show and Murdoc, Russel and 2D were all grabbing cereal as Noodle walked over and stated slowly and confidently her intentions. “I. Go. Japan.” All three men looked shocked.

Russel took a deep swallow, collecting himself first. “If that's what you want Baby Girl. You do you.”

Murdoc banged his hands on the table and growled “You can’t leave the band! We’ve got a good thing going and you can’t just leave and muck it all up!”

Russel looked towards Murdoc, “I won’t let you stop her Muds, she can do whatever she wants! We don’t know anything about her! She might have a family that has been looking for her all this time...”

2D gave her a sad, but sweet, little smile. “I’ll miss yew. I ‘ope you have lots of fun in Japan!”

Noodle nodded and smiled giving a little giddy jump. She had the blessings of her favorite band members and she was going to go to Japan!

***

The band made it to Los Angeles where they sent Noodle off on her way to Japan after a tearful goodbye from Russel and 2D and a tight group hug, which even included an unwilling Murdoc. 

Once Noodle was gone the three musicians got a hotel and started trying to peruse one of Murdoc's crazy dreams, getting a TV show. Murdoc had no trouble getting meetings for people to look at his show scripts since their recent stardom from the success of their first album was opening up some doors but the musicians were getting huffy with each other.

During one meeting in a conference room at a hotel, three strict looking producers were looking at a script Murdoc had put together as Murdoc talked them through it with a lot of exaggerated hand gestures. “So, this will lead to ME, yeah, your handsome star, having one woman of every ethnicity surrounding me, right? Really a... multicultural-- inclusive-- diverse vibe, yeah? And as I smell each one, yknow, in turn, there will be a woman, beautiful-- blonde-- like Venus in that Adventures of Baron Munchausen-- had Uma by the way, nhuh-uh-- on a sex swing, above me, sort of, y’know, swinging in great, arcing circles around the room, just shitting on everyone! It will be edgy, y'know!? Gratuitous sex! Nhuh. The kids’ll just go bananas over this one…” The producers all looked somewhat appalled and mildly scared.

2D, who had a placid grin on his face, put in his two cents. “I fink we should ‘ave a scene where we’re cuddling a bunch of guinea pigs, but then they turn in to zombie guinea pigs and we have to smash their li’le brains out wif ‘ammers…”

Murdoc turned around staring daggers at 2D, “What kind of dumb facking idea is that Stu-pot!?”

2D shrugged, “I fought dumb ideas was what we was doin’…”

The producers were collecting their papers and quickly moving to leave, one skittish woman looked up with a smile plastered on her face. “We don’t really think this is the direction we want to go in… Thank you for your time!” They all proceeded to exit as quickly as they could.

Murdoc smiled wanly back at them and waited until the door closed. Then he took a deep sigh as he slowly and deliberately turned to 2D. “THIS IS YOUR FACKING FAULT!!! THEY HATED YOUR BLOODY IDEA!!!!”

2D assumed the position to be beaten, hands over his head. “‘M sorry Muds!” Murdoc jumped towards 2D, clammy green fingers going for his neck which 2D’s pill-delayed reflexes couldn’t stop as he squaked. “Muds!”

“I’ll make you facking sorry! YOU WASTE OF SPACE!” Murdoc proceeded to put all of his boozed up strength, repressed feelings of self hatred and father issues into strangling 2D.

2D subdued mind was racing as fast as it could as he scrabbled at Murdoc’s clammy hands around his throat and muttering out in tiny gasps. “Guaaakkk---Muds---Please---Muds!!!”

_ POW! _

Suddenly a large black fist hit Murdoc in the side of the head causing him to release 2D. Russel was yelling at Murdoc. “Muds! What the hell are you doing!”

Something clicked in 2D’s muted brains, he didn’t want to be here, so why didn’t he just leave? As Russel was yelling at Murdoc, 2D got up gasping and coughing and started to stumble out of the room. 2D started to quickly move through hotel hallways not knowing where he was going, just knowing he wanted to never see Murdoc again. 

He soon found a hallway with a bunch of well dressed people holding drinks. 2D figured he could try and blend in with this group to hide, as much as a tall blue haired gangly man in street clothes could blend in.

Awkwardly trying to just think about what happened 2D found a set dinner table and sat down. A pretty woman in her mid 50s spotted him and wandered over smiling. “Are you here for the Free Tibet Charity Gala?”

“‘M ‘ere cause I’m tired of being abused!” 2D said rubbing his neck which was starting to get fingerprint bruises.

“So is Tibet! My name is Britt Ekland.” The woman stuck out her hand.

2D shook it looking at her in aw. “Yew were in The Wicker Man!”

Britt smiled at the dashing young fellow who recognized her. “Yes, and you don’t seem to have a drink, follow me, it’s an open bar.”

***

Russel didn’t try to inhale the warm, sticky Los Angeles night air, but it invaded his nostrils regardless as he made his way out of the hotel. He figured a nice walk around the block would take his mind off the recent struggle of trying to stop Murdoc from killing D once and for all. He’d bopped Muds once to get him to release D, then a couple more time to try to get the lesson to sink in a bit, at least until Murdoc’s next drug binge wiped the slate clean.

Monsters don’t learn, they only beg and plead

Wait until you’re out the door, make your brothers bleed

Del had a point. Nothing would really change, as long as Murdoc was “under contract,” as that slimy mother Swan put it in Phantom of the Paradise. Russel liked to watch the movies D and Noodle put on sometimes; that boy had his faults, but he sure managed to have a good taste for the arts, somehow.

Child-like in nature, nature’s art preserves

Beautiful at the start, like all life deserves

His feet started to wander him down to a deserted alley and he decided that it would be as good a time as any to have some weed and try to forget about the sadistic-masochistic Satanist in his life. As he lit up, he pondered about what Noodle might be up to, on her great adventure to her homeland. He hoped she had found a good home with real, loving parents. He wondered if she would ever contact him, let him know how she was doing. He never wanted kids of his own, but damn if he didn’t feel like she was his daughter.

BEEEEWOOOP. A police car, with it’s aggressive lights pulled up to the end of the alley and 2 cops jumped out, guns pointed at Russel. “HANDS IN THE AIR! NOW!”

Russel muttered to himself, “You’ve got to mutherfucking be kidding me…” He was nervous and raised his hands up-- too quickly. POP POP POP

He didn’t really know what happened at first when he heard the cops shouting at each other, “He looked angry and he was moving quickly, I thought he had a gun!”

“Yeah I saw it too!”

The pain was hitting Russel as he felt panic take over. He was on the cold wet ground trying to hold on. America, shit like this happens in America…

America the beautiful, wrecked and raw

Greatest city on the hill, you hear the Sirens’ call

Is this what it felt like, Del? 

No…. with you it was war… This is just… a game...

A cop was looking him over, “Jesus, Daniels. Been at the range a lot lately, huh? What was that, thirty yards?”

“We should call the medics. I thought he had a gun. Can’t be too careful, we could have been in danger.”

Russel felt himself fading. Did he really have this shitty of a life just to be shot for no fucking reason!? This was bullshit. Life was bullshit.

_ It ain’t over til the fat lady sings _

_ Diamonds on her handbag and shiny gold rings _

“I don’t know man…. This don’t feel right…” Russel normally loved Del’s positivity, but there was such a thing as being overly optimistic.

One of the cops thought Russ was talking to them. “What’s that there, guy? Sorry. Look don’t worry, Officer Gormly called it in, an ambulance will be here soon. Hold tight.”

_ What’s that green light falling up from the pavement _

_ Smoke rising through the cracks, a cold wind wavering _

Russ could feel it too. Familiar, in the way you remember an old nightmare in the middle of a new one. A hooded figure strode, business-like, head down and hands in pockets, toward the two cops and Russell. The cops continued looking down at their fallen protectorate, chatting casually about paperwork and paid administrative leave. They didn’t notice as the hooded figure approached Russell.

_ Here we go again down the only road we’ve travelled _

_ Bitin’ on the dust and the gritty red gravel _

_ Blood flows, flowers grow, cut ‘em before they bloom _

_ Eat the corpses of your friends, here comes your doom _

“What… No, I… I’m not dead yet, am I? Del! Del, tell him I’m still alive!”

“Yeah, ok, hold tight there buddy, they’re ah… They’re on their way…”

The hooded figure moved through the two cops as they stood over Russel. It bent down toward him, blocking the sodium street lamp’s salmon-colored light. As the spirit’s hooded head filled Russel’s quickly dimming vision, a cruel, cold light seemed to illuminate its face. Russel didn’t need to ask what it wanted. What it wanted was Everything.

“But I’m… I’m not… Shit. Maybe I am dead. Fuck, man, that’s… That’s cold.”

_ Not gonna lie, brother, this a tight spot _

_ In for a dollar, out for a shot, GET UP! _

Russel felt the sensation of a bullet entering his body, but in reverse. He saw Del, the Funky Homosapien, eject him-Funky-self out of Russel’s Inner Being like a shot. The Grim Reaper had not anticipated this turn of events, and was blown bodily off its feet and onto the ground behind the two cops, who seemed to have moved onto the topic of how their kids were doing.

The Spirit of Del took advantage of his initiative and bum-rushed Death. Death was not happy about this. A searing pain struck the ear drums of all present as Death cried out in its fury. The two cops looked over toward the Ambulance that had just arrived, and Officer Gormly gestured frantically for the driver to shut off the siren. The driver shrugged with increasing effort at Gormly’s escalating ire, the siren having already been shut off.

_ Not fair not fair say all the little kids _

_ A soul for a soul, ‘til of thee we be rid _

Russel could only watch as Del and Death wrestled, each trying to grab the other’s Piece, hands grabbing wrists, knees on throats, neither wanting to admit defeat though both had died long, long ago. Russ wanted to shout to Del to come back, don’t sacrifice yourself, my time has come, but he could no longer shout, and it was using all the strength Russel had left just to keep breathing as the paramedics pushed the cops aside and began working their magic.

***

After strangling 2D, and having his face beaten to a pulp by Russel, Murdoc felt like now would be a good time to get drunk. He found himself wandering down to the bottom of the hotel and into a dark, atmospheric bar with a lot of fancy stained glass lights, the kinda place you didn’t get into bar fights. Giving the bartender a grin, with his blood stained face, Murdoc growled out his order. “Wwhhhhhhisky!!!”

“MURDOC!!!! You finally decided to come to your meeting!”

Murdoc swung his head around trying to find the person talking to him. When looking down saw a three foot tall man with greasy shoulder length hair and a beard but most importantly the smaller man had an upside down cross on his chest.

“Meeting, nhuh, I didn’t remember any meetings… Who are you, mate? Did the man down stairs send you?”

The man looked incredulous, “It's me! Jimmy Manson! I'm the head of your label here in America! More importantly I’m head of your fan club!!! We were supposed to meet up here so I could take you to the Satanic Mass tonight!!!

Murdoc slapped his head with his hand. How could he have forgotten about this!? Well it was truly a work of Satan that he wandered down here anyway, maybe some religion would help with his turmoil. “Satanic Mass! It’s been a while since I had a chance to do one of those!”

The small man grinned as he jumped up, with surprising grace, onto the high bar stool. “And we were hoping you would lead us tonight in the Ave Satan...”

“Well, how could I refuse such an honor? Nhuh…. Will there be an orgy after the ceremonies?”

“Is Marc Almond a Satanist?! Of course! In fact we were going to go down to a brothel on the border, spread a little fiery love down south…”

“Now that is a brilliant idea!” Murdoc grinned downing his whiskey. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end of Phase 1! Now on to Phase 2! Got this story written out until the end of Phase 3 and what has already been posted is 1/4 of what I've written. I still am cleaning up the other stuff but I will post it eventually. If you liked the story, or hated it, please give me a comment about something that stuck out as particularly good, or bad. Really means a lot to me. Thanks for reading :D


	6. Haunted Ride (Phase Two)

Noodle had just gotten out of the airport in Osaka and she had no clue what she was doing. No ideas on where to start looking to find her family and she was feeling a little overwhelmed when Russel’s steady calm voice popped into her head, “Have you eaten Baby Girl? No, that Reeses don’t count.” Yeah food would be a good idea. She wandered down the street until she found her way to a sushi bar. She adored taking in all the people talking in a language she could actually understand and it filled her with excitement and hope. She could do this. She could find her real family!

She wandered into the sushi bar taking in all the sights and sounds and not looking where she was going. Suddenly she walked into a flustered waiter. She bounced back with a start an apology on the tip of her tongue when he shouted over his shoulder to the chef for an order of “Ocean Bacon”

Noodle life shattered.

She found herself screaming as the first 8 years of her life came back to her. She wasn’t a little girl with a family that had somehow gotten lost in a FedEx crate that was sent to 3 ill-equipped blokes. 

No, her story was much stranger, she was 1 of 23 genetically modified children that were raised and trained to be super soldiers by the Japanese Government. She found her mind now had the ability to understand every known language and intimate knowledge of how to use every type of weapon on the planet. She was a machine built for destruction!

The chef of the restaurant, a sallow looking man in his 60s, stuck his head out of the back room to see why someone was making a ruckus and he saw Noodle grabbing her head and screaming. He quickly came out, put a hand on her shoulder and guided her to a small and secluded storage room at the back of the restaurant. Staring at her he asked, “15-san, do you know who I am?”

Noodle looked up at him in shock. “Your Mr. Kyuzo-san! You are the man who was incharge of my unit! You taught me.”

Mr. Kyuzo nodded looking at her seriously “Yes and your memories were locked away for your own protection just waiting for the keywords!” He shook his head at whoever had ordered the Ocean Bacon. He had thought that was a strange enough phrase that no one would ever accidentally say it, much less in front of the girl he saved. “Do you know why I sent you away?”

Noodle thought to herself. All she could remember was Kyuzo hugging her and telling her Ocean Bacon. “No, why did you send me away!? Was I not good enough for the team?”

Mr. Kyuzo smiled at her sadly and fondly. “No, 15-san, you were always exemplary. The team was scrapped. The Japanese Government felt that it was too immoral and dangerous to raise children in such a way. They ordered the extermination of all 23 of the team members.”

Noodle’s eyes went huge as she shook her head in shock. “But you saved us!”

Mr. Kyuzo looked away from her. “I saved you. I did not think I could get away with saving all of the children. You were always my favorite. I taught you the guitar…"  Mr. Kyuzo swallowed and closed his eyes. "I packed you away in that crate with the guitar and hoped I would never see you again.”

Noodle felt like the floor was swallowing her up whole. Everything she had imagined about her normal family was wrong and all the children she suddenly remembered having been raised with were dead. “The others… Never made it… I’m the only one?”

Mr. Kyuzo looked at her sadly. “Yes 15-san. I am sorry.”

Noodle nodded and tried to pull herself together as she felt unnaturally numb. “I don’t have a family… I just have….. you…”

Mr. Kyuzo nodded. “And you can’t stay with me. I had heard about a place called Kong Studio, in England, that was looking for a guitarist. I figured that would be far enough away and, I thought you might prove yourself to be capable in that band. I had hoped you might eventually have a family and a normal life.”

Noodle laughed at the hilarity of the family she had. “I did get a family, of sorts…”

Mr. Kyuzo smiled at her. “I am glad you are okay. You have your memories, I’m not sure that is for the best, but I’m also not sure that being a blank slate is for the best either. Now, you can’t stay here, there is no home for you here. Go back. Go be with your family.”

Noodle sighed, this isn’t what she had wanted or hoped for, but this is what she got. At least she knew her past now, even if she didn’t like it. Might as well go back to the only semi-normal home she ever had. Kong Studio.

“Thank you for saving my life Kyuzo-San.” Noodle said with a little bow.

“15-San, I wish you all the happiness in the world.” Kyuzo smiled at her.

Noodle looked up at him and smiled. “My name is Noodle.”

***

Noodle was excited her whole ride back to get back to her band. She could speak English! She could talk to them! Really talk! She could tell them about her crazy past and really interact with them. She wondered what they had been up to while she was gone. If there was one thing she could bet on, it was that they had stirred up some trouble since she saw them last.

As she got out of the taxi at the gate of the large fenced in graveyard surrounding Kong Studio she noticed the building was dark, and eerily silent. Either the band was somewhere else or they had all slept in. She was betting on them sleeping in as it was still only 3pm. She giggled to herself as thought about surprising the band she went down the gravel path towards Kong Studio.

She came to the heavy metal doors to the studio and cautiously opened them. As the doors swung open she took in the dark dingy hallway and her nose was accosted by a stench of putrid rotting meat and dirt. She wrinkled her nose in disgust. Living with three guys left her pretty accustomed to some truly terrible smells but rotting meat was a new scent for them. Noodle called cautiously into the dark depths. “Gorillaz?”

“Nuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhh…..” A long, deep, undead, groan greeted her ears as she saw masses of undead slowly coming out of the cement work towards her. Dead bodies started to slowly lumber, some walking, some crawling. All the zombies that usually wandered the grounds had holed up into Kong Studio!

Noodle gasped and quickly slamming the door behind her and leaned against it giving herself a minute to think about her luck! She was built to be a killing machine and on top of that she had been playing zombie killing games forever and now she had a whole, huge building to herself that she could clean out. She just hoped her bandmates weren’t in the building when the zombies decided to storm the building. She bit her lip in worry. She hoped they hadn’t been zombified and were mucking around in there with the other dead… She steeled herself. She knew what she had to do. If her friends had been zombified someone had to kill them and it would be best that it was someone who cared about them.

***

Several action packed years later Noodle had cleaned out Kong Studio of all it’s undead inhabitants all by herself. Having come to England unprepared Noodle didn’t have a gun, but that was okay with her. She karatied her way into Kong Studio and got to her room where she retrieved her katana and started to slice heads off with reckless abandon. Mostly she just used her sword to but occasionally she would make a molotov cocktail or two, just to keep things exciting. 

She worked clean, checking all of her recent kills to see if any were her bandmates and then dragging them out of the building and to a section of the graveyard where she would light epic funeral pyre nightly, usually while dining on a can of cold soup she found in the pantry. 

As she basked in the warm glow, trying to stay upwind of the burnt hair smell, she would often reminisce about how nice it had been to have her bandmates, friends, family with her. She missed Russel looking after her, she really didn’t need to be looked after now that she had unlocked her memories and was completely capable of taking care of herself, but still she missed him and the feeling of security she felt with him being near her. 

She knew 2D would be having a field day with all the zombies. He would probably want to try and kill some with her. She decided it was for the best he wasn’t her because he would probably just end up slicing his hand off if she gave him a sword. Still, she missed his placid, friendly smile and him asking if she wanted to watch a movie or play a game wif him or when they would jam together. 

She even missed Murdoc, there was something comforting in having him just get things together, like recording, touring and interviews. In the end she missed the old bastard.

When she was finally done clearing out the undead from Kong Studio and had it all to herself she tried to clean it up a little, and make it livable again. She was always burning some incense to cover the smell of rotting corpses which refused to clear out even after she had removed all the rotting body parts she could find.

Since she had made sure her family wasn't part of the undead, she decided they were probably out somewhere in the world and she desperately wanted them to come back so things could go back to being as normal as possible for the band and that meant making an album!

Noodle didn’t want to just wait for Murdoc to write some drabble. She wanted to write an album this time about things that were important to her. No things that were important to her generation! She had the chutzpah, the passion and moxy. She could do this and once she wrote the album that would bring them back together!

***

It was 2 years after Gorillaz had disbanded and Russel was in Ike Turner’s basement. This is where Russel had been for most of the last three years. Since losing Del his brain had been attacked, repeatedly by demons. It was as if the gap that Del left wanted to be filled and it was driving Russel into a deep and dark depression that kept him in his bed most days. When he did get up enough to do something he would try to make music, only to have more damned demons attack with renewed vigor terrorizing him and leaving him a shattering wreck. This cycle just kept going around and around driving him crazy. Then, one day, he got a text.

Russ-san! It’s Noodle! I’m at Kong Studios! I can speak English and miss you! I’ve been writing an album and I want your help!

It was like someone stabbed him in the arm with red hot motivation. Leaving his dark cycle of loneliness sounded great. To make with his band might help keep the demons at bay. He texted back without a second thought.

_ Baby Girl, I’ll be right over! _

  
  


***

Britt Ekland had been enchanting to 2D. She was nice and gave him a place to crash, in multiple ways, but he eventually got tired of her running around naked and banging on walls not letting him get any sleep. Wanting to move on 2D decided to use his minor celebrity to pursue his interest in the Free Tibet movement and went to Tibet to sit in silent protest. As he always had an interest in Buddhism he took time to travel and study around Tibet. 

He loved this time but eventually found he wanted to get back to good ol’ England and he found himself back home with his parents. He got a good thing going there, getting a few pain pills a day from his mum, and working at his dad's fun fair. 2D spent several enjoyable years working there during the day and hooking up with pretty fair goers at night. He even took some night courses in law. It wasn’t a long term plan and it didn’t fill him with joie de vivre, but it wasn’t bad either.

***

2D had finished checking everyone had their seat belts locked on the Swinging Pirate Ship ride and had gone over to the controls and hit the big red start button when he got a text from Noodle.

_ Too Dee! This is Noodle! I finally found a number for you! I’ve been at Kong Studio and I’m getting the band back together! I’ve written an album I would like you to sing on it!  _

2D suddenly felt simultaneously excited, nervous and stressed. He was conflicted, he liked making music and being with Russel and Noodle was fun, but Murdoc… Plus he always thought of himself as expendable when it came to the quality of the band. He texted back:

Noods! I missed you! You can type English! I’m glad to hear from you, but I don’t think you really need me in the band. Muds was always saying I was a shite singer. You can find a better one. 

2D put his phone down and went back to watching his ride, which currently had a woman screaming that she was going to die because of how scared she was. He smiled at her but he did not stop the ride for her. People shouting at him to stop the ride early happened at least five times a day. 

Then his phone rang and he picked it up seeing Noodle’s number. He grinned to himself and turned around, leaning against the control box while he spoke. “Ello!”

A thick Japanese voice that spoke English greeted him. “Too Dee! I’m so glad to hear your voice! It’s been too long!”

“Noods! I’m glad to ‘ear from yew! Yew can speak English!”

“Yes! I found out my past! I was made to be a genetically modified fighting machine by the Japanese Government! 

2D, not one to question things, took this information in stride. “So that's why yew always beat me in shooters!”

Noodle giggled. She had been so lonely and Kong Studio and missed talking to someone, anyone, but especially 2D with his silly straightforwardness. “Too Dee, you should come to Kong Studio…”

2D scuffed his shoe on the metal platform he was on, distantly he thought he was hearing more screaming than normal from the ride, but he had more important things to think about. “I wasn’t a good singer, Muds always said so…”

A hard edge entered Noodle’s voice. “Muds said that because he just liked to put you down. We never would have made it if we didn’t have you singing! Your voice made us!”

2D tried to mull this over but he wished the people on the ride would stop yelling so much! He was having a conversation. “Naw luv, I wasn’t that important…”

“Yes you were! Don’t you remember all the groupies you had!? I remember them! They wouldn’t have liked you if you were a shit singer!”

2D grinned remembering the groupies. He definitely had a lot of those… The funfair hook ups paled in comparison. “Yew really fink I was a good singer? Yew really want me ta sing on yewr album? Yewr calling the shots, so yew can get anyone…” Back still turned to the ride 2D missed seeing several people throw up while high up in the air and the vomit free falling to cover the rest of the boat riders.

“Yes!!! You're the only one I want to sing these songs! Plus play the keys!” 

2D was smiled from ear to ear. “Okay Noods, I’ll come!” He finally looked behind him and saw the ride he had been running had a bunch of very unhappy, vomit covered people. “Awww fack, I gotta go, see yew soon Noods.” 2D quickly slammed the stop button. 

As the never ending vomit ride finally came to a stop one small child screamed out “AGAIN!” 

2D sighed, well he would be fired for this, good thing he would be going to Kong Studios.

***

Murdoc was first to arrive at Kong Studios. Noodle hadn’t even reached out to him, and she wasn’t really sure she was going to considering how much he would abuse 2D, but there he was at the front door looking down the hall at Noodle. He had a shiny raven on his shoulder which cawed a hello while Murdoc greeted Noodle. “Who the fack are you?”

Noodle smiled at the older man. “Do you not remember me Murdoc?” 

Murdoc squinted at her with his miscolored eyes, which then opened up wide in recognition. “Noodle!? What the hell happened to you? You're bigger and  _ talking _ ! I don’t like this one bit…”

Noodle was not impressed with the sass. “I’m happy to see you too Murdoc, it’s been 3 years and I grew up, I’m 14.”

Murdoc sighed and shouldered past her. “We’ll I’m glad I didn’t have to go find you. You could have cleaned up the mess in here…” Murdoc kicked some old cans and candy wrappers to the side while he started for the elevator. “And it smells girly in here, burn something good like patchouli. Nhuh…”

The demon boy, who was exactly the same as three years ago came stumbling after Murdoc, carrying Murdoc's bass which was three times his size, above his head.

Noodle ignored the last comment and instead nodded at the demon who nodded back at her with a grin and a flick of his long tongue. "You got taller! Wish I could grow a few, being this small and immortal sucks!"

Noodle giggled and grabbed the bass from the small boy and started to catch up to Murdoc as she checked out the raven which looked back at her quizzically with a dark intelligent eye, and said in a perfect imitation of Murdoc's voice, "Fancy a bit of the old in and out love? Nhuh!"

Noodle shuddered at the thought of how the bird learned that. “Where did you get the raven?”

“I got the bird while I was doing the bird! Nhuuuhh. I’ve just escaped being imprisoned, and noooooo, I didn’t give bad checks to prostitutes…. No… No, that would be wrong! Nhuh… Anyway Cortez here,” He motioned to his raven, which squaked at being pointed at. “was my mate while I got my degree!” Murdoc got in the elevator.

Noodle quickly followed him in before he could close the elevator doors on her and stared at Murdoc. “You have a degree?”

“Yeah, while I was doing my time I took an open university course  _ Amateur Administration of Pharmaceutical Medicines _ . I passed with flying colors, especially the parts about use of opioids and narcotics, y’know? You now have to call me, Doooooccttttooorrrrrrr Niccollllls!” He struck a dashing pose, hands in the air. Cortez lifted up his wings to show off too. Seeing Noodle, not groveling in worship, Murdoc's face fell and he scowled at her as the elevator dinged to a stop and the doors opened up. Murdoc strutting to his Winnebago calling back to Noodle. “So, be a love and get me a beer.”

Noodle shook her head and caught up to Murdoc before he reached the Winnebago. “Actually, I’ve been here for awhile. I’ve laid out an album.”

“Oh have you now!?” Murdoc stopped and turned to her and grinned deviously, “That will make some fast cash! We must assemble the rest of  _ the band _ !”

Noodle sighed. “I have already reached out to them and they are on their way here.”

Murdoc gave her a small smile and climbed into his Winnebago with the demon boy following close behind. Noodle handed the demon the bass as Murdoc turned around and gave Noodle a condescending pat on the head. “Good job Noodle, love, couldn’t a done it without you. Now bugger off. I’m going to get plastered on something other than toilet moonshine tonight!” Then he slammed the door closed behind him.

Noodle huffed as she heard him put on some Black Sabbath at ear shattering sound levels. “I did it without you… I didn’t even get to tell you about the zombies…” 

***

A few hours later Noodle was cracking open a can of pea soup when she heard the front door open and started running to see who was there and she saw her two favorite people smiling at her both yelling; "Noodle!"

“Russ! Too Dee!” She got a good ménage à hug going, smelling their familiar scents a mixture of clean linen, cigars, cigarette and butterscotch that somehow blended together and made her feel happy and safe. “I missed you both so much!”

Russel was grinning at her “Baby Girl! You grew so much! How are you!?”

Noodle grinned jumping up and down excitedly, “Great now that you guys are back! I have so much to tell you!”

2D was smiling too and bobbing his head with excitement. “We can talk wif yew!”

Russel asked, “How was Japan? Did you find your family?”

“I went to Japan and found out that I was hypnotized to forget my past I heard the key phrase while I was there and all my memories came back and I found out I was genetically engineered and taught to be a killing machine!” They all slowly gravitated towards the kitchen as Noodle excitedly filled them in.

Russel was surprised and could only manage a; “Whoa.”

Noodle continued, “My unit was ordered to be scrapped and my creator killed everyone else except for me, who he shipped off here in hopes that I would find a home with the band.” Noodle shrugged. “That worked out pretty well. Oh! I also can speak every known language!”

Russel nodded trying to take this all in and then ending up going to the only thing he could say confidently. “I’m glad we can actually talk now.” They had made it to the dingy, dirty, kitchen.

Noodle grinned and picked up the can of pea soup she had opened. “Me too and I have so much to tell both of you! Oh, if your hungry we also still have a lot of food left over from when we lived here. Stick to the cans though… I found some dead mice in the oatmeal.” Noodle looked over her soup and saw a cockroach that had wandered in while she was greeting her friends. Its little hairy legs flicking spasticly in the mushy mixture. Noodle spooned it out and, with a quick flick, launched it across the room narrowly missing 2D, then Noodle started to eat the soup, cold, out of the can.

Russel blinked at this. “Baby Girl, how long have you been living by yourself here…”

Noodle stared at him, a slightly crazed look in her eyes. “Couple years…”

Russel licked his lips uncomfortably. “Have you just been eating cold soup all this time?”

Noodle shook her head in shock at the preposterous thought. “Of course not! Sometimes for dinner I have canned beans, canned sardines, canned spam… And of course Ramene! The rats don't even touch that…” 

2D was watching a living cockroach devouring a dead one on one of the kitchen countertops. “Weren’t yew lonely?”

Noodle smiled as she took a mouthful of soup. “The rats kept me company. Plus until recently I had a bunch of zombies running around here. I even kept one alive, such as that is, and locked up in Murdoc’s Winnybago. I called him John. He made me feel like there was someone else living here with me when he would bang around and break things in there while moaning. It was just like having Murdoc here...” _ Oh no, I never removed John… _

Russel was making decisions as he watched 2D about to open a rust covered can of Campbell's tomato soup that looked like it was from the 50s, “I think we should all go out for dinner tonight…”

Noodle grabbed a katana stashed next to a dead plant in the kitchen and was dashing towards Murdoc’s room muttering, “Kuso! Kuso! Kuso!!!” 

2D and Russel shared a terrified look worrying that Noodle had cracked and then ran after her, Russel exclaiming. “Baby Girl where are you going with that sword!”

Noodle took the stairs and got to Murdoc’s Winnebago which was bouncing up and down with a lot of crashing noises going on in there, still pumping out Black Sabbath, which had switched from the Ozzy collection to Dio. Noodle tried to open the door but it was locked. 

2D hesitantly put a hand on Noodle’s shoulder. "Uhhh, Noods, I wouldn't bother 'im when he's wif someone..."

She shrugged out of the hand on her should braced herself before jump kicking the door open. The room was in complete shambles and Murdoc was in a corner swinging his bass, El Diablo, as protection, the demon boy hiding behind Murdoc cowering, while a rotting monstrosity of what must have been a heavyweight wrestler was moaning at him and trying to find an entry point to get at Murdoc and gnaw his head open. Cortez was on Murdoc's shoulder, wings up, trying to look big and scary.

Noodle raised her sword and ran in closely followed by Russel and 2D both staring in shock at the scene.

_ Slice _ !

John’s head flew clean off his body, and played ping pong on the walls showering everyone in the room with putrid puss before finally coming to a rolling stop in the middle of the trailer.

Murdoc was visibly shaking, piss running down his pants as he collapsed to the floor screaming, “WHAT THE BLOODY HELL WAS THAT!” 

Noodle looked sadly at the pulverized head of the dead zombie. "What do you say to the dead? Will you forgive me for living?" Cortez flew over to the decomposing head and started pecking its eyes out.

Russel was shocked seeing his little girl murder a zombie with a katana, “Well, okay then…”

2D’s grabbed and shook Noodle’s shoulder excitedly. “That was bloody FANTASTIC!!! Killing zombies! For real! Yew should have a movie made about yew!” She turned to look at him, zombie bits all over his grinning face and hair. 

Noodle grinned back. She wasn’t alone! This wasn’t the family she day dreamed about but it wasn’t too bad.


	7. Observation Tower

A few weeks later, the band was taking the evening off after having just gone through a rocking recording session. Noodle went to the kitchen to scrounge up a sandwich for herself and 2D and Murdoc, with Cortez on his shoulder, came with her. Murdoc grabbed a bottle of rum and sat on a kitchen chair, putting his feet up on the dinner table and rocking back and forth on the back two legs of the chair. “Good recording session there mates! It will be really great once the features get here and we can really have some fun, y’know?” He cracked open a few peanuts from a bowl on the counter for himself and fed one to Cortez.

Cortez greedily took the peanut and then started grabbing strands of Murdoc’s greasy hair and pulling it, trying to make a nest in his hair. Noodle wondered if Cortez was a reincarnation of a hairdresser. Cortez then spoke in a voice that was clearly Murdoc’s own scratchy drawl. “I love you! Yes, you, you feathery bastard!”

Murdoc rubbed Cortez’s neck and grumbled quietly to himself. “Don’t know where he gets this stuff. Previous owner musta been a tosser…”

Noodle, who was making a peanut butter sandwich, glanced at 2D and they shared a grin over Murdoc's strange pride. 2D hunched over, more than normal, to be at eye level with the bird on Murdoc’s shoulder. Grinning he pointed his forefinger towards the raven to touch it’s beak. “Awwww, yewr such a cute birdie!” The bird fluffed up, tapping it’s little feet and hissing in anger before striking forward with lightning speed and biting 2D’s finger. “Ow!” 2D squeaked retracting his finger and frowning at Cortez, more spooked then hurt.

Murdoc grinned and gave the raven another peanut as a reward. “He knows bad meat when he sees it, doesn’t he?” Cortez took the peanut eagerly and made a noise, that sounded like guzzling a beer, in thanks.

2D scowled and walked to the fridge to get a beer for himself. Once he cracked it open he went over to Murdoc, looking expectantly. Murdoc sighed. “Yes, of course it must be that time again. You're like clockwork Faceache.” Murdoc pulled out a pill bottle from his pants and snagged out a couple of pills which he handed to 2D. 

2D gave a small bob of the head as he took his cherished treasure. “Fanks.”

Noodle took her sandwich and sat down at the dinner table watching as Cortez, unhappy he wasn’t getting more peanuts, hopped down Murdoc’s shoulder and over to the peanut bowl and started digging about on his own. Murdoc sighed and put the pill bottle on the counter as he reached over and grabbed the bird’s feathery back with both hands. “Come back here! I decide what you get you overgrown chicken.”

2D gulped down the pills in his hand with his beer and looked at the bottle on the table longingly before Noodle snatched up the bottle and read the name. “Dilaudid!” She liked that word, it was fun to say. She squinted at the bottle and started reading the numerous warnings on it. "It says no alcohol should be taken with these…" 

2D chuckled to himself leaning against the sink. "Course it does luv. Pill bottles say all kinds of crazy stuff, ‘bout death and rashes and pregnancies. And I never got pregnant, so I don't have to worry!" 2D said swallowing some more beer. "I just don't do too much, so it's fine. Been doing it for years!" He smiled at her to show his confidence about the statement.

Noodle couldn't tell if 2D was trying to be funny, or if he was just piloting on another dimension. She took a bite of her sandwich and fought with the mass of peanut butter that stuck to the top of her mouth before she could talk again. "Can I have one?" 

Murdoc shrugged. “Suuu----”

“No!” 2D, uncharacteristically cut off Murdoc, who scowled at 2D. 2D’s face dropped and he cringed away from the older man, ready to get hit but Murdoc’s attention was back on his feathered friend. 2D, seeing he wasn’t going to get smacked this time bit his lip with one of his fangs before focusing his attention back on Noodle. "They’re not for kids…"

Noodle scoffed. "I’m not a kid! I’m 14! And you and Russ say that I can’t have cigarettes all the time but Muds always gives them to me anyway!" 

"Muds has been giving yew fags!? Russ ‘ll kill yew!” 2D looked towards Murdoc.

Murdoc decided now was a good time to leave and got up with a huff grabbing the pill bottle from Noodle’s hands as he went. “Only if he can find me. I’m out.” 

Noodle sighed at 2D. “Your one to talk! When did you start taking those pills?”

“Look it doesn't matter when I started taking the pills. I need ‘em because of me ‘eadaches. Yew know I've ‘ad one too many hits to the noggin." 2D hit his head with his fist to demonstrate. "Ow!"

Noodle sighed at 2D and rolled her eyes. "K, I will just get them from Muds when you're not around then."

2D's face fell and he got more serious than Noodle could ever remember. "No, Noods, don't do that. Yew don't want this ball and chain ‘round yewr neck. Yew’ve got ta promise me."

Noodle looked over at her friend. This wasn’t like 2D, he never told her no. "But…."

2D leaned over the kitchen table stabbing the table with his forefinger for emphasis. "No! I don't know much, but I do know this. Don't do this. Don't take these pills. This is the only thing I ever want yew ta promise me. Don't. Take. These. Pills.... Promise!"

“But you like them so much! How can they be that bad?!”

For the first time Noodle could ever remember 2D yelled at her. “I like ‘em because I don’t like nuffing else!” 2D sighed and fought to regain his composure gnawing on the inside of his cheek in frustration. “‘M sorry. I shouldn’t a yelled at yew… Just… Just promise me…”

Noodle felt an involuntary shiver of fear go up her spine. Why was she afraid of 2D!? She could beat him up any day of the week! Still being yelled at by him was so odd, it unsettled her. It wasn’t the relationship they had. They usually interacted together like equals and him pulling rank on her made her feel uncomfortable. It reminded her that her closest friend really wasn’t her equal. He was an adult and worse, he saw her as a child. She found her mouth acquiescing to his demand. ".... I promise…."

2D looked down and gave a rueful smile at his beer before he downed the last of it. He looked up again and gave Noodle a smile, but it didn’t reach the dark voids of his eyes."Great, let's play Street Fighter!" He turned around and stumbled into the coat rack. 

As he tried to get his balance grabbing on to the coat rack he started talking muttering to himself. “Oh, sorry ‘bout that luv. Who let a beautiful lady such as yewrself in ‘ere? Little boney, aintcha?” He started running his hands up and down the coat rack in an oddly sensual way until his hand froze. “Awww shite, yewr the coat rack again.”

2D disentangled himself from the coat rack and was moving towards the living room with a happy little spring in his step. Noodle got up and put her plate in the since before following him trying to shake the previous conversation from her thoughts. She didn’t like seeing him lose his temper and the 180 2D did back to his jovial self was also disturbing. 

An hour later 2D was sitting on the edge of his bed and Noodle was sitting on the floor leaning against his bed. She had just dealt him a Knock Out on Street Fighter. 2D groaned, “Ohhhhh, yew got meeee.” Dropping his controller to the ground, he flopped backwards, legs boinging up into the air and shaking. As his feet hit the ground his body stopped moving.

Noodle punched his leg, “Toochi, play another round with me!” She got no response. She tried again yelling louder at him. "Toochi!" He was asleep, or he was pretending to be; either way he was off with the Void. Noodle sighed with disappointment and decided to take this time to do some research on the pills 2D loved so much. She scooted over to 2D’s computer, which was on the floor and 2D had just left on with it’s 90’s sewer pipe screensaver. When she moved the mouse, she saw his email was up. She didn’t  _ want _ to spy, but she really felt like spying.

Dear Mr D,

It has come to our attention that you have missed several of your payments due to various different children. While we do accept that some of the payment may be delayed due to the late arrival of DNA results, the four or five cases that have been proved undeniably are now outstanding. The spikey bule hair on these offspring is a dead giveaway.

Moreover, we are more than certain that you do indeed have the funds to pay for their upkeep as shown by your recent purchase of a Triple-Screen Plasmar Entertainment System, with the extra pong balls too. In order to avoid prosecution I strongly suggest that you send payment immediately to the previously stated addreses. I trust that your response will be swift. Oh, by the way. Your singing on that new Gorillaz tune Feelgood Inc is like… ‘dead good’

I do hope we don’t have to take this matter any further.

Regards,

Dan Dennis.

UK Child Support Agency

Noodle stared in shock at the letter and then looked over to 2D who was snoring on the bed. She knew he would go off with the girls all the time on tour, but wasn’t that what condoms were for? She tried to imagine 2D as a dad, which considering she didn’t have a real one herself, other than Russel, was rather hard. It messed with her brains and made her feel kinda uncomfortable that 2D was just living here with them like nothing happened while he had children running around out there. 

2D had replied back:

Alright Dan,

Keep it chilly, coz everythings cool. The cash will be in the post as soon as the royalty cheque clears. 

Meanwhile I’ve sent all those kids some fantastic Gorillaz goodies, which should keep them sweet for a while.

Best Regards,

Mr Two D.

Noodle shook her head, this was too much info and she shouldn’t have looked. She exited out of his emails feeling even more disconnected from the person she thought of as her best friend. She shook her head to clear her thoughts. The current objective was learning about 2D’s pills, not his affairs. She decided to Google “Dilaudid” and see if it really was okay to take alcohol with them. 

_ Dilaudid +alcohol +interactions _

What she saw sent shivers down her back. 2D was playing with fire and there was no way it wasn’t going to burn him at some point. His pills were addictive and deadly. This knowledge led her down a research rabbithole looking up overdoses and what to do if someone was having one. Noodle’s chest felt tight as she tried to process all this, including why 2D would ever want to play with death everyday. She knew he had a great deal of pain but to play with something so dangerous... None of it made sense, especially for happy, goofy, and carefree 2D! He was always such a ray of sunshine! Except, of course, when he was being beaten by Murdoc, or having one of his migraines, or throwing up, or having a nightmare, or an anxiety attack on the floor. Well actually, maybe he was down a lot. Poor Toochi!

Noodle wandered over to 2D who still conked out on the bed and snoring loudly. She looked over his pale face with the permanent dark bags under the eyes and chapped lips, and his bony body. He didn’t look in peak physical condition, but he was breathing so he wasn’t currently overdosing. She wanted to cry looking at him. He was her best friend and he was hurting himself. She wanted him to stop, she wanted him to be okay, but there was nothing she could do. This was all on him, all she could do was watch. 

This made her angry, she wanted to punch him, yell at him, but in this state he probably wouldn’t even notice. What was it about him just sleeping there that made her want to hurt him just like Murdoc always did? She made one last angry pout at 2D unconscious body and left slamming his door closed behind her and hoping it would wake him up, but knowing it wouldn’t. Storming up to her room she flung open her door, not bothering to close it behind her and she started to put all of her formidable strength into beating up a pillow.

_ Why was Toochi so selfish! If he hurt himself what would happen to me!? He’s my best friend and I don’t want to lose him! I spent too long alone here I can’t imagine being alone again! I can’t do that! _

A knock on her door shook her out of her fury and Russel’s smooth voice broke into her thoughts, "You okay Baby Girl?" Russel leaned into the doorway and saw her crying in rage. "Oh…"

Noodle looked at Russel with a sorrowful expression on her face and speaking through sobs. "Toochi says he has been doing pills for years, but they could kill him at any time!"

Russel sighed, he’d been wondering when it would click with Noodle that her best friend had a lot more problems then she wanted to believe. "D is headed for some bad times, Baby Girl, I dunno when it's gonna get him, but it probably is.” 

Noodle came over the the doorway shouting at Russel. “But doesn’t he know how much that would hurt me!?”

Russel gave her a sad smile. “Damn, I wish you had some friends your own age… Look, I know you and D are close and you always have been, but he is a man, and he has a lot more going on in his head than his friendship with you. He likes to pretend he doesn’t and that's probably why he gets along with you so well…”

Noodle started at Russel, “What's that supposed to mean? He doesn’t care about me?”

“He does, but not that much… He doesn’t care about anyone really, especially not himself, he’s just coasting along in life just hopping from pill to pill.”

Noodle shook her head, she had learned a bunch of things about 2D that she was not happy with and didn’t want to believe them. They didn’t fit with her image of him as just a friendly, lovable goof, and she did not like that one bit. Just like how she was always stressed that Murdoc was going to have a rage boner, did she have to be worried that 2D could die at any moment? “He is part of my family and he needs to be better than this! He is all I have!”

Russel shook his head at Noodle, she was young and being over dramatic. “You're trying to shove a square peg into a round hole. D is D. He isn’t your fantasy and he never will be. I wish you had a better family. I really do. But he is not all you have! What am I!? And you can always find more people. It's a big world out there…”

Noodle was hunkering down in her position and stomped her foot in defiance of the facts. “I don't care about other people, I want my best friend! What if he overdoses!?”

Russel leaned against the side of the door. “Muds know its a possibility, he got his hands on some Narcan for just such an occasion. Hopefully if it happens we will be around and can help… but you can't help a person until they want to be helped, and D… Well, he doesn’t want to be helped." 

Noodle said starting to feel a manic need to fix this problem rising in her chest, "I memorized all the signs of an overdose, I can just keep a close eye on him all the time---" 

Russel put a hand up to stop her. "That's not your job. D is doing this to himself. Don't ruin your life trying to protect him when he doesn't even want it. He is an adult, he is making his own decisions, and if he wants to play with knives, it's not your job to try and catch them. You’ll only get hurt if you try." 

Noodle felt like she wanted to cry. "But…"

"No buts, your life is fucked up enough, you don't need the guilt or stress looking after D." Russel came over and wrapped Noodle in a fatherly hug. "I can't help him either Baby Girl, and I wish I could. But I can help you." 

Noodle cried into Russel’s shirt. He said not to worry about 2D, but she couldn’t just stop worrying. He just couldn’t die, he couldn’t.

***

Noodle found herself wandering around the empty halls of Kong Studio trying to shake her worries about 2D out of her head when she saw a small black and brown shape dogging from one room to another. She quickened her pace and caught up with the demon boy in the can pantry. She listened for a noise, but since he didn't need to breath she didn't hear him. Cautiously she looked behind a bunch of canned green beans, not seeing the boy but she did see a mummified rat. 

Suddenly she heard a screeching noise and felt small clawed hands grab her side. She elbowed Cuthbert in the head and as she turned around grabbed him around the neck with one hand slamming his little body into the wall. He giggled at her. "This is fun! You don't play with me anymore..."

Noodle sighed, smiling slightly and relaxed her grip, letting the boy down on the floor. "I have a lot more on my mind these days..."

The boy kicked a dead cockroach in between some cans with his barefoot. "That's what everyone says as they get older! I've been dead for over 300 years and I still just want to play!"

Noodle cocked her head to the side as she sat down on a stack of cans. "You were alive once?"

Cuthbert crossed his arms and stared her down with his yellow slitted eyes. "What? You think demons just pop into existence like this or do you believe that we are all fallen angels?" He motioned to his burnt body and horns. Noodle shrugged.

"I was a boy. Worked on a farm in the American Colonies. Life was boring but fine. I guess... My parents had a lot of trouble conceiving, frankly I don't think my Pa, was my real father, but when they had me I was the center of their life. They loved me and I wanted for nothing! It was great times!” The demon grinned to himself remembering the good years as he sat down on a stack of cans opposite her. “Then Pa, left for business for a week and 9 months later we had another baby." Noodle nodded along with his story, twirling a strand of hair as he talked.

"Then I wasn't their one and only son. The baby was so special to them, they doted on him every day and ignored me. I was so lonely, we lived so far away from anyone else, I only had them and they didn't care about me anymore... The baby was the problem so I took care of him by throwing him in the river..."

Noodle blinked in shock. She figured that Cuthbert would have done something bad to be committed to hell but killing his baby sibling... "That's horrible..."

Cuthbert looked up at her and grinned. "Of course it is! My Pa was distraught and in his sadness mentioned it to some people at the market where he sold his goods. They decided that we were a family of witches. Burnt us up in the night while we slept..."

Noodle shivered at the story, suddenly feeling less companionly towards Cuthbert. "Did you get to be with your parents in death?"

"No, they didn't do anything truly evil in their lives and went to Heaven. Y'know, I hear in Heaven they let you pick what you want to do. If you believe in an afterlife you get to live that, if you believe in reincarnation you can do that or if you are an atheist you just cease to exist! It's a smorgasbord of afterlife options!"

Noodle took this in with a surprised nod. "Sounds sweet… So what is Hell like?"

The boy stretched out his back and sighed, "Like earth but everything is shittier. Traffic never moves, all the buildings have holes in them, knives are always dull, everyone is sad and or angry but over all things run a lot like here other than everyone having an hour or so of their own personal hell. It’s not terrible there though. When I was last down there Napoleon and Hitler were both trying to take over. Well as much as they can before Beelezabubs gets annoyed and puts an end to it..."

"Personal hell?"

Cuthbert sighed at all the questions then jumped up and stretched with a devious grin. "I'm tired of this! I want some fun!"

Noodle sighed, she wanted to get more insider information, but she figured that it was only fair she gave him something he wanted. "Okay, what do you want to do?"

Cuthbert smiled conspiratorially at Noodle. "Let's go steal all of 2D's synth cables!"

Noodle blinked in surprise. "What? I thought he kept losing them!"

The boy giggled. "Everyone does, including 2D! Then Murdoc gets to hit him!"

Noodle protective feelings for 2D bubbled to the surface as she felt a growing anger towards Cuthbert. "That's wrong! Stop doing that!"

The boy grinned and started to run out the door. "Don't like it? Try and stop me!"

"No! Get back here!" Noodle tried to grab him but only got empty air and then she quickly scrambled after him.

Cuthbert ran down one hallway after another banging open doors as he went and taunting her. "You have a crush on 2D!"

Noodle felt her face getting red as she ran after the demon. "I do not! This is about being on the side of the righteous!"  
The boy screamed out. "You have a crush on the stupid one!" 

This fueled Noodle's speed and she pounced on top of Cuthbert slamming him down on the floor feeling his cracked dry skin against hers as she put one hand over his mouth.

They had ended up in the kitchen where Russel was working on making beans and rice for dinner. He looked down on the two smiling. "Good to see you playing with someone your own age!" 

Noodle struggled to keep the boy pinned under her as he squirmed. "I'm not playing with him and he is not my age! He is 5 years younger than me!"

The struggling demon bit her hand with his sharp teeth. "I'm centuries older than you!"

Noodle cried out but continued to hold on tight to the boy. "Ow! You made me bleed!"

The boy had a smug grin on. "That is definitely going to get infected!"

Russel sighed and went back to cutting up veggies. "Noodle don't take after Murdoc and use brute force to get your way."

Noodle hated being compared to Murdoc. "But he's going to mess with 2D!"

Russel turned to her and shook his knife at her while he talked. "Baby Girl, I told you, you can't protect 2D." Realizing the optics, Russel quickly put the hand holding the knife down and gave a tight smile to Noodle. "Get off Cuthbert."

The boy growled under her, only loud enough for her to hear. "I'm going to set up trip wires in 2D's room! He loves that!"

Noodle sighed as she slowly got off of the boy and then quickly punched his face as hard as she could. Cuthbert laughed at her. "Did you forget you can't hurt me?" He grinned and skipped off to cause mayhem. 

Russel sighed, "Violence only begets violence... Trust me, I tried to teach Murdoc many lessons that way and it didn't work."

Noodle stamped her foot in anger. "I didn't invite Murdoc and I definitely didn't invite the demon back here..."

Russel cut the veggies with more force than necessary. "Murdoc owns this place, so technically we're his guests. He can do what he wants..."

Noodle sighed and stalked off. She couldn't stop the demon from fucking with 2D but she could try to fix it before 2D got hurt.

***

Noodle had been looking everywhere for Murdoc, in his Winnybago in the basement, under his Winnybago, under furniture, bushes, piles of garbage, everywhere, but she couldn’t find the old bastard. Finally she decided to check the last place she thought he would be, the recording studio. As she came up to the door she heard tender muttering. She quietly put her head up to the door and listened to Murdoc’s voice sounding down right loving and it was alarming. “Oh, aren’t you the most beautiful bird in the world, love? I was lost till I found you, you are such a sweetheart, best friend I’ve ever had…”

Noodle felt she should walk away, let what ever was going on continue unmolested, but then she though,  _ fuck it _ . She swung open the door quickly and saw Murdoc nuzzling his face under Cortez’s wing while Cortez sweet-temperedly preened Murdoc’s hair. It was the most adorable thing she had ever seen and she wished she could take a picture for proof of this unlikely event to show 2D and Russel. Murdoc, seeing he wasn’t alone quickly pulled Cortez away from his face and the bird made an indignant squawk. Murdoc cleared his throat, “Uhhum! Noodle! What are you doing here?”

“Trying to find you, but if you're busy with a---bird, I can come back later.”

Murdoc narrowed his eyes at the cheeky guitarist. “What do you want?”

Noodle got down to business. “I have been reaching out to a collaborator, and I got a hold of Shaun Ryder…”

Murdoc started scratching Cortez’s neck. “That bonehead? Ahwell, at least he is famous so that’s good. Will really add some class to the album.”

Noodle nodded and leaned her back against the door. “Yes, but he is having some, uh, health problems…?”

Murdoc impatiently shook his hands at her. “Like what? Like he needs fruit? Really Noodle, love, what is it? Spit it out!”

Noodle sighed, she couldn’t let Murdoc fluster her, he loved flustering people and she didn’t want to give him the satisfaction. “Like he is a 12ft tall head that needs a room full of lab equipment to keep him alive.”

Murdoc shrugged, his attention on his avian friend. “Could be worse, coulda lost all his teeth. What does this have to do with me?”

“Well it seems he doesn’t really have anywhere to go so he was hoping he could crash here for a bit...”

Murdoc shrugged. “Fine by me.”

Noodle wished she didn’t have to spell everything out to Murdoc. She was used to doing this for 2D but not Murdoc. “So do you have a room he can use?”

Murdoc was giving an ear massage to Cortez who yawned. “I gave you a big room, he can stay in there.”

Noodle started protesting. “But that’s---” Murdoc gave her a blank eyed star. “Fine. That’s fine.”

Murdoc nodded approvingly. “Good, we all have to make sacrifices for our art. This is your album after all...”

Noodle sighed as she went off to find Russel. Maybe he would have some idea of how she could block off half her room, she didn’t really want to have to stare at a large disembodied head all day and night.

***

The recording of Demon Days went well and soon it was time for working on the music videos. All four band members were in the kitchen while Noodle and Murdoc were butting heads over how the Feel Good Inc. video should go.

“WOMEN! Lots and lots of women!” Murdoc said slamming his fits down on the kitchen table, causing some dead flies to bounce.

Noodle stood up on her chair and leaned over the table towards Murdoc. “Fine! You can have your women! But I want my floating island with the windmill!”

Murdoc stood up. “But, love, women are a lot easier to get than floating islands! I don’t even know what good chloroform would do for an island! Nhuh…”

Noodle’s voice was getting high and screechy. “The floating island is a tribute to my Japanese culture. This is important to me!”

Murdoc leaned over the table on hand gesticulating in an impatient manner. “And I should care about this because….."

“Because I wrote this album!”

Murdoc smiled at her as he mansplained. “You came up with a few little ditties that I felt were good enough to be placed in my album. I’m a generous band leader like that, y’know? Nnhuh”

Noodle’s brain blew a fuse at how infuriating Murdoc was and all she could manage was to squawk out her frustration. “Glauuukkk!!!”

Russel came in to be the voice of reason. “We are getting that artist, Jamie Hewlett, involved. I’m sure he can figure out how to get the windmill island in, somehow…”

Murdoc sighed and threw his hands up in frustration. “Fine, take it up with that wanker, so long as I get the tower of women.”

Noodle started doing a sassy little victory dance on her chair. “HAI!!!!”

2D, who had been slowly eating an orange as he watched the other band members fight, spoke happily to himself. “I get ta be on a floating island!”

Murdoc smiled at him devilishly sharp teeth showing. “Oh, my pretty Bluebirrrd…”

***

Murdoc brought their collaborator Jamie Hewlett to Kong Studio to plan out their videos. Jamie talked at length with Noodle and helped bring her vision to life. It was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for her and she adored her island, which they got docked at Kong Studio a few days before the beginning of their shoot. 

The four musicians climbed a rope ladder up to the island to check it out. Murdoc was the first up and hissed as he got on top of the island which was above the English fog. “Nhuh, it’s sooo bloody sunny!” Cortez took off of Murdoc's shoulder and started making great wide flying circles around the island, cawing in appreciation.

Russel got to the top of the ladder and growled at Murdoc, “Shut yo face Muds. It’s gonna be our best video ever and you know it.” Having properly chastised Murdoc, Russel, wandered over to a nice grassy spot, turned around in a little circle several times and sat himself down with a little huff enjoying the sun.

2D was next and beamed at the sun with his pasty face as he got on the island. Grinning he started running around the soft grass like a nut until his cigarette filled lungs got tired, and then he flopped down in the grass panting and enjoying soaking in the rays. “This ‘ere island is a little slice o’ ‘even!”

Noodle was last up and immediately upon setting foot on the island set off running around and breathing in the fresh air and taking in every inch of her land and running up the windmill and waving down at her bandmates. Eventually when she ran herself out she wandered over to Murdoc and 2D who both had their shirts off, sunning themselves and smoking cigarettes. Murdoc was standing facing the windmill and 2D was lying down looking at Murdoc with a frown. “Muds! This is Noodle’s island! Stop pissing on it! Do it over the edge!”

Murdoc shook himself off and zipped up his pants. “It’s my island! I’ve paid for it and I get to piss on it!” Murdoc turned and grinned self righteously at 2D and a passing seagull took this moment to shit in Murdoc's eye.

2D grinned at the green man. "That's supposed to be good luck, that is!"

Murdoc grumbled, "All this fresh air and greenery makes me sick! Come on Cortez, we're going!" He got up and stomped off to the rope ladder to let himself down. Cortez cawed back disappointedly. "I don't care! I don't like it here so your coming down with me!" Cortez flew back to Murdoc's shoulder as he started to descend the ladder..

Noodle yelled at him as he left. "Thanks for the island Uncle Mudsy!" Murdoc flipped her off before he was fully out of view.

Noodle came closer to 2D and looked over his skinny shirtless form and noticing a bunch of small scars all over his chest and shoulders, most she figured were from his various abusive interactions with Murdoc over the years. Her eyes then wandered to his shoulder which had K.F.C. tattooed on it. "Where did you get that tattoo Toochi?"

2D said dreamily looking at the sky. "She woulda loved this..."

Noodle shook her head, "Huh?"

"Wot?" 2D sat up a bit to look at Noodle.

Noodle sighed and pointed at his shoulder. "Toochi, your tattoo, how did you get it?"

"Oh, after yew left us in America I met a girl who was practicing ta be a tattoo artist. Said she could ink me wif anyfing. I said I wanted a flaming bird on me shoulder! She gave me this tattoo… I don't know why but she thought it was very funny…"

Noodle though this over a moment and then let it go, she had more important things to talk about. "Toochi, I am kinda nervous about all of this."

"Being on a floating island really does defy the laws of nature…" 2D suddenly got agitated and sat up gripping his knees. "We could come crashing down at any moment!!!"

Noodle sighed. "Toochi, I did not mean the island, we are fine here don't worry! I meant the album, the music videos all that…"

2D's previous worries were completely forgotten in an instant as he grinned at Noodle, "Awww, luv, that's going ta be great! Yew wrote a brilliant album! And it's really, oh wots the word? Poignant!!! Talking bout war 'n' ecological catastrophe 'n' all. Muds would be claiming it as his own work if 'e didn't fink so!

Noodle was surprised 2D had actually paid attention to her work. "You got the message of the lyrics!?"

"'M, dim, not completely dumb. I especially liked the overarching theme of a zombiefied planet."

Noodle chuckled threw bits of grass on to 2D's chest while she talked. "Knew you'd like that part." 

"Awww, course yew did!" 2D grinned breaking off a dandy lion and throwing it at her before leaning back looking at the sky again. "I like finking about zombies 'n' such, but I would take a sunny day like ta day over a zombie apocalypse any time!"

"It's good to know you're not totally off your rocker…" Noodle said.

2D slowly started humming "El Mañana" and then singing it which Noodle happily joined in as they sat watching the puffy clouds.

***

To be more economical, Murdoc decided that “Feel Good Inc,” and “El Manzana,” would be filmed on the same day. 2D and Noodle were waiting outside, next to the floating island’s ladder, for Murdoc, Russel and De La Soul, who had stayed the night, to come out so they could organize themselves for filming. They had been singing Feel Good Inc. with each other and laughing happily. 

The director, Jamie Hewlett, was leaning against his car smoking a cigarette and looking over his notes. The rest of the crew was already on the two sets.

Finally the door banged open and Murdoc staggered out, grinning and showing off his sharp teeth, followed by the three rappers, Trugoy, Maseo, Posdnuos and Russel who were all being very companionly and laughing as Murdoc boomed out to all assembled. "Let's go make musical history!!!! Nhuhhhhh!"

Russel and Noodle went over to Jamie to chat and 2D, happy to see everyone in a good mood for once, wandered over to Murdoc grinning. "This is going ta be brilliant!"

Murdoc looked at 2D and Murdoc's good humor went sinister. "Nhuh, 2Dents, I'm not feeling the gut wrenching sorrow you need for this song..."

2D face fell instantly and he looked down to the ground, hunching over. "I-I can be sad! I've got the deadness inside a me!!!

Trugoy punched his fist into his hand. "Oh Murdoc, man, I like this band!"

Murdoc nodded and smiled at the rappers. "I’m all about the extra bennies! Just leave his face alone… Nhuh-uh-uh. Gotta look pretty for the shoot."

2D stared at Murdoc sputtering. "W-w-why!!!!" A large fist punched 2D in the gut, knocking him to the ground. The three rappers jumped on him beating the shit out of him.

Murdoc appraised the scene. "Because you're too happy and you have no right to be. You have to bleed for your art y'know?"

"Banzai!!!" Suddenly Maseo got kicked in the head by a very angry Noodle. She then punched Trugoy in the head with her fist. 

Russel grabbed Posdnuos yelling at him, "Yo! What the fuck you doing man!!!"

Posdnuos put his arms up in submission, "Murdoc said we could beat him up! Said the skinny freak liked it, helped him get in the mood for the performance!"

Noodle ran over to 2D helping him sit up. "Are you okay Toochi!?"

2D was moaning and shaking in pain, arms wrapped around his skinny ribs. "Uuuuunnnnnn."

Noodle looked at Murdoc feeling furious. "Now we have to postpone the videoing!"

Murdoc laughed and shook his head. "It was damned expensive getting it set up today, we do it now or it doesn't get done!"

Noodle looked over at Jamie, who was facepalming and shaking his head sadly at how unreliable the band was.

Noodle felt her lip quivering as she tried to keep back the tears she wanted to cry. This was her album and she wanted her music videos sooo badly!!! How could Murdoc do this to 2D on today of all days. He was just trying to punish her for getting her way with the floating island. "Well I guess we don't do the videos…"

2D seemed to have regained some composure, quietly moaned. "I fink I can do it…"

Noodle shook her head and quickly tried to wipe her eyes, hoping one one would notice, but everyone did. "Toochi, you just took a pounding, we need to get you checked out for internal bleeding, or, or, something! You're in no shape to perform."

2D put a hand on her shoulder giving her a small crooked smile, "I've dealt wif worse… I can do it. It's all dubbed anyway, so I don't hafta sing well…” His large eyes found Murdoc’s. “Yew got sumfink for me Muds?"

Murdoc huffed and started to pull out a bottle from his pants "Course I do Stu-Pot." 

Noodle grabbed 2D's hand and shook it to get his attention. "You don't need to do this! It's not that important!"

2D gave a smile that didn't reach his eyes. "It is important luv." 2D took a pill from Murdoc swallowing it dry and continuing. "And anyway, I get ta be on the island wif yew!"

Murdoc tapped a booted foot impatiently. "Actually, 2D, you're coming with Russel and I to the tower…"

2D and Noodle looked in shock towards Jamie, who nodded. He really wished today had less drama, and it was just beginning…

Noodle shook her head still kneeling and supporting 2D. "Well, we can change that!"

Murdoc growled at her, "This had been planned out for months! Plus, there will be so many girls!!! I personally selected each model! Nhuh-uh-uh, 2D will be having so much fun he will forget about all the physical trauma. Y'know?"

2D wanted this to be over already and in the end it was always safer to have Murdoc get his way, otherwise he would find a way to extract revenge. "Fine, I'll be in the tower…"

***

As Noodle got ready on the floating island, Jamie and the musicians all drove over to the tower which had a long line of people slowly shuffling forwards at the base of the building. All of them were scantily clad and stared straight ahead, not looking, or chatting, as if hypnotised. As the band got in line as Murdoc sighed and tapped his foot impatiently. "Why couldn't we get a tower that had an elevator?" Jamie shrugged and shook his head. "Well guess they won't start without us... Y'know..." 

2D poked the girl in front of them in the shoulder experimentally. "I don't fink these wimmin are doing too good."

Murdoc hrumphed, "They are exactly the way I ordered them. At least someone got that part right!" He shot a nasty glance towards Jamie. "Feel free to grab any you want, they won't stop you..."

2D looked at Murdoc with mild disgust, "I like my wimmin ta be conscious..."

Murdoc wagged his head back and forth. "Well aren't you a prissy little pisspot. Hey! That's a new name for you! Piss-Pot... Can't believe it took me this long to think of that..."

2D sighed as he tried to ignore the hurt in his gut, lungs and the headache he had coming on. The one pill he was given by Murdoc wasn't going to be enough for all this pain. Not by a long shot... This wasn't going to be the fun day he had hoped for.

The band spent the rest of the day playing  _ Hurry up and wait! _ which consisted of Jamie getting everyone to hurry to get into position and then waiting for anywhere from a minute to an hour while they fixed a random problem, such as an errant light, a malfunctioning camera or an overdosing model. Once the problem was over the cast was once again told to hurry to get into position only for a new problem to come up. 

2D found himself sitting in a chair surrounded by a bunch of sleeping people, some with bags on their heads and 2D was worried because they didn't seem to be moving and he wasn't sure if they were dead or not. He didn't like this and he hurt and he wanted to be in his bed with the Void. 

_ Noods deserves a good music video for her album. Hang in there for 'er. This can't last forever. _

Suddenly he was motioned to start moving so he started singing and getting out of his chair. This was the 10th time they did this take. He had fallen over a model for the first take, and said; "Sorry luv," and was rather bothered that she didn't react at all and a tech just came out grabbed her by the ankle and dragged her out of the way, like a rag doll, for the second take. 

Several other takes Murdoc had messed up his cue in the background going too early or late.  _ Sorry about that loves, I tell you this never happens to me.. _ . 

One take 2D just totally sat still and forgot he had to do anything and the other takes just didn't cut mustard for one reason or another. 2D wondered if this was what hell was like. Being in pain, doing something he didn't want to do forever, and ever, and ever.

Finally, because it was getting late and they needed the sun they decided to do the shot of the island passing by. This wasn't going to get fucked up, Noodle was alone on there and she wouldn't mess up anything. 2D sang looking out the grimy window towards the verdant island wistfully. The bad time he was having really was helping towards his performance of longing to be on the island. He watched Noodle strumming her guitar as she floated by him on the island. Damn he wished he was on the island with her.

He watched the island as it started to disappear into the clouds again and he let his thoughts wander to how he wanted to just have some time off on that island daydreaming.  _ The happy little island, in the happy little clouds, with it's happy little windmill and oh, look there were some happy little helicopters... _

2D squinted at the helicopters, did they have guns? Big guns!? Where they going after the floating island!? He looked around trying to see if anyone else was seeing what he was seeing with the helicopters. The film crew was busy video taping Murdoc's swaying ass crack for the 20th time that day and no one was paying attention.

2D twiddled his fingers nervously and bobbed his head up and down shouting to the rest of the room "I fink a major problem is occuring!" No one cared.

2D ran up to Russel tugging at his shirt sleeve. "Russ, was the scene wif Noods supposta have 'elocopters wif guns!?"

Russel grumbled at him. "Of course not D! Shut up and get back in position I don't want to do this scene again!"

2D jiggle up and down like he was trying not to pee himself. "But I saw copters wif guns going after the island."

Russel sighed angrily at 2D. "Your just high! Go sit the fuck down and shut up!"

2D ran back to the large window, tripping over several models again, and looked out of the dirt covered glass. Did he just see smoke or was that just dark clouds!? He yelled again and pointed to the window panicking "I FINK SOMETHING BAD IS 'APPENING TA NOODS!!!!"

Everyone who was sentient looked at 2D. If looks could kill he would have been five feet under, but then Russel looked out the window and yelled. "That is a lot of smoke!" 

All the non stoned people rushed to the window. It was hard to see with all the clouds but it looked like a lot of smoke and flames and the occasional flying debris. Russel and 2D looked at each other both mirroring a look of horror and shock and then started to run to the exit. 2D seemed to fall over every model on the way but Russel managed to dodge them and started the long descent to the ground.

By the time 2D and Russel managed to get out of the building, both panting from the exertion they saw a huge flaming wreck in the distance. They seemed frozen in place for a moment as the thought of Noodle dying flashed into their brains. Russel whispered under his breath, "Baby Girl..."

2D whispered, "Noods..."

***

“Bastards! I knew I couldn’t trust a fucking Brit! BASTARDS!” Jimmy Manson shouted as two RAH-66 Comanche attack helicopters closed in, firing hot lead directly at his diminutive frame inside the Windmill. The rounds tore through the outer wall around the staircase like a baby’s fingers through cookie dough.

Noodle looked up from her feet, which she had been dangling off the edge of the floating island, just in time to avoid shrapnel. Her instincts served her well as she rolled behind a boulder, and planned an escape. Now it became clear why Murdoc kept winking at the parachute he’d left on the island. She had thought it was a new tick he was developing; he’d told Jamie Hewlett, the director, and cinematographer that it was there as purely a safety precaution. Noodle’s sharp mind deduced in short order that Murdoc must have planned this.

But why? Why destroy the windmill? Anger over her getting her way, robbing him of creative control of the video? But then, why try to signal to her that the parachute was there? Why leave one there at all?

Her time to ponder such subjunctives was cut off, as the two attack choppers began unloading rockets in the Windmill’s direction. Surely they had seen her, if they were any good; why were they just attacking an empty windmill? 

Then she saw him. A squat, long-haired little man, running out of the bottom of the windmill, the door of which had just been blown off by the concussive force of a rocket exploding halfway up the spire; his eyes wide as saucers, bloodshot with dust, focused on nothing but terror. 

“Satan preserve our flesh! Lord Below, I beseech--” another blast. The helicopters had switched, on their latest run, to their Hellfire missiles; they had their target now.

Jimmy Manson’s body was lifted into the air with the grace of a tweaked-out ballerina, and blown directly toward Noodle, landing with a “splut” on the boulder she was using as cover. As the Helicopter’s vengeful rotors beat the air, giving the scene a backing score of something off a Kraftwerk album, the little man lifted his large noggin, the only thing not plastered to the surface of the boulder in a fine paste.

“You… BITCH! You’re with HIM aren’t you? Heh heh… hgachgk….” A few specks of blood landed on Noodle’s face, making her own blood rise in anger, as if answering a challenge. “He can double cross me if he wants… but he can’t double cross…. THE LORD BELOW! If I’m going, I’m taking you with me! DARK MASTER! I BESEECH YOU! A SOUL FOR A SO--” 

His last words melted into and were subsumed by the noise, like a thousand angry Frenchmen, of the incoming Hellfire missile’s propellent, and punctuated by it’s direct hit on what was left of his spine. Noodle saw a micro-second’s flash of red and white, then she was upside-down and backwards, falling in what seemed like slow-motion, down through the cloud layer towards the ground and a rapidly opening hell hole.


	8. Sling Shot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the reviews!!!!! I can't say how much it means to me to have someone read this story and reading the comments really got me pumped to release the next chapter so thanks again!!!!
> 
> This chapter is very dark and it has graphic depictions of violence and rape.  
> I don't like this chapter, it has a lot of pain in it and it was hard for me to write. Also this chapter doesn't have a lot of the band to together and that makes me sad but that's canon. Things will get better, eventually! I promise!

The next day the three remaining band members were sitting in the kitchen. It was 10 am and Murdoc put his boots up on the kitchen table as he started off his day drinking with a bottle of rum. He looked at 2D and Russel who were both sitting at the table and staring off forlornly, like someone they loved had died. Murdoc growled, "Lards, why isn't there food 'ere? You're the cook, cook! Nhuh..." 

Russel looked up slowly at Murdoc slowly shaking his head. "Baby Girl..."

Murdoc rolled his head from one side to the other. "I told you! There was a parachute! She used it and now she is off enjoying herself... On a vacation or something!" He waved his hand dismissively. "Now, I'm hungry! Make some food!"

Russel slammed his fists on the table. "Baby Girl!"

The loud noise set off 2D who started silently crying as he went over to the liquor cabinet and grabbed a bottle of rum himself. With trembling hands he opened up the bottle and downed a mouthful feeling it burn all the way down. 

Russel looked at him disappointedly and grabbed the bottle from 2D's hands. He looked deep into the depths of the label and then took a swig himself and handed it back to 2D. 

_ RING! _

The kitchen phone rang and both 2D and Russel stopped breathing for a second as they each looked at each other both wanting and not wanting to answer the phone. Murdoc shook his head at them and picked it up the phone while talking in a scratchy sing song voice. "Gooorrrilllazzzz! God speaking! Hello Officer----" 

Russel quickly grabbed the phone from Murdoc. "Officer! Did you find anything in the wreckage? Oh my God---you found a body..." 2D felt like his heart stopped as he held his breath and bit his lip with his fang. 

Russel brow crunched in confusion. "A small man!? That was the only body? OH PRAISE ALLAH!" 

2D started breathing again. "Okay, thank you for letting us know. Thank you! Thank you! Yes let us know if you find anything else out! Thanks again! Goodbye..." As Russel hung up he took a deep sigh and shook his head.

Murdoc snarled and started guzzling the rum bottle, adam's apple bobbing. "See? I told you! She escaped and is probably having the time of her life without you two losers..."

2D shook his head and tapped the table with his fingers anxiously. "Why wouldn't she 'ave let us know!?"

Murdoc wiped his mouth with his sleeve. He was getting annoyed at how hung up the other two were on this. "She is off having the time of her life and she doesn't want you two wankers to bring her down!"

2D took that info with another hearty swig of rum as he sat there sadly thinking she abandoned them without even saying goodbye. Russel shook his head; he wasn't having this. "No. Noodle wouldn't have done that. I don't know where she is or what happened to her but if she isn't in the wreckage and still okay she would have said something to let us know!"

2D was getting agitated and tense. "But she hasn't so that means she's not okay!"

Murdoc was getting angry and started gesturing with his rum bottle towards the two other men, rum sloshing out of the bottle. "Right, 2D take some pills and forget about this. Russel you should try that too!"

Russel stood up, "No! I don't know what's going on but I know that Baby Girl would have let us know if she was okay. I don't think she is okay and I'm going to go looking for her."

2D, happy to have someone with a game plan stood up too. "I'm gonna look for 'er too!" 

Murdoc looked at both of them. "You can't do that! These are trying times! We need to stick together! Not do anything rash! A new album is coming out! We need to go touring!"

Russel shook his head. "Fuck the tour, and fuck you Murdoc."

***

The next day Murdoc was drinking himself into a stupor to forget that he had an album being released, and a worldwide tour planned with no band. When the phone rang again. 

Murdoc ran towards the phone as quickly as his stumbling, discombobulated self could grasping the phone in his clammy claw he slurred into it. “Well you facccksss! Already crying ta come back to me are ya? I was going to have auditions today from a bunch of  _ amazing artists  _ that know greatness when they see it BUT I might take you back…. Only if you really beg…”

_ This is Officer Burd. I was calling to update you about the crashed site. We still haven’t found any other bodies but we did find an unopened parachute. You had mentioned that in the initial report and -----”  _

The phone slipped from Murdoc’s grasp and hit the floor.

***

Noodle cautiously opened up her scrunched together eyes and found herself lying down in a room that was just pure uniform blackness. The only thing that wasn’t black was a desk with a woman sitting at it and smiling somewhat manically. The woman had 1900s cententury clothes and hair pulled up into a tight, kinky haired, bun. The woman opened up her arms in a friendly gesture and bellowed. “WELCOME TO HELL! I am your caseworker Lizzy!”

Lizzy looked at Noodle and then to the left and right of Noodle. Noodle followed the woman’s gaze and recognized the small man that she had seen splattered on the rock, no longer in splattered form, to her left and to her right was the Cuthbert.

Noodle tried to take in this turn of events while the small man wandered towards the woman at the desk, he waved at her and greeted her nonchalantly. “Hey Lizzie, can you just send me down to see Bubs? Murdoc double crossed me! Can you believe it!?”

Lizzy smiled and giggled to herself while gesturing behind her. “Of course I can believe that a child of lies lied to another child of lies. Just go straight on through this darkness here and you can go complain to the Father of Lies yourself.” The small man grunted and wandered into the blackness. 

Noodle looked down at the demon and whispered to him. "What is going on!? Why am I here!?"

He looked back to her and shrugged. "Jimmy Manson damned you to hell and I got the memo to open a portal to Hell for you, and I did a good job getting to you just in time!” Cuthbert grinned at her proudly. “Frankly, you're lucky. You would have died from that fall if I hadn't opened up the Hell portal below you. What I don’t understand is why they sucked me in here too."

Lizzy clapped her hands, somewhat annoyed, to get their attention. “Cuthbert, you're here because you're off the case. Gorillaz is world famous! The Devil wants to collect and you couldn’t even get Murdoc to come down to meet with the Big Man.”

Cuthbert ran forward and put his hands on the edge of the desk as he whined out his case. “I was working on it! To get Murdoc to do anything it has to be his idea! I was just trying to figure out an angle to get him to come down here…” 

Lizzy grabbed a stapler and pushed Cuthbert’s fingers off her desk. “Well, Bubs decided to try a different way of getting Murdoc down here.”

Cuthbert sighed, shoulders slumping. “I guess that's okay, I was getting bored up there anyway, no one wanted to play with me...” Lizzy smiled understandingly at Cuthbert and motioned to the darkness opposite where Jimmy had disappeared and Cuthbert toddled off waving a small charred arm at Noodle.

Lizzy grinned at Noodle now that it was just the two of them. With a little start she remembered her job and launched into a welcome speech. “Look, so this is, uh, Hell! You know! Fire! Burning! DaaaAAAaaaaMMMMnaaaaAAtion!!!!” She waved her hands around spookily. 

Noodle shook her head in confusion. “Do I have to stay here!?"

Lizzy consulted her paperwork, “Ummm, no, not forever... But you're going to stay because Belzaboss wants to use you as bait for Murdoc. Since Murdoc is being a sticky wicket not coming down here to square things up! You being here should bring him right, quick!”

Noodle grimaced she might be here forever if her freedom depended on Murdoc. “So how long do I have to stay here?”

Lizzy’s plastered on smile stayed. “As long as it takes! But don’t worry, I’m sure Murdoc will be here soon and then you will leave with just a touch of life changing trauma!”

Noodle was having trouble taking all this in. “So do I just stay in this darkness until he comes!?”

“Oh no! That would be terrible! Even for Hell! No, this is your own personal Hell. You only have to stay here for a bit each day. Just enough to get your torture in and then you can go and experience the rest of hell and hang with all the most evil historical figures! Exciting! Isn't it?” Lizzy leaned over her desk whispering conspiratorially. “I hear James Marsh's parties are to die for!!! I wish I could just get away for a bit to see one of them. Hang with the greats!" Noodle nodded, trying not to antagonize the woman who continued on genially. "Now look it’s really not all that bad, mostly just bureaucratic bullshit, but you have to have some bad experiences here or I’m not doing my job. Got it?”

Noodle gulped and said rather unconvincingly, “I am having a bad time!”

The caseworker smirked and shuffled her papers. “Oh honey, that's not going to do it...”

Noodle licked her lips. “But I’m not a bad person! I don’t deserve to be in hell!”

Lizzy grinned and put her hand down on the table fingers splayed out. “First of all thats what they all say. Second of all we get non permanent pop-ins all the time. It’s part of our  _ Scared Straight Program _ ! We’re very proud of it!”

Noodle shuffled uncomfortably and bit her lip. “So what are you going to do to me?”

The caseworker flipped through some paperwork and sighed. “Well since your, not dead and anything that happens here is permanent and file says you are to be returned in, mostly, the same physical condition you came in, that rules out maiming. That’s a shame, that’s my favorite!” Lizzy was shaking from excitement before forcing herself to take a deep breath. Then, the caseworker smiled pleasantly, or menacingly, it was hard to tell. “You’ll get raped!”

Noodle was appalled and stunned, that went from 0 to 100 quick. “Rape!?”

A man suddenly appeared in the room, he had a shaved head wearing jeans and a plain black T-shirt. He was a head taller than Noodle, lean and muscular with crystal blue eyes that looked like they stared right through her. 

The caseworker gestured to him. “So this is David and he will be taking care of you. He was working at a supermarket across the pond, raping women in the freezers until one of them happened to have a gun on her and shot him in the head.” Lizzie mimed shooting herself with her hand. “Bang! Hehe, sometimes protection does work! It’s excellent men like David that keep Hell working like a well oiled machine!”

Noodle wanted to laugh, there was no way she was going to let this jerk touch her. She stood preparing herself for battle and gesturing towards  _ David _ . “Okay, fine, try and get me.”

The caseworker laughed conspiritorally with David. “Oh it’s so cute when they think they can stop it! This is Hell sweetie! We make the rules----and you---  _ suffer _ .

David grinned at her without humor and suddenly it was just the two of them alone in the blackness. He spoke in a voice that was almost musical with it’s pacing. “Noodle, the thing you fear the least in life is being physically abused. Your skills of self protection leave you feeling that no one can take advantage of you and on top of that you had a blessed childhood with three grown men that never were untoward. They never touched you, they never even devoured you with their eyes. It is almost fantastical how you were not abused for fifteen years...”

Noodle growled at him. “Shut up and try me!”

David continued grinning through Noodle. “I’m not going to try you. I’m going to break you.”

He slowly and steadily came at Noodle. Once he was within kicking distance she pounced doing a strong windmill kick in the air, aiming at his head and she struck him with her well honed skills and it did nothing to him.

His grin stayed on his face he didn’t even budge from the impact. Noodle’s eyes opened in horror and shock as she continued punching and kicking at him skillfully but each hit seemed to him to only be a gentle caress. Finally he had enough of her and he grabbed her arms with inhuman strength and brought both her wrists together over her head and held them with one large hand. Noodle struggled, if this was a fair world she could have escaped! This man was not a skilled martial artist and didn't even feel her hits! No human was this strong! Hell wasn’t playing fair!

Arms above her head Noodle kicked off the ground both her feet shooting towards David’s groin and all it did was cause him to chuckle at her. “Oh Noodle, that’s not going to stop me. It’s time you learned your place.” 

David slammed her down onto the blackness of the floor causing her head to bounce on the ground as stars shot up in her vision as he straddled her legs to immobile her. The hand not holding her wrists gripped one of her small breasts like a vice and he squeezing and twisting with his inhuman strength. 

“ _ AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!”  _ She hadn’t wanted to scream but it just came out and she hated herself for not holding it in. She had never felt pain like this before but more than the physical pain it hurt her  _ soul _ , that she could not fight back. She just kept having the two words run through her brain.  _ Not fair! Not Fair! Not Fair! _

David grunted huskily and muttered to himself. “Have to give both tits equal treatment now don’t we?” She bit back her scream the second time, she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction as he violated her. 

He hit her face with his hand then smashing her cheekbone and for one terrifying moment she wondered if it was broken. 

The happy voice of Lizzy filled the room. “Don’t damage her face!”

David growled poking, punch and squeezing Noodle’s torso in between every word, “Sorry---I----Just---Get---So--- Into---My--- Work!” His abuse seemed too juvenile and somehow that made it worse. This wasn’t what she thought rape would be, this was just silly madness that she couldn't stop! She wanted to cry and laugh at the same time over the absurdity. She was so helpless and she had never been helpless before! As she looked into the man’s eyes hoping that maybe he would see her humanity and stop but all she saw in his eyes was joy, pure seething joy. He  _ loved _ this. 

She knew she couldn’t stop him but she kept fighting against his unforgiving grip and he was getting off on it more. He spoke, voice hitching. “You're a fighter, but now you can’t do _anything.”_ He leaned down to her ear and whispered causing shivers of revolution to break out all over her body. “How does that feel, Noodle?” She shied away from him, desperately wanting him to stop enjoying this and she felt that if she stopped struggling he would be less turned on by her pain, but to do that, to just let this happen without even trying to struggle... That just wasn’t her, she was a fighter! If this was going to happen she didn’t want to be a willing partner.

He grabbed the top of her shorts and forced them down, ripping out a handful of her pubic hair with it. She cried out in pain again “Ahhhh! Stop it! Leave me alone!!!”

He grinned at her while he was masterbating himself with the hand not holding her arms. “And why would I do that?” 

Suddenly he forced himself inside her and Noodle felt a part of herself die. Just something inside her that was warm and happy just ceased to exist in that one instant.

Her body felt like it was splitting apart from pain that shot up and down her body and her soul felt like it was being butchered. She was still futailly fighting against him but she didn’t even know why. As she let her body go limp from apathy David orgasimed into her body. He liked the part when the feisty ones gave up. She felt  _ numb _ .  _ So numb _ . Tears were falling down her face but she wasn’t even aware of them. 

David dragged on finger down Noodle's cheek slowly before jumped off her. He got his pants back up and smirking at her while he finished zipping up. “Until tomorrow.” He walked through the darkness and disappeared.

Suddenly the blackness of the room disappeared into a blinding yellow light all around her. She blinked and she was sitting on a concrete platform with a large banner above her that said  _ WELCOME TO HELL!!! _

Noodle couldn’t believe it, she was in a hellscape around her that had a multitude of buildings and people going about their business, most of them looking angry, crying or about to cry. It was like London but with a lot more fire everywhere and the color scheme seems to be just in red, yellows, oranges and black tones. 

Lizzy came running up to the platform and embraced her. “Noodle! Welcome to Hell!” Noodle looked around her shaking and looked at Lizzy trying to convey her confusion and desperation. 

Lizzy grinned at her. “What you were in was your own personal hell! You'll have more of that, about an hour a day, but the rest of the time you can be here with everyone else.”

Noodle was just in too much shock to process all of this and just sat there shaking. Lizzy grabbed her arm and lifted her to a standing position and started pulling her down a multitude of allies while Noodle cried and had spasms of pain go through her body from the violation she had just experienced. 

Eventually they came to a shitty, squished, apartment building. Lizzy press a key into Noodle’s hand and gestured to the door. “This is the flop house for people who aren’t permanent residents. It's really shitty, but, you should find it a lot better than solitary! Make sure to get out and meet some people, Hell doesn’t have to be all bad y’know?” Lizzy gave Noodle a couple friendly pats on the shoulder

Noodle was feeling emptier than she ever could have imagined and said in a husky whisper, “Why are you doing this?”

Lizzy had that same manic smile on her face. “Because this is hell. We do bad things here."

Noodle said in a small sobbing gasp. "But why!?"

"There isn't any logic to most of life, there isn't here either. Deal with it sweetheart." Lizzy pushed open the door and shoved Noodle in.

Noodle walked into a room with a bunch of bedbug infested cots and lay down shivering feeling like a stranger in her own body. At some point during the night she fell asleep.

***

When Noodle woke up she saw a familare charred face looking at her. "Hey there Noodle!"

Noodle burst into tears seeing someone she knew. "Cuthbert! You found me! Can you get me out of here!? I don't belong here! I---I---was raped!"

Cuthbert laughed. "Ofcourse I can't get you out of here! Bubs would sentence me to disappear forever if I did that! But you shouldn't be so upset, come on let me take you around town, show you the sites!"

Noodle shook her head. Her body hurt, she didn't fancy going for a stroll today, plus she felt too messed up in her head for anything else but Cuthbert wasn't going to take no for an answer. Noodle felt his charred little hand grab hers and pull her up. 

He took Noodle to the  _ ocean,  _ which had legions of forgotten soul wailing in molten lava. They went to Suicide Tower, the tallest point in hell, where souls would fling themselves off and splatter themselves on the ground before reforming all in the name of fun. Then Noodle and Cuthbert went to a coffee house that sold really good coffee so long as it was extra dark roast. At the coffee house Noodle ran into a man in a tweed jacket with a beard and a cigar who motioned at her to come over while speaking in a thick German Accent. "Come here, little girl!"

Noodle was just going through the motions all day and found herself wanding over to the beckoned man. As she came over to him as he leaned forwards on a coffee table and holding one nostril snorted up a line of white powder. " _ Snaaf!  _ Ahhh thats good! Not as good as on the other side but still good!" He focused his attention on Noodle. "Now why do you look so sad young woman?"

Finally someone was willing to hear what happened to her! She started crying as she spoke. "I was raped! As soon as I came here a man raped me and I couldn't fight him off! I tried so hard but I couldn't stop it!"

The man nodded, lips pressed together. "Your sexually attracted to your father and that's why you are having this fantasy."

Noodle blinked in confusion. "It wasn't a fantasy! I was raped!"

The man looked at her sympathetically. "You are a woman, so it is hard for you to not lie, but it is a fantasy. Admit you lust after your father and maybe you can have a hope of finding a man who will look over you. You haven't had any sexual fantasies about women have you?" Noodle just stared at the old man as she tried to process someone denying her trama. 

Cuthbert grabbed Noodle's hand and tugged her away. "Best not to talk to him. He will start talking about how you need a penis to not be weak willed and amoral and I hate when he goes on about that... Amoral, haha! He's here so you know how that went!" 

Suddenly everything was gone and Noodle found herself in darkness again. She whipped her head around panicking and then she saw David glaring at her again. It was a repeat performance of the day before, Noodle fought and didn't stop him and once he was done he disappeared and she found herself shaking on the floor of the coffee shop. Cuthbert ran up to her. "They never give a warning before they take you... They really need to fix that system, it's difficult to plan your day out when you could disappear at any time."

Noodle wrapped her arms around her legs and sobbed into her knees. "Why are they doing this to me!?"

The boy shrugged. "Everyone here in hell has an hour where they are pulled into their own personal hell. Old man Siggy, who you were talking to, gets molested by his father. Hitler's hell is being gassed to death. Mine is being burnt to death."

Noodle shook her head, "But why am I being raped!?"

The Demon boy gave her a pat on the shoulder that she pulled away from with a whimper. "Well you haven't done anything hell worthy in your life and nothing terrible happened to you so they just picked something for you."

Noodle looked into the boy's yellow slitted eyes. "Take me back home! I want to be with my family!  _ Please!" _

The boy sighed and shook his head. "I told you, I can't do that! It's really not that bad, you'll see it will just become part of your life that you just have to get over every day and then you can live the rest of the time. Just lock it away into a tiny little part of your mind and never think about it!"

Noodle's body shook on the floor as she stared at the boy in horror, she didn't want it to become just a part of her life! She didn't want to be  _ okay _ with it.

***

At first Noodle held on tightly to the hope that Murdoc would come and save her from Hell. That hope dimmed every day and as years passed Noodle knew she would never leave.

Eventually Noodle gave up fighting David. It was never okay and it hurt her every day, but she did try to forget about it when it wasn't happening. It was just a terrible, awful part of her, over all not great, life. She did start to build a new existence of sorts in hell. One of the best ways she found to cope with her inner turmoil was to let it out on the battlefield. 

There was always war going on in hell. The legions of soldiers and respective warleaders still wanted to fight in death and they were always mounting battles with each other, regardless of the fact that the next day after all the soldiers were killed they would just rise again to live out their eternal damnation. 

Noodle, being a mortal, was in a precarious position going into battle as she would not just respawn like the soldiers, but as the years went on and she felt like Murdoc was never going to come save her she gave less of a thought to getting out of hell and only wished to release her anger and hate while coming onto the battlefield as a rogue agent. 

The biggest war going on currently was between Hitler and Napoleon and Noodle would come onto the battlefield guns blasting as she hit, and avoided, Nazis and French Soldiers. She was far more skilled than they were and as she shot them to bits she felt a small part of her numb self take joy in hurting someone. She told herself it wasn't bad for her to shoot up the soldiers because they were all damned to hell so they weren't good anyway and after all she wasn't killing them, more like resetting them. After a long day of fighting she would walk her sore, sweat stained body into town where the Cuthbert would often find her and bother her to hang out with him somewhere. 

Often they would go to an open mic music club and hang with hell's greatest musicians which was surprisingly a lot fewer than one might have expected. Noodle was rather sad that Hendrick wasn't there to rock out with, though she was happy for him not being in Hell, ofcourse.

Instead she spent most of her time rocking out with the likes of Frank Sanatra, and Elvis. Elvis tried to flirt a lot with her the first couple of years, but quit after a year or so saying disappointedly. "You're not young and vibrant anymore! After 16 everything goes downhill."

Noodle made friends with many people in hell. Her friendships weren't great, or close, but it was better than nothing and years of being with Murdoc had taught her how to deal with people she disagreed with. Her closest friend was Cutbert who seemed to have a loyalty to her from her childhood days.

Years passed and she wondered why Murdoc never came. They were a family weren’t they? Why didn’t Murdoc come? Didn’t he care about her at least a little, tiny, bit? Just enough to save her.

***

Once Murdoc realized the parachute was never deployed he wallowed around Kong Studio getting even drunker and trying to think about what might have happened to Noodle until he stumbled to the Hell Hole in Kong Studio and found a letter marked with  _ THIS IS YOUR FINAL NOTICE _ . The letter was telling Murdoc to get his ass down to Hell and give over his soul. After all the albums Gorillaz AND Demon Days had both been international successes and he was a star. Payment was due.

On top of that they had Noodle. 

Murdoc took in this info. He nodded slowly to himself and dropped the letter on the ground. He was going to do the only thing he could think of. Go on the lam. 

Soon Murdoc found himself in America illegally running high capacity rifles into Mexico to a group of pirates called the Black Cloud. That in itself wasn't a bad thing for him. He had tons of contacts and with his high persuasion skills made it easy for him to get out of sticky situations. Where his plan really had fallen apart was the guns he bought from a shady dealer in China where shite.

Once the Black Cloud found that most of their gang was dying because of guns backfiring they were pissed and swore vengeance on a certain green skinned deviant. In their quest for vengeance they reached out to Satan, who was getting really tired of Murdoc’s bullshit. Satan assigned the Boogieman to collect Murdoc.

In need of money and a place to hide out Murdoc found himself back at Kong Studio.

He had finished placing a collection of handmade bombs around the place and was just finishing wiring them together. His plan was to blow up the building and cash in on the insurance but now he found himself in front of the doorway that led to the Hell Portal. If he was going to blow up the building the portal would collapse and he wouldn’t be able to go down there and there was one thing that had been tugging at the edges of his consciousness for the last two years... 

Murdoc looked at Cortez, who was on his shoulder, and signed. "Well, fuck. I've got pirates after me up here and Satan after me down below. What is a stunningly talented and good looking bloke like myself going to do? Can't go down there I'll be walking right into Satan's hands..."

Cortez flew to the door and found the older letter on the ground, which he picked up in his beak and brought back to Murdoc.

Murdoc signed and read the letter over again, biting his lip as he thought about Noodle still stuck down there. "Your right. I can't just leave Noodle there. She's the best guitarist Gorillaz could ever have. I guess I gotta go save her."

Cortez walked up Murdoc's arm again and bit his ear lobe and tugged it. 

Murdoc shook his head. "NO! I don't care about the little brat! It's for the greater good of the band! Nhuhhh."

Cortez squacked and flapped his wings quickly against Murdoc's face to show how much bullshit that last comment was. 

Murdoc growled. "Enough you feathery arse! Fine. I don't want Noodle to be stuck in Hell! I'll go and get her."

***

Murdoc dived down into the Hell Hole enjoying how the fiery heat licked his skin. It has been a long time since he had gone below. He used to enjoy hanging with all the most evil people in the world. 

As the blinding light of the Hell Hole faded Murdoc found himself on the WELCOME TO HELL PLATFORM. Hell really did work just like Earth. You were expected to come down after being summoned, just like in the judicial system. And just like the judicial system they would drag your ass if you didn't get down their on your own. Of course they had to catch you first, and Murdoc did not want to be caught. His plan was to find Noodle and get out. Murdoc kept his head on a swivel trying to spot her. 

_ “Halt in the name of the Dark Lord!” _

Murdoc’s body froze as he felt two strong claws grasp his biceps. He hasn’t been down here 5 minutes and he was already caught! He looked from side to side at two very tall and buff demons who were grasping him. “Oi, is that you Larry!? You’re looking good, lost some weight didn’t ya!? And Benny! How are the kids!?”

The demons didn’t respond and instead lifted Murdoc up so he was just being held by his arms and his feet were helplessly peddling in air as they carried Murdoc forward.

Eventually Murdoc found himself in a great throne room with lava oozing down the walls and in the middle was a very tired and harassed looking Satan. 

_ “FINALLY GOT YOUR GREEN ASS DOWN HERE MURDOC!” _

Murdoc grinned apologetically. “I’m sorry, so many things going on up there ya know? Time just got away from me… You know I wouldn’t have been trying to avoid you!”

_ “ENOUGH! BOW DOWN SO YOU CAN BE SMITED!” _

“Ahhh--- Ahhhh--- Waaaiittt a minute! What about pleasantries!? Aren't you going to offer me tea or something!?”

Satan stood up and grasped a long claymore in his two red clawed hands.  _ “YOU HAVE FUCKED AROUND WITH ME LONG ENOUGH! DEATH COMES NOW!” _

Murdoc was on his knees begging. “Do you really think I have ceased to be useful!? Come on Bubs! Let’s make a deal! I know I’ve got something you want!”

Satan lifted the great sword up and tensed his muscles ready to strike. “I WANT MORE SOULS! I ALREADY HAVE YOURS WHAT ELSE CAN YOU GIVE ME!?”

A lightbulb went off in Murdoc’s head and a salacious grin spread across his face. “What if I could get you the soul of a pure and gentle heart? One that certainly isn’t going to come down here on their own?”

Satan’s eyes narrowed.  _ “AND WHAT WOULD YOU WANT IN RETURN?” _

“More time! I am a rock star! Let me bask in it! Let me get the band back together and write out as many albums as we can! You’ll have my soul but we never set a date…. Oh, and give me back Noodle!”

Satan leaned back and thought about it. “WHO IS THIS PURE AND INNOCENT SOUL?”

Murdoc shook his head in surprise. “2D ofcourse!”

The Devil nodded.  _ “I WILL GIVE YOU MORE TIME FOR THE SOUL OF STUART POT BUT I WILL NOT GIVE YOU BACK NOODLE. SHE IS COLLATERAL.” _

Murdoc scowled. “Now, that's not fair! I need her to make a new albu---” 

Murdoc suddenly found himself outside the Hell Hole. Cortez flew over to his shoulder and muttered sweet nothings into his ear. Murdoc sighed and looked into the Hell Hole. “I tried to get her. I tried. Did the best I could… And now I have to get 2D to sign away his soul….” Murdoc felt shitty about this turn of events but tried to focus on the task at hand. Blow up Kong Studio, cash in the insurance and buy a sweet getaway to hide from the Black Cloud who still wanted him dead. Maybe then he could get a new album going. That would make everything right again.

***

When Russel and 2D decided to look for Noodle they came up with a game plan questioning everyone they could and learning that the dead man found at the crash site was Jimmy Manson which led them to search out all of the American contacts for their label as well as the Satanic Cult that Manson was part of.

2D and Russel decided to split up to cover more ground and they went around the world, several times over, trying to follow leads of where Noodle might have gone. 2 years passed and 2D found he was floundering around, just picking up odd jobs, following leads for Noodle and taking pills whenever and wherever he could get them. If he could just find Noodle again everything would be okay, they could get the band back together and be the dysfunctional family they always were and do the thing he knew and liked doing, music.

Then one day while looking out his window of his hotel Beirut where he had been busking with his melodica, he was thinking he should give up on looking for Noodle. It had been years, he couldn’t find her. She was gone, she was probably dead. The thought hurt, but it had been so long, why was he even still looking? Maybe he could, maybe he SHOULD, do something else with his life, maybe be a lawyer, or actor or make thatch roofs! Anything would be better than this lost wandering. While he thought about the many different directions his life could go, he saw a funny green gas filling up his room and then he blanked out completely.

***

When 2D woke up he was in a small dark space and he felt very squished. His knees were in his face and his back and sides were so excruciatingly sore. He struggled but nothing seemed to move, eventually he gathered all his strength and pushed his legs out as hard as he could and with a pop found he was suddenly blinking his dark orbs at harsh sunlight on a fairly idyllic beach looking out at the ocean. Looking down he saw he was sitting in an old suitcase.

Murdoc’s oily green mug came into view. “Oi, you wanker, you're finally here. Nhuh-uh-uh, You only had a bit of gas in you, it's been days you've been in that suitcase.

2D tried to collect his thoughts and he was suddenly becoming aware of the pounding in his head, the shakes, the sweats, damn he could use some pills. “Uggg, Muds! Wot the ‘ell are you doing ‘ere?” 

“Welcome to our new home, Plastic Beach! Uh--uh--uh the  _ Republic _ of Plastic Beach! And I am the sole overlord of this glorious land!" Murdoc swung his arms open wide and did a little jig of joy while 2D took a closer look at his surroundings. He was on a small island that had a large tower of plastic garbage melted together about five stories high and painted a bright pink. On top of the tower was a bit of fake grass, fake palm trees and a three story bungalow. Murdoc clapped excitedly and drunkenly to regain 2D’s attention. “You're here because I'm getting the band back together again. You've been taken away from your boring life to make some earth shattering music! Yeah!” 

2D shook his head and looked up at Murdoc while trying to block out the sun with his hand. “Muds, it's been so long…”

Murdoc got right up into 2D’s face sending spittle onto his face as he talked. “I know, but that's the beauty of it! No one will be expecting it! 

2D sniffled and looked to the side trying to gain some space from Murdoc and get his bearings. “Ugg, lef, me ‘lone, Muds.” 2D grabbed a handful of sand and made a little surprised squeak and let go of the sand to see his palm bleeding. Looking at the ground he realized it was full of shards of glass, hard plastic and other assorted debris. There was no sand on this beach just ground up trash. 

Murdoc leaned in closer to 2D and twirled a lock of his blue hair around a gnarly finger. “Awww, don’t be like that bluebird... I’ve got someone here you’ll be happy to see!” Murdoc quickly pulled his hand away from 2D, pulling out a few strands of hair that hand gotten caught in Murdoc’s chipped nail, to make a grand sweeping gesture to the side and there standing looking at 2D was Noodle, exactly as 2D remembered her.

2D’s heart jumped and he scrambled out of the box and rushed over to her. He wrapped his long limbs around her little form hugging her with all his might as tears of relief were coming down his face. “Noods, oh facken ‘ell, Noods, luv, yew’re alright! I thought yew were dead, oh bloody 'ell, yew're 'ere!”

But she didn’t hug him back. She didn’t move at all. She just stood there. 2D let go of here and stepped back. “Noods?”

Murdoc let out an outrageously loud laugh. “Mhuh, uh! Your facking soft in the head Stu-pot! This lovely little darling is Robot Noodle! Pretty ingenious if I do say so myself. She looks like Noodle, plays like Noodle, fights like Noodle, well, fights better than Noodle, and programmed to protect me.”

The tears of relief 2D had turned to pure rage. “YEW FACKING BASTERED, THIS IS ALL YOUR FACKING FAULT!” 2D jumped at Murdoc and started hitting him with all his lanky fury. “GO TO FACKING ‘ELL AND BURN!”

Then a gunshot went off, leaving a bullet in the wall of the plastic tower above 2D’s head. 2D looked to the side and saw a smoking shotgun in Robot Noodle’s hands. He stopped hitting Murdoc mid punch. 

Murdoc giggled manically. “Heh, heh. Soft in the head. I just said she is programmed to protect me. Now, you going to play nice or do you need to learn your lesson from her, personal like? Nhuh....”

2D, let go of Murdoc and slumped down to the floor staring off into the distance ocean. “Fine, I won’t ‘urt yew, but I’m not staying ‘ere.” 

Murdoc snaked his head from side to side as he tried to figure out an angle to come at 2D from. “2D, look, I want you to stay here of your own free will, you know I do… But I got you here through a lot of trouble and I can’t just let you waltz out of here! I picked this place after a lot of searching, y’know? This island is the furthest away from any other landmass on Earth so we can have privacy to create a masterpiece! I’ve also arranged some insurance that you will stay.” 2D looked at horror towards Murdoc, who crouched down and patted 2D on the shoulder. “You know it comes from a place of  _ love _ and  _ respect! _ You’re the best singer I could ever write for… Come on, my little blue bird, lets make some music together again, it will be like old times! I got a list of songs all written and ready to record! 

2D shook his head and held it with his hand. While he was currently going through withdrawal with a terrible pounding headache his brains felt sharper than they had in years. “Are yew threatening me!?”

Murdoc gave him a small double take. “This has been our entire relationship y’know? Why are you surprised now?”

2D thought about it and nodded. “I guess yewr right… But how are we going to make a record without Noodle or Russel?!” 

Murdoc sighed, really dealing with 2D was hardly worth it some days, “2D, mate, get this through your thick head, we have Robot Noodle. As for Russel I have a beatbox machine for now.”

2D was shaking his head to himself. “Yew’re going to replace our bandmates with machines!? I still fink we should find Noods and Russ.”

Murdoc shrugged. “Russ is completely off the grid and Noodle, she, uh, doesn’t want to be found! Look I know she's out there, but uhhh, oh fack it. Look, here’s the story. See, you know, I’ve made a bit of a deal with the devil. Well, the devil is holding onto Noodle and is trying to hold her as bait to get me to give him what he wants.”

2D mulled this over in his battered head for a few moments. “So yew’re a piece of shit Muds! Why don’t yew go down there and get ‘er back!?”

Murdoc put his hands up to protest. “I did try! But I had some other debts I needed to pay off first and now I need to give the Devil something else before he’ll release her… But I’m still working on it! Look I’m the best hope she has of getting back! Just stick with me and we’ll get her here in no time.

2D was pouting as he felt edgy and stressed and all the stuff Murdoc was telling him was making his head hurt more than the migraine he already had. “And why should I trust yew? This is all your bloody fault.”

“You don’t have to trust me, you're here whether you want to be or not 2Dents. Singing is all you are good for, you were born for this! You and me, yeah…?” 

2D found he was shaking. He didn’t want to be here, wherever the hell here was. He didn’t want to do this. But then again he didn’t have any other realistic ideas of what to do with his life. Murdoc wasn’t going to let him go so the point was moot anyway, and the old goth wasn’t so bad, especially when they were making music. It would be nice to do that again… 

Plus, there was something else that could help him get through this. 2D voice was shaky as he asked the most important question. “Got any pills, Muds?”

Murdoc grinned, showing his sharp teeth. He produced an orange pill bottle from his pant’s pocket and shook it in front of 2D’s face. “Merry facking Christmas Faceache.”

***

Murdoc had held off on getting 2D to sign the contract to sell his soul. He didn’t really know why. It would be easy enough, just get 2D stoned out of his mind and make him scribble his name down. 2D would probably even add a little smiley face after his signature. No, Murdoc figured he could hold off on that for the moment, use it as leverage against the Devil at sometime in the future even if it meant Noodle wouldn’t get out of Hell. Murdoc did want to get Noodle out, but if it was a guitarist or a singer… Well Murdoc had picked 2D over a guitarist before. Plus Noodle wasn’t damned there for her afterlife. If 2D signed he would spend eternity in Hell.

Murdoc gave 2D the grody, rust covered basement of the floating island to live in with one porthole to look out into the oceans depths with. At first 2D was excited with his underwater view, sitting on his bed and, seeing the quiet and beautiful depths with the occasional pretty school of fish, but then he saw The Whale.

Rushing up stairs, two at a time, and panting from the effort 2D made it to the ground floor where Murdoc was dumping whisky into a watermelon in the kitchen. “MUDS! There’s a whale in the ocean!”

Murdoc turned to 2D in mock horror. “No shite, Faceache. Is there really!? A whale… In the ocean… Imagine…”

2D sat cringing on the couch, legs curled up to his chest arms on his head, shaking and panting. “I hate whales! Always did, ever since Pinoccio!” 

Murdoc sighed tapping on his watermelon. “I know, you kept scrawling it on the baffroom doors in Kong Studio… I hate whales… That really gave away the fact that you hated whales...  _ Anyway _ , his name is---is  _ Massive Dick _ . Yeah? I’ve been paying him to watch you. Make sure you don’t try scampering away…”

2D was rocking himself. “Awwww Muds! Why would yew do that!!!! Aaaawwwwnnnnnn….” 

Murdoc shrugged at him, “I don’t know, you get silly thoughts in your head all the time, thought some extra insurance you wouldn't run away would help… Nhuh.” The whisky bottle having drained into the watermelon Murdoc put the watermelon under his arm and started to go off. 

2D started to hyperventilate and was clawing at his face with his long fingers. “I can’t sleep wif that fing staring me down!” 

“Well close the bloody curtain than.” Murdoc said stepping into the janky elevator to go to his room.

“Awwwww…” 2D pawed at his face a bit more and then resolved to go down stairs again. Going much slower down the stairs he got to the basement door. Taking a deep breath he pushed the door a crack and checked out his porthole window. It was just dark blueness outside. Opening the door the whole way he hurried to his window and just as he was about to close the curtain when…. A giant eye filled the porthole!

2D screamed his lungs out and ran as fast as his lanky legs would take him back to the ground floor. Making it back to the living room he was really huffing and leaning against the wall, head feeling dizzy and legs feeling weak and shaky.

A funny deep monotone voice spoke to him. “I’m the Engineer. It’s only one floor up, why are you so out of shape?” 2D looked down and saw a small potato shaped man three feet below him.

2D screamed at being startled by the little man. “Acccckkk!” Seeing the small man wasn’t going to attack him 2D relaxing a little and trying to regain some composure and get to the matter at hand he said, “The-there is a whale in my room!”

Speaking in the same monotone drawl the Engineer said, “A whale couldn’t be in your room. Your room is too small. I didn’t ask about that, I asked why you were panting like a centenarian on a stairmaster.”

2D shouted throwing his hands up at the little man. “I don’t facking know! I always feel weak and dizzy! I don’t care about that, I just need ta stop seeing that whale! He wants me blud!”

The Engineer blinked slowly at him. “You should eat more, you look very skinny and probably have anorexia.”

2D kneeled down so he was at eye level with the little man and grabbed his shoulders “I don’t facking care. I just need that whale ta stop looking at me! Please! Help me!” 

Another slow blink from the Engineer. “I want some tea.”

2D's brows knitted in confusion at the non sequitur. “Ummmm…. Okay, I can do that… If yew help me wif the whale.”

The Engineer gave a curt nod and together they descended the stairs. The Engineer went through the door first while 2D stayed behind, peaking out a crack in the door and watching. The Engineer slowly, with purpose, plodded over to 2D’s bed, climbed on it and then closed the curtains on the porthole. He looked back at 2D and stated matter of factly at him. “‘S done.”

Cautiously 2D came in the room, looking around in case of any other whales. “Fanks… I feel much better…”

Blinking his large eyes the Engineer asked the most important question. “Tea time?”

2D gave a nod and smiled showing his missing front teeth. “Yeah, right…”

They went back upstairs, 2D again panting and holding onto the kitchen table to recover his breath. The Engineer stated again. “If you weren’t anorexic, you could be making my tea already.”

2D straightened up. “ _ Huff _ , I appreciate wot yew did, but why can’t yew make yew’re own tea?”

The Engineer sat down on a kitchen chair. “It always tastes better when someone else makes it.” 2D couldn’t argue with that logic. He started putting the water on as the Engineer completed his order. “Lady Grey, milk and sugar.” 2D searched all the cabinets in the unfamiliar kitchen and eventually found the tea cabinet and got a Lady Grey and a Peppermint tea bags and a couple of chipped tea cups before sitting down again smiling at the little man.

The Engineer slowly scanned the kitchen table with his eyes. “Where are the biscuits?”

2D cocked his head to the side. “Wot?”

The Engineer continued in his slow and plodding way. “Tea has to have biscuits.”

2D looked at the cabinets around him. “Oh, I don’t know where there are biscuits…”

The Engineer quickly whipped out his finger and pointed. “They are in the cupboard above the stove.”

2D was confused. “Yew just asked where they were!?”

The Engineer continued not changing his tone. “It was a rhetorical question as you clearly should have already brought them out, as we are having tea, and tea requires biscuits. This is child's learning.”

“Right.” 2D said grabbing the tin of biscuits and opening it in front of the Engineer. "So wot do yew do 'ere?" 

The Engineer grabbed a biscuit and chewed it methodically. "I am the keeper of garbage. I was put on this island to look after it. When the green man came he asked me to make the robot girl."

2D shivered thinking about the monstrosity that was Robot Noodle. The water boiled so he also filled up their cups. “Is there anyone else on the island?”

“Just, you, me and the green smelly one. Occasionally he brings in other people, but they only stay a day or two. He never gave them their own room before so I guess you might be staying.”

2D sighed glumly at his tea. “Yeah, Muds likes ta keep me ‘round. Must be lonely ‘ere for yew.”

“I don’t get lonely. This was a wonderful conversation. Thank you.” The Engineer abruptly stood up, grabbing a biscuit and his tea and scurried off to the elevator.

“Oh. I get lonely…” 2D muttered, picking up a biscuit, looking at it and then putting it back in the tin. He just didn’t feel like eating. Grabbing his tea he decided to wander the “beach.”

The beach was pretty damn depressing being a mass of plastic garbage held together by oil sludge and then Murdoc had the whole thing painted an ungodly color of pink, for some reason. Still the ocean air smelled good and 2D enjoyed sitting out on the hard plastic garbage and watching the waves roll as far as the eyes could see in all directions, so long as he didn’t see any whales. 2D then wandered to the top floor of the floating monstrocity where there was a large porch that was covered in hard plastic grass with a hammock on it. 2D sat down on the hammock and threw a cigarette in the air trying to catch it in his mouth. It fell to the ground. He continued to throw cigarettes in the air trying to catch them in his mouth until all the cigarettes in the pack were surrounding him on the ground. He sighed, picking the fallen cigarettes up and put all, save one, back in the pack. Finally placing the cigarette in his mouth he lit up and took a long inhale. Well this was his life now, better settle in.

  
  


***

2D was sitting in his room, a clown mask with large yellow eyes, a long blue nose and a happy red smile on it’s lips on top of his head. He had found the mask while he was wandering the beach. It had been under a bag full of plastic water bottles which had protected the mask from being spray painted pink. He liked the mask, it made him feel safer when he put it on his face. It put some distance between himself, the whale and Murdoc.

2D didn't know if it was day or night. He had no circadian rhythm to speak of; all he knew was that sometimes he was awake instead of in the Void, and that sucked. He had put on the movie “Fido” to lift his spirits. As one of his favorite lines came up, he sang it along with the actors: "In the brain and not the chest. Headshots are the very best!" He looked around and sighed. If Noodle was here, she would have quoted it with him. 

_ CLANG _

The janky elevator doors jiggled open, registering their complaint with an official sound of grating metal. Murdoc strolled forward. "Faceache, what the hell are you doing still in bed?" 

2D looked up at him. He figured this was his only shot at companionship for the moment, so he took it. "Watching a movie.... Do yew want to watch wif me? It's funny... And... romantic?"

Murdoc looked at 2D like he was trying to tell him the good news about Jesus. "No....... Get out of bed. We've got one more song to record and today is the day."

2D sat up quickly, eyes huge with anticipation. "One more song! Then it's over!? I can go!?"

Murdoc squinted at him and shook his head. "What the bloody fack!? No of course not! Then we go on tour! Nhuhhh."

2D sighed and got into a standing position, his lanky form slouching. "Okay then, let's get this over wif." 

***

  
  


Time dragged on and 2D found himself getting increasingly lonelier. Murdoc had supplied 2D with a good collection of horror movies and video games and bloopy machines but no one to play with or talk to. Robot Noodle didn’t talk, and although 2D did try to start several conversations with the beat box machine, they didn’t go anywhere. 

Murdoc would gas and bring over other guest artists all the time via submarine but they always just stayed in Murdoc’s room or were in the studio. 2D didn’t chat with them much and when they did it was usually something along the lines of “Where is that crazy green man!?”, “Please help me escape!”, and “I don’t want to die here!” 2D always tried to assure the captured musicians that Murdoc was happy to let them go after the recording but for some reason that never seemed very comforting to them, especially coming from a depressed, badly beaten, anorexic man.

2D found himself trying to reach out to Murdoc for more social interaction but that just left him getting hit in the head more. Without Russel and Noodle there wasn’t anything to distract Murdoc from abusing 2D. 

Murdoc even took the joy of making music away from 2D by subjecting him to the full force of his perfectionism and making 2D repeat the same songs over and over again without breaking and just yelling at him each time saying he didn’t sing well enough to do it again. 2D was lonely without his bandmates, constantly scared of being eaten by a whale and tired of Murdoc’s continual abuse. 

Eventually he just got into a cycle of coming up, working with Murdoc, going down to his room, having some pills to get to the Void, and watching horror movies until he fell asleep. 

He also started writing songs. He didn’t share these with Murdoc, and just wrote them to amuse himself and keep out some of the loneliness. He collected them in a file called “The Fall,” because fall was his favorite season, it was what demons did and it was what his fragile mental health was doing.

  
  
  


2D and Murdoc boarded the one submarine that connected Plastic Beach to the rest of the world. 2D shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "But Muds, what if the whale eats us?"

Murdoc was sorry he ever told 2D that lie about the whale. The whale was just an ordinary whale that seemed to like checking in on 2D but now, every two seconds 2D was having a panic attack about the damn thing. "Look Stu-Pot, I'm paying the damn thing so he won't eat us!"

2D fiddled with his fingers and bit the inside of his cheek. "But Muds, what if 'e doesn't know it's yew in there wif me?"

Murdoc had enough and he gave 2D a hard punch to the back of his head, so it wouldn't leave a noticeable mark. 2D saw sparks blasting around his head and smelt a funny burnt toast kinda smell, that smell always took him back to when he fell out of the tree and hit his head. The ever present headache started to come to the front of 2D’s mind. Murdoc growled at him, "Get in the damn ship."

2D did as he was bid, cradling his head and sniffling with Murdoc coming in close behind. 2D knew that Murdoc didn't want to hear from him but he was so lonely and his loneliness hurt even more then his head, plus he had to ask a question about the most important thing in his life. "Muds, did yew bring me pills?"

Murdoc grabbed 2D’s shirt and pulled him up close and growled at him, spittle flying out on to 2D's face. "Of course I brought your facking pills! Now for Satan's sake... Shut... The... Fack... Up! These waters are lousy with Pirates and Ruskies, we're on radio silence!" Murdoc pushed 2D backwards causing him to hit his head again on the ship's side, making a loud clang audible from 30 fathoms.

2D cradled his head as he sat on a small cot, trying to ignore the unsettling gaze of Robot Noodle opposite him and instead looking out the window of the submarine and crying as he thought every dark spot he saw in the endless depths was the whale.

***

When they finally got to shore 2D stepped onto land for the first time in a year. He made it! He wasn't eaten by the whale! He was shaking and crying as he bent down and touched the ground having a moment with Mother Earth until Murdoc kicked him in the backside and said "Get your scrawny ass up Faceache! We have to get on the bus."

2D looked at Murdoc and shook his head. "I don't want ta Muds."

Murdoc cocked his head to the side and looked at 2D. "What was that Stu-Pot?"

2D stood up, getting to his full height which was a good five inches taller than Murdoc, even in his cuban heels. "I said I don't want ta go on the bus."

Murdoc didn't like this and came up to 2D and hissed at him. "You don't have a choice."

2D shook his head. "I fink I do have a choice." He turned away and started to strut away while in the back of his mind wondering why he suddenly developed balls. Then, those said balls, got hit with the butt of a gun and with military officialness the gun slammed his back and head.

When 2D woke up he put a hand to the back of his badly pulsing head and felt a mass of crunchiness from dried blood. He opened his eyes and saw Murdoc smiling at him with a bottle of rum in his hand and a cigar. "I told you, you don't have a choice. Robot Noodle won't let you leave. Ever. So don't try or she'll hurt you more. I'd rather have you in working condition but I'll take you however I can."

2D didn't feel like crying or arguing, he just felt empty and confused, "Why?"

Murdoc took a swig of his rum and a long drag on his cigar holding his breath for a long moment. As he slowly released the smoke he spoke. "I wish it was me, Bluebird, I really do. Even with your face, being all beat up and sickly, they still want you! I wish all the fans were masterbating to the thought of me after the show, but there not. For some unfathomable reason, it's you. They are masterbating to you. Y'know?"

2D blinked slowly rocking his body in an effort to comfort himself. "Yew'r mean ta me cause people masterbate ah' me?"

Murdoc sighed, he was so tired of how slow 2D was. "If I was the singer I would be the star! Everyone would worship the ground I walked on, like they should! But they don't. I have to take second place. Annnnd if I'm going to be in second place, well at least it's to a brain dead bimbo like you. You might be the pretty face but you are nothing compared to me. Nothing!" Murdoc spat on 2D's bewildered face and grinned at him. "Clean up Bluebird, we have a show to do."

***

Noodle had been in Hell for 5 years. She was just finishing having an uncomfortably hot shower at the flop house she lived in and she was getting out when she saw herself in a cracked mirror and sighed at the emaciated body with a network of scars and cuts. David had made those scars on her while playing with his flip knife. He said he had started cutting her up to add some excitement to their time together. It made her hate her body, hate herself. She wish she could get out of her skin.

_ Now whenever you're naked you’ll think of me. _

She turned away from her reflection with tears in her eyes. She tried to get out of her cage. She really did, but in the end she gave up. She gave up on fighting and escaping and she just let it happen. It went a lot quicker that way. 

Sometimes she would try to talk to David but he only wanted to talk about was if she was in pain. She resisted falling into his fetish but eventually out of loneliness she started to talk about it with him.

That day Noodle was just laying there as David was pumping away at her looking bored. Noodle bit her lip and spoke in a quiet voice. “David?”

He grunted at her and hit her face with his hand. “Give me something to work with bitch, you were so fierce the first time but now your just so fucking boring!”

Noodle groaned in pain as she felt her blood rushing to her face and quietly she said how she felt. “I don’t like this David. I hate this. I hate you.”

David started pumping faster. “Yeah! Do you hate when I do this?” He punched her in the gut causing a shuddering spasm to go throughout her body and she cried out. 

“Aaaaahhh!  _ I HATE YOU _ " Noodle screeched at him.

He started punching her over and over again. “Well you're a piece of shit and you deserve this pain!” 

Noodle anger suddenly turned to sadness, she did deserve this! Otherwise Murdoc would have saved her! No one cared about her so she must deserve it. “I am shit and I do deserve this I deserve all of this!”

David licked her face and nuzzled into her ear. “You know I could kill you if I wanted to? Your case worker, Lizzy, has stopped watching us play, so she wouldn’t be able to stop me.”

Noodle thought that over, dying sounded nice, she never did anything wrong so maybe she could go to heaven! But that wasn’t what David would want to hear. She tried to get up enough huzpa to sound scared, “Please David! I don’t want to die!”

Whether she was convincing or not it was enough for David. “Well bitch why don’t we try?” He whipped out his flip knife and drew it along her throat gently once, then a little harder, leaving a blood trail. She stared into his eyes, hoping he would do it. He grinned at her and brought his knife back one more time across her throat getting ready for the killing slice. Noodle closed her eyes and gritted her teeth. Reincarnation sounded nice.

“LEAVE HER ALONE!” Cuthbert’s little burnt body appeared from the blackness looking furiously at David.

David laughed, the knife still poised over Noodle’s throat. “I can’t stop me! In fact you’ll be punished harshly for this transgression!”

Cuthbert scowled at David. “I can’t stop you, but Noodle can! I took away your unholy protection!”

Noodle felt her body surge with adrenaline at this news. Suddenly David was flying off of her as she kicked him in the gut with her powerful legs. 

_ “Guuk!” _ David found himself on the floor cowering as Noodle grabbed his neck in her hands and slammed his head down on the ground. She smashed it on the ground over and over again. Not stopping when he stopped trying to talk, or when he stopped moving. She didn’t stop when she heard the crack of bone or when she noticed the back of his head was flattened and leaking fluids. She only stopped when a small hand grasped her shoulder.

“Noodle, I have to get you out of here before they find me...” Cuthbert’s voice was shaky and scared and knocked Noodle out of her rage. 

Noodle slowly moved off of David’s body, her whole body shaking as she tried to take in what just happened. She felt a sickening satisfaction in her chest as she looked at David so broken and helpless at her feet and quietly she muttered under her breath. “I hope you stay dead.”

Cuthbert was pulling at Noodle’s pant leg, his voice stressed and desperate. “He’ll just come back again! Come on! We have to go!” 

Noodle looked down at him as he tugged her away into the darkness.

***

Noodle’s brains felt clouded with thoughts of rage as she let Cuthbert pull her along with his tiny clawed hand. Noodle could see nothing as they went through empty blackness. Suddenly stepped out of the blackness and was in front of a Hell Hole. Cuthbert turned and looked at her. His pupils tiny, scared, slits. “They are going to destroy me for helping you.”

Noodle shook her head, clearing the thoughts of David from it and focusing on her tiny friend. “What? Why!?”

“I’m a demon, I shouldn’t have done that… I threw away my immortality to get you out of here…”

Noodle felt a sudden panic rising in her chest. “No! Come with me to Earth we can---”

“If I leave Hell without being ordered too I will return to my actual body and that is just ash! Go. Find your friends! Stay out of here.”

“Cuthbert…” Noodle felt tears filling her eyes.

“You were my only real friend. I couldn’t have you die. Go on. I know you have other friends that need you…”

A cast of demons suddenly appeared from the blackness around them all coming to claim Cuthbert. Cuthbert looked at Noodle with tears going down his charred little face. He pushed her backwards into the Hell Hole.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking it with me. Next chapter is going to be heavy too, but at least we'll have more 2D.
> 
> 2D throwing the cigarettes is a tip of the hat to Damon Albarn who can be seen in this video being a silly goof and trying to do the cigarette trick and failing repeatedly.  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P5mlIau-DqQ


	9. Roller Coaster (Phase Three)

Cuthbert had opened the portal to land Noodle back at Kong Studio which was blown up from Murdoc’s insurance scam. Noodle, shaken, sad, and confused quickly went to town and went to a library to try and figure out where her friends were. 

Noodle, in tattered clothes, her face bruised and bloodied from David sat in the library, trying to ignore the questioning stares she got as she waited for the ancient computer to hum to life so she could figure out where her bandmates were. While she was waiting one of the librarians had handed her a pamphlet on how to leave an abusive relationship and asked if she needed help. Noodle gave a tight smile and shook her head. “No, I can take care of myself.”

A couple of quick Google searches later Noodle’s heart hurt as she saw that Murdoc and 2D had released an album and there was a girl with them that looked exactly like her before the island accident. She found her feelings wavering between rage at and forlorn sadness at being replaced. 

She looked through the promo photos, feeling shocked that Russel was also missing from them. She also noticed that 2D looked…. Bad. He was even skinnier than normal, nothing but skin and bones and he had a black eye in several pics, cuts and stitches in several others and his whole demeanor was scared and stressed. She missed her old friend and even though he was working with Murdoc without her, he didn’t look happy about it. 

She wanted to get back together with her band. She wanted to know why Murdoc hadn’t gotten her out of hell, where Russel was and she wanted to see her best friend 2D. Once she found the picture 2D posted with coordinates she knew what she had to do.

***

The tour was an utter failure as the pre show band kept having security block Murdoc, Robot Noodle and 2D from coming onstage and for one show just locked them inside the dressing room for the entire time. Murdoc was furious, but it wasn't at 2D. 2D was kinda sad that he wouldn't be able to go onstage and sing, he always liked performing, but since Murdoc wasn't mad at him, he was as okay as an abused, captive, man could be. 

The ride home had been treacherous as The Black Cloud had caught wind that they were touring in America and had started to chase Murdoc. This further terrified the already fragile 2D who found himself anxious to get back to Plastic Beach if it meant being away from The Black Cloud.

As the submarine made its way to Plastic Beach 2D was letting his dark thoughts wander when he heard Murdoc call to him, in a not abusive tone, from the captain seat of the ship. "Bluebird, come on up 'ere, I want to talk to you."

2D wandered over quietly arms crossed over his boney middle, squeezing his skinny sides anxiously. He stood silently next to Murdoc, waiting for the older man to speak.

Murdoc glanced over at him giving him a small snaggle toothed smile. "Ahhh, Bluebird, I know this has been a tough go for you. All this stuff with guns really isn't your cuppa. But I want you to know. You did good soldier."

2D didn't like Murdoc being nice to him. It felt dirty and it made him scared he twiddled his fingers as he muttered back. "Fanks."

Murdoc bit his lip, "I don't know what's going to happen next 2D. There are a lot of pirates coming after us. I think we can make it. Uuuuhf course we can! But... I just wanted… to… uh… wanted to reward you..."

2D felt like the words Murdoc was saying would lead to him getting punched but Murdoc's tone was throwing him off. "What's wrong Muds?"

Murdoc growled. "Nuffing is wrong! I just facking said that!” Murdoc sighed, he didn’t want to get angry. “Look…. Just... Here...." Murdoc pulled a bottle out of his pants and threw it at 2D. 2D lifted the bottle up and looked at it, it had a huge mass of pills in there, way more than the normal 4 or so a day Murdoc doled out.

Murdoc smiled at him almost sadly. "Don't go spending it all in one place..."

2D swallowed hard and whispered huskily. "Fanks."

***

Noodle, after a lot of hullabaloo at the bank and finally proved her identity and got into her bank account to withdraw money for some clothes, a mask to cover her badly bruised face, guns and a boat that was willing to take her to Plastic Beach. After the Black Cloud blew up the ship on their way to Plastic Beach, Noodle had run into an incredibly giant Russel.

Russel picked up Noodle’s little yellow raft boat off his head and it knocked Noodle over on her boat, dislodging her mask from her face. He looked Noodle over as he said in a booming voice. “No… Baby Girl… Is that you!?”

Noodle seeing Russel suddenly found herself bawling. “Oh Russel! Is that really you! I missed you so much! I---I---- What happened to you!?”

Russel quickly filled her in as he gazed at her. “I ate radioactive garbage while I was swimming out here and it made me giant… But Baby Girl! I never thought I’d see you again!!! Where were you!?”

“Hell…”

Russel ground his teeth making a very loud and unpleasant noise. “MURDOC!!!!”

Noodle nodded. “I need to share some words with him. Did you know they made an album without us!?”

“Yes… I was going to find them to share words about that… But now that I know where you’ve been. Have you been there all this time?”

Noodle nodded. “Hai…”

Russel shook his head. “Let’s go find the green bastard.”

***

2D held his treasured pills, reverently, all the way back to Plastic Beach. As they landed the sounds of helicopters could be heard coming after them. 2D wasted no time and rushed to the plastic building and ran down the stairs to get into his room in the basement before the pirates were on them, his precious bottle still in his hands.

Then he heard the pirates blasting the island from above. This was a larger attack than normal as bombs fell causing the island to shake with the impacts. The curtain to 2D underwater porthole shook open and he saw the whale, Massive Dick! It’s gaping maw stretching wide as it swam towards him. This was it! He was going to be eaten by that bloody whale! 

He didn’t know what stopped it, but suddenly was being pulled backwards away from him and flying out of the water. It looked like a giant hand grabbed Massive Dick and threw him out of the water, but that must just be the pills making him imagine things. All he knew was that he was still alive and he still heard a lot of fighting going on upstairs.

Whatever was going on he wanted it to all go away along with all his hurt. He had enough. Enough fear, enough pain, enough loneliness, enough abuse. Hell, Murdoc had practically suggested it himself to 2D. 

2D felt like his whole life, 32 years, had just been one long struggle to try and not drown, and for what? So he could just go through that whole struggle the next day? He was just existing for the honor of struggling through life. That wasn’t a life worth living in his book. No, the struggle could end here. If everything that hurt him in life wouldn’t go away, at least he could. So he opened the child safety lock, and with one quick motion, he downed the rest of the pills in his orange bottle swallowing it down with a warm beer that had been rolling around in his room since he moved in.

***

After Russel saved the day, grabbing the whale and throwing it at the airplane that had been attacking the island he released Noodle from his mouth. She came out and saw Murdoc, staring in wide eyed shock next to Robot Noodle.

Noodle stepped down to the beach and walked towards Murdoc who grinned at her showing off his sharp teeth. “Noodle! Love! Glad you're here! I knew you would make it outta He---”

_ SMACK! CRUNCH! “ _ AAAAKKKK!!!”

Noodle punched Murdoc in the face once again smashing his broken nose. Robot Noodle hoisted her gun at Noodle but before Robot Noodle could shoot Noodle had grabbed the barrel of the gun and kicked the Robot away before pointing the gun at the Robot.

_ BANG! _

Robot Noodle’s head was blown off it’s neck. Electricity spouting out of the neck of the Robot as it’s body spasmed and fell to the ground twitching.

Noodle dropped the gun to the ground and looked around the beach before focusing on Murdoc who was whining and holding his bloody nose. “Where is 2D!?”

***

The Void was grasping 2D mind with it’s tendrils while he lay on his back on his dirty bed. He moaned and felt tears slipping down his face. His thoughts were swimming in a sea of hurt as his clothes clung to his clammy body. He didn’t know if he could even get up, all his limbs felt so heavy, and he was so hungry. The only thing he could remember eating for the last several days was pills. The dull rumbling and hollow pain in his gut felt almost comforting as his stomach gnawed on the mass of pills. He liked that pain, it was familiar. It felt like something he could own. When everything else was all fucked up, he still had his pain there in the core of his gutty-wutts and this pain was novel compared to his headaches. 

_ I, 2D take thee, The Void, to have and to hold from this day forward… I pledge myself to yew. _

He turned to his bedside table to try and see if he had any more pills, just to confirm his commitment... On top of his already shitty vision from his fractured black eyes, the world was spinning around him and he couldn’t focus. He reached out a shaky hand and tried to move some of the garbage on his bedside table to find some extra Dilaudids or Codeine or Oxycodone or anything! But none of his pills seemed to be within arm's reach. His hand shook so much. He NEEDED more, but he didn’t know if he could get up. Fuck it, he had to try.

He used his already outstretched hand to grab the edge of the bed and pull him forward. Breathing heavily with effort he tried to swing his legs forward and stand up. With superhuman effort managed to get his legs in front of him and achieved a sitting position! Now to stand up.

Gathering all his remaining strength he forced his muscles to make him stand up, and then his world felt like it was on a Tilt-a-Whirl from his Dad's old fair. He needed to close his eyes, just for a moment, to try and summon his power again. Just one second and he could go shove some more opiates down his gullet…. He would make sure he took enough to make it all go away.

***

Murdoc led Noodle to the elevator, which smelled vaguely of piss for reasons that Noodle couldn’t fathom. Both people were dirty and worn down after all the fighting against pirates to secure Plastic Beach and Murdoc had blood going down his face and staining his white cable knit sweater. Noodle took in the the broken elevator buttons and pushed the one that said 2D’s Room. “2D’s room is in the basement?” She rested her body on the side of the elevator as it slowly shook on it’s way down. 

“Yeah, nice big room down there, with its own baffroom, really spoiling the boy.” Murdoc said, stretching his shoulders back with a pop and a grimmance. “It's a good thing you and Russ came when you did. Couldn’t a handled those pirates without you two, y’know? The were a bit much even for Robot Noodle...”

“I feel so special that you replaced me with a robot… It was quite unnerving to see that thing...” Noodle huffed sarcastically as she gently rubbed her sore forearms and stretched a pulled muscle in her leg. Suddenly she felt exhausted and really just wanted to lie down and go to sleep for a couple of weeks.

Murdoc leaned against the wall behind him. “You should feel special, she was a true piece of mechanical art! I just replaced Russel with a beat box…”

Noodle shook her head and squeezed the bridge of her nose trying to wake up her tired eyes, no matter how exhausted she was she needed to see her old friend. “Why 2D didn’t come up?” She hadn’t seen him in so long, she was disappointed he hadn’t come up and seen her on the beach and this damn elevator was taking forever.

Murdoc’s body tensed as he looked down at his shoes. “Who knows what Faceache has been up to.”

Finally the doors to the elevator opened with the sound of metal grinding on metal and Noodle stepped out scanning the shadowy room with her eyes and took in a damp salty smell. It was so dark with only one dim, flickering yellow light on above a messy bed and the floor was strewn with clothes, blankets, garbage, and instruments. Then her brain, sensing something wrong pointed her attention to some blue hair on the floor. Noodle mind blanked as she took in the crumpled up skeleton of a person lying, face down, on the floor, barefoot wearing a dirty red T-shirt and jeans. 

All her exhaustion was gone and, without thinking about it, she found herself running over to him and kneeling down next to 2D. “Toochi! What's happening!?” She put a hand on his shoulder, which was wet with sweat, as she rolled him over so his head was in her lap and looked at his taut, gaunt face with grey skin and thin blue lips. His open mouth was making a terrible gasping sound like he was drowning, it was the worst sound she ever heard and caused her body to shiver with fear and revulsion. It all clicked into place. 

"Toochi!!!!! No, no, no, no, no, NO!!!!" She looked over at Murdoc who was standing staring fixedly at 2D, body ridgid, behind her looking almost as worried and aghast as she was. "Murdoc!!!! Do you have Narcan?!!!!"

This knocked Murdoc out of whatever trance he had been in. “Uhhh, Yeah, right…” Murdoc rushed to the downstairs bathroom to grab the Narcan he had stashed there.

With some guilt, Noodle was slapping 2D’s face as hard as she could with her hands. He was so clammy and cold. “WAKE UP! Toochi, WAKE UP!” As she took in his unresponsiveness she made a fist and started grinding it into his chest. _I remember reading you should do this if someone is unresponsive but I don’t remember what it said to do if this doesn’t work…_ _What do I do!?_ “Wake up, I did not come back from Hell for you to die on me! Toochi, WAKE UP.” 

His terrible gasping breathing suddenly stopped---leaving an even scarier lack of all sound. “AAAAAAAAAH!!!! NOOOOO!!!!” Noodle screeched as she hit his chest one more time as hard as she could and then dropped his head on the floor, less carefully than she would have liked and it hit the ground with a thud that made her cringe. She put both her hands on his chest and she dug the heel of her hand into his skinny breast bone as she started to do thirty compressions as she focused on her meditation training and forced herself to ignore what ifs. Then she put her hands on his head tilting it back, opening his mouth and pinching his nose. Taking a huge breath she put her mouth on his unresponsive gaping maw and breathed as slowly and steadily as she could into him twice. As she went back to compressions she yelled to Murdoc who was taking his sweet time. “MURDOC WHERE ARE YOU!?” She gave 2D another breath.

Murdoc rushed over, skidding to a halt and accidentally dropping the bottle of Narcan on the floor while he struggled to get an orange cap off of a needle. Noodle grabbed the bottle before it rolled under the bed and quickly handed it back to Murdoc before breathing into 2D again. Murdoc filled the needle up and handed it to her with a shaking hand. 

Noodle, really hoped she was doing everything right and that she wasn’t forgetting something. It had been years since she had tried to remember what to do in this circumstance. Lifting up 2D's shirt sleeve she stabbed him as hard as she could in the small amount of muscle left on his boney shoulder with the needle and squeezed the syringe. Then she went back to compressions and breathing. Her thoughts were rather blank. She numbly thought about how many different ways she imagined her reunion with 2D, hugging, crying, laughing, smiling, but not this---anything but this.

After a few minutes, Noodle was getting light headed. She didn’t know how much longer she could keep this up and the longer it went on the harder it was to hold onto hope. She felt a desperate panic rising in her chest that threatened to take over as she went down to breath into him again. As she blew into his dry, cracked, lips she felt a tiny shuddering breath back.

She had never been more grateful for anything in life and silently thanked what every deities there were in the universe for not taking away her best friend. She looked towards Murdoc, her eyes stinging with tears of relief. “He’s breathing!” She relaxed into a sitting position and let the tears stream down as she looked at 2D who was rapidly retaining his color and taking stronger breaths with some involuntary twitches.

Then he sat up with a start, eyes huge as they darted around the room like a scared rabbit. “What the fack is happening?”

Murdoc had his arms crossed as he spoke in a strangely gentle voice. “Hey their faceache, you scared us.” 

2D was starting to hyperventilate as he grasped his head in his hands and rocked back and forth. “What the fack is happening! Everyfing hurts! Why am I awake! I promised myself to tha  _ Void _ \--- This---Yew---Everyfing---It was all gonna go away--AWWAA” Suddenly clutched at his chest making a small scream. “My ‘eart is beating so fast, I feel like ‘m gonna die!” Tears started to run down his face. “It wasn’t supposta ‘urt like this!”

Noodle grabbed one of his large sinewy hands in her small ones. “Take a deep brea---”

2D pulled his hand away from her venomously, “Don’t touch me!”

Noodle felt like he hit her in the heart, “But, Toochi…”

2D squinted at her with his dark sockets, then his eyes grew large and jaw hung slack as he started to reach out a shaking hand to touch her face. “Naw… It can’t be… Noodle!? Is that yew!? I---AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” He quickly retracted his hand and clutched his chest shaking and mouth open panting while tears and spittle fell from his face. “FACK! Everyfing 'urts! Where are me pills!?” He looked up at Murdoc desperately.

Noodle rubbed his boney shoulder with her hand and then moved her hand along his collarbone and up to the back of his neck feeling his vertebrae. “Toochi, breathe deep with me. Come on follow my breaths.” She started to take a deep slow breath.

2D wasn’t listening. “Naw, everyfing is spinning, my 'eart is gonna break, I… I…” He was looking all around him as he pulled his legs up to his chest and rocked back and forth like a little engine as his panic attack took him over.

Noodle shook him a little to gain his attention back. “Toochi, shut up. Breath with me. Deeeeep breath in!”

“I… I….” 2D tried to take a deep breath but only managed a shallow one. He wanted to throw up but he had nothing in his stomach to do that with except the pills that felt like a rock in the pit of his belly. He started futilely retching, only bringing up some flem that dropped from his mouth onto his knees as his body felt like it was trying to rip itself apart from the dry heaves.

He felt a hand on his back gently rubbing him as Noodle cooed. “Toochi, awww, Toochi, it’s gonna be okay.” 

His heart was beating faster than he ever thought it had in his life but he also felt the world fuzzing out and he wanted to fall asleep again, maybe he wouldn’t wake up this time. That would be nice. He started to close his eyes and slump back to the floor but the hand on his back shook him and wouldn’t let him fall back to the ground.

Noodle was on her knees and moved her hands around to 2D’s back and repositioning him so he was lying against the bed. “No, Toochi, stay with me. I didn’t come back for you to up and die the moment I got here!”

2D was mumbling under his breath as his head lolled into the crook of Noodle’s shoulder. “I’m so glad yewr ‘ere…. but everyfing ‘urts luv. I need me pills…” 

Noodle muttered into the man’s dirty blue locks. “I know, I know, come on, try to breath with me.” Noodle got him up against the bed and with one hand she grabbed both of 2D’s large paws while she put her other hand around the back of his head and up into his mess of blue hair helping to keep his head up and rubbing it as she continued to demonstrate slow breathing to him.

With a shuddering breath 2D looked at Noodle and tried to breath with her starting with a small wobbly one. Noodle grinned through her tears at his effort. “In….. Hold…. Out….” They were both crying and he was still shaking and his skin was still cold and clammy but he was starting to breath at a better rate as he looked into Noodle’s eyes. “There, see your okay, you're going to be okay.” Noodle encouraged him then looked up to Murdoc. “We need to get him to a hospital.” 

Murdoc, who had been looking deeply into his crossed arms was snapped out of whatever dark thoughts he had been thinking. “Why!? He looks great! You did a great job saving him Noodle! No need for a hospital!”

Noodle was trying to smile and breath with 2D again and glanced back up at Murdoc trying not to say anything that would alarm 2D. “I don’t think this is over…” 

Murdoc looked down into his arms. “Errr, I mean sure, it would take a couple days to get to land, but uhhhh, we could do that…. yeah...” 

Noodle looked at Murdoc, her jaw dropping, aghast. Then she quickly tried to temper her reaction. “What!? Okay… Okay, nevermind, guess we are doing this here.” She smiled again warmly at 2D who was calmer now and had a lot to say. 

“What the fack happend ta me? I want me pills. Fackkkkk….. Everyfing hurts…..” He was starting to work himself up again.

“Shhhh, Toochi, it's gonna be okay. You just had an overdose. We gave you some Narcan, which is why you feel like you’re having a heart attack, but you're going to be okay. Just keep working on those deep breaths. Deep…. Breaths...” Noodle said trying to demonstrate the breathing while squeezed 2D’s clammy hands.

Murdoc tried to lighten the mood. “She was really going at you mate, nhuh, most action you’ve had in years, shame you weren’t awake for it…” It did not work.

2D felt so many emotions; stressed, confused, in pain, scared, and tired. “I had an overdose…” He had wanted that, not the waking up part, just the overdose part. He managed it! But here he was and he didn’t know how he felt about still being here, but there was one emotion he was feeling that wasn’t negative, extreme happiness that Noodle was okay. He decided to focus on that and looked over at her giving her as good a smile as he could muster through all the pain. “Noods, I fought yew were dead! I’m so 'appy ta see yew! Are yew okay!? What ‘appened ta yewr face!?” He tried to lift his badly shaking hand to her face but couldn’t make it and let it fall back down again.

“Shhhh, Toochi, we can talk about all that later, don’t worry about it. Just calm down. You're going to be fine.” Noodle smiled at him with tears in her eyes. He was such a sweety, worrying about her when he just had an overdose. She leaned over and wrapped her arms around her friend as she hugged him tightly, nose in his unwashed hair as she cried onto his head. 

She used to hug and be hugged a lot by Russel and 2D but she hadn’t willingly touched anyone for years and she was sad that as she hugged this gentle man, that had never hurt her, she felt a shiver of revulsion run up her back as she saw crystal blue eyes looking through her. 2D nuzzled into her neck releasing small gasping sobs as he cried and slowly and shakily he wrapped his weak, emaciated arms around Noodle’s little body and she started to panic. David was trying to hold her and not let her go! She had been focusing on staying calm through the whole overdose but now she felt herself feeling unbridled panic and wanted to scream and push 2D away from her and then run as far away as she could from here. She felt angry and scared that she was being touched even though she knew she instigated this hug in the first place. Touching 2D was a mistake.

Forcing herself to be as calm as possible she pushed herself away quickly from 2D, half expecting not to be able to remove herself from his weak grasp. 2D gave a small whimper but did not try to hold her. Once satisfied that no part of her body was touching his, she looked at 2D who was starting to shiver as he put one hand to his head, and the other started patting down his pant pockets looking for cigarettes. He was harmless, always was, but her body didn’t know that. She checked in with her body and realized she was only taking shallow breaths and worked on the breathing exercise she had been preaching to 2D. As she felt her body start to relax she took a deep sigh and spoke as she exhaled. “How many pills did you take Toochi?”

2D found his cigs and was rocking again as he grabbed a lighter from his desk and struggled to light one until Noodle grabbed the lighter and helped him light his cigarette. “A bottle full? I can’t ‘member.” He rubbed his angry stomach, which was churning on them. “They are still in 'ere…”

Noodle sighed, he should probably get his stomach pumped, not that they could get him to the hospital in time for that. She racked her brains about what she should do in this situation. They needed to get the mass of pills out and the longer they waited the worse it would be. She got up and 2D made a moan looking at her sadly and desperately as he reached for her, not wanting her to go. She smiled comfortingly at him. “I’m just going to the bathroom for a sec, I’ll be right back.” 

2D’s bathroom was as groady as his room and seemed to have a lot of mold growing in it. She found a plastic bucket filled with toiletries which she picked up, dumping all the toiletries into the bathtub and thoroughly washing her hands before she came back into 2D’s room. Murdoc was sitting on the bed next to 2D looking glum while 2D shook on the floor. 

Noodle sat down on her calves opposite 2D and looked into his black eyes as he held himself and took shaky inhales on his cigarette and blew the smoke away from her. She smiled at him sadly. “Toochi, you have to vomit.”

2D shook in his head in confusion then as the confusion cleared he got a twisted grin on his lips as he looked back at Noodle’s eyes. “Naw I don’t… It’s okay… I’m good… Just let it run its course luv… The pills ‘ll do what I wanted ‘em ta.” 

Noodle had nothing to say to his lack of will to live. So instead of saying anything she just looked at him, but not with the comforting smile she had been forcing since he woke up. She looked at him with the pain and hurt and sadness she had felt for the last 5 years and all of the exhaustion she had just experienced trying to keep him alive. As she let her face show all the emotions she was holding back. 2D couldn’t stand looking at her pain and closed his eyes cringing. Noodle spoke softly to him. “You are going to vomit.” 2D nodded slowly as Noodle put the bucket on his knees grabbing his hands and placing them on the bucket. “Open up your mouth. 2D looked befuddled as he shook infront of her on the floor so Noodle repeated herself. “Open up your mouth.”

2D slowly opened his mouth and Noodle quickly walked forward on her knees and shoved her right hand in his mouth poking his uvula with two fingers. 2D started gagging around her hand, eyes going wide as he felt himself being molested in a way he never thought he would be. Noodle kept forcing her hand in his mouth, she needed the pills to come up. Suddenly 2D’s body seized up and he convulsed until and a warm mass assaulted Noodle’s hand, and she resisted her own urge to barf on 2D’s head. She extracted her hand shaking it off onto the bucket as 2D tried to expel more of the pills from his stomach, clutching the bucket in his clammy hands. 2D was feeling his already over abused body once again being pushed to the limits as horked up the pills and muttering apologies for barfing on Noodle’s hand. “BLEHH! Sorry bout that--- AUGGGG---Terribly sorry….”

Murdoc was watching with large eyes and muttered. “Keeping that for the wank bank.”

Noodle turned her deadly gaze towards Murdoc, shaking her head as she said monotonly. “Murdoc, do you have any charcoal?”

Murdoc ran an angry hand through his hair. “Why the bloody hell would I have that!?”

Noodle sighed while keeping her vomit covered hand away from her body and with the other hand gently rubbing the base of 2D’s neck as he continued to hork, “Do you have a fireplace or burn pit? Anything with charcoal?”

Murdoc grumbled. “There is a burn pit outside on the beach.”

Noodle nodded, there were things to do, that would keep her mind off of dark thoughts that would cause crippling panic. She looked deep into Murdoc’s miss matched eyes, hoping he would take in the info she was going to impart to him and not muck it up. “Murdoc, sit here with 2D. Watch him, if he starts to have trouble breathing shoot him up with more Narcan. Don’t wait until it gets really bad. As soon as his breathing gets ragged, Murdoc….”

“Yeah, sure.” Murdoc was weirdly subdued as he nodded.

“Don’t leave me! I don't want ta be alone!” 2D hiccupingly gasped at Noodle as he reaching out a hand and grasping in her direction. 

Noodle took a deep breath, willing herself to have a part of her body touched by 2D even though her body desperately wanted to not touch anyone ever again. “I’ll be back in a few minutes, and you're not alone, Muds is with you.” Noodle said smiling at 2D, nodding a tight lipped thanks to Murdoc and went to the elevator.

As Noodle rode the elevator up she thought about the things she needed to do for 2D, who was still very much in the danger zone, but first she needed a moment to herself. On the ground floor she hurried to the bathroom. Once inside she quickly washed her hand and looked at herself in the mirror. She started to cry and then scream at her reflection. One long shrill scream at the top of her lungs she was sure that everyone else on the island could hear it.

She hated that 2D would do this to himself! How dare he! Part of her wanted to say 2D was just being stupid and took to many pills by accident. Oh silly 2D, doing something stupid by accident again! But no, she knew better. He wasn’t dumb and he knew what he was doing and he didn’t care. How dare he! AND on top of that she couldn’t even touch him without David haunting her thoughts! This was terrible! She couldn’t deal with this! She just couldn’t, she wasn’t strong enough… Not after everything she went through, she was hoping that she would have her family and they could take care of her, just for a bit, but no. That’s not what she got and it wasn’t fair! She punched the shitty tile of the bathroom and it cracked under her fist lightly cutting her knuckle. This brought her back to reality as she gazed at the blood. She quickly looked over her hand and seeing it wasn’t bad she took a deep breath before looking in the mirror again.

She looked at her red, puffy face which looked hatefully back at her. There was no more time for self pitying. She needed to get her head back in the game and help her friend. She tried to pull herself together and quickly splashed some water on her face and went out to the beach.

***

As soon as she got out of the building she spotted the the ten story tall Russel sitting boredly in the plastic garbage sand. “Russ!” Noodle cried out running over to him.

“Hey there Baby Girl.” He said with a smile and turned to face her while shaking his head slowly. “It’s so weird seeing you all grown up! I can’t get over it!”

Noodle gave a tired quick smile, they had a lot to catch up on but now wasn’t the time. “I gotta talk to you about 2D.”

Russel looked behind Noodle trying to spot 2D. “Yeah, where is D?” 

“He is down in the basement of this place and he overdosed on his pain meds, we had to revive him with Narcan.” Noodle suddenly let out a gasping cry. “He looks really bad Russ! He is super skinny, even for him! There is nothing to him and he was grey! No living human should ever look grey! And his lips were as blue as his hair.” She angrily wiped the tears away with her hands, she already had her allotted cry in the bathroom she shouldn’t be doing it again. But then she remembered 2D’s deathly gray face in her lap and she started sobbing again. “He looked dead! I was holding him and he looked dead!” She looked up to one of Russel’s person sized eyes. “I’m scared! I don’t know what to do!”

Russel bit his lip and patted her head with a large finger. “Awwww, Baby Girl… Shhhh, Noodle, you stopped him from having an overdose so you already did a bunch right! It's going to be okay…. Damn, I wish I was smaller and could get in there.”

Noodle bit her lip and started searching the beach. “Me too… He downed a whole bottle of pills. I made him throw up but I’m sure he still has some of the narcotics in his system. I came out here to find the fire pit and grab some charcoal.” 

“Shit, he might have another overdose!?” Russel started to scan the beach and pointed around the back of the beach towards the firepit.

Noodle started jogging over to it while still filling in Russel who was shuffling his hulking frame around the island with her so they could keep talking. “Yeah, I’m worried about that. I got Murdoc watching him but I don’t want to leave him for too long.” She looked up at Russel. “I don’t know what to do now… After this do we give him more pills and pretend that this never happened!? I mean he wants pills right now!”

Russel looked at her large eyes going large in shock. “What you talking about Baby Girl?”

Noodle was at the fire pit and knelt down quietly asking, “Have you ever seen him clean?”

Russel shook his head. “No, he has headaches from the accident… He needs the pills!”

Noodle quickly began collecting burnt wood. Words coming out in an angry deluge. “Really? Who says? The addict and his dealer? Did he even see a doctor after his second car crash? Does he really need to be doped up every day of his life? I mean, he’s really doped up, all the time! It’s been 12 years since the car accident. 12 years he’s been bumping into walls, talking to inanimate objects, falling asleep in his food, and most of all 12 years he’s let Murdoc manipulate and abuse him. He looks like death, he has been quietly fading away for those twelve years, on those pills! Maybe he has a chance to get better if he gets off them...”

Russel mulled it over. “I mean… I don’t think it's a bad idea… But this is going to be hell for him---and for you… Are you really prepared to do this? Especially out here. We don’t have any way to get him to a doctor.”

Noodle stood up cradling some sticks and started to hurry back to the building. “If he can get through tonight, he should be okay. Doctors can’t help much with going clean anyway. People can’t stay in hospital for this, they just have to wait it out...”

“Yeah, but support groups, like oh damn, AA, therapy groups? I dunno...”

Noodle was at the door to the plastic palace and she turned to face Russel. Charcoal had somehow gotten smudged on her face. “I know this is going to hurt but I never want to see him dying on the floor again. I can’t let that happen…”

Russel gave a small, proud smile. Even with her terrible upbringing and whatever she had gone through the last five years she still had kindness and love. “I’m here for you Baby Girl. You got this!”

***

Taking the burnt wood she quickly went to the kitchen and grabbed a large semi clean glass filled it with water and smushed up the charcoal and dropped it into the water and mixed it around with a knife. She didn’t know how much to put in there but she knew she had to try something. Black was all over her hands and clothing by the time she was done. Then she smashed open cabinets and found some old soda crackers and applesauce, all of which she put on a tray and went to the elevator. 

Once she walked out the elevator she was relieved to see the two men in exactly the same positions she left them, so far 2D hadn’t overdosed again. Murdoc sitting on the bed looking deeply into the floor and 2D sitting on the floor shivering, but now he was shaking so badly his teeth were clacking together as he clutched his knees to his chest. Bucket of vomited up pills next to him.

Noodle rushed to put her tray on the bedside table. “Murdoc, he’s cold! Why didn’t you put a blanket on him!?”

“Huh? Didn’t occur to me…” Murdoc looked genuinely shocked that he could have done something nice for 2D.

Noodle steeled herself as she got ready to touch 2D again, wrapping an arm around his chest and helping to lift his sweat soaked body onto the bed. She felt every part of her body stiffen and 2D leaned on her and flopped an arm across her back like a large gangly rag doll. She dropped him onto the bed quicker and less kindly then she had wanted to but she just needed to stop touching him. She needed to release some anger so she picked Murdoc to be snappy at. “How could it not occur to you? Didn’t anyone ever---” Murdoc shot her an angry glare. Oh of course, she forgot the chronically neglected Murdoc wouldn’t know anything about caring for people. Only reason she did know how to be kind was because of Russel and 2D…

Once she got 2D in the bed she grabbed his blankets, most of which Murdoc was sitting on and tugged at them angrily as Murdoc just looked at her blankly. “Get off the blankets Murdoc.”

Murdoc got up off the blankets with a start. He was so out of his depths here and even more confused than 2D about the whole situation. He just wished he was upstairs with Cortez and some vodka to try and forget about this whole situation that he had a nagging feeling might have been, at least in some tiny part, his fault. “You seem to have everything under control. I’ll...uh… just leave you to it then…”

Noodle had gotten all of the blankets on the bed covering 2D and was looking on the floor for more blankets or clothes to put on the freezing singer. She swung her head around to look at Murdoc “NO! Stay! I need help!”

“I don’t know what I’m doing here and I need a drink!” Murdoc whined as he started to walk off. Noodle ran over and grabbed his sleeve to stop him. Glancing back at 2D to make sure he wasn’t currently dying she then she pulled Murdoc by the arm towards the elevator so she could talk to him in something close to privacy. 

Noodle then proceeded to whisper-shout at Murdoc.“I don’t know what I’m doing here!!! I am muddling through this and I am not sure I’m doing the right thing!!!” Noodle put her hands up in the air to tell herself to stop and take a second to regain her composure. After a deep breath she began again. “Murdoc, you only ever give him 6 pills at most a day, how did he get a whole bottle?”

Murdoc shrugged his shoulders, “We were coming back from a terrible tour. We were stuck in a dressing room for an entire show while Damon---Facking---Alb---”

Noodle’s eyes shot daggers at Murdoc. “Does this have anything to do with 2D overdosing?”

“It might. Why don’t you shut up and listen to find out? Nhuhhhh?” Noodle blinked at him letting him see how uninterested she was with his story. Murdoc bit his lip and looked at the floor. “Oh fine. We were on our way back here and the pirates were coming… I didn’t know how it was going to go so I gave him the bottle...”

Noodle’s jaw hung slack with horror, she knew Murdoc could be an asshole but she always thought that one of the few good things he did was make sure 2D couldn’t overdose by dolling out only so many pills a day. “Why would you do that!?”

“Look, I didn’t tell him to go and kill himself! I just wanted to make sure he was taken care of if anything should happen! I was trying to be the good guy! I didn’t think he would just up and take them all!!! He’s a facking mental case!”

“He is an addict! And he was scared! He knew all those pirates were coming for both of you!” Noodle’s heart ached for her friend as she looked over at him. His head was peaking out of a mountain of blankets that was jiggling as he had spasms of shivers and pain.

Murdoc hit the wall with his hand in anger, punching a hole in the crappily melted plastic which cut up his hand in the process. Murdoc tried to pretend it didn’t hurt. “Well I didn’t think he was suicidal! I thought he would wait to see if we won the fight at least! I didn’t want this y’know!?”

Noodle grabbed his shirt in her fist and pulled him down to her while she growled. “Well you could have done more to prevent it! I almost lost the most important person in my life because you made a shitty decision! If I had lost him I would have sent you on the fast train to Hell right now.”

The rattling, gasping noise started again and Noodle heart dropped to her stomach as she rushed back to 2D’s side, eyes scanning everywhere trying to find the Narcan. “Oh no, not again.” Noodle muttered under her breath, she had been half expecting this, but still, she didn’t want this to be happening. “Where is the Narcan!?” Noodle crouched down, frantically moving garbage around on the floor trying to find it. 

Murdoc spotted it behind 2D’s doncomatic and handed it to Noodle. “I’ll go get another needle from the baffroom!”

Noodle pulled down his blanket so she could get to his arm. She whispered to him, even though she was pretty sure he couldn’t hear her, it made her feel better at least. “Hold on, Toochi, you're gonna be okay, it's gonna be like it was before, but you're gonna get over this, just stick with me!” She was rubbing his boney chest hard with her knuckles with one hand and his face with the other as he gasped for air. She looked at his face, with it’s stubble, vomit and other dirt splotches. A small panicked voice in her head told her to take a good look because he might die soon.

Murdoc came back filling the new needle with Narcan again and handing it to Noodle who stabbed 2D’s shoulder with the needle and emptying it’s contents. Then she started rubbing his shoulders, face, chest, hands all in a frantic need for him to be okay. “Come on, Toochi, you're going to be fine. It's gonna be okay.” His hitching breath continued as he fought to get air into his lungs for a couple excruciating minutes while Noodle cheered him on. “You got this! You got this!” Slowly his breathing started to normalize again and he became conscious rapidly as Noodle felt herself relax, only to have 2D have another panic attack.

“‘M gonna die, just let me die! ‘M so scared ta die, but I just… This is too much…” His hands started digging at his chest again. He was screaming and crying. “Facking kill me now!” 

Noodle pulled his blanket up again and stroked his hair “Toochi, breath, come on let's breath again, it's gonna be okay. It is going to be okay.” Noodle was so thankful and glad 2D was still with her but she desperately wanted off this roller coaster. She didn’t know how she got on it in the first place, but damn was she exhausted. She thought that Hell had been bad and loosing her friend Cuthbert, but dealing with her old best friend almost dying twice in her arms… This was the hardest thing she had ever done. 

2D pulled himself into the fetal position facing towards Noodle eyes crying and he snuck out one shaking hand and grabbed her hand. Her first instinct was to pull away but she quieted that urge. He wasn’t going to hurt her and it was just her hand, she could deal with that for him. His hand felt so cold and clammy and it wouldn’t stop shaking as he sputtered out words at her. “‘M sorry luv! ‘M so sorry! I didn’t fink yew’d be ‘ere! I wouldn’t ta done it if I knew yewr ‘ere! ‘M scared! So scared and I ‘urt!!! I ‘urt so much! Every facking day I ‘urt! I just want it ta stop! I can’t get it ta stop!!! Why!? WHY!!!!!!?????” He started screaming while hitting his skull with one hand and and angrily shaking and squeezing the sweltering hand holding hers. Noodle grasped the hand hitting his head and held his thin wrist in her grip while she looked into his black eyes. “It’s going to be okay Toochi. I know it doesn’t feel like it, but it is! Now I need you to do something for me okay?”

2D shook his head. “I can’t do anyfing luv…”

“Yes you can! I need you to drink this charcoal water. It’s a pretty black drink, just like your eyes.” 2D let out a gasping sob as Noodle tried to get him to sit up a bit and handed him the drink with one hand as the other one was still in 2D’s grip. He took a little sip with a badly shaking hand, spilling some on himself and the bed before trying to hand it back to her. “Come on Toochi, I need you to drink more and you’ve been crying and sweating this whole time, you’ll desicate!”

He looked at her with his big pain laden eyes and whispered. “Like a mummy?”

Noodle gave him a small grin, “Yeah, you’ll turn into a mummy if you don’t drink more. Come on, down the hatch.”

2D sobbed again and there seemed to be a sad little laugh in there as he tried to choke down the charcoal water. His lips, teeth and tongue, all turning black. Shivering even more from the drink making him colder. Once he finished the drink he handed the glass back to Noodle and he slipped under his blankets lying on his side. Noodle opened up some saltine and put some applesauce on it before handing it to 2D. “Try to eat something Dee, you need something in your system to get through this.” His hand shook terribly and as he tried to get it into his open mouth the applesauce fell off onto his pillow this made him sob again. “Awww, it’s okay!” Noodle grabbed the saltine from him with her free hand and scraped it on his applesauce covered pillow before feeding it to him. 

He munched on it sadly, his eyes telling her how unhappy and sorry he was about all of this. She fed him several more applesauce crackers, while he whimpered and shook as spasms of pain but eventually he calmed down as Noodle made cooing noises at him and stroked his blue locks as he desperately grasped her hand in his before eventually drifting off into a fitful sleep filled with a lot of jerking and moaning. Noodle’s heart hurt seeing her friend in such a state, he never did anything to hurt anyone but himself and yet he had all this pain, it wasn’t fair but then Noodle knew things happened all the time that were not fair. She gently disentangled her hand from 2D, who made a violent twitch, but remained sleeping. Noodle felt much more relaxed as she was no longer being held and a good deal of pride that she stuck out the discomfort for her friend. She turned to see Murdoc who was still sitting in the room on an amp looking at 2D’s frail body on the bed. 

Noodle motioned at him to follow and quietly walked with him to the far side of the room again. She gave him a small tired smile. “Thanks for staying with me.”

Murdoc shrugged noncommittally. “It was a waste of good drinking time.”

Noodle gave a half smile. “It was good to know I wasn’t alone here with him. I really appreciated it. You give good moral support, plus you really helped with the Narcan.” Murdoc smiled back almost kindly and Noodle tried not to show how surprised she was about it. “I am going to stay with him tonight in case he overdoses again.”

Murdoc grimace, “We used up the last of the Narcan…”

Noodle nodded, “Hopefully he’ll be fine, the charcoal should help absorb any opiate left in his body, other than that, I have no ideas… At least I’ll be here with him, no matter what happens…” Noodle wanted to cry but felt too exhausted to do it.

Murdoc pressed his lips together tightly and nodded. “I uhhh, thanks for saving him. I didn’t want him to die.”


	10. Drop Tower

Noodle wanted to be near 2D to make sure he was okay and didn’t overdose again, but she also desperately didn’t want to be touched, she already had more than enough of that, so she busied herself with collecting some blankets and somewhat clean clothes to make herself a little nest next to 2D’s bed. She was patting down the lumpy bed to try and make it more even when she someone spoke behind her.

“What are you doing here?” A small, thick but squeaky voice said. Noodle spun around and saw a man, at least a foot shorter than her, with big eyes staring at her.

Noodle whispered at the man. “Uhhhh, I’m part of the band, I’m sleeping here for the night…”

The man spoke in a monotone drawl, never changing his tone. “Oh, Murdoc usually keeps the band guests in cages or has them sleep with him in his master bedroom. Then again, they usually are all gassed while they are in there with him…”

Noodle had a sad smirk on her lips. “Yeah, I’m trying not to get gassed…”

“You're doing better than him.” The man pointed a small finger at 2D.

Noodle hadn’t thought about how 2D got here, but she had figured he had just wanted to get back together with Murdoc. “He was gas and brought here!?”

“Yes, and then gassed again when he tried to escape in the submarine. But usually when he tried to escape he was knocked unconscious and dragged in here by the Cyborg. The green man would lock him in here for days at a time until he learned his lesson.”

Noodle felt all the good will she had been cultivating for Murdoc go out the window. He was putting 2D through hell! How could he!? Why would he try to hurt the gentle singer!? Noodle tried to calm herself down, she would have words about this with Murdoc but first she needed to watch her friend and get through the night. The small man broke into her thoughts as he introduced himself in his same bland and straightforward way. “I am the Engineer and I need some tea.”

Noodle didn’t care much for the demand and decided not to address it. “Um, okay, I’m Noodle.”

“That's a nice Noodle. I need some tea.” 

“K, maybe you should get that for yourself?” 

“You won’t make me any tea? Right then, I won’t fix the leaky toilet pipe above your bed. I think that's the toilet to Murdoc’s room….”

Noodle looked up and quickly moved as a water droplet fell on her bed. “What!? Oh damn, that pipe _ is _ leaking! Of course Murdoc would put 2D’s bed under his sewer pipe! Uh, can you help me fix that? I’ll go make you some tea, but you also gotta look after 2D.” 

“I heard that dying noise earlier, I’ll let you know if I hear them again, so long as you get me some tea…”

Noodle smiled at the funny little man. “Yeah, what do you want?”

“Lady Grey, milk and sugar.” 

“Sure, sure. Uh, thanks for fixing the leak.”

“S’ my job.”

Noodle got to the kitchen and after opening all the cabinets she found the tea. She made tea for the engineer and while she was at it she thought some peppermint tea would be nice for 2D. She also grabbed some biscuits and went down again. Brits couldn’t have their tea without biscuits after all...

She went down and was greeted with the view of the engineer on a ladder pants falling down giving her a view of his plumers crack at eye level. She padded forward softly even though the noise the Engineer was making would have woken up 2D more than anything she could do. “Hello, uh, Engineer? Uh, here is your tea. I’ll just set it down here, on the floor. Ummm, thanks again!”

The Engineer gave a final tight twist with a wrench on the pipe. “I figured you wouldn’t like Murdoc’s waste, some girls do, but you seem more classy than that.”

“Oh, yes, thanks?” Noodle said. 

The engineer finished and got down from the ladder. Moving the ladder to the side he grabbed his tea and a few biscuits. “This was a wonderful conversation. Thank you.” He said walking to the staircase and leaving.

Noodle was too tired to think much about the strange man, instead she sat down on her makeshift bed and looked over 2D. His breathing was shallow but consistent. Hopefully he would make it through the night, then it should be clean sailing through the withdrawal.

2D shuffled a bit in the bed, perhaps sensing Noodles gaze. Without opening his eyes he slowly croaked out one word. “Pills?”

Noodle sighed as she tiredly leaned on his bed. “No. You’ve been wasting away for ages on those.”

This seemed to give 2D some energy. He became a bit more alert opening one dark eye. “Wut?” Groggily he looked Noodle over then with a start he quickly sat up and backed up into the corner of the bed against the wall, blankets falling off of him as he cowered away from Noodle. He grabbed some empty wrappers and used tissues from the bedside table that he threw at Noodle. All of them fluttered to the bed before they reached her. “ _ Ehhchh! _ Get away from me yew damned fing! I didn’t do anyfing! Yew're more of a demon than that boy ever was!”

It hurt Noodle to think of what had happened to him to make him so scared of the robot that replaced her. She spoke to him in her calmest voice. “Toochi, Robot Noodle is dead. Don’t you remember what happened earlier?”

2D squinted at her, recognition coming to him slowly as a thankful grin spread over his face. “Noods, it is yew! I fought I was dreaming earlier!" He relaxed and the tension in his body evaporated. "But yew were gone! I looked efery where for yew!" 2D started to sink back into a lying down position holding his knees to his chest as he got a chill again and started to shiver. 

Noodle grabbed a second pillow and put it behind him so he was in a reclining position and put the blankets back on him. "Russ told me you and him were looking for me."

2D started sniffling and shaking his head. "'M sorry we never found yew! Yew got 'urt! It's our fault we couldn’t protect yew. Couldn’t save yew…" 

"There was nothing you or Russ could have done. Anyway, you know I never needed you guys to protect me, I could always take care of myself."She smiled at him, hoping he wouldn't see how hurt she was below the grinning facade.

He pouted and looked deep into her eyes. "’M sorry, Noodle."

Noodle gave him a tight smile and looked away before his eyes bore into her soul and she started to cry, or worse, tell him everything. She quickly grabbed the cup of peppermint tea and decided 2D wasn't really in any shape to hold the cup himself, held it up to his face and helped him drink a bit.

2D took a small sip, giving a small head bob of thanks and looking at her dolefully. "Yew remembered I like peppermint tea..."

"Of course, I would never forget all those times we shared it together." She smiled and squeezed his bony shoulder.

"Yew, yew don't look like yourself... Yew're all big and what happened to yewr eye? What happened to yew?" 2D raised a shaking hand to her face and gently touching the big bruise around her eye. Noodle flinched at the touch and 2D quickly recoiled grimacing. "Sorry luv."

"I grew up Toochi, It's been 5 years... A lot happened, a lot of bad stuff. But I am here now, I just need to let everything else fade away. Let it become a distant memory..." Noodle said quietly as she busied herself with breaking off a bit of biscuit and fed it to 2D. 

As 2D slowly munched on the biscuit and brought up a hand to rub his head, that was pounding like a drum. "Has it really been that long? I’ve been ‘ere for years wif Muds... Fack… Where’s me fags?" He started to look for his cigarette on the bedside table, his hand moving spastically over the garbage. 

"Yes…" Noodle said finding a crushed box of cigarettes on the floor, took two out and light one for 2D and one for herself. She never really got into the habit of smoking cigarettes, but figured after a day like today, she could use one.

2D’s shaky hand grabbed the cigarette and he took a long slow drag on it. He released the smoke into the air slowly watching it drift away from him. “I’d blow it out the window, but we’re underwater…” Noodle found herself giving a small giggle at that as she fed him another piece of biscuit. “That was a terrible day when I saw the floating island go down. I cried.” 2D said, slowly munching on the biscuit and taking a drag on his cigarette, rubbing his head with his hands. “Uggg, everyfing 'urts, can yew get me some pills?"

Noodle felt a little exasperated, especially after everything that had just happened. "Toochi, I told you, I'm not going to give you any pills!"

2D stared uncomprehendingly and tried to shuffle to sit up more. “I need em, luv! Come on, they’re all I got going fer me! If I don’t get 'em, I’m gonna be in a really bad way!”

“2D, you OD’d twice today! Did you forget that!? You're so weak you can’t get out of bed, you're shaking and barely able to eat. You look like death!” 

“Blimey, did I really overdose?” His jaw fell slack and Noodle shoved more biscuit in his face before he really was able to process what was happening. He started munching the biscuit in his face. “Awww hell, wot’s it matter luv? Just give me my pills. That’s all I need. Just me pills.” He took another drag on his cigarette and lay back feeling dizzy and weak again.

“No, we aren’t doing this. Now either eat more or sleep. Those are the only two options I am going to give you.”

2D pouted angrily at her for a moment, then bit his lip with one of his side fangs. “I’d like a bit more tea…”

Noodle smiled and gave him another sip and one more bite of biscuit, took the cigarette from him and smooshed it out and then fussed with his blankets a bit, shoving them under him to try and help with the shivering. She quietly muttered to him. “I’ll be right here tonight. Have a good night.”

2D’s eyelids drooped. “Fanks, luv…” Sleep was already trying to claim him. He just wanted that long dark embrace of emptiness for ever. That's all he ever wanted. Just the Void.

***

2D slept peacefully through the night and the next day Noodle woke up early. The first thing she did was check on 2D, who’s milky white vistage and dark purple bruised eye sockets were disturbing but his chest was moving softly up and down. She got dressed as quietly as she could, and having no clothes of her own since being rescued by Russ she grabbed an old shirt of 2D’s that said “Tazar Yoot,” and some of his shorts that fit her. Once dressed she took the stairs up to the kitchen. No one else was up so she made herself and 2D some oatmeal and tea and went back down to have breakfast with 2D. 

Opening the door at the bottom of the stairs woke 2D with a start. 2D screamed at her and tried to back up against the wall side of his bed again. 

Noodle hurried over to him, quickly trying to calm him down. "Shhhhh, Toochi, it's okay, it’s just me!" He was always a little flighty but something had happened in the past 5 years that really cranked his anxiety up.

2D squinted at her and started cradling his head. "Uuuuuh, Noods! I’m sorry. I remember… I fought that was just a good a dream. Oh fack, I feel like a train hit my ‘ead."

Noodle gave him a sympathetic smile as she was sweeping a bunch of garbage off his bedside table onto the floor and putting the tray of food down. “You dreamed that you had an overdose and that was a good dream?”

2D was shaking trying to get his cigarettes with one hand while the other rubbed furiously at his temples with his other hand. “Naw, the overdose part was rubbish, but yew were there.” Noodle smiled comfortingly and sat down on the edge of the bed, grabbing the cigarettes and helping 2D to light up. 2D took a long drag and then reached out his shaking hand and touched her shoulder as if expecting her to disappear. "I looked for you for so long...."

"I know Toochi, it's okay, I'm here. I'm not going to leave again." Noodle knew he was just trying to be friendly but she didn’t like him holding her shoulder. She pulled his hand off her shoulder and grasped his hand in both of her hands. "It's gonna be okay, Toochi."

2D started crying. "I looked! I looked for so long, Noods. I was gonna give up, but I didn't and then Murdoc got me.... Oh, Noods. I don't feel so well." He felt a spasm of pain cross his body and he shivered squeezing his eyes tight together.

"I know Toochi." She had started stroking his greasy blue locks. "It's going to be okay, try to take a deep breath, come on, breath with me. One big slow breath in...... Hold it.... Now slowly let it out." He followed her as best he could and after a few rounds of breathing he was calmer. He continued puffing on his cancer stick as well which seemed to help him have a slower, calmer, breathing rhythm. 

Noodle smiled seeing him get calmer. "There we go, okay, are you excited for some cold tea and oatmeal now?"

"Yay." Said 2D as unexcitedly as he could. Noodle laughed and 2D cracked a bit of of a smile for her. "I'm so glad yewr ‘ere Noods. It’s been so lonely wif just Muds." 

"I would be lonely if I only had Muds for company… I thought you were dead when I walked in yesterday.” Noodle took in a deep breath before asking something that had been bothering her. “Why did you do that Toochi?" 

2D tried to lift his spoon and eat some oatmeal but his hand was shaking so bad he couldn’t get it to his mouth. Noodle took the spoon from him and helped feed him. He blushed shyly and smiled at her. "Fanks. Ahwell, I was tired of all this. I just wanted it ta go away. The pain ‘n all. So...." He took a slow mouthful of oatmeal.

Noodle pressed her lips together as she spooned more oatmeal into 2D. "So you tried to kill yourself..."

2D was focused off into the distance as he swallowed the mouthful of oatmeal. "There's not much else going on."

Noodle looked into his black eyes sadly. "Toochi, you're that depressed?" 2D gave a weak shrug and took a long drag from his cancer stick as if his death depended on it.

"It's lonely wif out Russ and yew. Muds kept saying I wasn't even singing well. He wouldn’t let me leave. I dunno, didn't see much point ta life. Never do for that matter, but I dunno, more so than normal."

Noodle wanted to say something about how precious life was or how he had no idea what great thing could be around the corner. All the bullshit she always heard on TV and in self-help pamphlets, but she knew how he felt. Growing up touring with a bunch of adults wasn’t the best childhood and she knew the sting of depression and loneliness. Those “helpful” words were meaningless when you were in the dark pit of pain. So instead she stayed quiet and fed him another spoonful of oatmeal.

"I won't do that again…” 2D said, and Noodle could see the gears grinding in his head as he tried to bargain. “but can yew get me some more pills? I got such a pain in me gulliver..."

Noodle shook her head. "2D, no. I'm not gonna do that. You need to understand, you're going to get clean." 

2D's good nature seemed to evaporate as he sat up and a hard edge made its way into his eyes and voice. "Yew ave no right ta do that ta me!"

Noodle felt anger rising in her chest in response. "Well you gave up your rights when you tried to kill yourself!"

He hit the bed with his fist in anger. "That's the only fing I can do! Murdoc tells me what ta do all the time, yew can't start doing that too! If I want to, I can! Yew can’t stop me!"

Noodle wanted to escalate the anger train but forced herself to take a deep breath and said in a tone as level as she could muster. "I'm sorry I'm being so mean to you, no letting you kill yourself but I'm standing firm on this." 

2D sat up getting very angry. "Well you just grew up and became a facking cunt!" At this 2D started horking and threw up everything he had just eaten onto his blanket. Suddenly he felt embarrassed and overcome with shame for yelling at Noodle and his face turned red as he looked at the mess on his lap. "U'm sorry... I didn't mean that.... I... I dunno why I said that..."

Noodle’s brain seemed only to be able to focus on the throwup on the blanket. She started moving and taking the blank away and putting a new blanket on. She knew the words he said should hurt, and they did, but more than hurt they confused her. She never heard him get angry before, at anyone, least of all her. 

She gathered the blanket up in one hand and took the tray with her own uneaten bowl of oatmeal and tea in the other. She still felt fragile from yesterday and didn’t want to eat next to 2D if he was going to be mean to her. "Well, I'll see you later 2D. Try to get some sleep."

"Yeah, ummm.... Yeah... I'll do that..." 2D said sinking into the bed and squeezing his eyes shut. Once Noodle was taking the elevator up, 2D started to cry and hit his head with his hands until he fell asleep. 

***   
  


As 2D was at least not going to have another overdose, Noodle, moved her makeshift sleeping bed to a closet in the studio so she could have some space of her own. She also cleaned up 2D’s room that evening while he struggled to eat a piece of toast. She quietly removed some long forgotten pills she found in the piles of garbage as well as taking away any knives or other sharp things. Better safe than sorry.

That night withdrawal set in with a fury. Noodle had just settled down into her makeshift bed in the livingroom closet when she heard him scream. It was a long, loud howl of pain. She quickly got up and hurried downstairs, hoping to get to him and shut him up before Murdoc noticed and came down. Once she opened the door to 2D’s room she saw him pale and sweating smashing his hands into his skull. He let out another long painful wail. She rushed over to him trying to grasp his hands. He looked at her, his eyes wide and panicked and he screamed at her. It was so loud it made her cringe and put her hands over her ears. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! IT ‘URTS!!!! IT ‘URTS MORE THAN IT EVER ‘URT BEFORE!!!! ‘ELP ME!!!! PLEASE ‘ELP ME!” He grabbed her shoulders and as he started sobbing.

Noodle shrunk out of his hands. “I am so sorry Toochi! Just hold on it wi---”

2D shook his head angrily. “NO! Give me my pills! I need ‘em! I need ‘em! I need ‘em! ‘m gonna die if I don’t get ‘em! I can’t ‘andle this!” He was shaking back and forth sweat glistening off his body and he shivered violently. Noodle tried to put a comforting arm on his shoulder but he violently shrugged it off and as another spasm of pain ripped through his body he screamed again. 

Noodle wanted to help, but she didn’t know what to do and to sit here and just listen to him scream was making her feel a desperate panic rip its way through her body, making her want to do something drastic. “Can I---”

“Get me my pills!” 2D sobbed.

Noodle bit her lip and got up and left. She went upstairs to a bathroom medicine cabinet and found some sleeping pills. She didn’t want him to get addicted to something else but she did want him to find some relief until the withdrawal was over. She could still hear him screaming and was surprised that Murdoc hadn’t started yelling too. Hopefully Murdoc was just out cold and drunk.

Noodle came back to 2D and handed him two pills and some water. She was worried he would notice they were a different shape and size but he was so desperate for release he grabbed them from her hand and swallowed them dry before she could hand him the water. Once again he screamed at her causing her to cringe and back away from him. After several heavy pants he looked at her, his face distraught and twisted in agony. “Fanks…”

Noodle smiled, hoping it was enough to not make him wonder about what type of pills she had given him, and she went back to her makeshift bed on the floor above. As soon as she made it to the floor above he was screaming again. He continued screaming for two more hours sometimes just wailing other times yelling about his pills. “THOSE WEREN’T ME PILLS!!! I WANT MY PILLS!!!” 

Noodle felt guilty she wasn’t with him to help him, she felt guilty she gave him different pills and she felt worried that the sleeping pills weren’t working but she didn’t know what to do, so she stayed in her bed, body shaking every time she heard 2D scream as she cried along with his pain.

The next day Noodle came into 2D’s room. He moaned and clutched his head as she put some oatmeal down near him. He eyed her spitefully. It was a look she never saw from him and it hurt her deeply. With a jerky hand he pushed the bowl of oatmeal off the bed, spilling it on the floor and yelled at her, “I don’t facking want this! I want me bloody pills! Yew can’t keep ‘em from me, their mine! I don’t want any of this shit yew keep gifing me. Wot have I ever done to yew to make yew do this ta’ me!?” He feebly hit the wall with his fist. She thought he was trying to look fierce but he just looked like an obstinate little boy.

Noodle’s rage was bubbling up inside her. She wanted to scream back at him. She was the one taking care of him, trying to feed him and cleaning up his vomit. HE should be THANKING her. She took a deep breath and turned around and walked up the staircase as 2D shouted after her. “Don’t leave me yew facking bitch!!!”

Murdoc was leaning on the wall next to the ground floor landing arms crossed. “Mhuh, huh, you know that this would all be easier if you just gave him the damn pills, yeah? We all need something to get through the day, that's just his pick me up.”

Noodle couldn’t yell at 2D but she certainly could at Murdoc. “After what you saw him go through you are still going to suggest that!? How dare you! He is going to die if he doesn’t get off them! And don’t you dare give him any!”

Murdoc put his gnarled green hands up in surrender. “Oh, I know. And I assure you, I don’t want him to die. But one or two pills, here or there… Just to keep him going… Maybe make him shut his bloody trap. Just like it used to be...”

Noodle got up into Murdoc's face poking a finger into his chest. “You stay away from him, Muds. I’m not playing. You. Stay. Away.” 

Murdoc stared Noodle down but eventually gave up sighing. “Fine, play it your way, Noodle. I’ve got some things on my agenda anyway. But if he’s not in working condition soon, I’m going to have to try it my way.”

Noodle pushed past Murdoc, she wasn’t going to let that happen. Not so long as she was around. She did hate refusing 2D his drugs, hated listening to him scream, hated dealing with his anger, hated seeing him in so much pain, but she knew she needed to stay firm. No one else cared enough about 2D, certainly not 2D himself, so if she wasn’t the strong one he was a goner.

***

The next several days passed slowly and while 2D had some deep bouts of anger he didn’t seem to direct it at Noodle. She would come down several times a day and feed him, as he was too weak and shaking too much to feed himself. His whole body ached as he felt like he had the worst cold in his life, along with his brain feeling like it was trying to break out of his skull. He would shakely have a few cigarettes, and then he would beg her for pills, sometimes angrily, sometimes apathetically. She would refuse. His head would feel like it was splitting apart and he would throw up everything he ate and then fall asleep in his mess. Noodle would clean him up while he slept and when he woke again he would start up his long drawn out screams that made her whole body convulse in sympathetic pain. 

She would leave him alone in his room to scream it out, hating that she couldn’t be with him but being unable to stay near him. Often she found herself hiding in a dark corner of her sleeping closet while he yelled. She felt she needed to bear witness to his pain even if she couldn’t be near him while he cried out. He would bash the walls and try to throw things around but all together he was too weak to do much damage to anything. Maybe her listening to him was a way to keep a vigil over him, make sure he was okay.

On the fourth day of 2D’s sobriety he started hitting himself with his fits and scratching his arms and face with his fingernails. Noodle had come down to check on him, after he had suddenly gone quiet after a very long wail, and saw him clawing his face leaving bloody gashes as he sobbed at and looked at her with all of the agony and anguish in his life. 

Noodle ran over to the bed trying to restrain his long clobbering arms to his chest. He tried to kick and push her off so she jumped onto his legs straddling his legs with her own and was trying hug his arms to his body. He accidentally gave her a good sock in the jaw, but didn’t even notice. As a heat rushed to her jaw she held him trying to quell the desperate panic her body was sending her over being hurt by him. She wanted to hit him back, she wanted to make him feel pain, but she swallowed it back. He was already hurting, she shouldn’t add to that. She couldn’t.

The only thing that mattered to 2D was trying to stop his whole body from hurting. Finally Noodle managed to restrain his arms to his chest and swaddled him, her cheek on his own which was bleeding as he cried out with gobs of spit flying from his mouth and going down her back. “I want ta die!!!! NOOOOOODSSSS!!!! JUST LET ME DIE!!!!!! PLEASSSEEEE!!!!!! I AM TIRED OF THIS!!! Soooo tired. Please…. Please… Please…. Puuhhh… Puuuhhh... please… I wish someone luved me enough ta take the pain away… Luved me enough ta kill me...” 

Noodle rocked him back and forth. _ If this isn’t love, I don’t know what is.  _ “Shhhhh, it's going to be okay, just take a deep…”

“I don’t want your facking deep breaths!” He tried to struggle against her again, but he was all tired out and didn’t achieve much, finally letting his wasted muscles go limp in her grasp.

Noodle tried again whispering to him, as calmly as she could. “I know this hurts…” 

Enraged 2D tried again to fight out of her grasp. “Yew dont’ know anyfing! Yewr not going through this! Yew never ‘ave! Yew never luved nuffing enough ta feel how much life ‘urts without it!”

“It’s not love, it's an addiction…” 

“It’s the only fing I’ve ever luved!”

“Stop being melodramatic! You had girlfriends, you used to talk about Paula Cracker all the time….”

“And how she dropped me for Muds…”

“And your mum! She loved you!”

“Yeah, she did luv me, she gave me pills. Best fing that ever ‘appened ta me, me mum.” He finally slumped in her grasp and lay back on the bed. “I don’t know why yew like ‘urting me so much… Yewr worse than Muds ever was…”

Noodle knew this would be hard, she knew that dealing with withdrawal wasn’t a walk in the park. She knew that… But damn did this blue boy know how to hit her where it hurt… She knew it was the addiction talking, but that didn’t make it any better. Why was he so mean!? She didn’t see any part of the Toochi she used to know in this loathful wreak of a man staring at her hatefully. 

Tasting iron in her mouth, she realized she had been biting her lip. Her jaw was pulsing and aching from where he hit her. She was going to cry and she didn’t want to do it in front of this piece of ungrateful shit, so she tried to take a shaky breath as she got off of him. Resisting the urge to run she walked to the door for the stairs. 2D started giving sputtering pitiful sobs that almost made her want to come back and hug him and tell him everything would be alright, but she couldn’t. She didn’t have enough strength to get on this ride again.

***

Once out of 2D's presents she felt a huge weight lifted off her soul, like he had been crushing it. She started crying as she ran onto the beach and sat on a pile of pink spray painted water bottles.

“Tough day Baby Girl?” Russel asked walking towards her from the water where he had been playing the ocean like a drum. 

In the presents of the comforting safety of Russel, Noodle found herself bawling even harder. “Russ, was 2D ever my friend? Did we ever have fun together? Did he ever talk to me about things other than wanting pills? Because, if he did, I can’t remember it. I don’t know why I am putting myself through this! He is an asshole and I must just be a masochist for trying to help him.”

Russel sat his large form down with a sigh. “That bad today, huh?”

Noodle was punching the plastic sand with her hands in frustration. “No, not today, everyday since I saved the ungrateful sack of bones.” 

Russel looked her over and pressed his lips together. “That's a pretty bad bruise on your chin, and how did you get all that blood on your cheek!”

Noodle touched her pulsing jaw. “He hit me when I was trying to restrain him from ripping his skin off with his nails, which he is probably doing again now, but I don’t care…. Uhhhgggg. Must of gotten some of his blood on me.”

“D, shouldn’t a done that… I wish I could be there to deal with him through this…”

“No you don’t, no one should be with him. He is…. Just… Just… Ahhhggg.” Noodle clutched the garbage sand in her hand feeling the pain as it cut her.

“He had no right to hit you, and I’m sure he is being incredibly terrible to deal with right now but you two of you were best friends. You both loved each other and had fun together all the time. Both of you were on the same vibe when you played music, danced, gamed, watched movies, talked…”

Noodle felt like her whole image of 2D was falling apart. “But I was a kid! Kids can ignore all sorts of terrible things from adults. Was he really a nice person before? Maybe I just misremembered him as a good person the whole time. 

Russel sighed and looked at her with his milky white eyes. “Baby Girl, D has a lot of problems. You know that, but deep down, he is a good man, with a kind and gentle soul. Remember when he would sit for hours letting you paint his nails, or “style” his hair? Or that time he went off to join the Free Tibet movement? Or when he bought out that Amish bunny mill and gave all the bunnies away for free to children at the orphanage? He feels love for so many people, he even said he loved Murdoc! The man that abuses him every single day. I don’t know if that was the dumbest thing he ever said, but regardless, he has a lot of love and kindness in him. If he is hurting you now that must mean he is in a lot of pain. But that doesn’t give him the right to hurt you. You don’t deserve this, he isn’t your responsibility and I wish I could get in there and deal with him myself.”

Noodle thought on all of that, Russel was right, she always remembered 2D as a gentle soul who cried at sad movies and liked pretty pictures of baby cats but a small voice kept putting one thing in her mind. “Maybe he was only gentle all the time because he was on all the pills. Maybe this is the real him, once the drug haze is wiped away, maybe all that is left is an angry and sick man. Maybe he wasn’t nice and kind, just stoned out of his gourd all this time.”

Russel nodded. “I don’t know what D is like sober, no one does, not even D himself. He’s been stoned since he was 10! Whatever he is now, this is not what he is going to end up being. He’s like a butterfly that just climbed out of its cocoon and is just sitting there, all ugly and weak waiting for its wings to unfold. Dunno what those wings are gonna be but they are gonna be wings.”

Noodle picked up a handful of micro plastic garbage and watched it slip through her fingers, thinking about the futility of everything. “Murdoc thought making him go fully clean was stupid. He thinks I should just get him on a few pills a day, like he was before. I mean, that did work for a long time, and he is so depressed. Not to mention his headaches are terrible… It would be so much easier too, he would stop hating me, he could go back to being his old self.”

Russel gave a rueful nod. “Giving up and letting D fall into his dark abyss would be so much easier and no one would fault you for doing it, least of all D. So, why haven’t you.”

Noodle was stunned by this question, why had she been so adamant about getting him clean? “I don’t really know, I just want him to be okay. Be healthy… He never seemed really healthy, always being spaced out, not eating, but I don’t know if that was the pills or the head injury… I always worried about him overdosing… But if he gets clean, that is by no means an assurity that he won’t overdose in the future… I don’t know! I don’t know why I am doing this! I want what's best for him, that's all. I want him to be happy…. I didn’t think he was happy on the pills, but compared to now… Maybe that was the best he could do with his damaged head…”

“Baby Girl, I know it's confusing, but for what it's worth, I think getting him clean is the right thing to do. I know it's hard and it's gonna continue being hard, especially since he doesn’t want the help, but I think he deserves a chance to be happy, really happy, and I think he can only get that if he is clean, if he doesn’t have a chain on his neck. At this point, why not keep trying to go forward, it's not like things could get worse. He used to be your best friend, maybe after all this transitional pain he will be even better. I don’t know, but I know that if we don’t see this through, we will always wonder about the what if…”

Noodle sighed and looked out into the ocean. “I didn’t get into this thinking it would be easy. I just wasn’t prepared for all of his anger at me. I also wasn’t prepared to question all of these basic things, like if it's okay to be addicted to opiates… I can’t believe the things I’m thinking now, about him, about addiction. It just seems so grey instead of black and white.”

“It is grey, but that doesn’t mean that there aren’t lighter and darker shades. I think him getting clean is better than continuing his half life through the dark.”

Noodle sighed, feeling all cried out and empty. “Thanks Russ. I just needed to get out my feelings. I’m not gonna give up on him. Even if he is an asshole, I gotta see this through…”

Russ grunted. “You're doing the best you can Baby Girl, take some time for yourself, do something nice like… uh… take a bath?”

“Hehe, no thanks, only one bath in the building and that's in Murdoc’s private bathroom… But yeah, I do need some time to myself, away from 2D. Maybe I should go swimming in the ocean. I always liked that.”

“You do you, Baby Girl.”

***

After a good long swim Noodle went and had a shower and was coming out of the bathroom feeling fresh, clean and almost relaxed.

_ “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! ‘EEELPPP ME! IT ‘URTS!!!!” _

Noodle sighed. Once more unto the breach… She was heading towards the stairs when Murdoc called to her from the kitchen. “You know you can't do anything to help the bastard, right?”

Noodle shrugged helplessly. “I don’t know… I don’t know what to do…” 

Murdoc had been mixing a very large margarita that filled the whole height of the kitchen blender. He sighed at his concoction. He had been planning to drink the whole thing by himself but he instead poured out a glassfull and held it out to Noodle. “Just let him yell it out. He’ll stop eventually. Trust me, I’m a doctor. Nhuh.”

Noodle gave a tight little smile but didn’t move towards the drink. “I don’t want him to hurt himself again…”

Murdoc cocked his head to the side as he looked Noodle over. “You're looking a little worn yourself, love. Faceache ’ll still be there in the morning… He's too weak to really damage himself. Take one night off and relax with ol’ Uncle Mudsy! Y'know you want to! Yeah!” Murdoc shook the drink at her and wiggled his eyebrow at her. 

Noodle wanted to refuse and go down stairs, but she was so tired of dealing with 2D. She really did want to talk to someone who wouldn’t just scream at her and beg her for pills for just a little while, and she must have been desperate to be considering spending time with Murdoc. Plus, the drink looked good. She took a few steps toward Murdoc and grabbed the drink from Murdoc’s long nailed grasp. Murdoc grinned wickedly at her as he took a sip of his blender full of margarita and put a clammy hand around Noodle’s shoulder, leading her up to the next floor. “Atta girl! Live a little! Forget all about our sickly blue boy for awhile. He’ll be fine, just  _ fine _ !”

“And about hell…” Noodle said quietly as she took a gulp of her drink, enjoying the gentle burn it gave her throat.

2D’s wails still reached them in the library as he begged for help and pills. Murdoc sighed as he went over to a vinyl player and put on Black Sabbath Dehumanizer and he jacked the sound up to cover 2D’s cries. Noodle found herself relaxing a tad as the alcohol dulled her senses when Murdoc called over to her. “So let’s get stoned and forget all about our problems shall we?”

Noodle looked at her drink, feeling tipsy. “This is my first margarita! I’m feeling plenty forgetful right now…”

Murdoc shook his head and tried to grab her drink back. “Awww, no! NOOOO! I forgot you are a drug virgin! You have to get high with me! Stop! Stop drinking that you’ll just fall asleep!” 

Noodle grinned deviously at him and tried to take another sip of her drink but Murdoc grabbed it from her and downed it one gulp, wiping his mouth with his hand and then waggled a finger at her. “Now listen here girly! Alcohol will get you in it’s grasp and never let you go, like pills… But Skunk, now that is a great way to figure your shite out!”

Noodle laughed. “I don’t need to figure anything out! I’m doing fine!” Then she suddenly felt an overwhelming sadness take her over as everything terrible in her life seemed to come crashing down on her psyche at once and she suddenly started to sob profusely. “Everything is terrible!”

Murdoc chuckled as he gave Cortez, who was hanging out on a bust of Beethoven, a scratch and then opened up his desk draw and pulled out a baggy of marijuana. The thick smell of marijuana filled the room as Murdoc opened the bag and packed a glass small pipe, lit it, and took a deep inhale before handing pipe and a lighter to Noodle. 

Noodle took the pipe with a heavy sob and then had a long drag on the pipe and held her breath as long as she could before letting the smoke slowly drift away from her. She waited a few seconds looking at the pipe in her hand. “I don’t feel any different…”

Murdoc gave her a snaggle tooth smile. “Well do you want to go run downstairs and listen to Faceache cry about his pills?”

Noodle shook her head. “Fuck no!” She clapped her hands to her face. “I said fuck! Damn! I said it again! Hahaha!!!” 

Murdoc laughed with her. “It’s working!”

Noodle giggled and took another hit and shook her head slowly from side to side seeing how the world seemed to swim around her delightfully. Murdoc took the pipe from her and had another hit himself as Noodle thought about everything that previously had her feeling tense and worried. Everything just felt more okay. Why had she been worried about helping out 2D when he screams? She couldn’t do anything to help him right now, but she also felt better about trying to get him clean. Noodle suddenly got up and grabbed Murdoc’s shoulders, shaking him as she told him her revelations. “I was so worried I couldn’t get 2D clean, but of course I can! I just need to keep refusing him his drugs and he will get clean! I just need to stay the course a few more days! I didn’t think I could but it’s easy. I. Just. Don’t. Give. Him. Drugs! Just stay on the course I’m on. He is going to make it!”

Murdoc blew out the breath of smoke he had been holding into Noodle’s face. “I think crisps would be good right now.”

Noodle’s brain light up. “Oh my gosh! Crisps!!! YES! Let’s get crisps!!!”

Noodle and Murdoc ran downstairs both pushing eachother out of the way to try and get to the kitchen first. Once in the kitchen they started opening cabinets and pulling out all of the snack foods they could find and putting them on the kitchen table. Looking at the assortment of foods in front of him, Murdoc grabbed a crisp and dipped it in the peanut butter jar. The crisp broke in half and he put his grody fingernails in the jar to scoop it out and then ate it. 

Noodle watched this intently as she said in a trance like state before muttering to herself. "There are no rules…" Then she grabbed a pickle and dragged it in the peanut butter jar, getting a glop of the brown stuff and shoving it in her face. 

Murdoc looked at her wide eyed. "Oh! Good idea! Is it any good?"

Noodle nodded thoughtfully to herself. "I wouldn't recommend it but I am glad I tried it and now I know why we don't mix these two." She dipped the pickle in the peanut butter again and took another defiant bite. “Yeah, not better the second time around. Guess that's why we don't usually do this…”

Murdoc nodded amicably and held out the chip bag. “Stick to the basics.” Noodle grabbed a chip and then Murdoc grabbed another. Popping it into his mouth he crunched on it a few times and swallowed as an idea occurred. His eyes lighting up he turned to Noodle grinning. “I wanna beat someone up!”

Suddenly Noodle was consumed by rage. She wanted to beat someone up too! She wanted to hurt someone,  _ destroy  _ someone! Get out all that pent up anger and aggression! She made a fist and pulled it back while looking at Murdoc’s punchable face.

“NOOooooOOOOoooo! Don’t hit me!” Murdoc cowered in front of her.

“Why not!? Don’t you beat up 2D everytime you want to let out your aggression?” Noodle yelled spitting in Murdoc’s face.

Murdoc straightened up to his full height and scowled at Noodle. “Not at all love! You have no idea how much I keep inside! You think I’m just some facking monster that gives into his baser needs all the time!?”

Noodle cocked her head to the side and looked at Murdoc. “Yes, that's exactly what I think of you.”

“ _ Humf! _ You know nothing ya little brat!” Murdoc argrily crossed his arms turned away from Noodle in a huff.

Noodle bit her lip and frowned. Did she really manage to offend Murdoc? More importantly did she really care that she just offended Murdoc? “Muds, I’m sorry. But you really are just such a womanizing, mean, abusive asshole!” Oops, that apology didn’t come out right. 

Murdoc turned around and looked at Noodle and sighed. “Now I really need to beat up someone…” He walked towards a shitty metal desk. With one sweep of his arm he pushed everything covering the table onto the floor. Then he grabbed one side of the table and tried to lift it up but only succeeded in pushing the table until he got it up against a wall. Then with a struggling heave he got it up on its end. He grabbed an ice bucket and a pen from the mess that he knocked off the table and scrawled a menacing sharp toothed face with a very long nose onto the bucket. Happy with his work he nodded to himself and put it on top of the uprighted table. He nodded to himself as he grabbed a baseball bat from the other side of the room. Feeling the heft and squeezing the handle a few times he slowly, purposely, turned around and then ran as fast as he could at the table.   
“YOU RUINED MY LIFE YOU FACKING BASTARD!!!” Murdoc started to beat the table as hard as he could with his bat leaving deep dents in the metal.

Noodle was surprised at Murdoc having this rather good idea of beating the crap out of an inanimate object. She ran over to a torn three seat orange couch that was about 5 decades past its prime and with a strong heave got it on its side and resting against the wall. She ran her eyes across the room trying to find a weapon of her own. She grabbed a harpoon and threw it at the couch watching as it sunk satisfyingly deep into its cushiony depths. That was satisfying but she wanted something she wack at the couch to really get the anger out. 

Pushing aside a collection of umbrellas in a corner of the room she found a sledge hammer. Grinning ear to ear she grasped it tightly with both hands and stormed towards the couch screaming at the top of her lungs. “Shinu!”

_ SMASH! _

With the first hit to the top of the couch it shattered downwards, wood splintering out of the orange fabric. Noodle continued to attack, smashing it over and over again with her hammer until it was a flattened heap. Once she was done, panting heavily she turned and noticed that Murdoc had stopped beating up the table and was instead looking appraisingly at the destruction she had created. Lifting the hammer high above her head again she ran over to the badly dented table next to Murdoc and swung the hammer down with all of her considerable strength. 

“ _ Oi! _ What the hell ya doing!? This one’s mine!” Murdoc was indignate that she was destroying his quarry.

Between heavy breaths and hits she yelled back at him. “You just beat him up! I’m  _ destroying _ him!”

Murdoc’s anger overcame his fear of getting hit by the sledgehammer as he grasped Noodle’s shoulder and spun her away from the table. Murdoc angrily jabbed a finger in her chest. “This ‘ere is my Dad! No one beats ‘im up ‘cept me!”

Noodle, panting, let the sledge hammer slip to the ground. “Oh…”

“ _ Humf!  _ You don’t see me going and beating up your effigy now do you?” 

Noodle slumped down on the floor leaning up against the wall, tired from beating up the couch and the table. “This is a good idea of yours…. Beating up furniture…”

Murdoc sighed and slumped down on the floor next to Noodle. “I’ve got loads of good ideas… Gorillaz for one…”

Noodle chuckled to herself. “Why do you beat up 2D all the time if you could just do this?”

“Awww, well, I don’t see the fear in the furniture's eyes… Plus buying new furniture is expensive….”

Noodle turned and looked into Murdoc’s mismatched eyes. “You like that 2D fears you!?”

“Course! Makes me feel  _ powerful _ . Bet that's how my dad felt when he had me there, just beating the life out of me. Powerful. In control. Power is the best drug in the world!”

Noodle shook her head in disgust and looked down at her knees. “You're a sick man.”

“Everyone’s sick, love. Some people just hide it better than others. 2D’s not hiding it very well at the moment, now is he?”

Noodle shook her head. “No. No he isn’t….”

They sat in silence for a moment and then Murdoc sighed and spoke as he stared deeply at his boots. “I don’t know why I gave him all the pills… I thought… I don’t know what I thought…. I’m glad you saved him.”

Noodle ran a finger over a crack in the floor. “I’m glad someone is…”

Murdoc chuckled and looked at her. “Regretting it?”

“No… I mean, I’m not happy right now… But I don’t regret saving him. I just think he really regrets saving him.”

Murdoc stretched out his legs in front of him and crossed his arms. “2D’s more facked up than he ever has been before.”

Noodle continued staring deeply into the crack on the floor. “Maybe you’re right… Maybe… Maybe he needs his pills…”

Murdoc shrugged and pressed his lips together in a tight line but didn’t say anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From here on out there is some definite 2NU, or as a prefer to think of it Toodle, going on. Sorry if you don't ship it. :/  
> 2D is 32 and Noodle is 20, they are both consenting adults and although they were together a bunch while she grew up, they were also apart a lot too. Also I think of Noodle as way more mature and adult than 2D so there is that...


	11. Swinging Pirate Ship

The next day when Noodle woke up, finding herself alone in the library and strewn on the remains of a very smashed up couch, her brain felt like it was filled with fuzz and she felt exhausted, but there was a wonderful feeling of calm in her chest. Slowly she ran through what happened last night. She remembered smoking, beating up shit and felt like she might have had a heart to heart with Murdoc, but she couldn’t remember what they talked about. 

Then she remembered 2D, who had probably been screaming most of the night while she was too high to care. She felt a pang of guilt for not checking in on him but he was quiet now so she hoped he was asleep and if that was the case she didn’t want to wake him up.  _ He might be dead. _ Well if he was dead her checking on him after she went to the bathroom and made breakfast wouldn't matter anyway.

Banking on 2D being okay, Noodle decided maybe some eggs would make his day. She remembered he always liked eggs and she could hear him quoting Clockwork Orange in her head.  _ Eggy wegs! I would like to take ‘em and smash em! _

Noodle was having cereal and cooking the eggs when Murdoc stumbled into the kitchen. “Still mothering 2D?” Murdoc mumbled groggily at Noodle as he fell into a kitchen chair. “Nhuh, huh, that bastard is being more trouble than he is worth. Maybe I should kick him out and get sick so you can do your mother hen bullshit on me, eh Noods? Nhuh, uh, uh?”

"Good morning Murdoc." Noodle said as she focused on making a smiley face out of eggs, toast and bacon. "I made coffee and some extra eggs and bacon." She looked up at the green man before getting a cup of orange juice. "Thanks for last night. I needed that."

Murdoc scuffed the floor with his shoe looking unnaturally bashful. "Let me know if you need something for Faceache. You're, uh, doing good… Helping him…"

Noodle nodded and gave him a tight smile before grabbing 2D’s food and going to the elevator and leaving Murdoc to contemplate his life. 

The elevator door opened up 2D’s room. 2D stirred in his bed and made groggy eye contact with Noodle. He was a sorry sight with his pale, sunken face with its huge purple bruises under his dark crust covered eyes. He also had long, red, scabs running down his cheeks from where he had clawed himself with his nails. “Ello, Noods.” He croaked out in a raspy voice to her, all the screaming seemed to have really wrecked his throat.

Still hearing his voice, and not being yelled at brightened Noodle up a bit. Summoning up a bigger smile then she felt, she showed him the happy face eggs and bacon. "Breakfast Toochi!”

A small smile twitched across his face at the breakfast face and then he looked at Noodle and frowned. "Wot 'appened ta yewr face?”

Noodle tried to keep her perky facade up. "You hit me in the face last night while you were screaming and clawing yourself."

2D shook his head in disbelief that turned into horror. "Naw… Naw…. I---I did that!?"

Noodle nodded as she put the tray on his lap. "You did." Part of her worried this would set him off again and he would get upset. The other part of her hoped it would set him off so she could yell at him more for all of his bullshit.

2D was looking at her face in disgust at what he did to her and he started to hit his head with the palm of his hands. "I am so terribly sorry! Nooods!!! I am sooo sorry!!!"

He started hitting himself more violently before Noodle grabbed his wrists. "Shush, this isn't helping either of us. Calm down."

He looked up at her tears coming down his face as he rocked back and forth. "But I 'urt yew! Yew should never be 'urt! 'Urting meself is one fing but 'hurting yew!!!" He violently shook his head at what he had done. 

"Look at me Toochi. Look at me! You hurting yourself hurts me more than you punching me. You're my best friend and I missed you for 5 long years. I was so excited to see you again and it broke my heart when I saw you on the floor. Now if you really care about me and what I want you will stop hurting yourself!"

2D looked at her with a mixture of shock and confusion. "Yew care about me?"

Noodle sighed with exasperation, sometimes he really was slow. "Yes! Now instead of moping and hitting yourself can you do something for me after everything I have done for you?"

Turning red with embarrassment 2D slowly nodded. 

“Well okay then. Do you think you can eat this by yourself today?”

2D gave a shy smile and slowly shuffled to grab his cigarette and lighter with a shaky hand. “Might do, luv... Sit wif me?” Noodle sat down on the edge of his bed reveling in the small win.

2D struggled with getting his lighter to work until Noodle took the lighter from him and lit his cigarette while he sat there, looking embarrassed at how incapable he was. He hoped Noodle would stay next to him even though he knew he had been really mean to her and didn't deserve her company. 

He felt two strong and conflicting urges towards her. He wanted to yell at her about all the pain he was in AND have her just sit and be kind to him. Her presents always helped and he knew she had been more sweet towards him than he deserved and yet he still wanted to yell at her for no reason other than he hurt. On top of that he felt deeply embarrassed for how he had been acting towards her and that also made him angry.

2D took a long slow drag on his cigarette and very slowly put a half of toast in his egg and with a shaky hand lifted it to his mouth, taking a small bite. He laboriously chewed and swallowed. His stomach growled angrily at the food it received and he felt nauseous. Suddenly it occurred to him that he hadn't asked Noodle anything about the past 5 year. How could he have been so self centered!? All he could remember of his interactions with her was panicking, yelling and crying. He looked up at her eyes wide. "Noods! I don't know why I didn't ask yew earlier! What 'appened to ya?"

Noodle squinted at him. "You hit---"

"Naw, I know 'bout that! What happened that yew were missing! I spent years looking for yew and I've been so facked up I didn't even ask what 'appened ta yew!"

The tentative relaxation that Noodle had just started to feel evaporated and she felt muscles tighten all over her body. “I was in Hell…”

2D looked with worry from one emerald eye to the other. “It was true? Yew were in ‘ell?”

Noodle nodded. “Yeah.”

2D bit his lip, wanting to ask more but seeing that she didn’t want to say anymore on the subject he did the only thing he could think of, he opened up his arms wide. “Do yew need a hug?”

Noodle felt like he had just stabbed her heart as she remembered the little girl that would have loved a comforting hug to take away all the scariness and pain, especially from 2D. He hugged her tightly, closely, always letting her lead. If she pulled away he pulled away, if she stayed in the hug he stayed in the hug for as long as she needed. It always felt very considerate and kind. But now the thought of hugging him now filled her with terror. Too much of him, holding her, not letting her go. Too much touching. Too much enclosure. Shaking her head looked away from him and spoke in a whisper. “No, I don’t want to be hugged.”

2D’s hands wilted down and he frowned compassionately at her while wondering why she didn’t accept his offer of affection. “Ummm, okay… If… If yew want ta talk about it or sumfing, or anyfing…. ‘M ‘ere. I know I can’t do much, but ‘m ‘ere….” He shrugged and gave her a sad little smile.

Noodle gave a tight smile to 2D. He was slow on the uptake on some things but when it came to compassion he was always spot on and she deeply appreciated him for being their for her but now she was stuck thinking about David being on top of her not letting her go. She shook her head, trying to knock the thoughts from her mind. 2D was looking sadly at her then moved his gaze down to his eggs.

Noodle gave him a heartfelt smile and nudged the plate. “Come on, stop stalling and try to eat a bit more before it gets cold. Maybe you can actually get some meat on your bones. You're so skinny it's painful to look at.”

2D poked an egg with his fork. “Don’t want ta lose me sex appeal.” He looked up at her dolefully.

Noodle chuckled at him and lightly punched his shoulder. “I don’t want to lose you, you big goof.” 

2D gave a rueful smile and then sighed at the rest of his breakfast. His stomach was confused and didn't know if it wanted more or to barf. “Oi, yew sure did do a lot ta keep my ‘ere. All this keeping me fed n’ clean. I know I’ve been terrible ta yew. Fanks, is all. Fanks a lot.” 2D was too ashamed to look at her in the eyes and kept his gaze on his plate.

Noodle felt a bloom of warmth in her chest. That was her friend. A tiny glimmer of the sweetheart that she always knew he was. Maybe things would be better. She felt a desperate need to feel like things would only go up from here, and a desperate fear that by the end of breakfast 2D would be screaming and throwing things again. She was so tired of dealing with his crazy mood swings, his pain and his messes. “I know this is tough Toochi. It's really, really tough, and I’m so sorry you have to go through this.”

2D managed a half hearted smile focused on slowly finishing his breakfast with shaking hands. Noodle stayed with him, enjoying having a quiet, peaceful moment to just let her tired mind be empty. Once he was done eating he closed his eyes and groaned as he relaxed his body back into the bed, one hand on his stomach, and one hand rubbing his temples as he started to shiver. Noodle picked up the tray from his lap and he cracked open an eye to look at her. “Could--- Could yew stay wif me a bit longer?” He looked up at her with his two eightball orbs pleadingly.

Noodle gave a small smile as she sat down on the edge of the bed and put the tray on the bedside table. 2D gave a thankful but slightly embarrassed smile at having requested she stay with him and his face flushed, making Noodle give a small giggle. 

Wanting to help him with some of his pain she leaned over and put a hand on his clammy forehead, slowly started to rub his temples. His body became rigid as she touched him but he slowly relaxed nuzzling his head into her hand he whispered quietly to himself. "Are you sure yewr Noods, cuz Noods would never ‘ave put up wif me..." 

Noodle sighed as she brought her other hand up to further rub his aching brain case. “I’m not the same person. I… I don’t know who I am now… All I know is that whoever I am, I’m here, and you're here and I want you to be okay.” She noticed he was getting a deep wrinkle between his eyebrows from years of crunching his forehead up in pain. A small voice in her head told her to lean down and kiss the deep line.  _ To help take away the pain. _ Shocked at herself she quickly pushed that thought away and instead lightly ran her thumb down the length of the wrinkle on his forehead. As she rubbed his head his tightly knit brow started to relax and 2D let out a little huff as the pain slowly receded a bit from his head. 

"Fanks. Fanks so much. I am so sorry. So, so sorry." He put his boney hand on her hand as it massaged his head. Noodle froze for a second, took a deep breath, told herself being touched by his hand was okay. It was just a hand on her hand. It wasn’t stopping her from moving. She even found herself smiling as he gently squeezed her hand affectionately. It felt nice to be touched, she hadn’t been touched affectionately since before Hell. All the anger and hurt she had been feeling towards 2D seemed to melt away and she couldn’t believe she was ever angry at him as she continued rubbing his head and sang softly to him until he fell asleep. 

***

Once 2D was sleeping she found that she was overcome with tiredness as well. She could go upstairs and sleep on the couch but that seemed like such a huge effort and Murdoc would probably be bumbling around in the kitchen making noise and waking her up. No, she wanted to stay down here. 

2D was up against the wall and she decided to lay down on the bed next to him settling herself in the bed as quietly as she could. She lay down facing him and made sure that no part of her body was touching his, meaning she was closer to the edge than she wanted to be but that was a small price to pay for her being next to 2D. She found his presents strangely comforting, just like when she was a child. She was always the more capable of the two but he always made her feel comfortable and safe. She felt a part of herself relaxing in a way she hadn’t since she fell from the island. 

She grabbed a pillow and cradled it in her arms, wondering if she would ever feel okay being held like she was holding the pillow. As she started to go to sleep she looked at 2D’s profile with its scraggly blue facial hair. Her last thoughts as sleep claimed her was that he was really quite cute and he had beautiful long eyelashes. 

_ BLLLEEEEEH! _

Noodle was woken up by a warm wet mass on her chest and stomach and as she opened her eyes she saw 2D, with vomit dripping down his chin, looking mortified as he realized he threw up on her. 

Maybe a full breakfast wasn't such a good idea. Noodle felt all the calm, relaxed feelings she had been cultivating go out the window, not just because she was now covered in barf, but because 2D was having a panic attack and that was very stressful to be around.

2D wished the bed would swallow him up in his embarrassment “No, no, no, no, no, no… ‘m sorry!” He started to cry and hit himself in the head with his hands.

Noodle grabbed his arms and shushed him. “Shush, shoooo. Stop hitting yourself. I know you're embarrassed but it’s okay. Hush. Come on get off the bed.” She grabbed his forearms and helped him up. He was crying, shaking, cold, had barf on his face and probably hadn’t had a bath in a month. 

“Look, you're going to feel better if you get washed up. Come on.” She held his forearm and started to pull him towards the bathroom, faster than he was prepared for, as he wailed and hit himself, eyes closed in shame and self hate. Suddenly he tripped and fell on Noodle, his large gangly limbs all over her and she was not prepared for this. All the stress she had been dealing with recently fell on her and she was tired. Tired of this wreck of a man who couldn’t stop hurting himself and was currently touching her way more than she wanted and she just wanted to be far, far away from everyone. 

“ _ Yamete! _ ” Noodle screamed and violently threw 2D off of her. 

2D fell to the ground sobbing and curled up into the fetal position, knees to his chest and bawling as he bashed his head with his hands.  _ “‘M suuuuhhhhh----suuuuuhhhh SOOOOOORRRRRRYYYYYYYYYY!” _

Noodle grabbed her head in her hands as she slumped to the ground and let her own panic attack take over her body and she found herself holding her knees and shaking back and forth. “SHUT UP WITH YOUR SORRIES!!!!!! STOP HITTING YOURSELF!!!!!! I AM SO TIRED OF HEARING YOU APOLOGIZE AND JUST KEEP HURTING YOURSELF!!!! CALM DOWN!!!!!”

2D froze for one long second, his dark eyes taking in Noodle’s outburst, then he started bawling again with renewed fury since he had been yelled at by the person who cared the most about him. “‘M SORRY NOODS!!!!! I KNOW YEW DON’T WANT MY SORRRIES BUT I AM SORRY!!!!!! I DON’T KNOW WHAT ELSE I CAN DO!!!!  _ SNAAAAFFFFF! _ ” Tears, snot and vomit covered his face.

“THEN SHUT UP!!!!!” Noodle screeched as she curled up on the floor and let spasms of fear and pain ride through her body.  _ The breath on her face. The slicing on her chest. The whispering in her ear.  _ Noodle wished it would all go away and she could just have calm emptiness.

2D tried to stay quiet but he couldn’t stop the loud sobs that still shook through his body as he looked at Noodle having her own breakdown on the floor. Eventually Noodle found her sobs started to turn to absurd, choking, laughs. Noodle wiped her nose with her sleeve inbetween laughing sobs. “ _ Sniiifff!  _ We’re a pair, aren’t we!?”

2D, was still blubbering on the floor but he looked at her somewhat scared at her change in demeanor. “Wot?”

Noodle took a deep breath to calm herself. “We are both sitting on the floor, crying about who knows what…”

2D’s face was bright red as he breathed heavily through his mouth. “‘M crying cuz I was mean to yew and now yew don’t like me!”

Noodle sighed and shuffled over on her hands and knees towards 2D. “I like you Toochi. But this is hard for me too… And Hell left some deep wounds….” Noodle found her hand running over her chest and feeling the lumps of scar tissue under her shirt.

2D wouldn’t look her in the eyes as his words sputtered out. “Yew aren’t gonna stop being wif me?”

Noodle shook her head. “Of course not! We’re getting through this together Toochi.” Noodle took a deep breath and readied herself for touching and being touched. She put her hand around 2D’s skinny chest and pulled him up. He wrapped his long arm around her shoulder to support himself. She felt her body go rigid and felt adrenaline start to course through her body but she took a deep breath and focused on the bathroom door. It wasn’t far. She could handle this. Noodle pulled 2D forward as he made slow staggering steps towards the bathroom. 

Once in the bathroom she let him down so he was sitting on the toilet. She took a deep breath. She had made it without yelling or throwing him away from her! She basked in this small success as she ran the water in the tub. “Either you strip and get in the tub or you get in the tub with your clothes on, but either way, get in the tub.”

2D’s shaking hands started to take off his shirt. Noodle took that as he was okay by himself and she went out of the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

As Noodle stripped the bed she heard 2D muttering to himself from the bathroom while splashing water angrily. “She's nefer gonna be wif me again!”

Noodle sighed as she grabbed the soiled sheets along with some of 2D’s other dirty clothes, and a not terribly soiled shirt of 2D's that said "Shoot to Ill" to replace her dirty shirt and went off to change and do the laundry. It seemed the engineer was a good housekeeper, as she found a bunch of perfectly folded sheets next to the laundry machine. Whispering a small thank you under her breath to the potato pod man she grabbed the new sheets and returned downstairs.

Once she came back to 2D’s room she heard him through the bathroom door, still gently sobbing but he wasn’t talking to himself anymore. She put the sheets back on his bed and knocked on the bathroom door. “You okay in there Toochi? Do you need help?”

“‘M a facking peice of shit. Just when fings start getting better it all goes ta shit again.”

“Do you need help?” Noodle said ignoring his negative self talk.

“No, ‘m coming out.”

Noodle heard the splash of water as he got out of the bath and rustled around a bit until the door opened and he had a towel around his waist. He looked ghastly without a shirt on. Just tight gray skin on bones like something out of a concentration camp. His hands, elbows, knees, feet and head all looked weirdly large on his underweight body. It looked like he shaved while in the bath but he didn’t do a good job with his shaking hands leaving some scruffy blue patches and a mass of bleeding nicks that bled down his face not to mention he managed to shaved off the scabs from clawing his face. He was still crying and he didn’t want to look at her but at least he was clean.

Noodle felt bad for him. She held out her hand to him. “Come on Toochi, let's get you back to bed.”

2D shuffled uncomfortably. “Yew don’t hafta ‘elp me. Not afta that…"

Noodle smiled at him, reaching forward and grabbing his bony hand she pulled him forward and put an arm around his sharp hip bone as he put his arm on her shoulder. Trying hard to clear her thoughts and focus on helping him to the bed she got him across the room and let him down on the mattress. 2D lay down on the bed, fist clenching the sheet as he took a deep inhale of the clean bedding and broke into sobs again while shivering. He scooted up against the wall, trying to hide from her as best he could and his towel slipped a bit showing his boney ass. 

This was it, Noodle thought. His most pathetic, pitiful state she had ever seen him in. She didn’t think that cruelly or with repulsion, it was just a fact, he was so helpless and fragile looking. He was fucked up and broken, and she was there for him. She was the only one there for him and as she looked at him she knew, without a doubt, she loved him.

Noodle wrapped 2D up in all cleanish blankets she could find laying around and sat down next to him. “Nowhere to go but up from here.”

2D's body concluded with shivers. “My 'ead 'urts.” 

“I know. It's gonna be okay, in the end, and if it's not okay, it's not the end.” Noodle whispered and lay down behind him and reached a hand over to rub his head as she quietly hummed a gentle tune to him. Eventually his crying stopped and it was replaced with gentle breathing as he fell to sleep. Noodle let her fingertips brush through his soft hair as she pulled her hand away and quietly padded out of the room.

***

A few days passed with their ups and downs. 2D had a few more days of screaming but not at Noodle. Those days passed and then he just stayed in bed, not wanting to get up and crying all the time.

Noodle decided 2D needed some exercise and started to try to get 2D to take a small walk with her. "Come on Toochi, let's get out of this messy room and take a look at the messy house!"

2D was on the bed facing her. "I just want ta stay ‘ere Noods. Yew've been hovering over me this whole time, making me eat, not letting me have pills. Just let me do what I want ta for once! Let me stay ‘ere. ‘M fine and can take care of myself."

So he was going to be obstinate today. "No." Noodle grabbed his hand and started pulling him off the bed. 

2D pulled his hand away from her and turned around to face the wall with an angry huff. "'M not gonna go! Leave me alone."

It felt like a switch went off in her head and Noodle felt so angry. She was doing all this to help him and he wasn't even trying to help himself! Didn't he see all the shit she was going through, for him!? Sometimes he would seem so upset for something he did, like throwing up on her, or so thankful for the food, but now when she wanted something from him he didn't want to do it! The thing she wanted from him was for his own bloody good anyway, and he couldn't be bothered! He wasn’t even trying to meet her a quarter of the way through this struggle! Why the fuck was she bothering with this ungreatful toad!

She wanted to yell all this at the stupid bluenette, but instead she just felt defeated and found she was shaking and crying over the bed looking at 2D's back.

2D heard her sniffling and turned around looking over at her. "Oh no… Bloody ‘ell, Noods. 'm sorry. It's just not fair and I don't want ta get up, and I don't see why I should, but if it would make yew ‘appy…" 

Noodle still wanted to yell at him, especially since he still seemed to be blaming her for bothering him, but she swallowed her pride, and her anger. Taking a deep breath, she held out her hand to help 2D up.

Noodle still didn’t like being touched when she wasn’t expecting it but she was okay with helping 2D around. She liked helping the tall bean and although she wouldn’t admit it to herself it was healing to touch someone and not be hurt. 

2D grabbed her hand and with a great show of effort, probably to show her how much he didn’t want to, he sat up. Noodle leaned over and grabbed his waist and helped pull him up into a standing position. When her hand went around his bony side, she felt her heart soften. She could feel his ribs sticking out under his shirt and his belly was so sunken in. It reminded her, all the anger and bullshit he gave her was because he was in pain, and not doing well. He had been her best friend since she came out of that FedEx box, she shouldn’t be so quick to be angry at him.

He groaned as he wobbled unsteadily next to her. He was so much taller than her, even though he was slouching, she had to crane her neck to look at him in the face.

"You can do this!" Noodle said smiling and giving him a squeeze with her arm.

“Yeah” 2D muttered slowly shuffling forward with Noodle’s help.

At least 2D was light so she could easily help walk him but damn was it concerning to feel him being so skinny.

Noodle led 2D to the elevator. She had tried to make sure Murdoc wasn’t around to harass 2D before suggesting this walk in the first place. Luckily Murdoc seemed to be giving 2D a healthy amount of space. Also the bender he was on with some ladies he had shipped in helped keep Murdoc from wanting to make more music at the moment, which was great because it was giving 2D some time to recover from his withdrawal.

Once they got into the elevator they jiggled up to the top deck which had a small sitting area and some plastic grass. This was the first time 2D has been in the sun in months. He shielded his eyes from the sun and his skin looked even more grey and sickly in the sunlight. 

"S' bright out."

"Astute observation." Noodle said as she led him to a free standing hammock and she let him down on it slowly as he huffed and he lay down sideways on in. She lay next to him and looked him over. "How are you doing Toochi?"

"I'm okay." He muttered. He was breathing heavily and trying to find his pack of cigarettes in his pajamas. He was getting less shaky but the short walk up here seemed to have taken a lot out of him. He struggled to light his cigarette as his hand shook and he grumbled in frustration. Noodle started to sit up to help light the cigarette but he waved her off and finally succeeded in lighting it himself. After taking a deep breath he passed it to her. She didn't particularly want to share a cigarette, but she took a drag as a way to commiserate with 2D and keep him from having the whole thing himself. 

Noodle looked over the harsh green grass around them as she flicked ash off the cigarette. “I wish this place had flowers.”

2D grunted as he took the cigarette from her hand and took a deep inhale. Noodle pursed her lips as she looked at 2D who was squinting ahead at the ocean. "Statistically speaking, you're over the worst of it." 

"That's a relief, I wouldn't a known if ya hadn't a told me." 2D muttered and blew out a lung full of smoke. A  [ despondent ](https://www.powerthesaurus.org/despondent/synonyms) smile curled on the corner of his lips. “At least it’s warm up ‘ere. First time I don’t feel cold in ages.” Noodle frowned at him as she thought about the permanent chill he had now a days. 2D’s large eyes turned away from the ocean and found Noodle. “Was it hot in Hell?”

Noodle nodded and looked at her hands. “Yeah.”

2D nodded and rolled the cigarette back and forth in his fingertips. “That wouldn’t ta been nice... Sure it wasn’t the worst part o ‘ell tho.”

Noodle knew he was trying to find out more. She wasn’t sure what to say. “I met a lot of people. Hung out with Elvis…”

2D looked duly impressed and nodded.

“He was a jerk.”

2D nodded knowingly.

Noodle sighed. “Hell isn’t so bad, most of the time. It’s kinda just like a really messed up Earth filled with sad people. The really bad part is the personal Hell that everyone has to go through. Cuthbert experienced burning to death every day! Can you imagine going through that? Every day…” Cuthbert’s yellow eyes filled with worry and fear flashed in her mind. She bit her lip and found her eyes were watery.

2D cocked his head to the side. “Cuthbert! Haven’t seen ‘im in ages! What happened ta ‘im?” 

Noodle winced as she looked at 2D. “He was destroyed for helping me escape Hell…”

2D looked aghast and shook his head before taking another puff of his cigarette. “Blimey… Poor li’l guy! I remember yew and ‘im usta have a great time playing tagether… Yew must miss ‘im!”

Noodle nodded and was overcome with emotions she didn’t even know she was holding back. “He gave up his existence to help me... I didn’t deserve that! He didn’t deserve Hell! I mean… Actually, he did do heinous things… But he spent hundreds of years in hell for that and it doesn’t seem fair!”

2D bit his lip with his fang. He wanted to offer her a hug but he was afraid she would reject it again and that would just make everything awkward. Instead he held out a shaky hand to her palm up. Noodle grasped it quickly in both of her tiny delicate hands and  _ squeezed _ . She squeezed as tightly as she could as sputtering sobs came from her mouth. 2D squeezed back until Noodle slowly regained control of herself and calmed down. She stopped crushing 2D’s hand, but she didn’t let go. 2D gave her a sad smile as he squished out his cigarette on the metal support of the hammock. “Nuffing’s fair li’l luv and I doubt that was the only fing yew ‘ad ta deal wif in ‘ell….”

Noodle pressed her lips together and looked down at their hands. “No, it wasn’t the only thing.” She rubbed her thumb over the soft skin on the back of 2D’s big paw. She looked at her small hand holding his large, tendony one and found herself feeling a deep warmth towards 2D. Being with him was like being under a large comfy blanket that she never wanted to leave. She found her eyes had wandered to his face taking in his profile as he was sadly watching his cigarette smoke dance away from him. 

Then a large brown head popped up from over the railing. "Yo, D!"

"AAAAUUUUUGGGGG" 2D screamed tried to back up on the hammock and tipped the hammock over knocking both himself and Noodle to the ground. "Uggg! Wot the bloody ‘ell ‘appened to yew!?"

Russel smirked. "You didn't tell him Baby Girl?" 

Noodle was getting up from the ground and righting the hammock and shot Russel an embarrassed grin. "Whoops, yeah, forgot to tell him about you..."

Russel sighed, he was getting tired of telling the same story over and over again. "I ate a lot of radioactive shit in the ocean, this happened."

"Oh, Russ, that's terrible. I'm sorry! I'm glad ta see yew though!" 2D said getting a hand up from Noodle and sitting back on the hammock.

"I'm glad to see you too. I heard you had a close call back there. I'm glad you're still here. Wouldn't want to have another friend up here..." Russel tapped on his head with a sad smile.

"Yeah... I'm ere..." 2D said half heartedly.

"Don't sound too excited about it." Russel chuckled.

"I appreciate it. I do… Specially everyfing Noodle’s been doing for me." 2D said quietly and shot a small smile at Noodle. A silence fell on all three people as they each pondered mortality. Eventually 2D sighed and looked at Noodle. “I fink I had enough excitement for one day, let's go back down.”

Noodle nodded and shared a sad smile and shrug with Russel before helping 2D back to his room. Before 2D collapsed back in the bed he gave Noodle a little squeeze with the arm around her shoulder and muttered quietly to her. “Fanks, li'l luv.”

“Of course Toochi.” Noodle said as she tucked blanket around 2D 

2D had shivers again and spoke between chattering teeth. “Fanks for not giving up on me. ‘M sorry, I don’t know why I’ve been so angry and sad.”

Noodle squeezed his blanket covered shoulder. The ups and downs were still happening with 2D but they were less volatile then they had been but she also was feeling more worn out dealing with them as time went on. “It’s okay Toochi. I know what you're going through is really messing you up. Thank me by trying to keep down some food. I don’t want to be feeling your ribs everytime I touch you.”

2D smiled at her and his tongue plopped out of the gap in his teeth making her laugh. There he was! That was a glimmer of her best friend and that made all the bad times they had together look a little better. Suddenly he looked bashful and got a slight red flush to his face. “Do… Do yew want to watch a movie wif me?”

“Awww Toochi! I would love that!!! We haven’t seen a movie together in half a decade!” 2D grinned ear to ear at her. “But if we are gonna do this, I’m getting us some snacks.” 

“Can’t ‘ave a movie wif out snacks.” 2D said chuckling and shuffling to get a hand out of his blanket cacoon so he could reached over to the bedside table looking for a remote control in the mess. Noodle went upstairs and looked around for something edible. 2D seemed to be keeping everything down now, but his appetite was fickle as ever, how else had he stayed that skinny over the years anyway.

At Kong Studio Russel was usually in charge of making food. He was a hearty eater and hearty cooker usually making big meals that the rest of the crew would only pick at. Noodle was never a big eater. Murdoc preferred a liquid diet of alcohol so solid foods were not a big draw for him though he did have a bit of a beer gut going on and 2D seemed just not to notice food much. Maybe all the pills he took filled him up or twisted his guts up into knots so he couldn’t eat but he always did seem to perk up around sweets.

She decided maybe appealing to his sweet tooth would do the trick. She grabbed a bowl of some non rancid looking chocolate chip cookies and some milk that she poured into a cup, shaped like Jack Skellington’s head, and brought them down with her to 2D’s room. He was smiling at her and seemed more alert than he had in ages. 

She handed him the milk which he took in a shaky hand and gave her a grateful smile and licked his lips as he looked at the cookies in the bowl which she placed on his chest. 

Noodle, put another blanket on him and sat down next to him, nudging him over on the bed so she could lie down. 

"I wanted sumfing familiar." 2D said nodding towards the TV that had Napoleon Dynamite on. Noodle smiled at the choice, it was one of their favorites, even though it wasn’t a zombie movie. 2D offered the bowl of cookies to Noodle. "Ave one. Yew could eat more, too, luv."

Noodle shot him a disbelieving look but grabbed on anyway. She started to bite into it but 2D stopped her yelling “No! Not like that! Are yew some kinda monster!?”

Noodle stopped, eyes large with worry. “What?”

“Yew have to dip it in the milk.”

“You don’t  _ have _ to dip it…”

“Yes, yew do! Otherwise a hole opens up in the space time continuum.”

“Damn, don’t want that to happen, hand me the milk.” He moved cup over so they could dunk together, their knuckles touching.

“Hold it for 3 seconds, at least.” He said matter of factly.

“This is such a process…” Noodle sighed in mock exasperation, waiting for the three seconds and taking her dripping cookie out and trying to bite it before the milk fell on the blanket.

“All good fings are a process…” 2D grinned at her as he took his own cookie out of the milk and bit it from the side of his face, to cover for his missing front teeth. “Want another?” His large hand held out the bowl to her shaking it enticingly at her as he smiled.

“No, I’m good. You enjoy them. Hey, did you ever consider getting some dental implants? Might make eating easier....”

“What? So Muds has something else to break on me? Naw, I’m like a painting to ‘im, he made me the way I am and I wouldn’t want ta ruin it.”

Noodle frowned. “That's some heavy codependency bullshit.”

“Yeah, I always fought he ‘ad a codpiece.” Noodle laughed at him, not knowing if he was just really brain damaged or really funny was part of his charm. He smiled at her, whether he was trying to be funny or not, he was happy he made her smile.

For the rest of the movie he just mindlessly munched on the cookies and drank his milk while watching the movie. They quoted all the best lines in unison. "Make yourself a dang quesadilla!" Noodle laughed at 2D's American accent.

Noodle noticed how incredibly mindful she felt about how close they were to each other throughout the movie. At the beginning of the movie they definitely had a thin line of space between them but somehow as time went on their elbows had started touching and then she found that her whole upper arm was touching his and she was aware of how soft and warm it was. It was just a casual happenstance, they were friends, this was normal. And when 2D moved his knee so it was gently touching her leg, that was just him shifting to be more comfortable. Normal, and the heat she felt where they were touching, that was normal too. What had even been happening on the TV the last hour? She couldn’t remember. It wasn’t important. His big hands grabbing a cookie and putting it in his mouth, now that was something to watch.

“Ugg, I got me a ‘eadache and a bellyache.” 2D complained at the end of the movie. Noodle looked over and noticed he had eaten all the cookies. She looked down to his belly, which he was gently holding with his hands. He was adorable looking at her with his two black orbs and stuffed belly. She hoped he could keep it all down and she just wanted to hug him so bad, but she knew what he really wanted.

She knew he was asking for pills. Pills was all he ever really wanted. That wasn’t going to happen. She sat up on the bed, sideways to him and put one hand on his head and gently rubbed his head and put her other hand on his stuffed little belly, rubbing small light circles on it. She was surprised at herself for taking this initiative but she wanted to touch his belly, she wanted to be kind to it. It had suffered so much from being starved and stuffed with pills. She felt such tenderness touching him and delighted in how warm and soft his belly was.

His body went rigid at her touch. "Uhh, luv, you know if Murdoc saw this he might say sumthin nasty..."

"Murdoc always says something nasty."

"Yes, but... Noods..." 2D said turning red.

"Shhhh, just relax."

Slowly 2D relaxed into her gentle touch with a little groan of pleasure. Eventually her rubbing helped with both aches. He was on the brink of sleep when Noodle stopped rubbing him. She gave him a quick peck on the top of the head. So quick he wasn’t even sure if she really did kiss him or not. “Anata no koto o aishite imasu.” Noodle whispered before getting up and leaving the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was a sap fest but I just love writing these two being cute together. Comments, good or bad, really make my day. I used to read other people's fanfiction where they said comments meant a lot to them and didn't believe it. It REALLY means a lot to me. So thanks to the people who did, you guys rock :D


	12. Funnel Cake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is gonna get real fluffy and sappy. I am sorry in advance. If you want more drama, don't worry that will be coming along in future chapters. Thanks to everyone who comments!!!! YOU GUYS MAKE MY WEEK!

The next day, after a nice breakfast of orange juice and 2 chocolate-chip pancakes in syrup (to appeal to that sweet tooth), Noodle tried to coax 2D to come upstairs with her for a bit, maybe say hi to Murdoc and whatever girl he had shipped-in via sub to spend the night with him. The next day after a nice breakfast of orange juice and 2 chocolate chip pancakes in syrup, to appeal to that sweet tooth, Noodle tried to coax 2D to come up stairs with her for a bit. Maybe say hi to Murdoc and whatever girls he had shipped in via sub to spend the night with him. 

“That was a big breakfast for little ol’ me.” 2D muttered, obviously wanting to stay in bed and absent mindedly rubbing his middle with one hand as he grabbed a cigarette with the other. 

“Come on Toochi! I’m not gonna let you shrivel away in bed here. Get up!" Noodle grabbed his dishes in one hand and held out a hand to him. 

“Kay, Noods, I’ll get up! I’ll get up.” He sighed as he lit up the cigaret and grabbed Noodle’s waiting hand as she helped pull him up. She held his hand, and he stumbled a bit as they moved away from the bed. "Uh, can I put my 'and on yewr shoulder? I don't 'ave my balance yet..."

Noodle stopped moving forwards and looked up at the tall blue boy. "Yeah, of course. You've been doing that for awhile now, why are you asking?"

"Well, yew don't seem ta like it..." 2D muttered between his lips which were holding his cigarette.

Noodle looked away from his gaze. "Oh. Yeah. I don't."

2D nodded. "So I won't."

Noodle felt a stab of sadness. Being touched did make her feel uncomfortable, but something in her also wanted 2D to touch her. "No, it’s okay. You can put your arm on me."

2D scrunched up his forehead and rubbed his head with his hand. "Noods, 'm confused."

Noodle frowned and moved his hand so that it was around her shoulder. "You touching me does bother me but I don't want it to." 

2D gave her shoulder a squeeze with his hand and they started moving forward again. "Kay. So what should I do ta ‘elp yew?"

Noodle bit her lip. She hadn't really thought about that. "Well, you could start by not hitting me..."

2D grimace. "'M terribly sorry 'bout that...."

Noodle gave him a small smile. "Other than that... Let me know. Don't touch me unless I'm expecting it. It helps if I have a second to prepare myself."

2D nodded. "I fink I can do that."

Walking with longer and stronger strides than the day before they made it to the elevator and to the beach level. Once in the living room 2D promptly sat down with a big sigh and stared at the blank TV while taking a drag on his cigarette. “Blimey, I’m outta shape…”

“Starving yourself and overdosing will do that to a person. Plus the cigarettes aren't helping.” Noodle said while going to the kitchen to drop off the dishes.

The elevator doors busted open and Murdoc strode forward in just his leopard posing pouch, stinking of alcohol and with 2 girls behind him, hair all mussed up. 

“Morning wankers!” Murdoc announced while spanking both girl’s asses causing them to squeal. “2D, have you finally stopped moaning?! Are you ready to earn your keep? Hope you haven’t ruined your pretty voice with all that needless screaming you did, nhah? I am into some kinky shit if you know what I’m saying, Nuhuhuh, but guys screaming in the background while I’m with these birds is one of the few things I'm not into…. Mhuh, uh.” Murdoc started licking one of the girls with his two foot long tongue.

The other girl came from behind Murdoc and leaned over to 2D. Biting his earlobe she whispered “I like screamers.” 

2D smiled nervously at her and then looked towards Noodle. “Maybe I should get a fresh of breath air.” He said heaving himself off the couch. Noodle came towards him and grabbed his are to lead him out. 

“Get your facking act together Faceache before we find another pretty boy to take your place! We can also get a better guitarist while we are at it!” Murdoc shouted out after them and threw an empty beer bottle in their direction which hit 2D in the back of the head.

“OW!” 2D winched at the impact and tripped, only avoided falling down because of Noodle’s strong grip on him.

"What is that about Muds!?" Noodle said turning around angrily while still holding up 2D.

"He OD'd weeks ago! He should be fine now!" Murdoc growled at her alternately squeezing and spreading the ass cheeks of the girl in front of him.

"You're drunk! Get your agrophile, pickled, ass back in your room!" Noodle shouted angrily and then pulled 2D, who was grimacing and rubbing the back of his head, outside. Once they were on the garbage beach Noodle led 2D to an old water jug to sit on. 

“Are you okay Toochi?” Noodle started inspecting his head, luckily the bottle didn’t break so there was no cut. 

“I’m facking fine. Getting hit in the ‘ead is the only fing ‘m good at!” His He spat the words out angrily and gritted his teeth as a headache started to swell in his brain.

Noodle rubbed his arm. “Awww, Toochi, don’t let him get to you. He’s drunk...”

2D shook his head and looked at Noodle angrily. “‘M holding everyfing up, aren’t I? ‘M not able ta work, I can’t stop shaking, my ‘ead ‘urts all time and I keep being mean ta yew!” He shook his head and grabbed the bridge of his nose and squeezed. “I just can’t do anyfing and all I can fink about is wanting me pills.” 2D started hitting himself in the head with his hands, tears leaking out of his black eyes.

Noodle grabbed his hands. “Stop it. STOP IT! Stop hitting your head, that isn't going to help any of this! The only reason you're having this bad of a breakdown now is you never let yourself have a breakdown before. You’ve been on those pills for most of your life. It’s going to take time to get off them. On top of that you were kidnapped and abused for years. You need to take time off and get better or you're going to get dead, and if you die….” She was squeezing his hands in hers and suddenly she flung her arms around 2D, hugging him tightly, her head up against his chest while she cried thinking about how terrible life would be if he wasn’t in it.

2D bit his lip and held his arms out wanting to hug her back but wanting even more not to scare her off from hugging him. “Ummm, can I hug yew?”

Her voice was muffled by his shirt. “Yes… Just a little…”

2D gently put his arms around her little body, feeling it shake with sobs. Being in a fragile emotional state made her feel more vulnerable with him touching her. It made her feel uncomfortable and she couldn’t stop thinking about his arms around her, but she weathered the feelings as best she could. After a minute or two, that went by far too quickly for him, she pulled away.

2D frowned at her pulling away. “There, there li'l luv. It's okay, I’m not gonna go anywhere. Not with yew watching me like a hawk.” 

Noodle sighed and shook her head before a deluge of words came spilling out. “No Toochi, you don’t understand how much I  _ need  _ you to help pull yourself out of this! I need you to stay away from the pills! I need you to stay on track! I need you to care about yourself! I can’t worry about you all the time, and I do. I worry you're looking for your pills, I worry you're falling down into your own dark hole again and I don’t know if I can fish you out! I know it’s hard, and its going to be hard every fucking day for you but I  _ know _ you can do this!”

Noodle wiped her eyes with the back of her hand before continuing. “A-a-and I n-n-need you! I need you with me! Ever since I was little we just got each other! We were best friends without even talking! We were both put into this weird fucked up family but we are gonna make it together and you're gonna start pulling your weight so I’m not pulling for both of us alone.”

2D’s big eyes looked at Noodle, and he  _ saw  _ her. Saw who she was as a person and his dark voids eyes showed more care and compassion towards her than anyone else in the world ever had. “I didn’t know yew cared ‘bout me that much Noods… I mean yeah I care ‘bout yew, but I didn’t fink I was that important to in yewr life...”

Noodle let out a gasping cry as she looked up at 2D’s kind face. “Well Muds is always saying you're not that sharp.”

2D gave Noodle a crooked, gap toothed grin, tongue falling out and opened his arms wide before shyly asking. “Do yew fink I can get another hug?”

Noodle took a deep breath and gave a little nod before wrapping her arms around his skinny chest. As he put his arms around her she took a deep breath, her nose filling with his sweet scent and she focused on the warmth of his body and the gentle way he held her.  _ This isn’t too bad. Toochi would never hurt me. _

2D whispered into Noodle’s hair “I’ll try ta pull my own weight li’l luv. I’ll try.”

Noodle took another deep breath and let her body relax, just a little bit, into 2D. It felt nice to give in to his warmth, just for a minute. Then she pulled away and gave him a small smile. Touching 2D was getting easier.

****

Over the following weeks 2D was occasionally able to feel a glimmer of happiness. It would come on suddenly and leave just as quickly, but it was usually while chatting with Noodle on their walks. He would catch himself wanting to smile seeing her chatter away to herself. Looking at her, he would just feel such a swell of appreciation for everything she did for him, including going on these walks with him even though he knew was being a major sad sack. He did want to pay it back. He wanted her to know how much she meant to him. To do things as nice for her as she had for him. But regardless of all those feelings he couldn't stop himself from having bad days. 

He didn’t fall back into his deep anger but he did wallow in his depression. Everyday Noodle would come and beg him to go for a walk and he would moan and say he didn't want to. Sometimes he won and stayed in bed all day, some days she won and he went for a little walk around the island with her. He would admit on the days he got out, that he did feel better for having left his room. Regardless, the next day, it was once again the same struggle for him to leave the comfort of his bed.

Noodle tried to rock out with him, but he didn't have it in him to sing, and instead would sadly shake his head and slump back into his pillows. Once Noodle handed him his melodica and he tooted on it angrily and threw on the floor. 

"I don't want it Noods. 'm no good at music without my pills, I don't want ta do anyfing."

Noodle thought immediately, that his statement was bullshit, but part of her wondered if he was right. He did, near constantly complain about having headaches, maybe he couldn't function without his pills. Maybe he was just that damaged from all the head trauma he had in his life and needed his pills like he kept saying. Maybe she was doing the wrong thing and hurting him. 

Noodle knew she couldn't talk to 2D reasonably about this now, and she felt in her gut that she needed to keep working on getting him clean, but she didn't  _ know _ . She wasn't a doctor, and even then, maybe this wasn't a quantity but a quality of life issue. She knew he would die on the pills, but maybe he was just a sack of shit who was constantly in pain without them. 

***

A month had passed since the overdose and progress was slowly made. 2D still wanted his pills but he didn’t beg for them. He knew he had to be responsible for his own sobriety, and he was trying. As time went on 2D did start having more days out of bed than in and eventually he was coming out every day, even if he didn’t want to.

Noodle had taken to spiking 2D’s food with marijuana. He had a pretty high tolerance to the stuff so he didn’t high easily but it did seem to help improve his mood and his appetite. With free time on her hands on the isolated island Noodle had taken up baking which she found to be an unexpected, but fun hobby of hers.

She was in the process making marijuana brownies when she heard the stairwell door open up behind her. 2D was looking at her shyly hand scratching the back of his neck. His form had started to smooth out making him look less bony. "Ello Noods." 

"Toochi! Hi!" He hadn't come out of his room on his own volition since he overdosed! She wanted to point this out, but felt it might make him feel awkward.

"Watchya doin luv?" 2D said coming to sit on a high kitchen stool, twiddling his fingers in front of him.

Noodle smiled and nodded her head at the bowl. "Making marijuana muffins."

"Yew bake!? I didn't know that yew could do that..." 2D looked at her in appreciative shock. 

Noodle giggled at him. "How did you think you were getting all those baked goods?"

"I fought they just appeared..." He spun himself around on the kitchen stool.

Noodle nodded and adopted a mock-serious tone while she put the batter into a pan. "Yes fresh baked goods do randomly drop out of the ether, it's probably part of the deal that Murdoc made with the devil."

"Devil muffins that taste like weed. Uhummmm..." 2D said, grinning at her as she giggled. "That's my spiderman shirt yew're wearing... In fact I fink yew've been wearing my shirts since yew got ‘ere."

Noodle nodded and handed 2D a batter covered spatula which he shoved in his mouth excitedly. "These are your pants too. I didn't have any of my own clothes when I came here."

"Why aven't you asked Muds to ship in some?"

"Get him to pick clothes for me!? No, way!" Noodle finished putting muffins in the oven and got the timer on.

"Yew done?"

"Yeah..." Noodle said and immediately 2D jumped up from the stool and held out his hand which Noodle took. 2D grinned at her and started pulling her after him as he went downstairs to his room. Once in the dark basement of the island 2D sat on his bed next to a synth and patted the spot on the bed next to him for Noodle to sit on. Noodle sat down next to him as he started playing a tune she had never heard before and quietly humming his face completely focused and in the zone. Noodle smiled at him, so happy for him for actually doing something instead of just wanting to sleep. 

His humming slowly turned into singing.

The mountains are waiting

The full moon has come

I got lost on the highway

But don't ask me where I've been

Or what I've done

Oh lord send me transmissions

Forgive me for what I've become

The sun has come to save me

Put a little love into my

Lonely soul

The sun has come to save me

Put a little love into my

Lonely soul

Well don't you know why

You need her loving you?

Float inside...

When he finished he let the music fade off slowly. As his fingers slowly drifted off the keys he looked at Noodle shyly. "Did yew like it?"

"That… That was so beautiful, Toochi… So beautiful…. “ After listening to his beautiful yearning voice she found her eyes were watery. She flung her arms around 2D’s neck and squeezed. “That was so beautiful.” She whispered into his hair. Every part of her body that touched him sent an electric shock through her. She wondered if he felt it too. She let go of him and looked at his face which was giving her his biggest gap toothed smile.

"Yew really liked it?"

"Yes! Let me go get my guitar, I need to play this with you!" Noodle said getting up and rushing out of the room.

A few minutes later Noodle returned with her guitar and several fresh brownies. 2D was still on his bed playing his synth as Noodle walked over to him. His eyes lit up when he saw the brownie and he opened his mouth eagerly. Noodle gently put the brownie his maw and he bit down carefully, big eyes staring at her as he slowly chewed. 

"Fanks, li'l luv." He whispered huskily.

***

Murdoc had drunken a bottle of rum and was having a bout of paranoia about his paperwork, mostly pertaining to illegal gun sales, and did he have paperwork. He was grabbing boxes and boxes of papers and throwing them off the grass platform onto the beach below. "Look out beeellloooowww!" 

Cortez flew and grabbed an errant page in his beak before dropping it over the ledge exclaiming in Murdoc's voice, "Burn the evidence!"

On the beach below, Noodle had dragged 2D out for his daily constitutional. 2D wasn't really in the mood for all this outdoor stuff today, he was having a bad day, his head hurt, it was too sunny out here. He would rather be sleeping in his room. As they got to the shoreline 2D sat down with a huff on the neon pink sand and lit up a cigaret. All the garbage that made up this shite hole was setting off his environmental anxiety and that wasn't helping his mood.

Noodle ran into the shallows wearing a tight fitting tank top and booty shorts. She looked out into the ocean inhaling the salt air she called back to 2D. "Toochi! Come join me out here!"

2D was enjoying being in a bad mood and just wanted to sulk. "'M 'appy over 'ere luv." Anyway, didn't she care about the whale!?

Noodle sighed and shrugged at him then, then jumped into the ocean and for one perfect second 2D saw her shapely bottom and slender legs make a heart shape. Within seconds Noodles head popped up out of the water, dark purple hair plastered onto her grinning face. She stood up her body encased in the wet, skin tight clothes. 2D took in all of her peaks, her pointed nipples sticking through her top, and valleys, those long slender gams. Then she called out to him. "Toochi, come be with me!"

2D gulped, she was the most beautiful sight he had ever seen, like an angel, and she was smiling at him. Looking at her was like looking at a bright light that made all the garbage, darkness and pain fade into the background, and all she wanted his company and he didn't want to refuse her. "But wot about the whale?"

Noodle laughed and it was the most beautiful music 2D had ever heard. "He wouldn't dare come here with Russ around. Come on!" She held out her hand towards him.

2D sighed, smushed out his cigaret and started walking towards Noodle. 2D's feet touched the chilly water and his hand grabbed Noodle’s and she squeezed his hand warmly. He felt there hands connecting was like a power line that was warming up his soul.

2D only had eyes for Noodle as she led him out to waist deep water and then turned around and grasped his other paw as they gently jumped with the waves. "How are you doing Toochi?"

2D shrugged but gave her a small chaste smile. "'M alright luv." As a wave picked him up and put him back down on the ocean floor again he stepped on something that nipped hard at his foot. “AAAAHHHH!!! SUMFING GOT ME!” Already on edge about being in whale infested waters he jumped onto Noodle in his fright, clutching onto her small body for dear life.

Noodle found herself surprised at how okay she felt with him grasping onto her. It made her feel warm and fuzzy inside, plus he was so frightened and that made her laugh. “Oh Toochi! You big scaredy cat! Whatever it is, it isn’t going to kill you!”

“Yew don’t know that luv! There are all sorts a dangerous fings out ‘ere! Not just the whale! Could be a robot shark, like from Jaws!” 2D had wrapped his gangly limbs around her and whipping his head around trying to spot danger. 

Noodle laughed again and wrapped her arms around 2D’s waist and slowly started to walk through the water with him. “Oh hush you big baby.” 

“But--- It's--- Dangerous out--- I like yew carrying me…” 2D muttered as he found himself relaxing into her arms as she moved him through the water. He let his body sink down into the water until his head was on her shoulder.

“I bet you do. Someone your size doesn’t get picked up much, do they?” Noodle had a feeling of power growing in her chest. Her trauma wasn’t ruining this moment and that made her feel in control.

“No.” 2D muttered into her hair. She liked carrying 2D but he needed to learn to stand on his own two feet. Suddenly she went underwater taking 2D with her.

“WAhaaa!” 2D exclaimed and let go of her as he floated in the water next to her.

Noodle grinned at 2D and then dove into the water doing a beautiful butterfly stroke, jumping in and out of the ocean in a spray of water, away from him.

Fifteen feet away from him she stopped and looked back at him grinning. 2D bit his lip with worry. “Don’t go so far out! The whale---”

Noodle sighed in exasperation. “If you want me to come back you’ll have to catch me!”

2D pouted. “I can’t keep up wif yew!”

Noodle shrugged. “Guess I’ll just get eaten by the whale then.” She dove back into the water and stayed in place under the waves.

2D shuffled uncomfortably on his feet for a second and whined to himself before jumping into the water and swimming after her as fast and hard as he could.

He did not get far before his muscles were burning and he broke the water panting and grasping his ribs, his cigaret filled lungs ached. Noodle, who hadn’t moved from her position, was just out of 2D’s arm's reach. 2D moved a step or two towards her and reached out a hand to grab her. She backed up just out of his grasp giggling. 

2D frowned. “Luv, get back ‘ere!”

Noodle shook her head grinning deviously. “No, this is giving you a workout!”

2D huffed as he took another few steps forward as she backed up then he jumped to try and catch her, which she narrowly avoided. Finally taking pity on her out of shape friend, Noodle stayed in place as he strode forward in the water and put a heavy hand on her shoulder gasping for breath. “Huff--- Got-- Huuufff--- Yew---Hufff---”

“Awww, Toochi, you're all worn out.”

“Because of yew!” 2D said looking at her reproachfully, but not unkindly.

“Haha, yeah, but it’s good for you. Let’s get you back on the beach before you faint.” She grabbed his hand and helped pull him to the beach.

Once on the beach, 2D sat down in the shade of the plastic building and Noodle grabbed a towel to dry herself off with before laying it on the ground. “Thanks for coming in the water with me. I had fun with you.” Noodle looked over smiling at 2D and upon seeing him her face fell. “Oh no…”

2D looked at her, suddenly worried. “Wot!? Did I get attacked by an octopus!?”

Noodle shook her head. “No, you just got sunburned… Pasty Brit…”

“Oh…” 2D frowned and touched his face gently with his finger tips.

Noodle smiled at him and put a hand on his shoulder. “I’ll go get some aloe. I want to stay out here a bit longer. It’s going to be dark soon. Why don’t we burn Murdoc’s paperwork and have a garbage fire?”

2D gave her a smile. “That sounds smelly. Let’s do it!”

Noodle grinned as she walked off to the building’s entrance. 2D found himself looking over her beautiful little form, eyes lingering on her shapely bottom, before he shook his head. He shouldn’t see her that way… He had looked after her ever since she was little, like she was his sister.  _ But she wasn’t his sister and she was so kind, sweet and beautiful… _

_ But she should be wif someone ‘er own age and wif out all my problems! She’s special and she deserves tha best! _

To clear his head 2D looked around at the garbage beach. The spray paint job only covered the top layer of garbage. 2D experimentally lifted a microwave container and saw the end of a thin steel rod and a collection of water bottles. He pulled the rod with his long fingers, finding it to be about a foot long, and smiled to himself. His fine motor skills were coming back and he wasn’t shaking anymore. Infact, while he was still very out of shape and got tired easily, he found that he hadn’t been bashing into random objects all the time like when he was on the pills. He had more spacial awareness. Didn’t make up for not having pills but at least it was a consolation prize.

He grabbed an unpainted water bottle and stuck it, hole end down, on the rod and twirled the bottle around.  _ Noodle wished this place ‘ad flowers… _ 2D grinned to himself and quickly searched the debris around him until he found a very sharp piece of glass. He took the bottle of the rod and mindfully cut a hole in the bottom of the bottle then sliced the sides ¾ of the way down until he could fold them out like petals and put the bottle back on the rod. He looked at the plastic flower on the rod. It looked stupid. He pouted and threw it away from him disappointedly. Course he couldn’t make a cool looking thing.  _ But maybe I should again! _

He searched the beach and repeated the process several more times. Each time thinking he made a stupid looking flower. By the time Noodle came back to the beach, struggling to carry a thick blanket, a jug of water, a bottle of aloe gel, skewers, marshmallows, chocolate and graham crackers, she saw 7 garbage flowers strewn around a glum looking 2D. 

“Toochi, were you trying to make flowers?” Noodle asked as she put down her supplies and picked one of the garbage flowers up.

“Yew said yew wished this place ‘ad flowers… I wanted ta make some but they’re stupid.”

“Awww! Toochi! You made me flowers!!!” She ran over and hugged his head tightly, still holding the flower in her hand. 

“Aahhhh!!!” 2D cringed as she touched his sunburnt face and she quickly let go. 

“Oh, I’m sorry! I forgot about the sunburn.” She looked at him and giggled. “Can’t believe I did forget, you’re as red as a tomato!”

2D smiled at her, embarrement flushing his face further as Noodle chortled. She put her flower down in the sand and grabbed the aloe gel which she went over to 2D with. As she gently touched his face with the gel and he hissed in pain but then got into her rubbing the cool gel onto his sunburnt skin. She was so methodical and tender as she touched his face and he found himself staring at her. He felt warm and fuzzy in his guttiwuts as he looked at her, fully in the zone, tongue peaking out the side of her face as her fingers danced over his sore flesh.

Noodle was done with his face, far too quickly for 2D’s liking, but then she put more on her hands and started gently rubbing her hands across his shoulders and over his neck. He couldn’t stop the little moan of pleasure that left his lips as she continued her administrations down his arms.

Once she was done she grinned at him. “You're going to have some bad times with that tomorrow Toochi, but the gel should help, at least for now.” She motioned to the jug of water. “Keep hydrated, you're going to feel parched after all that.”

2D shyly looked up at her and gave a small grin. “Fanks.” he took a long chug from the water jug.

Noodle nodded and grabbed some old driftwood they kept on the island for fires and lay it on top of their paper filled fire pit before lighting it up with her lighter. 2D patted his pants pocket and found a packet of cigarettes that was, sadly, waterlogged from his swim in the ocean. “Awww, Noods, yew didn’t ‘appen ta get any cigarettes while yew were up there did ya?”

Noodle chuckled. “Yeah, I knew you would want some.” She tossed him a pack from her pocket, which he caught smiling. He used to be really bad at catching things on his pills. Most times when Noodle threw him something it would just hit him and bounce off to the floor. 

“Awwww, yew know me too well! Fanks, li’l luv!” 2D tried flipping several cigarettes into the air and trying to catch them with his mouth, before giving up and finally stuck a cigarette into the fire Noodle was making and started smoking it.

The sun was setting and it was making a beautiful show, painting the sky with beautiful pinks and oranges. 2D shuffled so he could face the fire and the sunset. A sudden chill gripped him from all of the sunburn and he started to shiver. Noodle snuck up behind him and put the thick blanket around his body. 2D looked up at her and shook his head in amazement. “Yew’re so kind ta me. Yew’re always right there wif what I need.”

Noodle chuckled. “You don’t think that when I’m trying to get you out of bed in the morning.”

2D looked down in shame. “Naw, I do. I  _ need _ ta get out of bed. I just don’t want ta. Yew really are the sweetest person in the world and I wish I could repay yew for everyfing yew’ve done for me.”

Noodle put her hand on his blanket covered shoulder. “You can Toochi. Stay clean and be my friend. That's all I want.”

2D grinned at her. “I fink I can do that.”

“Good, now open up the blanket. It’s getting chilly out here and I want to share your warmth while I make smores.”

2D chuckled as he lifted up one side of the blanket for Noodle to get in. She got to work putting marshmallows on skewers and toasting them while 2D drank in the sight of her. Eventually she held up a gooshy smore to his face which he bit into, grinning ear to ear. It left a huge, white and dark brown mess on his smiling mug which made Noodle laugh. He took the left over half of the smore from her hand and held it up to her face. 

She shook her head at him laughing. “What are you doing Toochi?”

“Feeding yew, li’l luv. What you fink I was doing?” He held it for her as she cautiously bit it, green eyes never leaving his black ones.

After several more smores, most of which ended up in 2D, Noodle looked up at the full moon in the sky. “Toochi! There is a rainbow ring around the moon!”

“Aww really!? That's wicked!” 2D said looking up at the moon appreciatively.

Noodle looked at him, seeing the silver moon reflected in his dark orbs. “Don’t you see the--- Oh, your eyes. I’m sorry. I forgot you can’t see rainbows...”

2D beamed at her. “It’s okay. A rainbow wouldn’t be prettier than what I’m looking at.” 2D suddenly realized he had just blatantly flirted with her and quickly looked away feeling a confusing maelstrom of emotions, including shame and anxiety that he felt that way about her, worry that she didn’t feel the same and embarrassment.

Noodle’s face flushed with the complement and then she snuggled into 2D’s side, her head on his shoulder as she whispered to him. “Today was a good day.”

2D felt the warmth in his chest again. She didn’t pull away from him! “Yeah, today was a good day.” He put his head on top of hers. He was with Noodle and he adored every moment she was near him. Maybe everything would be okay, so long as they could be there for each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will post more chapters here that do not go into that and the next chapter here is going to be pretty heavy. Thanks again for everyone who has read, left kudos and comments. You guys seriously rock!!!


	13. Scrambler

Except whales. Whales were bad.

That night the pirates decided to team up with Massive Dick and attack Plastic Beach together.

Five pirate airplanes came at the island guns blasting holes through the building and waking up Noodle, who was sleeping in the living room closet, with a start. She knew the sound of gun fire and her body tensed as she tried to assess the danger and where it was coming from. Before she could fully get her bearings the whole island shook. 

_RRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!_

The sound of metal being torn apart filled the air and Noodle grimaced in pain at the sound as she jumped out of her bed and opened the closet door looking around the living room in panic as Murdoc, in only his posing pouch, stumbled down the stairs while also trying to put his boots on. Cortez following close behind accidentally flew into Murdoc and bouncing back, squawking indignantly.

“Whats happening!?” Noodle screamed while grabbed the side of the closet doorway for support as the room started to tip, causing books, instruments, food and garbage to slide across the floor.

“Hell if I know, but we’re getting out of here! Let’s get to my submarine!” Murdoc yelled as he tried to run to the main entrance, slipping from the tilted ground. 

_Pew! Pew! Pew!_

Another round of bullets ripped through the building causing both Noodle and Murdoc to cower close to the floor. 

“We need to get 2D!” Noodle exclaimed and started for the stairwell leading down to 2D’s room.

“Facken Faceache is lolly gagging downstairs!” Murdoc growled as he scampered after Noodle. 

The building was starting to tip more drastically and as Noodle swung open the stairwell door she saw half the stairwell filled with water. “No…” She muttered to herself before diving in the cold ocean waters. She swam down the dark stairwell and, by the light of the wall lamps, saw half of 2D’s room was ripped away from the rest of the building. Everything was floating in the dark depths. Her heart started hammering in her chest as she desperately swam around the room trying to find 2D. Eventually her burning lungs forced her to go up the stairwell again. 

The water was significantly higher up the stairwell as she broke the surface and a green claw grabbed her arm and pulled her up all of the way. “Where is Faceache!?”

“I don’t know! I looked everywhere down there and I couldn’t find him!!!” Noodle’s heart was hammering around in her chest.

“Fack… FACK!!!!” Murdoc looked angry. Really angry, and perhaps a bit scared.

Noodle tried to pull her arm away from Murdoc but he held firm onto her. “Let me go! I have to go back down there and see if I can find him!” 

_Pew! Pew! Pew! Pew! CRACK!_

Bullets ripped through the building again and a large chunk of wall came down showering them with debris. Murdoc quickly leaned over Noodle trying to cover her from the majority of the damage but not letting go of her arm. “No! You already looked, if he was down there you would have seen him! We have to get out of here!”

Noodle pulled away trying to unlock his fingers from around her arm but his grip was stronger than she thought. “Let go of me! I can’t leave him!”

“He’s already gone!” Murdoc growled and pulled her along after him towards the door as fast as he could. He shoved the door open and pushed her through as a line of bullets shot down in front of them. Russel was in the water, trying to shield his eyes and grab at the planes as they passed him. He was bleeding from multiple places on his back from where the bullets had torn through him. 

Murdoc dragged Noodle as quickly as he could along the beach, swinging his head from side to side trying to see where the pirates would attack next. 

_WHAM!_

“BLOODY FACKEN HELL!!!” Murdoc howled.

Noodle was tired of trying to get Murdoc to release her arm and instead kicked him hard in the crotch. He released her as he fell to the ground up plastic cupping his privates. Noodle got up with a start calling back to the older man. “I’m sorry Murdoc, but I have to find Toochi!”

Murdoc groaned and staggered to his feet. “Get back here Noods! 2D is gone! I can’t lose you too!”

Noodle shook her head as she ran. “I can’t leave him!” Bullets rained down between her and Murdoc causing Murdoc to stagger backwards away from Noodle as she dove into the water. He could never keep up with her and if she was hell bent on finding 2D he couldn’t stop her. “Love makes you stupid! Gotta look out for number one!” Murdoc muttered to himself as he turned and ran to his submarine. 

Noodle could see the gaping hole in the basement of the island and she swam around, looking through the clear blue water, desperately trying to spot her Toochi. 

When she broke for air she saw Russel above her shielding her with his body. “Baby Girl! I was so worried about you! Come on I can get us out of here!”

Noodle treading water, shook her head. “No! I have to find Too---” 

_PEW! PEW! PEW!_

A bloody line appeared running down Russel’s arm as he tried to shield Noodle but one bullet had escaped him and lodged itself into Noodle’s arm. 

“GWAH!” Noodle screeched and flailed in the water as Russel gently wrapped his arm around her. “We are getting out of here Baby Girl!”

As the world went fuzzy for Noodle she remembered being put into Russel’s giant maw as he started to swim away from Plastic Beach.

***

When Noodle woke she first noticed the searing pain in her biceps. “Ugggh…” She moaned as she opened her crusty eyes. Blinking away the blinding light of the sun she saw she was on a beach and an elderly Asian woman looking down at her. Her skin was a dark bronze from years in the sun and she had dark wrinkles around her eyes but her body was fit and youthful. She greeted Noodle in Japanese “Oh, so you're still alive.” Noodle blurily looked around, yeah the nature around her looked like Japan. How did she get here?

“What happened? AAAAHHH!” She had tried to struggle in a sitting position only to get shooting pains through her left arm. Looking down she took in the damage. Her arm had a hole in it from the bullet that was still lodged in her flesh. 

“I was going to ask you that very question.” The elderly woman said leaning down and putting Noodle’s damaged arm on her chest with care, and picked her up with surprising ease. Noodle’s whole body felt sunburned but nothing hurt as much as her left arm. The older woman continued speaking in a calm voice. “I saw a very big monster push you to the shore, I don’t know what it was, but it was getting hunted by a whaling ship. The whaling ship seemed to win and was carrying the beast off, when you washed up here.”

“Oh no! Russel….” Noodle tried to struggle to get down from the woman's arms but felt so weak and wounded she didn’t manage to wiggle free.

“Stay still. My name is Chiyoko, I am a pearl diver and I’m taking you back to my shack for the time being. You need some food and rest. Your friend is probably being butchered for his blubber.”

Noodle’s eyes went wide in horror. “That's not comforting! Oh, damn, what about Toochi!? I have to go back...”

Chiyoko had brought her to a small, wooden, one room shack on the beach and put her down on a nice bed. “Shhhhh, I wouldn’t think about any of your friends for now, what is your name?”

Noodle tried to struggle and get up but she felt so sick and tired she just let the bed embrace her. In a small voice she said her name. “Noodle.”

“A strange name.” Chiyoko said, going over to a pot on her small wood stove and dishing out a bowl of stew as well as taking a few pills from a cabinet. 

Noodle was used to people being surprised by her name. “It’s all I can remember ever being called, it's the first word I ever remember saying…”

“Then it suits you.” Chiyoko said as she handed Noodle some seafood stew as well as the pills.

Noodle felt tears dripping down her face as she accepted the food and pills with a nod. “Thank you, Chiyoko-san.”

“The pills should help with the pain and put you to sleep for awhile. Then I will take out the bullet and stitch you up.” 

Noodle bit her lip and started sobbing as she nodded. “Thanks.”

Chiyoko nodded back, all business. “Take your time, recover, then pay your debts. The ocean brought you to me for a reason.”

Noodle ate her stew and tried to process everything that happened… 2D…. Her Toochi, he had to have been washed out to sea. He had to be… Dead… He couldn’t have survived that… No! Not him! He was her zen partner! Best friend… Soulmate? No, that was stupid… They never even had a romantic relationship…. But she wanted to…. damn, damn, DAMN! 

She had thought there would be time for a relationship with him later and now he was gone!

Not to mention Russel! He was probably being butchered by the whaling ship! And hell knows what happened to Murdoc! What happened to her messed up family!? 

Noodle sobbed as she finished her food and relaxed into the bed. Chiyoko took her bowl from her. “Cry out your past, Noodle-san.”

Noodle’s tired, sunburnt body urged her to sleep while her mind kept spinning with the loss of everyone important in her life. Eventually the pills won and sleep overcame her. Days passed and she cried. Weeks passed and she continued to cry and regained her strength. Eventually acceptance came. Her old life was gone. Her band was gone. She needed to move forward. Maybe that could be freeing, to do something other than music. Maybe, with time, she could forget.

***

Once Noodle’s arm had healed she wanted to repay her debt to Chiyoko. The old diver taught Noodle the 3000 year old tradition of pearl diving, boating out into the ocean and then diving into the cool water attached by a string to a floating bucket. Noodle worked hard and soon took on the proud tradition of being a female pearl diver, an ama. 

Noodle loved diving into the ocean, which she did without any equipment, holding her breath for 40 seconds to a minute at a time. She would spend all morning diving in the waves and her afternoons at market selling her catch of shellfish and the occasional pearl. Feeling her body working it’s hardest to get under the waves and find treasure was exhilarating. The natural beauty she saw everyday filled her with joy and will to live. 

Chiyoko also filled a space in her life that Noodle didn’t know she was missing. Being brought up by three men left out seeing a strong female in her life. Not that she didn’t develop into a strong woman all on her own, but seeing this elderly woman, get up everyday and dive into the ocean filled Noodle with admiration for her own sex.

***

It had been several years since Noodle had washed up on the shore and life was moving along at it’s slower pace. Noodle focused on taking one day at a time, trying to just move on and forget about her past, while not really planning for her future. 

One day, after a particularly juicy dive, Chiyoko and Noodle stopped at the fishmonger’s market on the mainland. They were busy laying out their catch on an old, splintery wooden display table in the afternoon sun as they chatted.

“Hello Noodle-san!” A deep voice broke through their conversation. It was Tatsuo, a fish vendor she saw every day at the market. He was handsome with his muscular, lean, tan body and cleft chin. 

Noodle gave him a polite smile. “Hello Tatsuo-san! Hope you had a good catch today!”

“I always get a good catch!” He boasted showing off a nice, full toothed smile and winked at her. She felt warm from the attention but quickly forced herself to look away and turn her back on him to finish putting up her catch for the day. Tatsuo walked away to go to his own stand.

Chiyoko shook her head at Noodle. “If I had such a handsome man flirting with me, I would not be turning my back on him.” 

“I don’t want him to get any ideas, I’m just getting my life together, don't want to ruin it or make it awkward getting into a relationship.”

Chiyoko sighed. “Have you not lamented about your lost friends? You’re young, if you wait too long to have fun you’ll get old. So will the men…”

Noodle chuckled. “Chiyoko-san! I just don’t know, I mean… I’ve never really been in a relationship before...”

Chiyoko looked incredibly surprised at this. “All the more reason to take advantage of such a nice man! He would be kind to you! I’m sure of it! Experience all of the experiences before it is too late. Life can throw something at you at any time and you will regret not taking advantage of the opportunities you have!”

Noodle bit her lip. What Chiyoko said was painfully true with her and Toochi. She missed him so much and thought about him every day, but she was so far from her old band life. Pearl diving and living a simple life was what she had now. Maybe she should try having a relationship, or atleast sex. Sure looking at Tatsuo didn’t make her heart flip but she didn’t know him well. Maybe that was just something that came in time, but time was devious. She had waited too long with her Toochi, and now he was gone… 

The day went on slowly with people buying Noodle and Chiyoko catch, chatting and bargaining. As evening came, Chiyoko and Noodle started to pack up their stand and Tatsuo approached again, smiling. "Hey there little bird, done for the day?"

Chiyoko smiled and gave Noodle a furtive nod. “I’ve got the rest of this. Go have a night with someone from the same decade as you for once.” Chiyoko whispered. Noodle felt a small jolt at how apropo that was to her life, considering most nights she had spent hanging with her much older bandmates.

Noodle looked at Tatsuo and smiled back. “Yes Tatsuo-san, do you know of any good food stands around here?"

He grinned at her and led her to a street vendor. They grabbed some food, Tatsuo grabbing some grilled squid on a stick. For some reason she was hoping he would pick something sweet, like a crepe. That's what Toochi would have picked, her mind thought with a sad little stab at her heart. 

Tatsuo knocked her out of her thoughts. “So what did you have planned for the rest of the night, little bird?” 

Noodle swallowed a mouthful of squid and smiled. "Whatever you had planned, Tatsuo-san."

Tatsuo smirked at her reply. “Interesting profession you chose, being an ama, since most pearls are farmed, instead of dived for, nowadays.”

Noodle nodded. “I think learning traditional ways for doing something has value. The lifestyle of not being a cog in a machine is valuable all of its own.”

Tatsuo nodded sadly. “So long as others are willing to pay for you to have that lifestyle, yes, it is great.”

Noodle looked down at the stone path they were walking on. “I know it won’t last long, but it suits me for now.”

"So you have future plans?" Tatsuo casually picked up a paper flower off a street-peddler’s cart, leaving a coin in its place, and twirled the flower gingerly as they walked along the path.

"I don’t have any plans right now. I’m just taking things slowly as they come."

Tatsuo nodded and looked her over curiously. “You just kinda popped up here. What were you doing before this? I can hear your English accent, you must not have come all the way here to do a dying job.”

“I just kinda found myself here and am trying to make the best of it.” Noodle innately felt a need to preserve the dignity of Tatsuo’s image of her, and picturing herself washed up on a beach covered in seaweed wasn’t an appetising prospect. “Isn’t that what we are all doing?” She didn’t like him asking her questions about her. She didn’t want to get into it. 

“I suppose so. Fishing is my family business, so I just grew up into it. Never really had much ambition other than this, and I worry about the future, with bigger companies taking our territory. Ehhh. That's life isn’t it? Anyway, what English speaking place did you come from?” he asked, quickly putting the stem of the paper flower in Noodle’s hair just above her ear.

Noodle smiled at the gesture. _Toochi made me garbage flowers… Toochi was so cute and sweet like that._ “I lived in England since I was 8.”

Tatsuo smiled in surprise. “Was it a boarding school or a family?”

Noodle shook her head. “Uhhh no… It was just three men living together.”

“That's interesting! Was it a gay polyamours family that adopted you?”

“Uh, no it was just… British men are like that sometimes...” Noodle shrugged. She wouldn’t have been surprised if Murdoc had experimented with 2D. She hoped if they had it had been willingly for 2D, but didn’t count on it. “They were…. Musicians.”

“Ah yes, of course. So did you go to a good school there?”

_Uggg, would this guy just shut up about her past! The whole point of this was to stop thinking about that._

“I was homeschooled by the guys.” I learned how to swear, smoke, dance and rock. “Hey, do you live around here? I’ve never been to this area before!” Maybe this change of topic would help move things in the right direction. 

“Oh yeah, just over there” Tatsuo pointed at some spot down the road. “Want to come over?” He asked with a cheeky grin. 

Noodle smiled back and nodded.

Tatsuo had a small flat, but it was kept very clean, like no man's room Noodle had ever seen. Somehow this made her feel slightly uncomfortable, like everything had to be perfect and she wasn’t sure she was up to standard. She sat on the edge of his couch, as if afraid she would muss it up. 

“Would you like some tea?” Tatsuo asked from the kitchen.

“Oh yes, please!” Tatsuo made green tea for both of them. He handed her a cup and then sat next to her with his own, his leg touching hers. Her first instinct was to pull her leg away, but she resisted. That wouldn’t send the message that she wanted to have sex, now would it? Part of her brain screamed at her. _You don’t need to do this! You don’t really want to do this! Just get out of here!_

No, she wanted to do this. She was going to stay, she needed to make a new life and that wouldn’t happen without some discomfort. Tatsuo was nice and it wasn’t like there was anyone else she wanted to be with…. Well, there was one person, one person that her stomach did somersaults for. One person she wanted to touch and hug and kiss and be kissed by. No, that way led to madness. Toochi was gone, they had only ever been friends anyway, and he was dead now. Move on, move forward. She didn’t do music; she was a pearl diver. Tatsuo was here, maybe he would help her to stop thinking about Toochi.

She smiled at Tatsuo, put down her tea and leaned into him. He smelled of salty ocean and sun, it was nice but it wasn’t sweet… She gently kissed his lips, which he hungrily accepted, grabbing her shoulders and pushing his tongue into her mouth. 

This was her first kiss. David didn’t count. That was a rape. The kiss wasn’t sweet and gentle like she was hoping for, nor was it magical. It felt strange to her. She tried to put her tongue in his mouth but he seemed to be fighting it off with his own tongue so she resigned to having him explore her mouth. _Why are you doing this Noodle?_

Tatsuo moved his hands down to the bottom of her shirt and moved his body back to look at her. “Is this okay?” He asked nodding towards his hands on her shirt.

Suddenly what was happening crashed down on Noodle. He wanted to see her naked, and she hadn’t been seen or touched naked since David! And David had left scars… Feeling overwhelming shame and embarrassment Noodle looked away from Tatsuo. “Uhhh, no… I want to leave my shirt on...” 

Tatsuo frowned and then shrugged, quickly taking off his shirt. His body was just so lean and muscular, this didn’t make her feel more comfortable, nor did she feel any flip inside her guts as she looked at him. She was probably just too nervous. “Ummm, soooo, Tatsuo, I, uh, never, did…. This….. Before….”

“Huh? Oh, yeah, that's fine. I’ll go slow.” Tatsuo said slowly, moving his hands over her shirt and her small teacup sized breasts with their quickly stiffening nipples.

“Um, okay…. Thanks….” Noodle felt like she wanted to cry.

Tatsuo then leaned down and hungrily sucked hard on her nipple through the shirt. It hurt and before Noodle could stop herself she had slapped his head with her hand.

Tatsuo backed up in shock. “Oh, I’m sorry Noodle. I thought this was, okay?”

“Yeah, I’m sorry, yeah, this is…. Great… Keep going?” She tried to smile. She didn’t think it was very convincing, but Tatsuo didn’t seem to need much convincing.

He gently pushed Noodle over on the couch, grabbed the top of her pants and looked at her again. “Is this okay?”

“Sure!” _Let’s get this over with before I change my mind, quit asking me._

He then struggled with her belt until she decided to undo it herself. He took off his own pants and stood before her in just his underwear. He grinned at her as he slowly took his underwear off, being as slow and sensual as possible about it, not quite gyrating his hips, but certainly not hiding their protuberance either.

_Hurry up, I just want to get this over with. I want to feel what bliss feels like. I want to stop thinking about Toochi…._

She then realized she should probably take off her own undies, which she did and then Tatsuo handed her a condom. He took on the tone of a ground crew chief explaining the guns on a Mitsubishi. “Unwrap it, put it in your mouth, greasy side out with the rolled up rim on your teeth, and then use your mouth to put it on this soldier.” He said motioning to his erect member, the ghost of a wink crossing his face.

 _Damn, I didn’t even think about a condom! Well thank goodness he did…_ The awkwardness of the novelty of this situation was gently overwhelmed by her gratitude at his concise instruction. She fumbled with trying to open the condom and then put it in her mouth as directed. She subconsciously held her breath as she got her head next to his John Thomas, and then her mind went blank, her head paused precariously, face forward toward his left hip, eyes blank and glazed. Tatsuo decided to start pushing his penis into her mouth, which finally gave her the idea of what to do and she tried to roll it up his shaft with her mouth. It didn’t work so well and she tried to fix it with her hand, but Tatsuo, chuckled and fixed it himself.

Okay, this is it, can we _finally_ get onto it? Fuck me and maybe then Toochi will go away from my mind.

She leaned back on the couch again and Tatsuo fumbled around with his fingers on her clitoris. “Oh you are ready!” Tatsuo said. Noodle had no idea how he could tell, she didn't feel ready… In fact she felt very, very, very unready. Tatsuo slowly but firmly pushed his penis in to her person.

Noodle felt an overwhelming panic grip her body as she froze under Tatsuo. David was suddenly above her, icy blue eyes staring into her soul. She gritted her teeth and pushed him away. No she would not let him further complicate this. This was _NOT_ David. She forced her eyes to look at Tatsuo above her.

His muscular arms lifting were lifting him up and down over her. She looked at his strong arms and remembered Toochi’s arms. Toochi’s arms were soft and held her so tightly but gently when they hugged. Toochi was so cute right before she left. He was all chubby and soft. Not buff with huge pecs like the ones currently lifting and falling in front of her face.

“Is this okay? Do you want anything?” Tatsuo asked, slowing a bit, but not quite pausing.

“No, this is great!” She said, with as much enthusiasm as she could muster.

Now if we could JUST STOP TALKING, Noodle thought, as his words continually interrupted her very deliberate fantasizing.

Tatsuo smiled over her. He had a handsome smile, but it wasn’t the cute goofy one she wanted to be smiling at her. Toochie always really looked at me, cared about me and he always made me smile. Talking with him was so easy, so carefree. We just got each other with ease.

Noodle put her arms on Tatsuo’s waist.

She remembered having her hands on Toochie last night they hugged. He was so smooth and soft. So sweet with his butterscotch smell, she knew his mouth would have tasted sweet. She loved that last night when they cuddled together on the beach under the blanket with his head on hers. If she had only had sex with him... That gap tooth smile and those big, black, caring eyes looking at her. With his adorable accent he would say, “Noods, I luv yew.”

“Toochi!” Noodle screamed as her whole body shook apart with an orgasm, alternating bursts of pleasure and a sweet, yearning hurt she had barely ever imagined, wracking her body. Tatsuo grunted with his own climax and left Noodle’s body. Noodle found she was crying, sobbing even, and she couldn’t stop. Tears just kept streaming down her face in hot sticky rivers. _Toochi, oh, Toochi. Where did you go? Why am I here? What am I doing?_

Tatsuo gathered himself, quickly coming out of his usually-long torpor. “You okay Noodle? Do you want to talk about something?” 

Noodle tried to hold back the tears as her body shook with sadness. “No, I’m fine, just, it hurt a bit, that's all. I’m going to go to the bathroom for a sec.” She walked to the bathroom, feeling shamed the whole way. Once in the small room she closed the door and looked at herself in the mirror. 

That was a bad idea. The girl in the mirror was trash. Absolute trash. Why did she do this? It only made her miss Toochi _more_. Why didn't they get together when they could have? He was perfect, even with all his flaws, he was so damn perfect for her. 

She didn’t want to be at Tatsuo’s anymore, but to leave she would have to get out of the bathroom and she didn’t want to have to see Tatsuo again so she cried to her reflection until Tatsuo knocked on the door. 

“You okay in there?”

“I’m fine!” Noodle replied, trying to sound as unupset as she possibly could while wiping away her tears and splashing some cold water on her face. When she got out of the bathroom she was careful to make no eye contact with Tatsuo as she started to put on her clothes as quickly as she could. Unfortunately as her hands were shaking, she struggled to actually get the clothes on.

Tatsuo watched her trying to think of something to say. “So, ummm, that was nice….”

“Oh yes, it was great. Thanks!” Noodle looked up and smiled at him quickly and then looked down at her clothes again.

“That Toochi, must be pretty lucky….” Tatsuo commented as he leaned against the bathroom door frame, his attention focused on his flip lighter and the cigarette in his mouth.

Noodle made a tight grin at Tatsuo before looking down and letting out a little sob. “Thank you for your hospitality Tatsuo!” She had succeeded in getting her pants and shirt on, not bothering with her underwear and shoes. She bowed quickly at Tatsuo and left the room barefoot, holding her unworn clothing in her hands.

Once she was out of sight of Tatsuo’s building she sat in a little bush-covered alcove and cried until all her tears were out.

***

“How did the date go? You’re walking like you got fucked good.” Chiyoko snickered when Noodle came home.

Noodle sat down heavily on her cot with a sad sigh. “I should not have done that. I embarrassed myself and now I don’t want to ever have to see him again, but he is going to be at the market tomorrow, like always….”

Chiyoko gave a comforting smile. “Everyone embarrassed themselves the first time. Don’t take it too hard. I’m sure he thinks it went better than you did.”

Noodle shook her head looking blankly ahead. “I called out someone else's name….”

“Whheeeyoooo,” Chiyoko whistled to herself. “Well that  _ is _ pretty bad. Yeah, this is gonna be awkward.”

“Chiyoko-san, you always know just what to say.” Noodle sighed exasperatedly and sunk lower into her cot.

Chiyoko sighed and shook her head. “Why aren't you with this other person you obviously can’t get over?”

“He died…”

“It probably wouldn’t have worked out anyway. Him being the size of a whale and all.”

“What? No! That was Russel! I lost him too… Russel was like my Dad. I could always rely on him to help me out of a bad situation, be there for me when I needed him. Guess that was his last act… Saving me while he got hunted as a whale…”

“So who was this other guy that you had imaginary sex with today?” Chiyoko said, her excitement palpable as she tried to live vicariously through Noodle.

Noodle smiled sadly to herself. “Toochi, uh… 2D… we were in a band together…”

“Details! If you turned your nose up at Tatsuo then this 2D must have been really handsome!”

“Yeah, he definitely was handsome, but not like Tatsuo…”

“Tell me some defining feature of him!”

Noodle grinned to herself as she remembered her friend in her mind's eye. “Well he was missing his two front teeth, had blue hair and black eyes from a concussion as well as some brain damage, all these big gangly limbs, plus a crippling addiction to opiate medication.”

“I got to say, I’m not really seeing the appeal,” Chiyoko said looking quizzically at Noodle.

Noodle nodded to herself. “I mean, when I say it like that, it is pretty crazy I liked him so much… I don’t know, he was sweet, kind, funny. We both played music together like nobody's business. His voice was so beautiful, my favorite singing voice ever! We loved watching zombie films together and playing video games… We just got each other. It was like we were in sync, our moods, our temperament, or wants...”

“I’m sorry for your losses Noodle, but you should try to let those people become friendly ghosts in your past, instead of real beings in your mind. There are people around you now that you should work on building new relationships with.”

Noodle sighed, ofcourse, Chiyoko was right and she did love her new life, diving in the ocean, surrounded by warm, blue forests of shimmering light refracted through the gentle waves above, and enjoying a slower pace, but she missed her old one too. It felt like what 2D told once about feeling like there was the opiate addicted self that was just hiding inside of him waiting to come out. For her it was her old band self just hiding inside of her current one. The difference was, she didn’t understand why she was hiding that old self other than because she had lost her band. She could form a new one, couldn’t she?

She fell asleep holding a sack of rice that substituted for a pillow, pretending she was cuddling with her Toochi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did a sex scene! And it was sooooo sad :(  
> Don't worry! Things will get better!  
> Then they will get worse again...  
> But in the end it will be better! I promise!


	14. Water Flume

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fings get better.

Several weeks later Noodle was eating some miso soup for breakfast when Chiyoko handed her a letter, which had several questionable stains on it. 

Noodle took it, trying to avoid the stains and saw the return address was for England. She felt a cold sweat break out all over her body as she stared at the letter and ripped it open to see a piece of paper, equally stained, and with barely legible writing. Lucky Noodle had spent years reading lyrics in this terrible handwriting and could understand it.

Hello Noods,

Gone running off again? Always up to me to get the goddamn band back together innit? Took me a few years, aaaannndddd I had to pull in loads of favors, but you’ll help me pay them off won’t ya?

_ Anywayyyy _

I’M GETTING THE BAND BACK TOGETHER!!!!

And noooo, it's not because I desperately need the money…. Nooooo…. I just miss me old mates and the  _ art  _ of it all. So come on back and hang with your old Uncle Mudsy, yeah?

I don’t know where anyone else is but I’ll find them, you can be sure of that! Either up here or down below. 

Murdoc “ _ Alphonse _ ” Faust Niccals

“Good news?” Chiyoko asked as she stepped into her wetsuit.

Noodle bit her lip. Her mind was racing. She wasn’t sure she wanted to go back to England just to be with Murdoc, but then again she did miss making music. If he  _ could  _ find Russel and 2D then she definitely would want to go but they were probably dead. Of course if Murdoc could retrieve them… No, they wouldn’t be in Hell… Her mind kept running around in circles. “Umm, kinda, I mean, I don’t know. I need to think about this a bit. Let’s go get our morning catch, I’ll talk to you about it later.” Noodle said, giving a curt smile to Chiyoko as she got up to put on her wetsuit.

The two women got into their little wooden boat and rowed out about a mile from land before each taking a deep breath and jumped into the cold ocean water. As Noodle was swimming around in the greenish depths she let her thoughts continue to spin. Her lungs started to burn for oxygen when she saw the biggest pearl shell she had ever seen in her life. Swimming forward she grabbed its unnaturally gleaming-white shell in her hands, then she kicked off the bottom of the ocean with her feet and shot up to the surface with her unique catch. 

Usually she would wait to open her catch until she got back to the shore, but she needed to see what was in this beautiful shell. She took out the metal hook she carried with her for dislodging particularly difficult shells and started to pry open the large clam. 

Suddenly the shell exploded open of its own volition and out shot a bright red light. This redlight quickly sored over to Chiyoko who was diving nearby. The redlight enveloped Chiyoko’s body while she struggled and kicked to free herself but it was too late as the redlight then started to suck itself through her open mouth and into her body.

Noodle screamed over to the older woman. “Chiyoko! What is going on!” 

Chiyoko turned to face Noodle with an empty eyed stare. “Thank you for freeing me, human. I am the demon Mazuu. Since you have so kindly freed me I will spare you. Enjoy your life, mortal.”

This could not be happening... Was Noodle really losing another person in her life! She started to swim as fast as she could to Chiyoko but Chiyoko’s whole body burst into red light and smoke, magicking out into the atmosphere.

Noodle returned to the beach screaming Chiyoko's name. She screamed, cried and asked the universe why it hated her so much. Then she got her shit together. 

Was she not the person that single handedly cleared out the zombie infestation from Kong Studios? She didn’t just sob and let bad things happen to her. She fought back. It wouldn’t make up for the loss of her friend but she would kill Mazuu. 

***

Several months later Noodle found herself walking into a very exclusive party in Tokyo dressed as a geisha and packing a katana and two 9mm semi-automatic handguns in her robes. She took in the room filled with gangsters, toughs and overly dressed, rich, people. In the center was a wizened, old, man laughing with an obscenely long tongue, that would have put even Murdoc to shame. 

The old man’s gaze fell on Noodle and he licked his lips hungrily as he gestured towards her with one finger. This was her quarry, this was the shape changing demon Mazuu that had taken Chiyoko away from her. She gave him a small smile and came forward bowing, making sure to keep a measured eye trained on the grody old demon. 

As she bowed she grasped her sword from the folds of her kimono and as she stood up she swung the sword in front of her, slicing the demon's head clean off its neck. The room's jovial mood instantly turned hostile with bodyguards running towards her. 

She had planned her escape well and after she whipped out one of her 9mm that she had stashed in her dress, and shot at several of the guards closest to her, she shot the window closest to her. She ran and jumped out the window landing on the next building overs roof. She went flying from building top to building top eventually working her way down to the shipping docks and a waiting crate, with a copy of Moby Dick. She jumped into the crate and used the inside latches to lock herself in and prepared for a bumpy, overnight, journey. It was addressed:

West London, England -  ℅ Murdoc Niccals.

***

A big wooden box was on the front stoop of Murdoc’s row home. This was a piss off, as he couldn’t open the front door. He could open the back door and go around to the front, but fack that. This was  _ his _ home, dammit! He opened his front door as hard and fast as he could (always a surefire bet for a man in a hurry) causing the wooden crate to fall sideways down the stoop steps and then land on it’s back.

“Ow!” Said the box.

Murdoc lit up a cigarette and leaned against the door frame, looking at the box with a grin on his lips. “It was cuter the last time when it was a small FedX Box. Mhuhuh.”

The box sighed and Noodle opened the latches on the inside of her box to let herself out. 

Murdoc took in Noodle’s crumpled kimono, disheveled hair and face that had been covered in delicately applied geisha makeup that was smudged and smeared down her face. “Looks like you had a tough night, yeah? Nhuh?” 

Noodle saw Murdoc smiling at her, snaggle tooth sticking out of his lips and, surprisingly, fully dressed, wearing a long-sleeve black and white striped shirt with many holes in it, black pants and cuban heeled boots. Noodle suddenly felt tears in her eyes,ven if he was her least favorite bandmate, he was still a bandmate; and a friend, and she was happy he wasn’t dead. She jumped up out of the box and hugged Murdoc with all her might. She knew she would probably catch something from him, but she figured she would risk it. Anyway, anything you can catch from a hug can probably be taken care of with a nice kerosene bath.

Murdoc was in shock for the first second of the hug, then he remembered himself. “ _ Yuck! _ The fack you doing!? Gerr off me.” He shrank back from Noodle, shivering in disgust and futilely wiping himself off with his hands.

Noodle couldn’t help smiling at him in his discomfort. “I’m sorry, I’m just so happy that someone else survived Plastic Beach!”

Murdoc looked up at her, his eyes betraying how happy he was to see her too, while he still tried to scowl at her. “Mhuh, Well several somebodyies did. Russel was stuck in North Korea… ”

Noodle’s heart jumped. “Russel is alive!? What the hell is he doing there!” 

Murdoc shrugged. “Hailing their generous leader I suppose… They were keeping him as some sort of monster exhibit...y’know?”

Noodle gasped and shook her head as she started to mentally plan out how to get Russel out of there. “Oh no! We have to go save him!”

Murdoc took a good drag of his cigarette smirking to himself. “Well actually that worked itself out, he got back to his old size, not eating all that radioactive shite, unless you count the North Korean swill as radioactive garbage, and they just released him. I don’t know where he is, but he better be coming back to us, if he knows what's good for him. Either way ‘Ol Mudsy is on it! Then there's our soft-headed singer...”

Noodle’s heart flipped out in her chest. “Toochi….” This couldn’t be true, she had been telling herself, he was dead for ages, no Murdoc was probably just messing with her. Don’t get your hopes up.

Murdoc tapped the ashes of his cigarette out on the wall, dragging this out as long as he could as he enjoyed watching Noodle squirm. “Yes…. He has been fucking around in Guadalupe for ages. I got him to come back here to England. I sent a car to pick him up from the airport today but instead of getting in the car, clearly marked “Wanker,” he fucked off.”

“2D is alive!?” Noodle repeated in shock. She could see him again, he wasn’t dead! He was alive! There was still time!

Murdoc sighed and shook his head at her.“Have you gone as fucked in the head as Stu-Pot? Yes, he is alive, and not here. Can’t imagine why he wouldn’t want to come back to me, but there it is...y’know?” 

Noodle got right up to Murdoc’s pockmarked face staring him in the eyes. “Where is he!?” She couldn’t handle this, so close to her Toochi and yet not close enough, it was near agony.

Murdoc pushed off the door frame and stood up to his full height so he could look down at Noodle. “Listen to what I’m saying Noodle. I… Don’t… Know…yeah?” he said, eyes closed and chin wagging side to side with each word.

Noodle crossed her arms and stared as huffily as she could at Murdoc.“Who did you send to pick him up, did that person see him? They must have, it's not like he can fade into a crowd…” She was losing her patients, she had killed a demon only to be talked down to by this scaly green Satanist.

“I sent the Engineer to pick him up, yeah?” Murdoc nodded his head towards the house. “The engineer has been with me here, helping with the radio show I’ve got going on… Did you know I am syndicated in--”

“Don’t care.” Noodle interrupted, putting her hand on Murdoc’s chest to push him out of the way. “I’m going to find the Engineer!” She shouted over her shoulder as she strode into the house.

“Ello again!!!” The small lumpy man said from the couch in the very messy living room. “Can you get me some tea?”

Noodle rushed over to the couch and sat down next to him, her hands in her lap staring intently at him. “Engineer! Of course, Lady Grey, but I need you to tell me, did you see 2D?”

The Engineer blinked his big eyes at her. “Wif’ cream and sugar?”

“Yes, of course!” Noodle took a deep breath trying to stay calm.

The Engineer continued in his monotone drone. “Don’t leave the bag in too long it gets bitter.”

Noodle shouted her reply back. “I won’t leave the bag in too long!” Then she sighed and took a deep breath before smiling and asking in a much nicer tone. “Have you seen 2D?”

The Engineer gave a small nod and leaned back into the couch. “He knew the wanker sign was for him. He came over and was ‘appy to see me. We talked and then he asked me where to get some opiates pills.”

Noodle felt like her heart had dropped into her stomach. “No...” 

The Engineer continued on matter of factly. “I, of course, told him I didn’t know where to get any opiates.”

“Thank goodness! Thank you!” Noodle’s heart came back up again. She leaned in and gave the Engineer a tight embrace.

The Engineer spoke again, his voice muffled in her shoulder. “I did tell him about a good place to get heroin.” Noodle’s heart and brain shattered at the same time. She wanted off this rollercoaster. She let go of the Engineer shaking her head and leveled a steely gaze at Murdoc, who was penetrated by it enough to finally join the conversation.

“Why the hell didn’t you tell me this before, you tiny fack!?” he shouted, with not-entirely-contrived concern for his gangly blue friend.

The Engineer slowly shifted his head toward Murdoc, eyes locked in the 12 o’clock position. He said, crossing his arms with deliberate intent: “You didn’t ask. You also never made me my tea.”

Finding her voice unnaturally calm, Noodle asked. “Where is this flat?” Her brain felt unnaturally empty.

Staring at her with his big eyes the engineer replied. “Where is my tea?”

Murdoc grabbed the little man by his shirt collar in one hand and hit him hard in the head with his other hand. “I swear by all that is damned, that you will go to Hell if you don’t tell me where you sent my damn singer.”

The engineer absorbed the blow like a Panzer Mk IV Medium Tank.

“He is over at Shoot-Up-Shawn’s house.” The Engineer said calmly, following with a swift right hook across Murdoc’s chin.

Murdoc let go of the Engineer, stumbled backwards and tripped over an ottoman. This Returned Murdoc to his regular, subdued state, arms crossed. “Oh, Shawn’s a reliable bugger, get stuff from him all the time… Come on Noodle, let's get our lost lamb back... yeah?”

Noodle, still feeling unusually calm. It must have been shock. “Murdoc… Do you have any Narcan here?”

“Yeah, suppose that's a good idea.” Murdoc said walking quickly to the bathroom and grabbing a jar and some needles from the bathroom cabinet.

Noodle got up and started walking towards the door calling back to the Engineer, “I promise we will make you the best tea in the world when we get back, but we have to go now!” 

She hurried out the door with Murdoc following close behind. The Engineer blandly said to himself “This was a wonderful conversation. Thank you.” Then he resumed watching the Westminster Kennel Club finals.

***

5 minutes of quick walking later Noodle and Murdoc came to another row home. It looked exactly like Murdoc’s. Noodle was starting to feel her anxiety coming on and her heart was hammering. “Is this it? All these houses look the same.”

“Yep, this is it, good old Shoot Up Shawn’s. Nhuh.” Murdoc went up to the front door and knocked. The door opened in a flash, the chain-lock still connected. A scraggly, short-haired blond man with extremely crooked teeth of about 40 poked his head through the opening. His face was blank for a split second, then broke into a broad, friendly grin at recognizing Murdoc.

“Oi, Oi, Muds! What brings you around?! Looking to twitch up, you twitchin’, twitchy bastard?! I got a lot of people here today all dancing in the stars, you know what I’m saying? Might have room for one more but get rid O’ the chick, I told you ta only come alone. WHAT ARE YOU THINKING MATE?! You know the rules! The fack you bring others with you? We had a deal! You go drop the bitch in a ditch somewhere and come back and we can go see Mars. Right mate? You poncing around being an “ _ artist _ ” thinking you don’t need to stick to the rules. God, damn!” 

The scraggly man started to jiggle the door angrily back and forth for a few seconds at about 40 Hertz, then suddenly stopped and looked at Murdoc again jovially. “Hey are you coming clubbing tomorrow? They’ve got some big DJs in town they will be blowing the facking house down. You have to see it.… Hey, and I think you owe me 20 quid.” 

Murdoc leaned in conspiratorially towards Shawn. “Hey there Shawn, love to but nhuhh, right now I’m here because I think someone we know is in your den of sin and we gotta retrieve him. Yeah?”

Shawn started shouting again. “Why the fack do you think anyone would be here? I’m all alone here, no one comes here! Fack off you bloody wanker, don’t you ever come back!” He gave Murdoc the double deuce and attempted to close the door, but was stopped by Noodle’s lightning fast foot.

Noodle had had enough. She leaned in toward the opening, and with a friendly smile, said “Hey there Shawn, look here, I got a friend in there I need to see. If I don’t see him, you're going to see another friend of mine.” She pulled out her 9mm handgun from her coat. “You see, I’ve come a very long way, and I’m done with all this bullshit.”

Shawn did a quick mental 180, becoming fully serious and helpful, “Of Course! I would never want to get in the way of people and their friends! I’m never that type of person! Shoot Up Shawn is always there for yous...” Shawn quickly closed the door, unlocked the chain, and reopened it. “Always helping out, doing the best I can for everyone, I’ll let you in right quick. Can I get you anything else? Tea? Biscuits? Heroin?”

Noodle pushed past him and took in the room, which was mostly just old, stained mattresses on a wooden floor, a few lights, some graffiti art on the walls and many people strewn about. Some people had needles in them, some with needles on the floor. It smelled of bile and unwashed bodies. 

Then she heard someone throwing up. No, it had to be someone else. Anyone else here, this was just too apropo. Her feet moved quickly, of their own volition, towards the sound. Going upstairs and into a bedroom which was similarly covered with blissed out people, she saw the blue hair. Her heart jumped around in her chest. She was so happy to see him, and so unhappy to see him this way.

It was just like before. He was just as gaunt. Just as grey. Lips just as blue. He was lying on the floor, unconscious, on his back and he was starting to throw up. She ran over to him, quickly pushing his frail body on it’s side. He felt so cold and clammy as she touched him. She thanked her lucky stars that she had gotten to him in time to turn him over before he started choking on his own vomit. 

The sounds of his retching was soon replaced by ragged, struggling breaths. That terrible sound she never wanted to hear again. He was overdosing.

A dreamy, mellow voice came from the pretty, pale blonde next to him. Her hair flowed into her skin like watery milk. “I don’t think he's doing very well. He said he’s done this a lot before, that he could handle a big dose.”

Murdoc was already filling up a needle for Noodle and quickly handed it to her and she quickly stuck it in 2D’s shoulder, injecting it’s contents.

She checked her phone’s time and listened as he continued with his ragged, gasping breaths. Then his breaths suddenly stopped. This again. This terrible lack of sound... Noodle started breathing into him. Nothing seemed to matter or register in her brain except breathing into Toochi and desperately hoping he would breath back.

She was so glad that she had been deep diving for so long so she was able to keep up breathing into him without getting dizzy. But he hadn’t started breathing again….

“Murdoc, give me another dose of Narcan and call the hospital.” Noodle gasped out in between breaths. 

Shawn had wandered into the room while Noodle was trying to resuscitate 2D. Smelling a trap, he shouted. “No facking way you're calling the cops here. I respect your gun and all but, we need to move this guy out of here if yous going to do that. Anyway, he looks fine… ” 

Murdoc nodded at his old business associate. "It would just be easier to get him in my car and drive him there myself. I'm faster than the ambulance..." He hoped everyone was duly impressed with this statement as he filled up a second needle full of Narcan.

Noodle shouted back. “I can’t move him until he is breathing again!!! Where the hell is the needle Muds!?”

Murdoc stabbed the needle into 2D’s shoulder and injected its contents. “That’s all the Narcan that’s left!” 

Noodle was trying, but she was getting so scared, he just wasn’t breathing. How could she be this close to her Toochi just to lose him. “NO…. YOU…. CAN’T… DIE… Toochi!!!” she yelled between each breath, breathing into him over and over again. She felt his pulse. It was weak, but still there. She took one more deep breath and breathed into her Toochi. Finally she felt a shuddering breath back. “YES! YOU BLUE BASTARD!” Tears were streaming down her face as she sat 2D up and hooked her arms under his armpits. “Muds, grab his feet, he needs a hospital! Especially if we are out of Narcan…” Noodle took the lead dragging him backwards down the stairs with Murdoc. 

As they started their hurried descent down the stairs Murdoc tripped at the top of the stairs falling on 2D; both men rammed into Noodle, causing them all to fall down the stairs and creating a 3 person pileup at the bottom.

This jolted 2D awake and he sat upright with a start, clutching his heart. “What the fack happend! Oh shite, this again.” He looked around desperately, eyes falling on Murdoc first. “Fack, Muds….” Then he saw Noodle behind him and his face went blank for a second and then changed into a look of reverential awe. “Fack, Noodle!” He started to try and shuffle around to see her better but then his body gave out in a spasm of pain and he clutched his chest. “Oh bloody hell my ‘eart!” 2D tried to scramble to get up, but was too wibbly-wobbly, and just skittered on the ground like a dear in a hockey rink with his gangly limbs going everywhere.

Noodle rushed over, got under one arm and helped him stand up. “Let’s get you out of here. We need to get you to a hospital, right now!”

Murdoc came and got under 2D’s other arm smiling. “Why are you so worried? He’s okay now!”

Noodle locked eyes with Murdoc and gave a small shake of her head before smiling and crying tears of joy at 2D. Noodle and Murdoc helped walk a stumbling, discombobulated 2D out of the building and down the street to Murdoc’s car.

Shawn yelled out to them from his doorway as they left. “Fanks Muds! Yous my favorite customer!” Closing the door he muttered to himself. “Wanker.”

***

As they hurried down the sidewalk 2D squeezed Noodle with his arm and rubbed his cheek on the top of her head like a cat. “Noods, I ‘fought yew were dead! I was so sad!” 

Noodle rubbed his back with her arm. “Yes, and you almost died in my arms, for the third time. We have to quit meeting like this…” 

2D’s body went rigid with pain as he felt another spasm across his heart. “Ugggg, my ‘eart. I fink it ‘urts worse than the other two times…” 

Noodle gave him a little comforting squeeze. “We had to give you two doses of Narcan just to wake you up. Why were you out so bad!?”

2D took a shaky breath. “I told them I could handle a large dose. I didn’t tell them I had been clean for 4 years…” They made it to the car and Murdoc let go of 2D to open the back car door.

Noodle’s brain clicked into rage mode. “You IDIOT! You knew your tolerance went down! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!” Noodle shouted, shoving 2D with more force than necessary into the back seat.

“Unnn, I didn’t want ta facking live, is that what yew want to hear! Well that's the truth,” he added with a smug nod. “Appy?” Murdoc got in the driver's seat and Noodle got into the back seat with 2D, slamming her door closed as hard as she could. 

Murdoc yelled at her. "Oi, watch the car!" 

Noodle ignored Murdoc and gave into her rage monster. “NO! I am very UNHAPPY! I thought you were dead for those 4 bloody years! I cried every night thinking about how much I missed you! Then I find out your alive, but you're trying to kill yourself! I am so ANGRY AT YOU!”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUNNNNNNUUUUUUAAAAA!!!!!!” 2D clutched at his heart and screamed louder than Noodle thought possible. She watched him as he pounded at the seat below him in pain with his left hand and, grabbing his chest with his right hand, he moaned through the heavy, pain-laden breaths. Eventually he stopped slamming the seat and looked at Noodle, panting, and reaching out with his left hand to paw at the air near Noodle. Tears fell off his chin. “But I missed yew, my li'l luv.” 

Noodle took a deep breath to smother the rage inside of her while she grabbed 2D’s outstretched hand. “You're stupid, but sweet.” She tried not to smile then, but couldn’t help it. His hand was cold and clammy but it was his. She had missed him so much. Then something he said came back to her. “You were clean for 4 years?”

2D nodded at her, big eyes glistening. “I promised yew…”

Noodle was overtaken with her own bout of sobbing as she leaned over and wrapped her arms around 2D’s skinny body as hard as she could. He grasped her back just as tightly, crying into her hair. They held each other like this with 2D occasionally having shivers of pain wrack his body, as Murdoc sped them to the hospital.

Murdoc growled as he pulled up to the emergency drop off. “Break it up, love birds! Noodle, get Faceache in there and make sure he doesn’t die, yeah?”

Noodle looked to Murdoc and nodded a curt thank you to him. She got out and helped 2D out of the back seat and into the hospital.

Six hours, another overdose and another dose of Narcan later 2D was discharged and wheeled out to the car. He looked sheepishly at Noodle and Murdoc who helped him into the car. Noodle sat next to 2D and grabbed his hand, squeezing it tightly and smiling at him as they drove to Murdoc’s new digs in silence. When Murdoc parked, he grunted and made an announcement. “I will make the Engineer his bloody tea.”

Noodle gave him a tight smile. “Thanks, I always knew you were a good guy deep down inside.”

Murdoc stared down Noodle. “I owe allegiance to no one but Satan, don’t forget that love.” He then let out a deep sigh “Third floor, end of the hall is a room for 2D, I sent the Engineer on a recon mission to get some of our old shite, so 2D has some of his clothes and old bloopy machines in there.”

Noodle wanted to further tease Murdoc on how uncommonly nice he was being but felt that would not encourage such behavior in the future. So she just gave him another smile and got out of the car.

2D put a hand on Murdoc's shoulder. "Hey, Muds. Fanks. I'm sorry I didn't come before... I didn't know yew found Noods... I fought it was just gonna be me and yew again...And…. Well..."

"What's that supposed to mean you facking Faceache?" Murdoc slapped him on the head, barely brushing his blue spikes.

2D gave Murdoc a slight smile. “Fanks is all…”

Noodle grabbed 2D’s forearm and helped him to get out of the car. He was shaking and weak but he was pinkish instead of greyish so that was good. “Come on Toochi, let’s get you home.” Once standing he wrapped his arm around her little body and they shuffled towards the stairs. Noodle had to really struggle to help get him up as he leaned on her and the wall taking the steps one at a time and huffing.

Noodle held onto his boney hip as he laboriously made it up the last step of the second floor. “Well, it feels like you need to gain some weight again, did you not eat for the last 4 years aswell?” 

2D took a deep breath happy to have finally made it up the first flight of stairs. “No one was around ta keep spikin’ my food wi’ weed.” He said, plopping his tongue out at her as they got ready for the second flight of stairs. 

“You're on to me.” Noodle gave a small smile and squeeze, motioning her head towards the stairs. “Ready?” 

2D stared up at the challenge before him, and then looked at Noodle. “If I don’t make it at least I’ll die in yewr arms.” His puppy-dog black orbs shined down at her.

Noodle looked over his sunken face as seriously as she could. “I’m never going to let you die in my arms.”

2D sighed and started to slowly climb the stairs slowly while muttering under his breath. “Don’t make promises yew can’t keep my li'l luv.” 

Noodle wanted to argue with him about his last comment but decided not to bother the sick and tired man. “So you stayed clean for 4 years, maybe we can skip the withdrawal this time.” Noodle said, trying to sound positive while she guided him up the stairs. 

Getting to the top of the stairs 2D groaned and grabbed the wall. “I feel like ‘m eighty.” 

Noodle opened his bedroom door, “You’ll feel better soon 2D, you’re just sick and too underweight.” She led him into a simple room with a bed, desk, multiple synths, and a personal bathroom. Noodle moved 2D over to the bed and tried to let him down onto it, but he stayed standing, and gently guided her to turn towards him. “I missed yew Noods. I missed yew so much. I fought yew died, and I felt like the best part of me died too. I just… I… missed yew… I don’t ever want to fink yew died again my li'l luv.”

As he rambled, Noodle wanted to kiss him, but felt she shouldn’t. He had just gotten out of the hospital; he was tired and sick…. But then again, this rollercoaster ride she was on with him could go from great to terrible any moment; she could never know what tomorrow would bring. Did she really want to chance losing him again without letting her feelings be known because she thought there would be more time in the future? No. She wanted him to know how she felt and words wouldn’t do.

Noodle went up on her tippy-toes and kissed his lips slowly and tenderly. They were incredibly chapped and bleeding and he smelt like hospital, and sick, but there was a little hit of his sweet scent below. His breath hitched as she kissed him and he did not return the kiss and instead, promptly sat down on the bed. 2D’s overworked brain seemed to be having trouble with all of this after his already stressful day and he just sat there staring forward. Noodle felt tired too and oddly empty as she looked at 2D. “I’m gonna go get something to eat… You want anything?”

“Sure.” 2D said getting out and lighting a cigarette while, still staring ahead and not elaborating on if he wanted anything in particular.

Noodle went to the kitchen, happy it was empty as she made some peppermint tea and grabbed some biscuits. 

Staring straight ahead certainly wasn’t the response she wanted from 2D, but she knew that even in the best of times his brain could take awhile to process things and she was too tired to really care at this point. She wanted him to know how she felt. Even if he didn’t reciprocate, letting him know was better than never having shown him in the first place.

She came upstairs with the tea and biscuits and saw 2D in the exact same place she left him, staring past a poster that Murdoc had put up on his wall of a 50’s pin-up girl who was on the phone, her fingers twirling the cord salaciously. Noodle sat down on the bed and put the tea and biscuits between them. She handed him a mug with a picture of the cast of the 70s TV show Dallas on it that asked the drinker, “Who Shot J.R.?”

2D stared at the mug a moment and then suddenly started bawling, tears going down his face. “This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me!”

“Pretty sure it’s not…” Noodle said, smiling at their old in-joke and found she was crying too. “Drink up! With all the crying you have been doing, you're dehydrated.” 

“Yewr so much younger than me.” 2D blurted out.

That issue hurt. Noodle bit her lip. “Yeah, I know. But the heart wants what it wants…”

“Yewr ‘eart is pretty facked up then ta want a chain smoking, old guy, wif brain damage, broken eyes, opiate addictions and no front teeth.” He snubbed out his previous cigarette and pulled out and lit another one as if to prove a point.

“You forgot anorexic!” Noodle chimed playfully nugging him with her shoulder.

“Look, li'l luv,” he offered as encouragement, “I’m not a good catch, yew can do better!” 

Noodle knew she could get other guys, probably many with less problems than her blue haired Toochi. She really didn’t have a reason why she wanted to stick with 2D, except the only reason that really mattered. She loved him and he made her happy.

2D took another long drag on his kill stick, maybe he was hoping he would die in the next few minutes and not have to continue this awkward conversation. He started talking again, "Uhhh, also, I, uhhh, back in my fair days… well….. There were a lot of nice girls..."

"Your kids. I know I saw the emails back at Kong Studio, are you paying child support now?"

"Yeah, I wouldn't leave them out in the cold. I am sorry I got that baggage…" 2D said looking at the cigarette in his hands.

"Yeah, I haven't thought about that in ages. It is kinda a bummer. How involved are you with them?"

"The wimmen don't want nuffink ta do wif me. I only ever hear from them through their lawyers..."

"How do you feel about that?" Noodle asked. She had always felt bothered by 2D having a bunch of kids, but she liked 2D, she would accept this part of him just like all the other parts and problems.

"It was one crazy and stupid summer… several years later I get a bunch of wimmon saying I am their kids dad. I never met the kids… they will probably want ta meet me someday to let me know I am a piece of shit for fathering them. Doesn't really feel real at the moment… I wish it hadn't ta happened. Just another time I was stupid in a life full of stupid. Just makes me want ta have me pills..."

"I don't like that this happened in your past." Noodle said as 2D nodded sadly to himself. "But, I still want to see where being together will take us. You’re not that old, you're 36 and I’m 24. But when it gets down to brass tacks, we both know I’m more badass than you. You only ever killed zombies in video games, unlike me cleaning out all of Kong Studios! And wait till I tell you about the demon I killed!”

“Yew killed a demon!?” 2D turned to look at her with his huge eyes begging for storytime. 2D loved storytime.

“I’ll tell you about it but have a biscuit at least.” She said nudging the bowl towards him.

“Looking at you is painful when you are this skinny.” 2D bashfully took a biscuit and sat in rapt attention as Noodle happily launched into her time in Japan and her demon hunting adventure.

Three biscuits later 2D was clapping at the end of Noodle’s adventures. “That's my badass Noods! Yew have to take me diving one day, ama!” 

“Definitely!” Noodle grinned at her old friend. Chatting with him the years apart from each other melted away. To Noodle it felt like sinking into a warm bath. Their knees were touching and Noodle really couldn’t think about much else.

2D got quiet again looking at their touching knees as well. “Noods, I want to be wif you. I do! I want that more than anyfing else in the whole world. But I don’t want ta ‘urt yew. It's kinda my responsibility, being older n’ all,” he said, eyes closed and head raised to the side with the proud and deadly burden. “I don’t want ta get into a relationship wif yew where yew feel tied to me. Yewr such a free spirit and I don’t want ta drag yew down wif all of my problems.”

He got out his 3rd cigarette lit it up. “I kinda wish I could just care less about yew, maybe we could have some good sex and call it a day. But I don’t feel that way. I care about yew. I want ta be the one yew come to when yewr ‘urting. I want ta be yewr person, and I want yew ta be mine. Yew’ve been wif me for some of my worst days... Yewr  _ my _ li'l luv and I care about yew so much. I don't want ta lose yew.” He looked up at her shyly.

“Toochi, I know you respect me, so, know that I can take care of myself. I spent four years regretting not being with you.”

“That’s bonkers my li’l luv! Yew need specialist ‘elp! I’m a mess!”

“I know you're a mess! I’ve lived with you for years! I know you’ll never figure out how to tie your shoes, you constantly get lost in stores, you leave the milk out, you smoke like a chimney, and most of all you have a drug addiction. I also know you care about people and you always tried your best. Even with all the pain and drug addiction you were there for me. Always. You're funny and sweet and thoughtful and the person I want to be with most in this life. You make me happy. If you like me…”

“I luv yew!” 2D interjected grabbing her little hand with his big bony one.

“Then, I love you.” Noodle said leaning in and plucking the cigarette from his mouth and flicking it out an open window, without removing her gaze from him.

2D closed the gap and kissed her, softly, sweetly. Like he was trying to say I love you with his lips. He still smelt like hospital and cigarettes but the tea and biscuits washed away most of the vomit smell. Noodle opened her mouth a little to encourage him to come in, which he did, slowly, tasting her and humming to himself gayly as he did. He freely let her check out his mouth with her tongue as well. Her tongue found the gap in his teeth exceedingly interesting, touching all around it and getting the taste of his mouth. 

He giggled gently as she tickled the gap in his teeth. “Find that interesting luv?”

“Very.” Noodle said in a husky whisper.

“I really like this, but, uhhhh I’ve ‘ad a bit if a long day, Oh-DEEing and all. I’m not up to going all the way tonight…” 2D looked away from Noodle skin tinged pink with embarrassment.

“Aww, Toochi,” Noodle said, sitting back to look at him until he made shy eye contact with her. “I just wanted to let you know, I love you. I didn’t want anything more. We have time.”

His black eyes twinkled at her as he leaned in again to kiss her again softly and lovingly as he gently pulled her down so they were cuddling horizontally. They nuzzled and tenderly held each other until they fell asleep, with 2D wrapping himself tightly around Noodle like a spindly cocoon both feeling safe, warm, happy and loved.

***

2D woke up the next morning, at first forgetting where he was and then slowly he noticed he was holding something. Without opening his eyes he squeezed tight and it squeaked. He took a deep inhale of it and it smelled like sweet ginger. 

Noodle’s voice was thick with sleep. “Toochi, what are you doing?”

“Trying ta take in everyfing about the best morning of me life.” He slowly rubbed his chin on the top of her head. Noodle turned around and nuzzled into his neck. “Have yew come to yewr senses since last night and realized yew can do better than me?”

Noodle giggled. “No.” She slowly kissed up his neck, stopping to nibble his Adam's apple (to which he hachkked) and then continuing up his jaw and stubbly chin, eventually finding his mouth. She nibbled his lower lip. There was something so appealing and sweet about the way he tasted she just wanted to kiss him all day.

“I ‘aven’t brushed me teef yet…” 2D whispered between kisses.

“I noticed.” Noodle whispered with a chuckle in between kisses. “How are you doing today?”

“Perfect, luv.” His voice was husky as he nuzzled her face.

“You sure you don’t need something, a drink… Aspirin…”

“Hehe, those don't work for me… No. Just yew, yew’re my medicine.” He nuzzled her face until he got her mouth again, giving her increasingly sloppy kisses and inhaling her intoxicating scent. She bit his lower lip, sucking it in her mouth. She started to tug at his shirt lifting it up. “I ‘aven’t had a shower in a bit…” 

“I am aware, and I don’t care,” Noodle muttered. 2D grunted and lifted himself up so she could get the shirt off easier. As she got it up she ran her eyes over his underweight torso, with it’s smattering of dark blue body hair on his chest and happy trail leading to his pants. Her heart hurt seeing how skinny he was again. 

"Shirt for a shirt?" 2D asked, holding the rim of her shirt. He was trying his hardest to be slow and let her lead but he had noticed since Plastic Beach that she didn’t seem to believe in bras and he was excited to see the full monte. 

Noodle bit her lip. “Toochi, uhhh. We need to talk about something…”

2D let go of her shirt and frowned. “Yew don’t want ta be togefer… It’s okay...”

Noodle shook her head and sighed. “Stop jumping to conclusions! It's not that…”

2D looked at her caringly. “Then what my li’l luv?”

Noodle looked at the bed, avoiding eye contact. “It’s Hell. In Hell. I was raped. Repeatedly.”

2D’s mouth fell open into a little o shape. “Noods, ‘m sorry… You can talk ta me about it as much, or as little as yew want! ‘M ‘ere for yew. I luv yew.” He put his hand on her hand. “And if yew don’t feel comfortable ‘aving sex, that’s fine. We can work it out.”

Noodle looked up at him and couldn’t stop smiling. He was so sweet and thoughtful. “Thanks… I… I’ve been dealing with it for years now… But that’s not the problem… My abuser also left marks on me…”

2D squinted in confusion.

Noodle suddenly found she was crying. She didn’t think she would cry, or that this would get to her this much, but it did. It shot daggers through her heart and soul. She hadn’t told anyone about this since it happened. She thought she was okay with it. She thought she was over it. “He marked me. So I couldn’t look at myself without remembering him. You… don’t want to see… You’ll only think of him too.”

2D shook his head and wiped away a tear from her face with his thumb. “I don’t understand Noodle, but I won’t see him. I’ll only see yew. Yew being as strong and badass a person as yew always are.”

Noodle was shaking with stress as she slowly lifted her shirt. There were white ridged scars all over her breasts. Some were shallow, some were deep and jagged. In between her breasts he had carved the letters D.N. 2D’s eyes took this in and his face fell. He looked up at her aghast. She sobbed and covered herself again hugging herself tightly and shaking back and forth. 

2D wrapped his arms around her. “Oh Noods…. My li’l luv… You’ve been carrying this around with you for years… I am so, so sorry!”

Noodle sobbed into his shoulder. “I couldn’t fight him off! I should have been able too but I couldn’t! He ruined me!”

2D shook his head and pulled her into him until she was on his lap and he was cradling her, rocking her back and forth and stroking her hair. “He didn’t ruin yew! I can’t believe how yew carried this around wif yew for years! Yew looked after me all that time while yew ‘ad this burden!? Yew are even stronger than I fough!” 2D squeezed her tight.

Noodle shivered into him and said the thing that she really didn’t want to acknowledge. “You could never find me attractive like this!” She was surprised this hurt so much, she never thought she would care about this sort of thing with anyone but 2D made her feel all sorts of strange things.

“My li’l luv, you're the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, and those scars only make you more beautiful. They show how strong yew are.”

Noodle shook her head. “I’m sorry, but I don’t believe you.”

2D pulled back so he could look at her sobbing face, his lips in a cute little twisted grin. “Yew don’t ‘ave ta believe me. I’ll show yew…”

Noodle felt him push up at her while she sat on his lap. She bit her lip and let out a sobbing laugh. “Toochi! You… You still love me.”

2D rolled his dark orbs around in his head. “And they call me the slow one…” He leaned in and squeezed Noodle. “If yew’ll ‘ave me, it would be an honor, I don’t deserve, ta be yewr man.”

Noodle grinned, now crying tears of happiness. She bit her lip and cautiously took off her shirt. This time 2D took in the parts he liked, staring at the two small and incredibly pert breasts with large dark nipples standing erect. 2D’s breathing hitched and he leaned in to suck. Noodle thought this would hurt like the last time her nipples were sucked, but her nipple went in the gap of 2D’s teeth leaving her with a very pleasant tingle. “Ohhh…” she gasped, back arching and curling her toes, as 2D’s left hand curled around her waist and pressed her closer to him while his right went up into her hair. Her arms ran around him feeling the bony vertebrae and ribs on his back, that would change, she would make sure of it. 

She snuck her hand around to the front of his pants, latching her forefinger onto his button and slowly stroking his hairs above the button with her thumb. "Are you blue all the way down?"

"Yew better check." He whispered in her ear, sending shivers down her spine.

With a quick motion of her fingers she undid his button and pushed his pants and underwear down. First of all giving her a view of his boney hips. 

Finally her gaze made it down to the only thick part of him, standing erect out of a thatch of dark blue. She quickly unbuttoned her pants and whipped them off laying back down and giggling.

2D suddenly stopped kissing her and instead started hurriedly searching the bedside table for condoms. "Fack, course Muds wouldn't put any condoms in ‘ere."

Noodle felt like a child that just had their balloon popped. "Ahhh well, we can do other….” She dug her hand into the sheets and ripped them off the bed. “FUCK!!!" 

Lying next to her, 2D stuck 2 of his large fingers inside of her while hitting her clitoris with his thumb as he moved his hand rhythmically in and out.

"Like that my li'l luv?" He whispered in her ear as he used his other hand to take care of himself. His member hitting her stomach.

"Unnngggg." Noodle replied. Then suddenly and without warning 2D bit her neck, lightly at first, grazing his teeth up and down her throat, sending shivering spasms across her body, then he found one spot he liked and started sucking, hard. 

Noodles brain felt like it turned into a disco ball. She was vaguely aware of her body convulsing and 2D ejaculating on her stomach, but the main course was just her brain exploding with light. 

Eventually it all gently faded away leaving her feeling that she was floating in a blissful afterglow. She just felt so thankful and so happy that her Toochi was here and able to be with her, she just had to cry from the joy of having him in her life.

"Awww, luv. 'M sorry, what did I do?" 2D said, pawing gently at her face.

"Th-that was the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me.” Noodle gasped in between sobs. “For real…" She was trying to dig into 2D's chest with her head and pulling his arm around her. "No one has ever taken care of me like that."

"Yew took care of me all that time. Just repaying the favor." 2D gave her his goofy grin. “I liked it too but that is wasn’t the nicest fing I could do for yew…” He said kissing her forehead and going down to her sex to give her a  _ real _ good time.” 

Noodle had never experienced this before and within minutes of him gently lapping at her she was again in the throws of another orgasm. This time her world shattered and she couldn’t stop the long, guttural, scream that tore out of her mouth as she bashed the mattress with her hands in sweet ecstasy.

When 2D’s head came into her view again she grabbed him and pulled him over to her mouth giving him a long sweet kiss and tasting herself on his lips. 

He grinned proudly and happily at her. “I luv yew Noods.”

“I love you too Toochi. Thank you.” She let bliss take her away while 2D reached for his cigarettes to have his 4th in about an hour. Noodle shook herself out of her revelry and put her hand on his, “Don’t you think you’ve had enough cigarettes?”

2D shrugged. “Well we just ‘ad sex 'aven’t we? Cigarettes are what yew do after sex…”

Noodle couldn’t help laughing at him. Small steps, don’t bother him about cigarettes the day after an overdose. 

They cuddled and Noodle fell into a dreamy postcoital state and in her shimmering, thoughts she felt a desperate need to be with her Toochi, now and forever. She wanted to build something with him, she didn’t know what she wanted to build, but she knew she wanted to build it and she knew she wanted him to be there with her for the building. It felt like her life was at the beginning of a new chapter that she wanted to write with Toochi instead of alone. She wondered how long this chapter would be, Toochi, wasn’t the healthiest of people with his addictions and the fact that he was older than her made it pretty unlikely that they would finish both their stories together but that didn’t matter. He was her best friend, the person that brought light into her life. The world was so much more fun when he was in it and she wanted to cherish every day she had with him.

Eventually Noodle roused herself out of her thoughts when she found that the parts of her that were not covered by 2D were cold.

2D was looking over her and tracing designs on her skin with his shapely figures. Noodle had always loved seeing those fingers glide over keys when they played together. "Yew know I have always luved yew. When yew were a kid I luved yew like my sister, but when yew saved me at Plastic Beach, I started to love yew more…” Taking a long drag of his cigarette he let the smoke dance away from him. “Like… Remember back in the olden days when I didn't want ta come onstage and sing? Instead a waiting till Murdoc beat me to get onstage Russ started hanging a cream egg on the mike, to encourage me like."

"I remember that! You always did have a sweet tooth!" Noodle giggled, pulling a blanket on herself, careful not to get it on her messy belly, and interlocking their fingers together.

"Yeah, the cream egg was my reason for coming on stage. That’s what yew are, yewr my cream egg for living!" 

Noodle slowly ran her hand down his jawline. "Awww, Toochi, you're such a sweetheart!" It was a nice sentiment and she couldn’t deny her heart fluttering with the flattery but if what he said was true, that wasn’t a good place for him to be. She knew she couldn’t be his only reason for living. Well, eventually he liked coming onstage because he liked performing, maybe he would find more reasons to live as time went on. 

They sat in silence for a while enjoying each other's comforting smell and warmth. Eventually Noodle moved to lean on top of his chest so she could study his face. She loved his face with its wide jaw and cheek bones, large dark orbs and sparse whiskers. His mouth broke into it’s gap toothed grin and she felt her heart flip. That was her favorite smile in the world and she wanted to kiss his soft lips. As she studied his face she saw some faint lines forming around his eyes, crow’s feet. It reminded her he was over a decade older than her made her feel a little shiver of mortality. His mortality. She pushed that thought away and instead basked in the fact that he was damned handsome and he would still be handsome as those lines got darker. She studied his dark orbs as he looked into her enchanting green ones, she said in a quiet whisper, "I don't think you ever told me what color your eyes were before..."

2D chuckled as he ran his fingers over the soft skin of her cheek. "Can't yew guess my li'l luv?"

She squinted into his darkness, "No, all I see is black."

"Blue. They were dark blue. I was told a few times they were very pretty..." 2D grinned proudly.

"You had blue eyes and blue hair?" Noodle bit her lip and chuckled as she ran her hands thru his hair and twirled it in between her fingertips.

"When I was very young, my 'air was dark brown. Before I fell outta the tree." 2D said rubbing her cheek with his thumb. She loved how gently and cared for she felt when he touched her face. It was like she was some rare treasure to him.

Noodle tried to imagine him with brown hair and blue eyes. It didn't seem right in her mind's eye. "I can't believe you looked like that. I've known you for so long this way."

"Don't forget I used ta ‘ave front teef!" 2D said grinning at her, and shoving his tongue back and forth through the hole to make her laugh.

Noodle chuckled and nuzzled her face into his neck, feeling his soft skin around her face, "Muds really messed you up, huh?"

2D muttered into her sweet smelling hair, "I'm not complaining luv. I can't imagine what life I'd a 'ad if he 'adn't hit me in the ‘ead wif the car. Anyway me and the pills go back waaaaay farther."

“Oh?” Noodle raised an eyebrow at him.

“Yeah. I fell out of a tree. That’s when I started getting the ‘eadaches… Me mum gave me pills for them.”

Noodle frowned at this information and put her head on 2D’s chest, listening to his heart. It was soothing with it’s gentle thumping. He was a human being and he had chosen to be with her and that was wonderful. 

Stretching Noodle spoke, her voice husky. "I should take a shower, clean up the mess you made." 

"Hmmmm? Oh, right.” 2D said snuffing out his cigarette. 

Noodle traced his lips with her finger and asked. "Shower with me?"

“Course!” 2D grinned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Now time for some more warm fuzzies! Thank you for comments!!! I really, really appreciate them! You guys give me the warm fuzzies!


	15. Cotton Candy

2D didn’t seem to be going through the withdrawal or depression like the previous time, but he was really weak and couldn’t do much in the weeks after his overdose. Luckily that was okay for both 2D and Noodle as they had full day cuddle sessions watching movies, gaming and catching up on the missing years. Slowly 2D some strength back.

A month after 2D and Noodle reunited Noodle was showing 2D how to bake marijuana brownies and somehow 2D had gotten batter in his hair when Murdoc came into the kitchen and growled at them, “Not that either of you two wankers care, but Russ is over at some shit guitarists named Jeff Wootton. I got in contact with Russ and he’s coming here… Nhuhuh….” Noodle and 2D looked up in shock and excitement. 

Noodle clapped her hands grinning, “Yes! I was going to go looking for him if he didn’t show up soon.” 

Murdoc huffed, “Well no need to leave your precious pretty blue boy now, I took care of it, yeah. I deserve a medal or something, nhuh.”

Noodle put her hands on her hips, “Toochi needed help too!”

Murdoc laughed. “Nhuh, yes, I’m sure you're the only good thing in Faceaches life and he would fall apart without you playing house with him. That's what you want to hear, isn't it? That you're important?  _ Needed _ , yeah?”

2D interjected, while licking raw batter off a spoon. “Well, she is! She’s my li'l luv, and she saved me!”

Murdoc sneered, “This time, Stu-Pot.”

2D scowled at Murdoc. “Wots that a'spoh-sta mean!?”

Noodle got in between the two. “Hey Muds, you want Toochi around as much as I do!”

“I don’t want anything to happen to Faceache, but the world doesn’t revolve around you waiting on him hand and foot.” Murdoc growled at Noodle. “Both of you are facking twitterpated.”

“Well it doesn’t hurt to be nice to someone once in a while, you should try it.” Noodle clapped back.

“Why are yew so mad Muds? Are yew lonely?” 2D asked, looking at Murdoc kindly with his big eyes and trying to pat Murdoc on the back.

“Bloody hell, I’m not lonely!” Murdoc smacked 2D in the back of the head with his hand. “Got enough birds to keep me happy every night and I don’t have to deal with their problems in the morning. Keep your touchy-feely bullshit to yourself Stu-pot.” Murdoc then took a deep sigh to collect himself before he started talking again. “Russ is coming here soon and then we will have the band back together and we are going on tour. It's all set up to start in June and we’ll be starting in the good old U, S of A! We need to recoup our financial losses after that Plastic Beach disaster, yeah?”

“We’re gonna go on tour!” 2D exclaimed, grabbing Noodle’s hands, smiling and bobbing his head up and down in excitement, like a budgie. “I can’t wait to go on tour wif yew!”

Murdoc sighed, “You two always went on tour together.”

“But now we’re a couple! Everyfing is better!” 2D said, proud as punch while giggling together with Noodle.

Murdoc went to the fridge and cracked open a beer for himself. “Nhuhuh…” Was all he could bring himself to say.

***

Russel, who was back to his normal size, was about to knock on the front door of the building, when the door opened on it’s own and he got hug attacked by Noodle and 2D. “Aaahh! Baby Girl!!! I missed you! You're okay! I hoped you would be, but after I got harpooned I lost track of you. I was so worried!” Russel rubbed Noodle’s head with his hand before turning his head to look at the blue haired man. “2D, man, I didn’t know what the hell happened to you! I’m glad you're doing okay!” Russel grinned patting 2D on the shoulder. 

Noodle smiled ear to ear. “I’m so happy your here Russ! I’m sorry I didn’t come and get you! I thought you were dead and then I had some other things come up and well… I’m sorry!”

Russ smiled at her, “Ain't your fault Baby Girl. You don’t have to worry about me, I can take care of myself.”

2D gave an extra tight squeeze to his bandmates, “Yew’re small again! I’m so ‘appy yew can fit in buildings now! It's been so long since we rocked out!”

“I know! I’m so happy I can fit in buildings too, but I’m even happier I’m not sitting in a cage in North Korea…”

Murdoc came over and leaned on the door frame. “Russel! Finally made it, yeah? Band's back together, y'know?"

Russel grabbed Murdoc with one of his big hands andand pulled him into the hug. “Come here you stale pickle!”

“Daw! Group hug!” 2D said as he and Noodle pulled Murdoc into the center of the hug. The Engineer had been observing from his base of operations on the couch, and now made his way over and silently hugged onto the group. 

Murdoc squawked and tried to get away, “Gaaaack! I don’t like this! I don’t like being touched if I don’t have a boner!”

Eventually the Russel, Noodle and 2D let go and Murdoc quickly escaped back into the house and up into his room.

2D grinned at Russel, “We baked yew a cake!”

Russel smiled and came in the house, “You baked a cake D? I feel kinda afraid to try it...” 

Noodle laughed, “He did good, except when he leaned on the stove and accidentally turned on the burner, setting fire to his shirt… But other than that, he was great!” 2D poked his finger through the hole in the back of his shirt with an embarrassed grin.

Russel chucked at 2D and then surveyed the living room and kitchen, “This place is a fucking mess. Brings back the old days at Kong Studio.”

“Yeah, it's really homey, innit?” 2D said, smiling nervously and nudging some food wrappers and old magazines out of the center of the floor to under the couch with his foot.

Noodle felt embarrassed that she didn’t clean up. “Ummm, the second floor has a big room we can use as a studio and you have a room on the 3rd floor.”

2D suddenly ran to the fridge, “I got sumfing for yew Russ!” Grinning ear to ear he pulled out 3 large sealed plastic bags, one containing a dead dove, one containing a dead squirrel, and one containing a dead racoon. “I searched all over for these and I made sure they didn’t smell bad or look like a zombie ate ‘em!”

Russel’s large white eyes went large in surprize. “Yo, D! Thanks! They look great! I can’t wait to combine them into one monstrocity!”

Noodle grinned at her silly blue boy as he shook the bags in front of his face looking at the carcasses. “Sooo, Russ, I umm, figured we should let you know…”

2D grinned at Noodle and, with the hand holding the bagged dead racoon, wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her into a side hug, declaring proudly, “We’re a couple now!”

Russel made a small grunt, “Yeah, I saw that coming from a mile away…”

2D was still grinning goofily as he kissed the top of Noodle’s head, “Yes, but now it's official!” Noodle giggled as she tried to grab the bags from 2D’s hands so she could put them back in the fridge before they went south.

Russel sighed sadly and said in a level tone, “I’m happy you're both happy. Follow your heart but take your brain with you.”

2D grinned, “Noods gots brains for both of us!”

*** 2 Months Later ***

The clanging alarm woke 2D out of a wonderful dream about being a storm chaser and driving fast behind a huge tornado. He turned off the alarm with a bang of his hand and nuzzled into Noodle. She had been sleeping with him since they moved in and he couldn't be happier about that. He loved her small, soft body next to his. He liked to feel like he was protecting her when he wrapped his arm around her. He knew it was more likely she was protecting him, but he could pretend. 

"Hmmm, good morning Toochi." Noodle said groggily waking up and turning to face him. She booped his nose with her own and asked, "Do you know what day it is?"

2D grinned, "A day I get ta be wit yew?" He said rubbing noses with her.

"Haha, always but today is a special day…" Noodle said, giving him another nuzzle before hopping out of bed and looking for some clothes strewn among the floor.

2D sat up and yawned,"Yew know 'm not good wif dates…"

"Well, it's the Japanese day of the kiss…" Noodle leaned over and kissed his forehead.

"Oh, so we've got to do a lot of that!" 2D stretched and kissed her sloppily on the mouth, morning breath be damned.

"Aggg! Toochi!” Noodle playfully slapped him with the shirt she was holding. “Do you really not know what day it is?" She was putting on one of 2D’s shirts that said “Hello Kinky.”

2D blinked his big eyes at her and innocently asked, "Christmas?" as he found his cigarette pack and a lighter.

Noodle blinked at him sometimes she really couldn’t believe how out of it he was. "In May? No. Fine, you'll figure it out later…" 

"The Fourth of July!?" 2D asked excitedly as he lit his cancer stick.

Noodle gave him a look of confusion and mock disappointment and picked up another shirt that had an arrow pointing down and said “Hold It Down.” She sniffed the armpits of the shirt and then, deeming it clean enough she tossed it to 2D.

"Aaawwww, tell me li'l luv! I want ta know!" 2D said as he pushed off his blanket. 

"Nope, you'll find out later…" Noodle putting on a worn pair of blue jeans.

"What if I don't figure it out!" 2D moaned, getting up and grabbing some jeans he found on the floor and putting them on.

"Trust me, you’ll figure it out.” Noodle said leaning on a dresser, shaking her head at her Toochi. “For now, get ready, I’ve got a busy day planned for us.”

2D blinked at her again, “Wot? Why?” 

Noodle smiled at her silly fellow and wondered vaguely if he used to be more on the ball before the brain damage. Regardless, she loved him, he was sweet and he took care of her heart which made up for her having to repeat herself all the time. “Because it's….  _ Sigh…  _ The Japanese Day of the Kiss. Just get up and get dressed…”

2D pouted, “I shoulda gotten yew somefing for today…” 

“Well, we're going out so we can have a fun day and that's all I want.” Noodle said, grabbing his hand and pulling towards the bedroom door.

***

The couple were soon going down stairs, holding hands and following the smell of eggs and bacon to the kitchen. Russel smiled at them both as they came down, “Hey you two. Finally got up? I made breakfast for you guys.”

2D grinned at Russel, “Fanks, Russ. It’s really nice o’ yew ta always make food for us.” Noodle and 2D both sat down in two chairs side by side, without ever letting go of each other's hand and then giggled at each other over the achievement.

Russel shook his head at them as he gave them each a hearty plate of eggs, toast, potatoes and bacon. “It’s like living with two teenagers in love…” Russel grumbled, not unkindly.

2D shrugged and nuzzled Noodle before turning towards his breakfast and digging in heartily, “Luv feels good whatever age yew are.”

Suddenly the world went dark for 2D.

“Wot 'appened ta the sun!” 2D exclaimed and patted his head feeling something furry encompassing his head.

Carefully removing the furry thing from his head 2D's eyes turned into saucers as he looked at a coonskin hat. “Wooohaaaawow.”

Russel gave 2D a friendly punch in the shoulder, "I made it with the roadkill you gave me, thought you would like it. Didn’t need it for my other creation.” Russel placed his newest monstrosity, a squirrel cut off after the two front paws and stitched onto a dove that had its tail cut off, in the middle of the kitchen table as a terrifying centerpiece. Russel grinned proudly at it.

2D, still admiring his hat, looked up at Russel, grinning ear to ear, “Fanks Russ!!!” He turned his cap around admiring it from all angles and then put it back on his head smiling gleefully. “This is the best present eva’! It gives me +2 ta accuracy!”

Russel smiled at 2D, “Glad you like it D. Wanted to get you a good present---” Noodle was shaking her head making stopping motions with her hands behind 2D’s back. Russel quickly recalibrated, “because you're clean.”

2D was proud as punch. “Yeah, guess that is a good fing ta be rewarded for!” He stabbed some potatoes with pride. “It’s not so bad! I’m doing okay!” Noodle lay her head on his shoulder and smiled at him, so happy he was doing so well.

After they ate their breakfast Noodle started to hurry off to the bathroom before they left. Russel put a hand on 2D’s shoulder and looked him in the eye. “D, man, Noodle really loves you. You know that right?”

2D grinned and said dreamily, “Yeah, she’s great isn’t she? Makes me feel all tingly and warm inside!”

Russel nodded and continued, “She’s my baby girl, and she is giving her whole heart to you, without reservation. Don’t break it.”

2D cocked his head, confused, “She’s my li'l luv, I would never dream of ‘urting her! Yew know I care about ‘er as much as yew!”

Russel pressed his lips together tightly and nodded. “D, when you’re thinking of doing something stupid, just put her first.”

2D shook his head, “I don’t understand…”

Russel sighed, he was talking to 2D, of course he didn’t understand. He needed to speak in plain terms. He started to count out things on his fingers. “Don’t cheat on her, don’t lie to her, don’t start using pills again…”

2D cut him off looking shocked, “I would never do anyfing like that ta Noods! I love ‘er!”

Russel was still staring him down, “Promise me, I want to hear it from you myself.”

2D looked into Russel’s eyes, “I promise, I would never do anyfing ta ‘urt Noodle! She’s the best fing in me life!”

Russel sighed, he had hoped that telling 2D to promise would help sooth the nagging tension he felt in his chest when he saw Noodle and 2D together, but it didn’t. Russel supposed the only way he would feel better was to see that 2D wasn’t fucking up. "Just don't forget, she went through a really shitty time with you, trying to get you clean, so she really needs you to just be good to her now."

2D's heart hurt as he remembered how bad it had been. "Yew’re right, I did 'urt 'er… I can't let that 'appen again…"

Noodle popped her head into the kitchen and came over to 2D’s side grasping his hand, “Hey! Let’s get going, we have a bit of a drive!”

2D looked down at her and pouted, “Yew still haven’t said where we’re going...”

Noodle grinned at him, “And I’m not going to. Come on!” She dragged him towards the door and looked back at Russel, “Thanks for breakfast Russel! See you later!”

Russel couldn’t help feeling happy for them. They both had so much pain in their lives and they looked so happy together. He really did know 2D loved and cherished Noodle, maybe that would be enough to keep him on the straight and narrow.

***

Noodle was driving in Murdoc’s 69 Chevrolet Camaro. 2D mutter nervously, “Are yew sure Muds is okay wif this? If ‘e isn’t I’m gonna get hit in the ‘ead...”

“I worked it out with Muds, quit worrying, just for a few okay?” Noodle said, smiling and squeezing 2D’s knee. “So, have you figured out where we are going yet?”

2D scanned passing scenery and then saw a ferris wheel looming behind the trees. He grinned and started ouncing happily up and down in his seat he exclaimed, “We’re going to my Da’s Funfair! Awwww, we never went out on a date before! This is our first one!” He leaned over to kiss Noodle on the cheek.

A few minutes later Noodle was pulling into the fair’s parking lot. “I’ve never been here before so you need to guide me to all the best stuff...”

“Yew bet! This is gonna be perfect!” As soon as the car was parked 2D leapt out of the car and ran around to Noodle’s side. As she was getting out he anxiously grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the entrance. Noodle giggled at his excitement. She was so happy! She couldn’t believe that this silly goof of a man had been so sick and depressed before, it really seemed too good to be true. 

_ Is he really an opiate addict who is 13 years older than me? He seems so young, sweet and happy without any problems...  _ While he was tugging her along with one hand he pulled out a cigarette and placed it in his mouth so he could light it.  _ Well, maybe a few problems… _

Once inside the fair 2D dragged Noodle over to a big roller coaster. “We gotta start fings off right wif somefing big!” It was early; the fair was very empty, so they were the only ones in line.

A middle aged, burley hairy man operating the coaster squinted at them. “Oi, is that you, Stewart?”

“Mel! Howzit going, yew old codger?” 2D said clasping hands with him and smiling.

“Bloody ell, haven’t seen you in bout eight years! Wouldn’t a recognized you ‘cept for the hair and eyes. You finally quit that good for nuffing band and decided to come back to the fair?”

2D chuckled, “Naw Mel, I’m not gonna leave the band! Just coming ‘ere for a date.” 2D squeezed Noodle’s hand.

Mel looked Noodle over, obviously checking out her braless breasts. “Awwww back to your old ways Stewie? She’s cute, did you pick here up here?”

2D looked down embarrassed, “Uhhh, no, this ‘ere’s Noodle, she’s my girlfriend, my li'l luv!” He grinned proudly at Noodle.

Mel leaned over and put a big, meaty, hairy, sweaty, hock on Noodle’s shoulder, while moistly and loudly whispering in her ear, “This ‘ere blue boy was quite the ladies man at this fair! All the ladies used to meet up with him behind the dumpsters…”

Noodle quickly slithered out of Mel’s grip and placed herself next to 2D muttering, “That must not have been very comfortable, or clean.” 

“That's just how our blue boy rolled! He also rolled over a lot of people in bumper cars…”

2D shuffled nervously while turning red with embarrassment. “Mel! Why'jyeu bring this up!?”

“Because your beautiful friend here should know all about what a scamp you are.”

2D became indignant, “I already told ‘er everyfing! We don’t need it brought up every minute.” 

Noodle interjected, “You didn’t tell me it was behind the dumpsters… That does make it worse… And were you aiming to kill in the bumper cars?” She looked at 2D huffily and crossed her arms.

2D felt hurt and tried to calm her, “Awww, luv, I never ment ta kill anyone!!!”

"Did you kill someone!!!???"

"No!!! But one kid did need ta go to the hospital…"

Noodle suddenly laughed and playfully punched him on the shoulder, “Don’t worry about it, I’m only joking. Lets get on the ride. They say being scared together strengthens love bonds.”

2D smiled at her with relief, “Guess that's why we like watching 'orror movies togever.” 

Mel shook his head at them and opened the gate so they could board the coaster. They got on the front of the coaster and enjoyed a terror-inducing time, spinning around and around and screaming together. 

A few rides later they went down to the midway, grabbing some bubble tea and checking out some fair booths. As they passed one nice smelling booth with a bunch of colorful tapestries hanging around it. 2D pulled Noodle over to the booth, exclaiming, “Shiny!” as he looked at a bunch of different colored gemstone necklaces, picking them up and looking at them in the light.

Noodle chuckled at him and looked through a collection of different fragrance bottles, smelling some of the ones with interesting names.

“Toochi, smell this!” She said holding it up to 2D. 

“Gaggk!” He said as the bottle touched his nose. “That’s cotton candy! Good fing I like that smell, I’ll be smelling it all day now!” 2D squinted for a second as he studied Noodle’s green eyes, then studied a pretty green stone in his hand. Nodded to himself bought the stone. “This is for yew. Pretty fings go wif pretty fings...” He said, proudly handing it to Noodle as he paid.

Noodle grinned, “Awww! Thanks! Help me put it on?” She asked, taking his bubble tea and turning around so he could put the necklace on.

2D was finishing latching it onto Noodle’s slender neck when he spotted a brown haired, thick, busty woman down the walkway with a little boy of about 7. He whispered, mostly to himself, “That's Mary! We ‘ad a lot of sex back in the day… That must be one of my kids!!!”

2D rushed over legs feeling shaky as he looked at the brown haired, blue eyed little child, with Noodle following close behind. The child was boredly kicking a pebble around on the ground outside of a hand knitted goods booth. The woman went into the booth looking at some funny animal hats.

In one quick motion 2D bent down and squeezed the little boy as tight as he could in his large gangly arms, the little boy's eyes practically bulging out of his head. "I am yewr dad!!! I wanted ta meet yew before, I am so sorry I never did!!! I can't wait ta do dad fings wif yew, like…. throw… balls! And we can watch The Shining! That's a good movie about a father and son!”

_ WHAM!!!!!  _

A 35 pound shoulder bag hit 2D in the face and knocked him back into the Rubber Duck Pond. Mary was going in for a second swing screaming at the top of her lungs to alert everyone in the vicinity, “DON’T YEW TOUCH MY SON, YEW BLOODY PEE-DO-PHILE!” 

Noodle grabbed the bag yelling, “I think there is a misunderstanding here!”

Mary looked at 2D, eyes going wide in recognition, “Bloody ell! Is that yew Stewie!? What the ‘ell are yew doing wif my son!?”

2D was sitting in the Duck Pond, nose bleeding into the water, while a bored teenage attendant watched in amusement. A small child who had been throwing rings onto ducks started to throw them onto 2D’s head. 2D said, “He’s our son! I never got ta meet ‘im!”

“No he’s facking not! Bloody facking ‘ell Stewie, I knew yew were slow, but really! I would never have ‘ad a child wif yew! I wouldn’t want to subject a child ta that!”

2D stumbled out of the pool, plastic rings falling to the ground and, spilling bloody water everywhere. “Aven’t I been gifing yew child support payments!?”

Mary laughed, “HA! I bloody wish! Are yew telling me yew got some poor facking sod pregnant!?”

2D looked down at his shoes. “Actually I got 7 wimmin pregnant….” 

Mary looked disgusted. “What daft, bloody girls! I can’t believe they would let yew do that to them!”

“Well I got Gonorrhea from one of em… Was leaking green for weeks…” 

Mary just shook her head at 2D. “I can’t believe I ever let yew touch me.”

2D looked at her and her child “But I was sure one of ‘em was yewrs….”

“It wasn’t me, I assure yew... Don’t come near me or my child again. Come on Timmy, Mummy needs a beer!” Mary grabbed her son’s hand and rushed off into the crowed, flipping 2D off as she went.

2D stood with blood dripping down his face looking at Noodle in shock. “I’m confused.”

Noodle made a pitying face at 2D and patted his back. “You should try and find out who your kids really are… You seem to want some connection with them.”

2D sighed, “I guess so. I know I luved me dad, who always spent time wif me making bloopy machines. I just don’t want ta fink ‘m not gifing me kids that… Dads are important, yew know?”

Noodle smiled, “Yeah, I could not have asked for a better one than Russ. He still takes good care of me.” 

2D nodded in agreement, “Russ took good care of me too. Always asked if I’d eaten, and patching me up after Muds knocked me around. Sometimes, I fink, there are just pure souls that are just too good for this earth, but we get em anyway… There's no logic or reason for why they come into our lives, just random chance… We certainly don’t deserve ‘em.” He put his hand on Noodle’s face, thinking she was one of those pure souls, then he leaned over to give her a loving kiss on the lips. As he backed up he saw her face was covered in blood. “Awww, fack.” He licked his thumb and tried to rub the blood off her face while she shook her head spastically to avoid his finger.

“Ahhhh, Toochi! Stop!” Noodle swatted away his hands and then pulled out some tissues from her pocket to clean off the blood on her face and for him. “Come on, I want to get on the ferris wheel before it gets too late.”

2D’s look of childlike wonder returned as they made it to the top of the ferris wheel was priceless. “I feel like king of the world up ‘ere!” 2D swung his arms open wide and laughed, “Everyfing you see before you-- IS MINE!” 

Taking a deep sigh and relaxing into his seat and giving Noodle’s shoulder a squeeze 2D said, “I’ve ‘ad a really good day li'l luv! In fact I’ve been ‘appy every day we’ve been togever! I don’t fink I’ve felt this ‘appy since I was a kid. I’ve been feel so ‘appy, it’s a little scary.”

“How can being happy feel scary!?” Noodle said with surprise.

“Well, I’ve always been depressed. Even if I was laughing or ‘aving a good time. It was like I ‘ad this dark shadow just behind me. Kinda like it was always watching me and sometimes it would let me wander forward a bit, so long as at the end of the day I came back ta it.” 2D put a cigarette in his mouth and proceeded to light it. “Just knowing I had that darkness waiting for me would bring me down, even when I wasn’t really sad for any other reason.”

Noodle gave his back a little rub while he looked into his smouldering cigarette as he continued to talk. “Me pills helped me forget that I had the shadow behind me for a bit. I was able ta live in the moment, or just be taken out of time altogether and be in the Void…”

“But if you're happy now, without the pills, that should be a relief!” Noodle said, feeling a desperate need to confirm to him that he was better now. Maybe she needed to confirm it to herself too.

“Yeah! It is! But, it also feels... weird... Like, I’ve ‘ad that dark shadow wif me longer than anyfing else in my life, and wif'out it…” He took a drag on his cigarette, “I dunno…. Just kinda feels a little empty in my 'ead… Not like  _ me _ . Am I even still 2D!?” 2D started to pat himself to check.

Noodle laughed, “Of course you are! Just enjoy it!”

“I do enjoy it!” 2D exclaimed, but then he looked at the smoke coming off his cigarette, “But it also makes me feel confused. I guess I fink of my depression as an old friend and I don’t want ta let it go. But I am ‘appy, being ‘appy! I don’t want to lose me ‘appiness! I don’t know if I could stand that… It’s like tasting ‘eaven and then being told that yew can’t have it; that would be ‘eartbreaking…”

Noodle cocked her head at him, “Why can’t you just enjoy the moment and take each day as it comes?”

“That's what I ‘ave been doing, and that's why I am ‘appy!” 2D said grinning at her, then he bit his lip in thought, “But I still ‘ave these thoughts… Just digging away in the back of me brains.” He sighed in exhaustion at the thoughts filling his head, “Just finking bout it is all.”

Noodle gave him a good side squeeze and wished she could say something earth shattering to him to help him but couldn’t think of anything and decided to just let him know that she was there for him. “I love you Toochi and I’m here for you.”

He smiled at her, “Awww, my li'l luv, I’m a mess and I don’t deserve yewr luv. I don’t know how I got so lucky to ‘ave yew.” He booped her on the nose with his finger, “Hehe, that makes me sad when I fink that I’m not good enough for yew. All I can fink is, I’ll make it up ta yew someday.”

“Just stay clean and healthy Toochi.” Noodle whispered to him while leaning in to kiss his cheek.

“Course, my li'l luv.” 2D said nuzzling her.

As they got off the ferris wheel 2D asked, “Wot do yew want ta do now?”

Noodle checked the time on her phone. “Hummm, well we should go to the fair office now.”

“That's a boring fing ta do. Did yew lose yewr wallet or somefing?” 2D asked.

Noodle shook her head at him, “Just take us to the office Toochi.”

2D lead them through many, brightly lit, twists and turns eventually leading them to a small square building with “office” written on the door in official letters.

Noodle then took the lead, grabbing 2D’s hand and leading him into the building. The office was brightly lit and plain, with several desks and a few people sitting boredly at them. Noodle nodded at them and pulled 2D to a door in the back which she opened up into a dark room and pushed him through first.

“SURPRISE!!!!!!” A chorus of people sang and the lights flipped on showing a big sign that said “Happy 36th Birthday Stewart!” 20 some odd people jumped out from behind several long food laden tables.

“Aaaaauuuugggg! Bloody facken 'ell!” 2D screamed, jumping several feet in the air and clutching his chest. While everyone laughed. 

An older couple came forward wrapping 2D into a big hug that Noodle somehow found herself included in. After being released from the hug 2D’s mum, Rachel, who was a thick, pink -haired woman with bright reddish-orange lipstick, looked over 2D smiling, “My Stewie! Yewr looking good! I see Noodle has been feeding yew well!” She gave his face a few pats.

2D’s Dad, David, a tall, salt and pepper haired man who looked incredibly friendly, clapped his son on the back with a large calloused hand, “Good to see yew son, it’s years since we ‘eard from yew, old chum!”

2D found himself grinning from ear to ear, “Mum! Dad! It's so good ta see yew! I didn’t even know yew still were at the fair!”

“It's in my blood, couldn’t leave this old gal!” David said, grinning remarkably similarly to his son.

Rachel smiled at Noodle and grasped her hands, “And it's so good ta meet yew! Fank yew so much for reaching out to us so we could all get ta gever for Stewie’s Birthday!”

2D blinked and shook his head in shock, “It’s my birthday! I didn’t efen know!”

Noodle chuckled at 2D and looked at Rachel again, “Actually we’ve met before, after a couple of Gorillaz’s shows. Years ago when you came to see the band, I was the guitarist.”

Rachel and David’s faces fell as they looked at each other in shock. David said slowly, “Yew were just a child… I thought yew were the green one’s kids…”

Noodle shook her head. “No, I am just the guitarist.”

Rachel looked kindly at Noodle, “How old are yew luv?” and then seriously at 2D, “When did this start?” The rest of the people were standing by the food table shifting awkwardly at this interaction.

Noodle put up her hands to calm 2D’s parents down. “I’m 22 and this started a couple months ago.

2D piped up, “But she’s been ‘elping me for years.” 2D smiled at her adoringly and gave her an arm hug. 

2D’s parents still seemed in some mild shock but tried to let it go for the time being. 2D looked over the rest of the group, filled with ride and stand operators. He jaunted over to say hi to everyone as Noodle stayed back with his parents.

Rachel smiled looking at her son, “I was so worried about ‘im. He hadn’t gotten in contact wif us for years…”

Noodle drank in how happy 2D was clapping hands with old friends and laughing, “He’s had a hard time the last 8 years… Been stuck in some bad situations. He’s doing better now, much better.”

Rachel suddenly hugged Noodle again. “I don’t know what you two went through, but thanks for helping my son. He’s always been a sweet boy and I know that he’s been bullied by that green man in the band. I was worried ‘e was dead...”

Noodle felt awkward with the affection but gently patted Rachel on the back. _ I thought he was dead too. _ “Fanks, Rachel. He’s okay, I think he really turned a corner.”

David patted her back saying, “He really looks ‘appy. Yew must be something pretty special to our boy. Fanks for bringing us togever again.” Noodle appreciated the compliments but also just felt strange about the whole thing. She helped 2D because she loved him, she didn’t need thanks for that.

2D, who had a plate full of food, was motioning towards Noodle for her to come and join him. She was happy to stop being thanked by his parents and rushed over to 2D. He put his arm on her shoulder and proudly announced to the room, “This is my li'l luv, Noodle! She’s a brilliant guitarist, a kick ass murder of the occult and she saved me life a bunch!” He squeezed her shoulder while putting his cheek next to hers and whispering in her ear. “I luv yew Noods! Fanks for the party!”

A bunch people shouted out to Noodle things such as; “Yew saved our blue boy!”, “Fanks for ‘elping our Stewie!”, “Awwww!”, “She’s too pretty for you Stewart!”, and “Suck my dick!” Noodle felt embarrassed at the attention, but 2D was happy to be back with all his old friends so she tried to roll with it. 

After several hours of much food and drink 2D was sitting on a folding chair talking to a spindly little redhead man, as Noodle passed by snacking on some food on her plate. 2D grabbed her waist and pulled her onto his lap. Noodle made a weak attempt to get off 2D who laughed saying, “It’s me birthday luv, I get what I want!” Suddenly he bit the top of her head, “Braaaaains!” he exclaimed attacking her like he was a zombie. 

Noodle squealed, “AAAAAKKKKK!!!! Nooo!” She shrank down away from him and shoved a cookie from her plate in 2D’s face. 

2D munched on the cookie smiling, “I accept yewr virgin sacrifice! I shall let yew live another day!”

The redhead chuckled at the interaction. “So is this why yew don’t look like a stick anymore?”

2D nodded to himself, “This li'l luv likes ta feed me too much! Silly little fing!” He tickled her and she squealed swatting at him while also turning red in embarrassment. 

The redhead smiled at them, “So your the guitarist for the band and you both met--”

Noodle said, “14 years ago. Toochi was just like a big brother to me for ages, then I got lost for 4 years and when I came back, things started to change.”

2D put his head on top of her and lit himself a cigarette, “She took care of me and ‘elped me ta get clean.”

The redhead thoughtfully nodded, “Yew always did have a thing for those pills. How long have yew been clean?”

2D and Noodle looked at each other and said in unison “4 months…”

“Oh wow, so yew haven’t been clean for long…”

2D interjected, “Well I was clean for 2 years, but I fell off the pony…”

Noodle added, “But it was just one overdose, he has been clean since!”

Redhead said, “Yew overdosed!?”

The rest of the party went silent and all turned to look at 2D. Noodle wanted to hit herself in the head because of how stupid she was. Rachel came running over and swaddled 2D in her massive bosom while wailing, “My poor baby! What would you have ever overdosed on!?”

2D tried to gently push her off of himself. “Mum, it was me pills. Yew know I always had me pills…”

“But yewr just used those for yewr ‘eadyaches! Yew would never ‘ave abused them!” She cried trying to further swaddle him. 

2D gently pushed Noodle off his lap and stood up, looking down on his mum. “Mum, yew know that's not true. Yew saw me all those times when I was in the Void…”  _ Dancing in the stars… _

Rachel lightly hit his chest with her hand, “But it couldn’t be helped! Yew were in such pain, there was nuffing else we could do for yew!” She then started to try and straighten his jacket tears streaming down her face.

“I know I was in pain, and I needed the pills. It just caught up wif me a bit.” He hugged her, “I’m okay now…”

“I don’t know how yew could have done that! I never woulda fought yew… Yew would… Oh, my poor little baby!” Rachel continued to sob as David came behind her and hugged her. “Promise me! Promise me, yew’ll never do that again!”

2D put his arms up, “Course, mum, I promise! Yew and Noods! I wouldn’t want ta do that again! I’m ‘appy now!” He grinned at them both and put one hand on his mum’s shoulder and the other around Noodle.

***

As the party ended 2D opened up his big gaping maw into a yawn and while hugging Noodle announced, “I fink we better be getting back. It was luvely seeing all a yews, I won’t let it be this long before I see yew all again.”

Rachel and David came rushing over to give him one last big hug. Rachel begging him, “Please, please, please luv, keep in touch wif us! We missed yew so much!”

David shook a finger at 2D as seriously as humanly possible telling him, “And don’t yew dare overdose again! Think of yewr mum and this pretty little lady yew’ve got! Yew don’t want ta ‘urt ‘em!”

2D sighed at being told off again and forced a smile. “I’ll keep in touch and I won’t overdose, my li'l luv won’t let me.” Something in this statement gave Noodle an ominous feeling but she couldn’t quite put her finger on why.

As they walked through the empty park back to the car Noodle started to shiver from the cold. 2D took off his leather jacket. Noodle was protesting swinging her arms around to stop him from putting it on her but he wouldn’t let her get away with it as he managed to wrap the jacket around her from above and wrapped his arms around her so she couldn’t fling it off, he whispered to her, “Fank yew my li'l luv. Fank yew for today. It was perfect.”

***

The next week Gorillaz was off to start a USA tour for Plastic Beach. For some reason 2D, Noodle and Russel let Murdoc to bully them into having small bunks while Murdoc once again got the master bedroom at the end of the bus.

“Don’t worry luv, we can ‘ave some alone time in the dressing rooms. Plus we can ‘ave a hotel on our days off...” 2D whispered to Noodle, who was wearing long black boots, a knee length black skirt and one of 2D’s shirts that said T-Virus, while they were setting up to do a sound check for their first show. 2D smiled down at her showing off a full toothed smile, he had just gotten some dental implants before the tour and was very proud of them. Noodle was happy for him, but thought it looked a bit weird on his face, not to mention when she kissed him she found his mouth much more boring to tongue. 

“Do you think I’ll be able to even get to you with the swarms of groupies you’ll have around you after tonight?” Noodle said, smiling and working on tuning her guitar.

“Awww, li'l luv, don’t yew worry bout that. I only want yew. I’ll tell all the other ladies to fack off.” 2D said nuzzling her face and kissing her temple. 

“We never officially said we were dating. I know you’ve had a lot of women your whole life… I understand if you can’t be a one girl type of person…” Noodle said quietly, staring at her guitar.

“Wimmen arn’t a problem for me luv. No one else luvs me like yew and I don’t luv anyone else.” 2D put his hand on her chin to lift up her face to look at him. They smiled and kissed for a long sweet second. 

Over the speakers the loud voice of Laura, their stocky, crew cut, stage manager boomed out. “Can we get you two to do the sound check in the near future or should I go for some coffee?”

Noodle and 2D grinned and broke away from each other as Noodle started strumming her guitar and swaying while staring down 2D. He started to back up from her, looking at her like a hungry wolf while he tapped his foot to her beat and grabbing a mike. They broke out into a short segment of one of their songs for the sound check.

_ Nothing to be justified in _

_ Just something, you should feel nada _

_ I know she lies, I know she's my caller _

_ I sense her in my mind, she's my collar _

The show was fantastic for both 2D and Noodle. It was the ecstasy of a live performance but it was heightened by a hundred because they were together. They eye fucked each other for every romantic and sexy song, dancing around each other at some parts, playing backs together for others. It was perfect. Noodle loved looking over 2D and seeing him singing and dancing. She hadn't seen him this energetic in years, clapping people's hands smiling, doing little tricks, like dropping his mic stand almost til the mic hit the floor then catching the base of the stand with his foot and flipping it back up. She just wanted to drop her guitar and run up behind him to wrap her hands around his waist. 

At the end of the concert 2D came over and grasped Noodles hand and holding it for bows, then walked off stage giggling and kissing to the green room where there was a nice spread of food. 2D first mission was to whip out a red spray can and put a lettered tag of “Gorillaz” on one of the empty spaces of the green room inhaling deeply, “Luv the smell of spray paint after a show!” 

2D’s second mission was to make himself a plate of food from the waiting spread while a large group of groupies were being escorted in with some techs all laughing and flirting.

Murdoc made a guttural growl to himself. “I’ve been waiting for this moment all night! Nhuhhh!” Murdoc jumping up on the center table knocking off some plates of food and stepping on others. “Hello American birds!” Murdoc grabbed the crotch of his pants and tore them off, stripper style exposing his much loved, and much used leopard print posing pouch.

“EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE” The groupies squealed jumping up and down.

2D chuckled to himself and muttered. “‘E’s been looking forward to this for a while ‘e ‘as…” He put his arm around Noodle and shuffling with her out the back door of the green room into a hallway of dressing rooms. “Convenient distraction, isn’t ‘e?” 

“You're really okay missing out on the orgy?” Noodle asked quietly.

“I told yew luv, yew don’t ‘afta worry about wimmin wif’ me.” Plate of food in one hand and the other hand holding a soda, with the arm around Noodle he directed her into an empty dressing room that had a shitty wooden shelf for a makeup table running around the room, along with the fully lit makeup mirrors. As the lights went on, the room started to heat up from all of the filament bulbs. There were several very large signs on the makeup table saying “DO NOT SIT ON THIS TABLE,” but someone had scrawled in an h so it said “DO NOT SHIT ON THIS TABLE.” Noodle and 2D got down to having dinner and laughing together while reliving the best moments of the night performance. 

Noodle was gesticulating her story with a fork full of broccoli, “Did you see when Muds did that floor slide with the bass between his legs and hit his balls!?” 

“I fought he was going to throw up!” 2D said choking on some pasta while he laughed.

Noodle guffawed, “And then the guy on the spotlight took the spot off you and put it on Muds so everyone could see him writhing in pain!”

“Muds was so mad at ‘im, giving the double duce! Aww good times!” 2D said grinning and looking at Noodle with a sated smile as a pleasant silence took over the room.

Noodle bit her lip and leaned in. “How are you feeling Toochi?”

2D eyed her dolefully. “A bit lonely all the way over ‘ere luv…” Noodle grinned and slid off her chair and straddle 2D’s.

“Is that better?” Noodle whispered into 2D’s ear.

“Much…” 2D whispered back causing pleasant shiveres to go down her spine.

Noodle leaned into him hungrily, and they started giving each other incredibly sloppy kisses on the mouth and the occasional nip to the jaw and ear. 2D was squeezing her close to him.

Suddenly he grabbed her bottom in his large hands and stood up, taking her with him and placing her on the makeup table.

“Toochi! The sign says not to sit here!” Noodle said in a voice that was almost crying with need.

“Yewr light, don’t worry bout it, luv.” He said, voice unusually deep, taking her shirt off in between kisses and getting a view of her pert breasts, nipples dark and swollen. Noodle took his shirt off and took in his pale body grunting in approval. 

"Yew like me, my li'l luv?" 2D said smiling down at her and drinking her in. 

"I adore you…" Noodle said nuzzling into his soft chest smelling his delightful sweetness while she wiggled out of her skirt and underwear. 2D had pulled out a condom from his pants and was putting it on his erect member as Noodle took a look around the room of mirrors. 2D was in all of them and she could see every angle of him. 2D seemed to be enjoying the surround view as well.

“I can see six of yew at once! I get a whole bunch of Noods!” 2D exclaimed putting his hands up on either side of the mirror behind Noodle and his erect member found it’s moist home. Noodle loved feeling him plunge into her as he would pull all most all the way out of her, she would make small cries of lust only for him to come smashing back in again with his member. Her brains were just exploding each time he pushed in and she found herself gasping loudly and panting in ecstasy as she saw the many 2D’s around her in the mirrors. She looked up to his face, his eyes were half closed and his upper lip was twitching convulsively into a sneer of pure want and need.

He leaned in and found her ear with his new teeth and nibbled, whispering “I luv yew, Noods.” That did it. She heard herself screaming at the top of her lungs as her body had….  _ Earth... Shattering… Fireworks…  _ She felt like it was breaking into lovely little shards in time and space, just spinning through the stratosphere, and for a second she was utterly at peace with the universe. 

It seemed to spin 2D’s world too as he went off with her convulsing body. “Aahhhhh!’ he grunted, letting himself be absorbed by the orgasm. Noodle wrapped herself around 2D like a bandage and found herself crying into his shoulder. After a few seconds that spanned eternity, 2D looked at Noodle with a huge goofy, smiling grin. Sighing, he let his hands fall off the wall and rested his weight on the table going in to kiss her.

_ CRACK! _

The table, which had done its job admirably until this moment, gave way and broke clean off the wall. Noodle slid off the table into 2D and as she pulled him down with her he went face first into a metal strut that had been holding up the table.

“Daaauuuggghh!!!” 2D yelled grasping at his face. Then started to cough horking up the broken part of his dental implant, the screw in his jawline was bent inwards and blood was gushing down his face.

“Everything okay in there?” Laura’s deep voice called in on them through the door.

“Everyfing….” 2D said in a higher voice than normal and then cleared his throat. “Hrumpf, everyfing is fine….”

Noodle whispered worriedly and looked at her lover, “Toochi, are you okay!? I am so sorry!”

“I shoulda paid attention to the sign… Didn’t fink I would lose a toof… aaaauuuuhhhh.” 2D was checking out the damage in a mirror and saw the screw was all messed up in his face. “Well this facking ‘urts…”

Noodle was searching through her wallet and putting a couple hundred dollars on the broken table and scrawling on a napkin:  _ I am so sorry, we broke your table… I hope this pays for it. _ “Oh, Toochi, I’m soooo sorry!”

“Awww well little luv, it was worf it.” 2D said with a sign and nuzzling her and getting blood in her hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I mean how else did he go from missing two teeth to one?
> 
> Comments are like gold to me! If somefing many yew laugh or cry or go daw I want ta 'ear about it! Fanks! :D


	16. Zipper

They had a few days before the next show so Noodle took 2D to the hospital for some emergency dental surgery. As 2D was collecting himself, while being incredibly loopy from being put under while they removed the screw in his head a pretty young nurse came over to him, she smiled as she leaned over 2D. “Hello Mr. uh, D? You bashed up your face pretty good there but the screw is out and we packed the hole with some clove and gauze. Hopefully that will heal up fairly well for you. You should definitely check in with an oral surgeon within a week for them to check that gap and repack it. Now, about the pain, do you have a history of problems with opiods?”

“Not at all luv!” 2D said grinning at her as she seemed to grow as tall as the ceiling and then shrink down to the size of a hobbit.

She giggled at his Britishness. “Great, well I’ll have to take your word for it since you don’t have a doctor we can check in with for you. Anyway, here is your doggy bag with your paperwork and pills. Take 1 antibiotic a day and take up to 2 of the pain pills a day as needed. And sign this.” She held out some paperwork.

“As needed!” 2D agreed grinning and grabbing the bag and sloppily signing the paperwork. He drew a little happy face next to his name on the last page. 

The nurse took the signed paper and left smiling. “Okay, I’ll be right back with a wheelchair for you and then we can get you out of here.”

Once she was gone 2D put his pills in his jacket pocket and decided to take matters into his own hands and wobbled to the exit door of the recovery room. He struggled trying to push it when it clearly said pull and muttered, “Bloody ‘ell!” A nurse leaned over and pulled the door open for him. “Oh fanks!” He then walked into the doorway and tripped into the waiting room where Noodle was reading up about Ambush 300 Blackout Rifles in a hunting magazine. 

The nurse that had signed him out appeared behind him in the doorway with a wheelchair exclaiming, “I found him! You got away from me Mr. D! Are you okay!?”

“Fluffy eyed and bright tailed.” 2D said finding a dead fly on the floor and flicking it with his finger. 

Noodle came over and helped the nurse to lift him into the wheelchair. 2D did not help in this process as he was happy on the floor. Once they got 2D in the wheelchair, Noodle smiled at the nurse. “Thanks for taking care of him.”

The nurse smiled back, “Awww, he was a sweetheart, wouldn’t stop thanking everyone as he was going under… Just kept saying ‘Fanks, fanks, fanks.’ It was quite funny.”

2D started pawing at Noodle anxiously, “Little luv, we need to do a show, right here, right now, for all these people!!!” He waved his hand at a bunch of unhappy and in pain people waiting in the emergency room. “LOVE FOREVER!!! LOVE IS FREE!!!! LET'S TURN FOREVER!!! YEW AND ME!!!”

Noodle grimaced in pain at his terrible singing. “Toochi, maybe we can do that later...” She wheeled him out, as he sang to himself more quietly.

*** The Next Day ***

“Me facken face ‘urts.” 2D moaned on the bus, holding an ice pack to his face and cringing every time the bus jiggled on its way to the show that night.

Noodle handed him a glass of water and some Ibuprofen.

“This isn’t going ta’ ‘elp luv…” 2D said looking sadly at the pills, but he downed them anyway. “Akkkk! The cold water on my ole…”

Noodle rubbed his back and handed him some chicken soup, which he played with, with his spoon and pushed away saying, “I don’t feel like eatin…”

Their bus driver for the tour, Artie, a chain smoking, obese, chronically red faced man pulled them into a Loves gas station shouting back, "Everybody, out of the pool! Enjoy each having your own toilet to shit in." 

"You coming in Toochi?" Noodle asked.

"Naw luv, I don't want anyfing from there… I'm gonna lie down in my bunk…” He got up giving Noodle a little pat on the shoulder. “Actually, could yew get me a creme egg?" 2D said as he went off to his bunk.

"Sure." Noodle said, giving him a small smile and moving to the front of the bus to wait behind Artie as he exceedingly slowly shuffled out of the bus panting. 

"Yo, Muds, come stretch your legs." Russel said, getting behind Noodle.

"I get enough stretching with my sex swing." Murdoc shouted from his bedroom.

Noodle and Russel shared a head shake at Murdoc and waited as Artie finally managed to leave the bus letting Noodle and Russel get out into the warm northern USA air as they walked to the gas station plaza.

*** 

Once alone in his bunk 2D started smoking a cigarette and pulled out the pain pills he got the day before. He hadn’t taken them yesterday or shown them to Noodle. The pills were given to him after all, he didn’t need to share everything with her. It wasn’t like he was cheating on her or anything, he just hadn’t told her he had some pain pills. Hell, why was he even thinking he should tell her about them!? She would just take them away from him and not even consider letting him have any, without thinking about how much pain he was in.

It wasn’t like one of the tenets of being in a relationship was needing to tell your significant other every time you had pain pills! Noodle had Ibuprofens all the time and she never told him about it! Was it his fault that those pills didn’t work for him? He just needed something with more of a kick. AND they had a show tonight! He was never going to get through that shite on Ibuprofen! 

He slowly turned the bottle around, thoughtfully in his big hands. They were Percocets. Percocet wasn’t as fun of a word as Dilaudid. It would probably feel the same though… Or close enough as makes no matter. 

He took a deep sigh. Noodle wouldn’t like it, but he needed to get through the pain somehow and it wasn’t like he was going to take a bunch and overdose. He had promised he would overdose, and he would keep that promise! He hadn’t promised he wouldn’t take pills again. Had he? He couldn’t remember. Regardless, he was in a lot of pain. He would just take enough to make the pain go away. 

After all, he was better now and didn’t need to take the pills to be happy, he had his li'l luv. Noodle wouldn’t have to know he was taking a few pills for the pain and he could keep working. Everyone would be happy. Plus he could spend some time with his old friend, the Void. Not a full soiree mind you, just a pop in and ask how the kids are doing. He opened the bottle and snagging out a pill. He looked at it’s chocky whiteness in his hand and popped it in his mouth, swallowing it dry, excited to disassociate from time and space for a while.

***

For Noodle the first stop in the gas station was always the bathroom. Although they had a toilet on the bus, it was always the last ditch option. It was cramped, uncomfortable, often smelly and just the fact that they each knew they shared the same throne of sin made it less appealing than the spacious, bright, surprisingly clean and good smelling bathrooms at the plazas.

After the bathroom, Noodle went to the store check out, which was covered in Five Hour Energy bottles, Stacker pills and Sexual Enhancement pills with the tagline “ _ If she’s a screamer, you’ll go to jail!”  _ She vaguely wondered how many of any of these pills were going through Murdoc's system at any given time. Then she finally found the impulse buy candies and grabbed a Cadbury Creme Egg. She bought it from an acne ridden and sad looking teen girl wearing the perky Loves red and yellow hat.

Noodle then went off and found Russel wandering around in the store section, with its aisles of vehicle supplies, state souvenirs and packaged foods.

"Hey Baby Girl, our options here are Arby’s and/or Subway…" Russel said as they walked towards the food court.

"Well,” Noodle said, faining consideration of her options, “I have been having Subway for the past 15 days straight. Wouldn't want to break my streak." 

"Huh, I was really betting you would go for the Arby's this time.” Russel said with a chuckle. “So, been awhile since I had you to myself. You and D have been damn near inseparable.” They made their way to the back extremely long line of people trying to get food.

Noodle felt her face go red. “Yeah, except for him getting his tooth knocked out, it really has just been so fantastic. Being with him is just like every sappy love song I’ve ever heard. I finally get them. Even the really saccharin sweet ones that used to make me want to gag.” Noodle said with a smile, both her brain and heart felt like they had butterflies in them. “I just hope his tooth, or lack thereof, feels better soon.”

“Baby Girl, I’m really happy for you, and for him. The universe hit both of you with a very shitty lot and you both deserve to have a good time. I’m so proud of you for sticking it out with him and helping him.”

“Yeah! I am too! I can’t believe I ever questioned if I should! I mean everything is so perfect now!” Her brain was just so fuzzy with love. “Thanks for talking me into sticking it out with him all those times as Plastic Beach! I can’t believe I ever questioned being with him.”

“Yeah, look, I know you're on cloud nine with him, and I’m happy for you. Just, uhhh, remember, D is still D. You’ve known him for ages and you know his failings…”

“And I can cover for them! So he is a big, discombobulated goof! He is also so sweet, loving, fun loving, caring, cute…” Noodle said.

Russel pressed his lips together in a tight line. “And is an opiate addict, heavy smoker, has seven children running around out there and has masochist tendencies.”

Noodle frowned at Russel, “Toochi is clean from the pills, and he says he quit smoking after the tour… The children, I mean I don’t like that, but he is doing what he can for them and he is trying to do right by them and their mothers... As for his masochist behavior, he was just too fucked up on the pills to fight off Muds. Russ, I thought you just said you were happy for us…”

“I am Baby Girl, but that's just what you are, my Baby Girl. I know you haven’t had many long term relationships, and hell knows you haven’t seen any good long term relationships with the three of us. Look, I’m happy that both you and 2D found some love in this fucked up world, and you gotta hold onto that and treasure it while it lasts. Just don’t close off your eyes to the whole picture. He gets all hurt and damaged and you want to help him but remember he puts himself into bad situations in the first place. Two things can be true, 2D is a sweet guy AND an opiate addict. He is caring, AND he didn’t care enough to wear protection.”

“That was years ago, he learned from that.”

“I’m sure he did, but just look at the whole picture of him. People always say life is short, and it is when you're having a good time, but it can also be very long when you're having a bad time. Don’t forget the hell you went through with him to get him here.”

“I haven’t and that's what makes this relationship so great, I’ve seen him at his worst. Only up from here.” Noodle smiled confidently to show Russel all his worrying about her was unneeded. She loved Russel but sometimes he took his parental duties too far for her tastes. Especially now that she was a grown woman, she didn’t need a dad to look after her. Luckily they had finally made it to the counter to order their food, so they could quit talking about this uncomfortable subject.

***

Once Noodle and Russel had finally made it back to the bus they settled in for one more driving haul before getting to the venue for the night’s show. 2D was conked out in his bunk and Noodle hoped he would get some good rest before the show. He was in so much pain earlier, it would really affect his singing and that would piss off Murdoc.

7 hours later as the bus started to go through a series of elaborate turns while it navigated the parking lot of the venue, 2D shuffled awake. 

“Hey Toochi, we are here. How are you feeling? Do you need to sit this show out?” Noodle said coming over and putting her hand on his arm.

“Hey luv.” 2D said groggily. “The pill yew gave me, I do believe it’s working. I fink I can do the show. After all I wouldn’t want ta’ subject yew to Muds singing.”

Noodle giggled and 2D gave her their first good kiss since his tooth got knocked out and she gave him his creme egg. “Do you want another pill?”

“Sure, that will keep me going for the show.” 2D said giving her his gap toothed smile.

It was a rocking show full of 2D dancing, slapping audience members waiting hands and killing it with rocking vocals. As 2D turned around and winked at Noodle at the end of the concert, she really did feel like everything in the world was just so perfect. They had made it through the long dark night and could now flourish in their new lives. She had struggled with her man and gotten him through to the other side. 

***

Murdoc was wandering down a backstage hall, before a show, after having pounded down 4 different craft beers from the local town breweries when he saw 2D staring at a bunch of pictures of cute cats with inspirational quotes below them such as, “If you are not willing to learn, no one can help you.”, “Ask yourself if what you are doing today gets you closer to where you want to be tomorrow.”, “Nothing worth having comes easy.” and “Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” 

“Oi! Face ache! Spending some time away from your nagging bitch are you?” Murdoc got up into 2D’s face breathing heavily on him.

“Ello, Muds.” 2D said turning towards him dully, they were close enough to kiss.

“I’ll never understand why you like having relationships! Takes all the fun out of birds when you go and make a commitment.” Murdoc was sending spittle onto 2D’s face as he talked.

2D swayed a bit, “I don’t mind the commitment, but I wish Noods wouldn’t keep ‘oving around me asking if I’m okay efery minute…”

Murdoc smiled, “Nhuh, I’ve been noticing a certain vacant stare in your eyes recently” He stuck a finger in 2D’s forehead and spun back and forth as if trying to drill a hole. “It’s like your brains are moving a bit slower these days.” Murdoc was drooling on himself and wiped his hand across his face to clean himself off. “Snarrffff! Now, my Blue Bird, don’t go telling me you’re going and getting your kicks from someone else. That would break me ‘eart, y’know? Nhuh!”

2D shook his head from side to side. “I wouldn’t dream of it Muds! I was finking I should tell yew I needed a pick me up soon.”

“Good man, enough of all this silliness with,” Murdoc made quotation marks with his hands, “being clean! Your bloody fantastic just the way you are Blue Bird, don’t go changing!”

2D found himself smiling being able to talk to someone who got it. “Yeah, I won’t overdose again, I’m just taking a few. Get me through the day...”

“RRrrrrright you are!” Murdoc slapped him on the back and started to turn away.

2D put a hand on Murdoc’s shoulder. “Muds, don’t go telling Noods, she wouldn’t understand that ‘m better and I ‘ave it under control...” 

Murdoc looked at him in shock, “You think I would go telling on someone!?” 2D looked down at his hands as Murdoc continued, “Noodle thinks you shit gold, she wouldn’t notice if you started swallowing pills in front of her. That’s what love will do for you, make you stupid. Nhuh.”

***

Three weeks later Noodle was watching 2D’s ass as he sang his last song for the night and was slapping audience members hands over the bouncers at the front of the stage. 2D was looking pretty skinny these day. Probably all the energetic stage performances he had been doing but he was still eating and he wasn’t a skeleton so she put it to the back of her mind.

As the song ended he came up to Noodle and grabbed her hand and kissed it while pulling her forward with him for bows. 2D was also seeming a little worn down, probably since they were in the nitty gritty of the tour. He wasn’t as energetic or dancing as much as he used to but he was still putting on a good show. Really it was just the fact that he seemed totally drained and just wanted to sleep in between shows that was bothering her. Then again, she got tired from all the touring too and he was older than her, maybe it was just getting to him more but she missed her friend.

As they went off stage, Noodle handed her guitar to one of their roadies, and put her hand around 2D’s waist frowning to herself as her hand felt his boney hip. He really  _ was _ getting skinny…

They went to their after show party and after 2D spray painted out their logo on a free space of wall he grabbed some food. Noodle noticed he was taking a much smaller plate than he was earlier in the tour. “Toochi, you feeling okay? You're not grabbing much food…” 

“I’m fine luv, just trying to keep fit for my adoring public.” He grinned at her as he guided her to a dressing room. They ate and chatted about the show, 2D smoking a cigarette. The next day they would have a much needed day off from doing a show after having worked every night for 7 days. After they finished eating Noodle nuzzled her head into 2D’s neck, they hadn’t had a chance to be intimate for those 7 days and she was feeling lonely.

“Oh, is that right my li'l luv?” 2D asked moving back to look at her. She just looked at him wantingly with her big green eyes. “Let me go to the bathroom for a few and we’ll see what we can do, eh?”

Noodle found herself boredly sitting around for 15 minutes staring at her phone before 2D returned heaving a heavy sigh. Noodle asked, “You okay Toochi?” 

“Sure luv.” He gave her a smile and they started kissing each other. His mouth tasted like water with a hint of bitterness in it. Noodle found that weird, but was much more concerned with getting down to business. Noodle started to unzip 2D’s pants but he put his hand on hers. “Not tonight, my li'l luv. Long tour and all. Let me take care of yew.” 

“But Toochi, I would like to take care of you too! Plus we got flashed a lot tonight, that usually gives you something to work with...” 

“Naw luv, not tonight, I’ll take yew up on that some other time.” 2D winked at her as he leaned forward on her and started to run his hand up her leg and deeper into her person.

***

For their day off they needed to drive all day to get to the next venue, so everyone spent their day quietly. Murdoc was off in his room, doing Satan knows what. Russel was reading a book on the couch about finding peace within yourself, which was poignant considering his possessed brain. 2D was staring out the window watching the scenery pass by at the kitchen table. Noodle, who had just finished doing some stretching and as much karata practice as she could in the small 5 by 8 feet of empty space in the bus, came and sat next to 2D.

“How are you doing Toochi?” Noodle asked as she watched him staring out the window entranced.

2D didn’t take his eyes off the road. “It's so pretty out here, just so much space and nuffingness. I like the emptiness here.” 

Noodle put her head on his arm and nuzzled into him looking at the southern USA’s vast open plains that seemed to stretch on forever. “I’m enjoying this tour with you.” She whispered into his shoulder.

“I’m enjoying it too luv.” 2D said as he continued to gaze at the passing scenery.

Noodle picked up his hand and played with his fingers and eventually interlocked their hands together. 2D’s hand stayed limp the whole time. “Sure you're okay Toochi?”

“Yeah luv, I told yew so. Just a long tour.” Noodle wondered what was so damn interesting in that emptiness. “I’m giving it my all yew know.” 2D said monotonely.

“Yeah, you have been really great onstage!” Noodle said, giving him a shoulder nudge. “Everyone loves you, you’ve got more groupies than ever after the show. Muds is getting so jealous...” 2D just continued to look out the window. Noodle bit her lip and said. “Wanna watch a movie?”

“Sure luv.” 2D said uniformly.

“What do you want to watch?” Noodle felt a bit of hope pop in her chest.

“Whatever yew want.” 2D said in the same colorless way.

“We don’t have to watch a movie, if you don’t want to.” Noodle said, the hope popping out of existence.

“Whatever yew want.” 2D said, the dullness in his speech was infuriating to Noodle. “’m ‘appy, just being ‘ere wif yew.” He said in his most bland voice still looking out the window and Noodle felt a weird type of anxiety in her chest. She wanted him to look at her, to pay attention to her but all he wanted was to stare at the scenery. 

Noodle’s thoughts went south.  _ We have been together for awhile now… Maybe we are just getting over the honeymoon phase. Maybe from here on out Toochi just wouldn’t want to look at me, or talk to me, or call me pretty. Maybe we will just fuck occasionally, trying to make as little eye contact as possible, and call it a day. Maybe this was the beginning of the end… Or maybe it is a tough tour and Toochi is just tired. _

Noodle took a deep breath, “Ehh, I’m just gonna go read my Stephen King novel. You seem happy here anyway.”

“Okay, luv.” 2D said with his habitual flatness.

***

The next day as they were at their last stop before the show for the night they decided to go to a diner, attached to the truck stop, for lunch. All four band members crowded into a booth, Noodle and Russel on one side and 2D and Murdoc on the other.

A middle aged, matronly, woman with grey streaked blond hair came over to them and said in a heavy smoker’s, southern drawl said, “Hey sweethearts, I’m Donna and I will be your waitress, what can I get ya?”

Murdoc growled at the waitress, flicking out his tongue. “Meat Blaster, love. Extra... spicy… Nhuh. And get us all tea, English Breakfast, yeah?”

“Oh! You folks are English! Well, wait till I tell Trisha we have some real British people here! TRISHA! WE HAVE FANCY ENGLISH PEOPLE HERE!”

Russel sighed at Murdoc, “Filet o Fish Sandwich. I’m trying to lose some of the weight.” 

Noodle said, “I’ll have a stir fry, please.”

By this point another woman of similar age and shape to Donna, who must have been Trisha, came rushing over squealing. “Oh are you guys from England!?”

Murdoc smiled at her. “Yes we are, and we are part of the world famous band, Gorillaz! Aren't you two lovely little birds?”

Both women squealed in unison. Donna said, “I’ve never heard of that band before, do you do Country!? I love country, like Johnny Cash! Do you do music like that?”

“I can do whatever music you like love… Nhuhh.” Murdoc said.

Donna squealed again, “Oh your too much Mr. ….”

“Niccols. Murdoc Niccals, at your service. Nhuuuhhh”

“Murdoc, well, ain’t y’all just the sweetest! And what does your blue headed friend want?” Donna said, pointing her pen at 2D. “You're a skinny little thing, need some of our southern hospitality.”

“’m not very ‘ungry, just some toast please.” 2D said, giving her a small smile.

“Toochi!” Noodle said, “You skipped breakfast and you hardly ate anything at dinner last night. Come on, have something more than toast.”

Donna looked appalled at this. “No wonder you're a stick, I’ll get you a nice big breakfast, on the house since you're such nice people. Show yall some southern hospitality.”

“Fanks but really…” 2D said raising his hand in protest but Donna was already going off. “Noods, yew didn’t have ta do that. ’m just not ‘ungry. Probably have a cold or sumfing. Yew know I can’t eat much when ’m sick…”

Noodle put her hand on his arm. “I’m sorry but you do need to eat something. You need your strength for tonight…”

2D pulled away from her hand and crossed his arms over his chest and grabbed the bridge of his nose with his hand, lips pursed.

As they waited for their food Russel chastised Murdoc for being so flirty and then they started getting into an argument over whether or not Murdoc should share some of the groupies after the show.

2D continued to huff quietly in his corner and Noodle felt like she was being blocked out and losing her connection with him. What had she done!? Was she losing him or was it just what he said it was…That he was tired and overworked? Why did it feel wrong?

Donna came over with Trisha and carrying a lot of big plates of food. As they put down the food in front of everyone, including a large eggs, toast, bacon, home fries and scrapple monstrosity for 2D. 2D moaned at it. “Auuuuunnnn.”

Donna smiled at them all as she said “Eat up sweethearts!” 

As Donna and Trisha left Murdoc sighed, “What is it with wimmin wanting to feed skinny men?”

Russel sighed back, “When you're overweight no one wants to talk to you and then when you're skinny they just want to fatten you up. It is, fucking madness is what it is.”

Noodle nudged 2D’s plate, “Come on Toochi, try to eat something.”

Half an hour later 2D had managed to eat about a quarter of his plate when he gave up. Noodle smiled at him, “Awww, you did good Toochi.” She hugged him and kissed his cheek.

Donna came back saying, “You got some food in you!” She said nodding towards 2D who smiled weakly at her. “So who is up for some dessert?”

Murdoc smiled, “Are you on the menu?” He looked down her stockinged legs towards her sensible flats and took a shuddering breath in.

“Oh Mr. Niccols! You are too much!” Her voice was like gravel in a blender.

“If your going to leave me broken hearted love, then just leave the check.” Murdoc smiled at her.

Russel shook his head and started to get up. “Let's get out of here.” 

“‘M gonna go to the bathroom before we go. Meet yew guys in the van.” 2D said getting up and making a straight line to the bathroom with hurried steps. Once in the bathroom he ran to the stall and crouched down towards the white throne as his body gave a shivering spasm and he retched up everything he just ate.

Ten minutes later as he left the bathroom he saw Noodle waiting for him in front of the bathroom door. She smiled coming over to him, “You okay Toochi?” 

“Noods, yew shouldn’t a waited for me.” 2D said hoping his voice sounded less shaky than he felt.

“I wanted to.” Noodle said, putting her arm around his. That desperate feeling was rising in her chest again. “I think something is wrong, you don’t seem very happy with me…”

“Auuugggg, Noods, I keep telling yew, everyfing is fine. Just, please stop asking, I luv yew, I’m just tired. I’m not as young as yew, this touring is just wearing me out. This is what you gotta deal wif if you want ta be wif me.”

Noodle looked down at her hands. “I’m sorry Toochi. I don’t know why I’m so worried.”

“Oh, li'l luv.” 2D said looking at her and kissing her forehead. “I’m sorry, I know I’m not always there for yew. I just have a lot going on right now.”

“It's okay Toochi, this tour won’t be forever. When we are home we will make sure we have some good times.”

“Of course we will Noods, of course we will.” 2D squeezed her to him.

***

2D was coming out of the bathroom, having his pre show throw up, when the stage manager Laura passed him giving him a curt smile. “5 minutes. Get your scrawny ass onstage before I have to drag it there myself.”

“Right, I’ll be there.” 2D said, putting on a black leather jacket and walking into the backstage loading dock and nodding at Laura. As he walked forward he caught his hip on a table corner and started to trip, reaching out and grabbing a nearby speaker tower to keep himself from falling. “Oh fanks for catching me there, big guy…” 2D said, giving the speaker a friendly pat and wandering onstage. 

The show was going like every other show ever had, screaming fans and killer music. Half an hour in 2D was walking from one side of the stage to the other while singing and walked straight off the stage falling 8 feet to the floor. Luckily he was in 5 foot space inhabited solely by bouncers who kept the crowds off of him.

Russel, Murdoc and Noodle all stopped playing immediately. Noodle screamed out “Toochi!” and started to rush to the front of the stage but 2D started climbing the stairs at the front of the stage nonchalantly and flashed her a big grin. 

“’m fine luv! Better than fine, fantastic!” 2D looked off to the wings asking, “Can I get another mic?” A roadie quickly rushed out to supply 2D with a mic. 2D called out “1! 2! 3! 4!” and went right back into the song with the band. 

3 songs later 2D was looking pale. After finishing his 3rd song he looked out at the audience with a happy smile plastered on his face and swayed back and forth for a second. “I fink this is the end of the concert. Goodnight!” And with that he promptly fainted. There was one long second of dead silence while everyone in the venue stared at the man collapsed on the stage. Then lights got cut and the stage went dark as some canned music started to get pumped through the speakers. Noodle rushed to 2D along with several Roadies with flashlights on their head. They picked him up and rushed him off stage to the dressing room. Laura was yelling at someone to call the hospital. 

Noodle felt her insides seize with panic as she looked over 2D in the greenroom. He was ghastly pale and she noticed he had blood coming down his hand. She struggled to get his jacket off and gasped as she found a grisly scene. His forearm was bent at a sickening angle and he had bone sticking out of it with blood leaking all over. Shit how had he been performing with this…. 

“Look at the booone!” Murdoc said, leaning over Noodle.

Laura stared at 2D, looking pale herself. “FUCK! That doesn’t look good.”

Noodle quickly ripped off a tablecloth from one of the nearby tables and started to make a tourniquet on 2D’s arm. 

_ You're not going to die in my arms… _

Laura was shouting, “Can someone make a damn announcement that the concert is over!?”

_ There was only one way that he couldn’t have been in pain from that…  _

“DO YOU THINK HE CAN GO ONSTAGE RIGHT NOW!?” Laura shouted to a tech.

_ He wouldn’t do that, not after all they went through to get him clean…  _

Noodle felt a big hand on her shoulder, “It’s gonna be okay Baby Girl…”

_ All the sleeping… Losing weight… Not wanting to do anything… Growing distant from me…  _

Noodle finished tying the tourniquet with an extra strong jerk. She felt tears going down her face. Laura yelled, “Did anyone even call the hospital!?”

_ But he promised… _

_ He promised…. _

***

2D woke to the uncomfortably bright lights of a hospital room. He saw Noodle looking down at him. “Awww, my li'l luv, what ‘appened?” It was at this point he noticed she was livid.

“You promised.” She said looking down at him. How had she felt so much love and admiration for him. Looking at him disgusted her.

“Wot?” 2D tried to gather his brains together enough to process what she was saying.

“You promised you wouldn’t do your pills again…” Noodle said in barely a whisper.

“I... wot?” 2D shook himself and struggled to get to more of a sitting position. “I said I wouldn’t overdose! I haven’t! Have I?” 2D said trying to grasp his chest questioningly. “OW!!! Fack, my arm!?” 2D exclaimed, finally noticing his messed up limb.

“You lied.” Noodle said she didn’t want to get distracted with anymore of his poor me bullshit.

“But li'l luv... I was in pain…” 2D went to grasp her hand with his good one.

“You're going to be in a lot more pain now. I hope you can feel it.” Noodle said between gritted teeth and shaking off his hand.

“Noods, what’s wrong!?” 2D felt like someone was stabbing him in the heart, she didn't want him to touch her! He felt tears going down his face. This couldn’t be happening, Noodle and him loved each other!

“You're wrong! You're a lying piece of shit. Everyone said you're broken and I didn't want to believe them but they were right! I thought you cared about me…" Noodle said, she didn’t want to cry, but she was. This made her even angrier at 2D.

“I do! I luv yew!” 2D sitting up and trying to come closer to Noodle.

Noodle took a step back from the bed, “No you don’t! If you did love me, you wouldn’t have hurt me like this!”

“This isn’t that bad! I would never ‘urt yew! You're my li'l luv! It’s not like I cheated on yew or anyfing!” 2D said, he felt desperation rising in his chest along with feeling that nothing was real.

“You did! You cheated on me with those pills! I wish it was with another woman! That I could understand, that I could compete with! I can’t compete with pure bliss! I can’t compete with your  _ Void _ !” Noodle spat out the words. She wished him pain, she wanted him to feel the hurt she felt and more.

“Luv, it's not like that! 2D blubbered trying to get closer to her, IV’s in his arms pulling uncomfortably at him.

“It is 2D. It is... I promised I wouldn’t let you die in my arms and I’m going to keep that promise. I’m out. I hope you're happy with the Void. I hope it’s worth it for you.” Noodle started to walk for the door with angry steps.

2D screamed out to her, “But Noods! My li'l luv!!!”

Noodle turned around and looked at him, “Don’t call me that.” 

“I---I---I--- luv yew!” 2D was wailing at the edge of his bed, all sorts of IV, heart and blood pressure monitors beeping behind him.

Noodle shook her head in disgust at him and left as a nurse came hurrying in to deal with his machines.

“I luv yew…” 2D whispered as he felt himself fall into the abyss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How could he!? He promised!? That blue bastard!


	17. Love Tester

1 week later 2D in a cast and a sling but he was well enough to continue performing. The shows they missed they had rescheduled for the end of the USA secession of the tour. 

2D stepped onto the bus, being greeted by the driver Artie, “Finally done fucking around and we can make some money? I’ve been on retainer and I’m not happy about it!”

2D gave a tight smile and nod to Artie, “Sorry ‘bout that.” and walked into the bus. The doors closed behind him and they were off for their 6 hour drive to the show that night.

Russel was on the couch reading and gave 2D a nod and a sad smile, “Hey D, how you doing?” Russel had visited him a few times in the hospital but they hadn’t talked much, especially when 2D asked about Noodle, Russel would only say she was upset and he didn’t want to talk about it.

“‘M okay.” 2D’s voice wavered and he started quietly crying. Just being here and seeing the disappointment in Russels eyes set him off again. In not much more than a whisper he asked, “Where is Noodle?” 

Russel pointed a thumb to the sleeping bunks, Noodle’s curtain was up. “ She took some sleeping pills an hour ago so she wouldn’t have to hear you when you came in.”

2D felt a new stab in his heart, she couldn't even handle knowing he existed. He collapsed on the couch, to the left of Russel, head hanging over his knees, “I facked up Russ! I really facked up!”

Russel nodded, “Yes you did D. Yes you did…”

Murdoc saunted out of his room and came to sit down on 2D’s left side. “2D, finally decided to join us again? Nhuh.”

2D made a little sob, spittle falling to the floor, “I don’t know what ta do! I ‘urt ‘er and now she doesn’t want ta be wif me!”

Russel sighed, “You could try to do right by her and get clean. Do right by all of us for that matter, we all depend on you for this tour…”

Murdoc put his clammy arm around 2D’s shoulder, “Nhuh, yeah, we do all depend on you, my little Blue Bird, and that's why we need you to hold it together, take some pills. You’ll forget about Noodle and the pain in your face, and your arm, y’know? Everything will be hunky dory! Yeah?”

Russel shook his head, “D, Noodle doesn’t want to be with you, but she still cares about you. You’ll only hurt her more if you continue taking the pills.”

2D was shaking with his quiet sobs. “My li'l luv doesn’t care about me, she made that clear...”

Russel huffed, “She does, but she is _really_ mad at you.”

Murdoc growled, “Birds! What have I been saying! They will always mess you up! Satan knows what crawled up her ass but you're not going to get her back. Y’know?”

Russel said, “You be nice about our Baby Girl, Muds!” Murdoc shrugged at him half-apologetically.

2D gave a shaky sigh, “I guess it’s for the best…. I never was a good match for her… Being older ‘n’ all. She can be wif someone who would really be good for her. Who deserves her...”

Murdoc shook 2D excitedly, “Yeah, and _you_ can move on! We’re going to do a fan-facking-tastic show tonight and the orgy tonight will be magnificent!!!!”

2D sobbed, “I just want me pills…”

***

The bus shuddered to a stop as Artie turned off the engine calling back, “Sometimes people pay the bus driver tips…” No one responded. Huffing in disappointment Artie struggled out of the bus.

2D who had been swinging back and forth for the past six hours between crippling loss and feelings of acceptance now found his eyes were stuck on Noodle’s curtained off bed with bated breath. Russel patted him on the back. “Leave her alone D. She’s not going to leave her bunk until we leave.”

2D frowned. “I don’t want ta make ‘er uncomfortable…”

Russel nodded to himself, “Well, that ship has sailed. Come on.” He got up and gently pushed 2D to move with him. 2D didn’t see Noodle at all before the show. He waited around the stage for her to come and set her guitar levels and do a sound check but instead of her coming and doing it one of their roadies did it for her.

“That's unprofessional!” 2D muttered as the roadie worked with Laura to set the guitar’s sound levels. 

Russel shook his head at him, “That's a lot of bullshit coming from your cracker ass.”

2D looked down at his feet. “Yew’re right… I just… Wish she was ‘ere….”

Russel sighed thinking about how long the rest of the tour was going to be with these two.

2D was hanging out on a spinny chair in the wings waiting for the pre-show band, “Diamonds in the Smut featuring Papa Boner,” to finish. He was swishing himself back and forth quickly, still desperately looking for Noodle. “Ello my little Blue Bird.” Murdoc had snuck up behind him, without him hearing over the cacophony of the pre-show band, causing him to jump in his seat. “I don’t think I saw you having any dinner, don't want you to go hungry. Nhuh.” Murdoc held out a hand with a single Dilaudid in the center of his sweaty palm.

2D looked at it, he really did want it, but he also really did want to see Noodle with a clear head… But then again SHE didn’t want to see him… It probably was best if he had something to take the edge off the pain in his heart so he could focus on the show. He took the pill and swallowed it dry. “Fanks, Muds.”

“Course, 2-Dents, always look after my friends… y’know? Nhuh…” Murdoc slapped 2D on the back and wandered off.

“Diamonds in the Smut” were taking their bows and thanking the audience when 2D saw her. On the other side of the stage was Noodle! He always thought she was beautiful, but since they had been spending so much time together in the past, he rarely saw her from far away, and her vistage from across the stage was stunning. His heart started ramming around in his chest. 

He wanted to call out to her and run over to her but either she didn’t see him or she was working her hardest not to see him. She was saying something to a roadie on the other side of the stage and she was laughing. Really laughing, not the fake one she did to be polite, this was the one she shared with 2D more times than he could count. It felt like a dagger being stuck in his chest watching this.

The stage went black allowing the band to get into position. 2D was just frozen in his spot until Murdoc hit him in the back of the head with his hand, “Move it Faceache. _It’s showtime_!!!” 

2D stumbled onto the stage and found his spot, trying to make eye contact with Noodle, but she just kept her eyes down on her guitar or off towards the wings. As the show went on 2D tried to concentrate on performing, but between his arm being in a sling and him not being able to stop himself from sneaking glances at Noodle he knew he wasn’t doing great. The Dilaudid wasn’t helping either, as it wasn’t enough for the Void and it only seemed to make him stop caring about the show instead of about Noodle.

As the show ended and everyone took their bows he noticed that Noodle was gone even before he was off stage. He followed the flow of people to the greenroom and finally saw Noodle. He wanted to talk to her, at least to have her acknowledge his existence. Something! Anything! 

She was talking to that roadie again. He was a very tall man, probably a good 3 inches taller than 2D, in his late 20’s with shoulder length blonde hair, blue eyes, and a heavily pockmarked face. He was sturdily built, with thick arms, thick legs and a very thick waist, dressed in the roadie livery, pure black with an assortment of multi tools and flashlights hanging from his belt. Noodle was giggling at him as she sipped a beer. 2D wanted to go see her, to butt-in, but she had broken up with him. Didn’t he decide that this was the best for her? For her to find someone better? Not that this bloke was necessarily better… Hell how long had she even known him!? He could have any number of crippling problems, like maybe he was into a weird fetish… like… like… FEET. Fack, no, that was him.

2D sat himself down on an uncomfortable couch and watched Noodle and the chap from the side of his eye as a bunch of groupies came in. 4 girls surrounded 2D cooing and squealing. He looked them over giving them an absentminded smile, then looked back at Noodle. She is putting a bon bon in that wanker’s mouth! The bastard was smiling at her hungrily and licking his lips. 2D felt equal parts rage and sadness.

Two could play this game. He looked over the girls in front of him. “Ello luvs! Come on over and meet the D!” He motioned them towards himself. A girl sat on either side of him and one on each knee, all a titter. 2D pointed to the food spread on the table in front of him without really looking at what he was pointing at and asked one of the girls on his knee, nearest the table, “Hey, luv, can you feed me one of those?” 

Then 2D found his gaze again going to Noodle, who was right up on the roadie, leaving no room for the holy spirit, and dancing her fingers up his chest. 2D's mouth dropped open in shock and horror seeing _his_ Noodle with this man. The girl on 2D’s knee, who had broken open a banana, decided to stick it in 2D's open mouth.

Noodle grabbed the roadie's hand and started to lead him out of the greenroom. Finally, and deliberately she looked at 2D, his heart fluttered as her smiling face turned to him and then her smile went sour and slightly confused as she saw the girl on his lap feeding him a banana. She gazed at him for a long moment to show her displeasure and then looked back at her boy toy smiling and walking out of the room. 

***

20 minutes later in a dressing room, while 2D had one of the women giving him oral to his very Dilaudid dick, he heard Noodle scream. It was the loudest piercing scream he had ever heard and it was followed by two more within the minute and a deeply guttural “Yes! Yes! YEEEESSSSS!!!!!!”Had she ever screamed like that wif me? He started crying. 

The lady on his prick looked up at him with disgust saying, “I’m very pretty, I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with you. I’m probably the prettiest woman who has ever sucked you off. You’re fucken broken!” She picked up her bag and left in a huff as 2D started to take great heaving sobs.

2D needed another Dilaudid and for that he needed to find Murdoc. He stumbled out of the dressing room, his face was covered in tears and snot. He was pretty sure the next dressing room had Noodle and he didn’t want to see her having the time of her life with someone else. He heard a chorus of female grunts and groans 2 doors over and he in his sorrow didn’t even think to knock before opening it. 

Laura and three other ladies were all in various states of undress and pleasure. Laura looked towards him, eyes huge and angry. She came storming towards him, large breasts flapping from side to side like a pendulum. “What the fuck is wrong with you?! Could you just stop being the worst!? Your doing a shitty job onstage, your having stupid accidents and sometimes I think your just plain brain dead! GET OUT OF HERE!” She slammed the door on him.

This just gave 2D more fuel to his self hatred fire. This whole tour depended on him doing his job and he was just fucking up so badly! He felt his heart racing and everything around him felt wobbly, he NEEDED his pills! If he didn’t get them, he didn’t know what would happen, he felt like he was going to just die any moment, he felt himself shaking and sobbing so much. 

He started talking to himself at, at first quietly muttering under his breath but soon he was screaming at the top of his lungs, “Muds… Muds… Muds! MUDS!!!” He started banging his fists on all the doors in the hallway, ignoring the shooting pains from his broken arm. Some doors were locked and he just got yelled at. Some doors were unlocked and his fists hitting them just opened them giving him views of various angry people having sex. 

Finally at the last door at the end of the hall he started pounding it and Murdoc appeared, naked, in front of a gaggle of people in the room. “Shut the fack up Faceache!!!” 

2D collapsed on his knees sobbing and shaking in front of Murdoc. “Phuh, phuh, SNORFFFFF, _Please_ ….”

Murdoc sighed, “This is facking pathetic, even for you. Nhuh…” He grabbed his pants off the floor and got out a bottle. He pulled out 2 Dilaudids and shoved them into 2D’s shaking hands. “Go! _Get_! Have some time with your true love. Nhuh.” Murdoc was shooing 2D away with his hands and turning back to his party, “SOOOO where were we!?”

2D gulped down his Dilaudids. He knew this would work, this would get him to the Void. Give him peace, if just for a while. He slowly shuffled around, still on his knees and saw every door way down the hall was open with people staring at him. Some looked repulsed, some looked sad, some looked angry. Russel was there, shaking his head, eyes closed. Then he saw Noodle staring at him, there was no love in her eyes, nor anger or sadness, just an empty stare at him, her man of the evening was trying to hold back a laugh. 

2D wanted to die, he really did, right there. Anything so he didn’t have to walk down this hall of shame but since his body didn’t want to do him the solid of keeling over he quickly got up and ran down the hall as fast as he could, brushing past everyone and he didn’t stop until he got to the empty bus. He went into his little cubby hole bed, curtains closed and cried until the Void claimed him.

***

When he woke up the next morning they were already driving as he gingerly got out of his bed looking around. Russel was up at the breakfast table with two bowls of oatmeal, staring at 2D. 2D slowly and shyly walked forward saying, “Uhhh, hey Russ.”

“Hello D.” Russ said, still staring at him with an unreadable expression.

2D uncomfortably rubbed the back of his neck and sat down at the table opposite Russel.

They shared a long moment of silence as Russel stares 2D over and 2D stared at a dent in the table. Then Russel pointed at the bowl of oatmeal in front of 2D. “Eat this.”

“‘M not very ---” 

“I didn’t ask if you were. I said eat it. If you want to kill yourself after this tour that’s your own business, but right now there are a lot of people that need you to keep your shit together. If you don’t care about anyone else here at least do it for Noodle.”

2D slowly picked up his spoon and had a mouthful. Russel took a deep sigh, he had won round 1. 2D swallowed and said, “I embarrassed myself last night…” 

“You embarrass yourself everyday you’ve taken those pills.”

“Noods saw….” 2D looked towards her curtained off bed.

“She did, but don’t worry, she’s not here.” Russel said and 2D’s heart stopped and he stared at Russel in horror. Russel continued, “She is in the roadie’s bus, she didn’t want to have to see your pathetic ass working to kill itself everyday.”

“Awwww…. Noods…” 2D said banging his head down into the kitchen table. 

Russel sighed heavily. “Stop pretending you care so much about her.”

“WOT!? I do care about ‘er! More than anyfing else in my entire life!” 2D yelled at Russel, slamming his hands on the table and cringing in pain over his broken arm. "Fack!!!"

Russel started to laugh at him. “That's a load of shit D and you know it. First of all what you really love is your pills. You chose those over Noodle and you continue to everyday.”

2D shook his head in disbelief at where he was in his life. “I didn’t fink this would ‘appen when I took em!” 

“Of course you didn’t, you thought you could have everything and nothing bad would ever happen to you and you're still doing it!”

“But my little love left me! What else do I ‘ave if I don’t ave me pills!?”

“You are self centered and didn’t think the rules of the universe apply to you. You still think you're special. You made such a scene of yourself last night you finally got her attention. Are you proud of that? Everyone can see how you're still trying to get her attention, instead of letting her go and just being happy for her. If you really loved her you would let her go. She isn’t yours.”

“But---”

“You are filled with so many excuses for yourself. You think that your the only one who has ever been in pain before.” Russel started mocking him, “Oh, I need me pills! Me ‘eadaches! Owwwie! I ‘urt me self again….” Russel took a deep breath “D… Everyone is in pain… Everyone… You're not special… And right now Noodle is in pain. Maybe for once you should try to help her pain instead of expecting her to come take away yours.”

2D felt like he had been smacked across the face harder than Murdoc ever hit him. “Yew’re… Right… I don’t know why I’ve been so ‘urtful to ‘er….”

“Well make a change, stop being so much of a creeper on her and let her have her fun with Aaron…” Russel said, sighing and relaxing into his chair a little.

2D felt a blossom of rage open up in his chest, the roadie had a name! No, this is what yew’re NOT supposed ta do. Just be happy for her. 2D took a deep sigh. “I’ll do better. Fanks Russ.”

Russel pointed sternly at 2D’s oatmeal again while saying, “Eat, and if you must keep taking your pills, at least don’t do it in front of her like that show you put on last night. 

2D nodded sadly to himself and struggled to eat more of his oatmeal.

*** 

2D gave Noodle space for the next several weeks, spending most of his time before the show in the void, coming out of it enough to do the show and then hopping right back in after the show. He didn’t want girls, he didn’t want food, he didn’t want movies, he didn’t want games, barring Noodle, he only wanted his pills.

He knew his health was tanking. Sometimes Russel would sit with him until he managed to swallow some food but that rarely stayed down. Other than that he wasn’t eating and he felt so weak and shaky all the time. 

He was sitting on a high stool onstage while doing his sound check, his still healing arm, now just in a cast instead of a sling, was wrapped around his grumbling and unhappy middle. His other hand slowly and shakily smoking a cigarette. The lights onstage made him feel warm, and that was nice as he seemed to have a near constant chill. He was watching the smoke come of his jiggling kill stick when he heard Noodle giggling.

She appeared smiling and being carried on Aaron’s shoulders onto the stage. He helped her dismount from his shoulders as she said, “Thank you, my gallant steed!”

Aaron grabbed her guitar and getting on one knee bowed down to her like he was presenting a sword. “Here is your weapon, my Lady, Noodle-Doodle!”

Noodle grasped the guitar in her hand, “Thank you kind Ser!”

2D looked away from them and back to his cigarette. They were so sickeningly sweet together he wanted to barf, or maybe that was just his last round of pills… _I didn’t mind when it was us being that cute…_

Laura called over the speakers in her sassiest of voices, “Aaron, do you think you can plug in the stage monitors, like I asked half an hour ago?”

Aaron gave a sharp two fingered salute to the audience's empty dark depths, “Righty-O captain, my captain!” He then winked at Noodle before going off.

2D found he was close enough to talk to Noodle without yelling for the first time in ages. He glanced up at her and saw she was glancing at him but quickly trying to look away when she saw he saw her. He found he was smiling, and needed to say something positive and nice to her. “Hey Noodle, yew two are cute togefer!”

She gave him a tight smile and small nod as she tuned her guitar. “Aaron is nice.”

2D nodded his head and tapped his cigarette, dropping some ash to the stage floor. “‘M ‘appy for yew. Yew deserve it.” He glanced at her and flashed her his most heartfelt smile.

“Thanks…” Noodle was tuning the same string.

Before 2D could think about what he was saying, words were coming out of his mouth. “I miss yew. I mean, not romantically! Well, obviously I miss yew that way… But… I just miss yew… as a friend… We used ta ‘ave good times…”

Noodle sighed and said in just above a whisper, “I miss that too.”

2D looked at her with his big eyes, “Do yew… Fink… Maybe… we could be friends?”

Noodle took a deeper sigh, “You stopped being my friend when you started to just want to sit in the void all day. Remember all those times I wanted to do something with you and you just wanted me to shut up so you could be off in space?”

2D looked down and bit his lip. “I was so stupid. I wish I could take it back.”

Noodle shook her head. “I don’t want to be friends with someone who is hurting themselves all the time. You’re wasting away and it's bad enough I have to watch it, I'm not going to let you drag me in as you kill yourself.”

2D nodded to himself as he lifted his shaking hand to take another drag on his cigarette. He felt his eye’s getting moist and he had to make a quiet sniffle while wiping his eyes with the heel of his hand, “Fanks for trying to ‘elp me all those times. Yew’re a sweet ‘eart and I’m glad yew’re ‘appy...” 

Noodle suddenly looked incredibly angry. “I am _not_ happy and if you really appreciated my help you would try to get clean!”

2D chuckled to himself somewhat manically, “Wot’s the point luv?”

Noodle shook her head at him again, getting that look of disgust she had been giving him so much recently and walked as far away from him as her plugged in guitar would let her. 2D muttering to himself in a combination between a cry and a laugh, “Wot’s the point???”

***

The concert went forward 2D had his allotted 1 pill before the show, so the rough edges were blunted over but he could still somewhat function, but he was just getting so weak. 

They were in their 6th song, El Manana.

 **“** **_Don't stop the buck when it comes”_ **

His stomach was churning.

**_“It's the dawn, you'll see”_ **

His hands were shaking.

**_“Money won't get there”_ **

He didn’t want to be here. 

**_“Ten years passed tonight”_ **

He didn’t want to be anywhere.

**_“You'll flee”_ **

He was clinging to his mic stand for support.

**_“If you do that”_ **

2D then slowly shuffled over to a speaker tower and leaned on it with his back, trying to play it off as an artistic choice instead of a stability one.

**_“I'll be some”_ **

He slowly started to melt down the speaker tower. 

**_“To find you”_ **

He eventually just gave up and sat on the edge of the stage with a bit of a stumble all while continuing to sing. 

**_“I saw that day”_ **

Murdoc came over and gave him a good kick in the ribs to get him to stand up again. 2D struggled with standing and again went back to slowly slipping down the side of a speaker.

**_“Lost my mind”_ **

2D decided to sing the same line again.

**_“Lost my mind”_ **

And again!

**_“Lost my mind”_ **

And why not a bunch more times!

**_“Lost my mind”_ **

**_“Lost my mind”_ **

The other band members all shared worried glances with each other. 

**_“Lost my mind”_ **

**_“Lost my mind”_ **

Aaron came out with a high barstool and put it in the center of the stage with a huff and a shake of his head. 

**_“Lord, I'll find”_ **

2D seemed to get jogged out of whatever loop he was in and gave Aaron a grateful nod. 

**_“Maybe in time”_ **

2D struggled to sit on the chair, slipping off several times before finally managing to get on.

**_“You'll want to be mine”_ **

He stayed on his chair for the rest of the show, trying his hardest not to pass out.

***

Laura was sitting at a small bar with Murdoc, Noodle and Russel while 2D was off in the van with the Void. Laura sighed, “So yesterday’s show was shit. What are we going to do about it?”

Murdoc gave a little shrug, “I won’t give him a pill right before the show, y’know?”

Noodle huffed crossing her arms, “Or maybe you could just not give him any pills at all…”

Russel shook his head, “Now really isn’t the time for D to go cold turkey...”

Noodle rounded on him angrily, “Well when is Russel? How much longer do you think he’s going to last?”

Russel gave her a small, sad smile, “Baby Girl, I don’t know. There are no good options here.”

Laura lifted up her hands, “Look, 2D is too much of a wild card right now to rely on. I think we need to consider doing something else, do you have any other people that can sing for him?”

The three band members looked at her in shock. Murdoc got it together the quickest, “Faceache is the best singer for our songs, no one could do better than him…”

Laura countered, “Well I could have done better than him last night. In fact it has been a while since he has been good…”

Noodle started to say something to defend 2D but then thought better of it, he really had been sucking lately.

Russel said quietly, “He would be so sad if we replaced him…”

Laura shook her head, “He already is a fucking sad sack of shit. Do you really think it can get worse?”

Noodle growled thinking about him overdosing, “2D is trying his best, and yes, it can get worse than what it is now!”

Laura nodded, “Okay, I’m sorry, that was out of line for me to say. Look I know you all care about him, but think about the shows and your career. You need to do what is best for everyone, not just him. He is making his own bed.”

Murdoc said, “One of the guest artists can cover for him no problem, y’know… But, I want that to be the last option. Let’s just dub him if he isn’t too spazzed out. Yeah…”

Laura nodded, “I am happy with that.”

They sat in silence until Russel spoke up, “He needs to go to rehab.”

Noodle nodded sadly in agreement. “That would probably be the best thing for him, not that it would actually fix him.”

Russel smiled at her sadly, “You can’t fix people, you can only try to heal the wounds and deal with the scars.”

***

Noodle was leaning up against the mountain of flesh that was Aaron on the roadies tour bus as they were flying down the highway to a show. She had been absentmindedly playing tetris on her phone. She wished that Aaron liked to game so she could play something with him but he didn’t care for gaming. He said it was a waste of time to play them instead of doing something more worthwhile like reading. He was right, gaming was a waste of time, but wasting time was one of life's greatest joys. Everyone's story always ended up the same way with death, so why not enjoy the bit in the middle best you could? Plus it would have given them something to do together other then sex.

Aaron ruffled her hair with his big hand and spoke with his southern drawl. “You okay Noodle-Doodle? You’ve been quiet since you came back from that lunch meeting.”

She smiled at her boyfriend, “Yeah, I’m doing fine Aaron, just wondering if 2D can hold it together until the end of the tour.”

Aaron rolled his eyes, “Well at least we have some back up plans if he can’t…” 

Brian, a tech who looked like Jesus, sat down next to Noodle and said in just over a whisper, “Do you know something about how 2D is doing? Any insider knowledge? We have a pool going on when he is going to overdose and/or die!”

Noodle stared at Brian in disbelief, “Why would you be betting on when he is going to die!?”

Aaron spoke up, “Dude, if she was going to tell someone she would tell me!”

Noodle rounded on Aaron, “What the hell!?”

Aaron shrugged at her. “I got a hundred riding on it being within the next week.”

Noodle sat up so she could look at Aaron, “Why would you be betting on him dying! And within the next week!?”

Aaron shrugged at her again, “He looks like death warmed over. You don’t think he’s doing well either!”

Noodle was shaking her head in shock, “I know, but he, doesn't look that---- He is my friend, I can't imagine him dying…"

Aaron snorted, “You haven’t talked to him in ages. You broke up with him BECAUSE he was killing himself, and now you're surprised that he is killing himself…”

Noodle looked at her hands, “I guess I thought he would stop…” 

Aaron was trying not to laugh,“You thought he would stop killing himself because you left him…?”

Noodle was getting frustrated. “Well, no… But…. I don’t know! I just, I hope he doesn’t OD again…”

Aaron rolled his eyes, “I think he is working on dying whether he OD’s or not…”

Noodle’s chest felt tight, “I just wish I could help him!” 

Aaron shook his head sighing at her, “You did and he just went right back to it! Let. Him. Go. He has a death wish and you have a messiah complex and you both love to feed off of each other.”

Noodle felt super angry, whatever 2D was or wasn’t he was a person that she liked and cared about and addictions are a sticky situation. “Addicts relapse a lot and sometimes they can still get clean in the end!”

Brian chuckled, “Yeah they all get clean when they're dead.”

Noodle stared angrily at Brian, “I don’t think we should give up on him.”

Aaron countered, “You already did, you broke up with him because you gave up on him.”

Noodle shook her head, “I didn’t give up on him! I just didn’t want to…. To deal with him!”

Brian nodded to himself, “Sounds like you gave up on him.”

Noodle noticed she was crying. “I didn’t want him to die in my hands!”

Aaron nodded, “And he isn’t going to.”

Brian chuckled, “He is going to die on the floor, all alone.”

Noodle’s heart fell, “You’re right! I did give up on him!”

Aaron sighed, “Awww, Noodle-Doodle. You did everything you could for him! He promised he wouldn’t get back on the pills and he did. He lied to you and his problems aren’t your fault! Just focus on yourself.” He tried to wrap Noodle in a hug but she wasn't having it and shied away from him.

Noodle gasped, “But he IS my best friend and I dumped him because I wanted him to feel as hurt as I was but he is already one big walking wound. It was stupid to think I could hurt him anymore than he is already hurting!"

Aaron was shaking his head at her in shock. “But if you stayed with him, you would clean him up again and he would just continue the cycle.”

Noodle nodded, “He probably would, but we haven’t tried everything. He got clean and we just tried to forget it ever happened, and move on without addressing it. He is an addict, and he always will be. Him using again hit me so hard because we were pretending he wasn’t an addict. We could have tried to get him help instead of just shoving his bad parts under the rug and pretending everything was fine so we could dance on top of the rug.”

Aaron saw his relationship cracking before his eyes, “But what about you not wanting to see him hurt himself!”

Noodle felt oddly calm as everything seemed to be clicking together in her brain, “I’m watching that anyway! And even if I didn’t see it, he would still be killing himself and that hurts too! Just knowing him is going to hurt me whether I’m with him or not! He is a mess, but I love him. His addiction is a large part of him, and we need to address it, but he is not his addiction.

“It’s a pretty big fucking part…” Aaron said.

“Yeah, it is. And he might end up dead in my arms one day, and that would be the most terrible thing I can think of, but I think it would hurt more not being with him every other day of his life. I know it’s childish to think this, but we haven’t tried everything yet... Maybe he will try to get clean again. Maybe it won’t last forever, but maybe we can have some good times in between."

“Do you really think some good times are worth a bunch of bad ones?”

Noodle shrugged. “Maybe in the end I will break up with him again, but I need to know I tried everything before I give up. There are no right or wrong answers here everything is grey and in the end of the day it's up to what both of us want. Toochi isn’t perfect and he never will be. No one is, but I don’t love anyone like I love him. I was angry and I broke up with him to try and hurt him. He is a mess, and that isn’t going to change by magic, it might never change, but we half assed trying so we should full ass it before we give up. 

Noodle sighed collecting her thoughts, “If I was addicted to something I’m sure I would do all sorts of messed up stuff and I know he would be in my corner, holding my hand while I got through it. Whatever hell he is going through I don’t want him to go through it without his best friend. I want to be with him!” 

Brian muttered, “Sounds like someone is a rebound…”

_POP!!!_

The van suddenly shuddered to the side and was making a terrible flopping noise. Dan, the roadie tour bus driver, yelled out, “MOTHER FUCKING SON OF A GOD DAMN CUNT BITCH! WE ARE GOING TO BE LATE YOU MOTHER FUCKERS!” as he slowly and calmly pulled over to deal with the popped tire.

*** 

The musician’s bus had stopped at the venue in Texas for the day and the bus was empty except for 2D who was just coming out of the Void. 

He had decided today, he didn’t want to. He didn’t want to do the show. He didn’t want to see Muds. He didn’t want to see Noodle being in love with someone else. He didn’t want his life.

After groggily getting out of bed he went and rummaged through Murdoc’s room, checking all Murdoc’s clothes and drawers trying to find some pain pills. Murdoc had been keeping the pills with him just for this very occasion, so 2D couldn’t find anything. 2D wandered out of the bus and looked around, to his right a bunch of techs were loading into the theatre, to his left a shady alley with some strung out looking people. 2D sighed and went left.

***

4 hours later 2D was sitting on a park bench shivering while the sun was setting. The sun was giving a good show, being all pink and orange with fluffy clouds. It felt like a good final view. 2D could remember sitting and cuddling with Noodle watching sunsets like this on Plastic Beach. He wanted to cry, but he had no more tears to cry. He felt empty. 

His phone was next to him and was lighting up showing Laura was trying to call him. He had gotten numerous calls and texts from Laura, Murdoc and Russel in the last two hours as they tried to find him for the show. He had turned off his GPS so they couldn’t track him.

He looked at the bottle that was in his hands. He had gotten it about 3 and a half hours ago and then meandered down to this park, sat on the bench and stared at the bottle. There was enough in there to do it. 

_When you overdosed the other times Noodle came and saved you. Maybe she will come again this time._

That was stupid, he over stayed his welcome with Noodle and she got tired of him. Everyone was tired of him, and none more so than himself. What he wouldn’t give to stop being with himself. 

Murdoc sold his soul to the Devil, and 2D always knew his soul belonged to the Void. Well, he should stop tip toeing around the main event, might as well get it over with.

He downed the bottle.


	18. Carousel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The bold song lines in the beginning of this chapter are from this song - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KwCryq5qtyk  
> I know using a song is cheesy but the song really inspired me for this section of the song and I recommend listening to it if you are so inclined...
> 
> Thanks for reading, as always, comments are a red hot injection of inspiration to my soul. Thank you for reading, kudos and comments:D

Noodle was sitting by herself at the kitchen table on the bus, while the tire got fixed. Everyone around her was very aware that she had just decided to break up with Aaron and get back together with 2D and it was awkward. She wanted to tell him that she was sorry and that she still loved him, but she didn’t want to do that over the phone, especially with the whole tech crew listening. She felt a bunch of nervous energy and couldn’t stop tapping her foot or slapping her hands together. Aaron was over on the couch and fuming. She had fucked up and she was sorry and embarrassed she involved Aaron in all of this but to stick it out with him when she really didn’t want to, was a disservice to him as well as herself.

Finally an hour later the bus got its act together and they set off again. When they finally made it to the theatre, Noodle rushed into the venue with Laura, who was about to bust a gasket about being an hour behind schedule. 

As Laura started yelling at people Noodle spotted Russel and ran over to him saying, “Hey Russel, where is 2D.”

Russel looked at her and shrugged sadly, “He’s in the bus in a drugged out haze. Murdoc has been timing giving him his pills so he should come out of it in time for the show. This has been going on for the past month, didn’t you notice?”

Noodle bit her lip, “No, I was trying not to notice what was happening to him…”

Russel ruffled her hair, “Baby Girl are you okay?”

Noodle looked at him and wanted to cry, “Russel, I think I made a mistake breaking up with 2D.”

Russel pursed his lips and sighed, he had a feeling this would happen, so much fucking drama… “I don’t think it was a mistake to break up with him, it was a choice. There are no good options here, just pick one and see how it goes.”

“But the option I picked isn’t making me happy and I don’t think it’s making Toochi happy either!”

“Well do you want things to just go back to the way they were before?”

“No, I want Toochi to get clean and healthy, but that is more of an ongoing process then I wanted to believe…”

Russel nodded, “So what are you going to do this time?”

Noodle took a deep sigh, “I thought that if we just loved each other that would be enough, like love conquers all… I thought we were both special and it would just work out okay, but maybe we need to try other things, get help from other people. People have been dealing with addiction since the dawn of time and there are structures in place to help. I don’t know what will work, maybe drugs, therapy, group meetings… I don’t know! But I want to try all of those things and more if it means we have a chance to work it out… To be together.”

Russel gave her a warm smile. “I love you Baby Girl and I’m behind you in whatever you do. Look you can try this with D, I don’t know how it will go, but know you can also stop trying again too. Nothing is set in stone.”

“I know, and I don’t know how this is going to turn out, but I love him, I always have. He is… a person… I know this isn’t going to be easy, I always did… Maybe it's going to be harder than I thought, but I want to try.”

“Trying is all we can do.” Russel sighed, “You know I care about D too. He has a lot of good in him as well as a lot of bad.”

Noodle smiled at Russel, “I guess I should wait for him to get up, I don’t want to talk to him when he is too drugged up to listen…”

***

**_Half asleep I hear a voice_ **

2D’s thoughts were dancing around him, swirling in and out. He watched some ducks and geese in the creek in front of him. Most of them were swimming down the stream in couples. 

_ Couples are nice. It’s nice to have someone on your team, to watch your back. Look after you and that you could look after. Love was nice. It was the one thing that made this damn terrible planet worthwhile. _

He had loved his parents, he had loved Paula and he loved Noodle, but there was one very important person he didn’t love, and that was himself.

**_Is it only in my mind_ **

**_Or is it someone calling me someone I failed and left behind_ **

Noodle was calling him, but he didn’t see his phone. He couldn’t have done anything even if he had seen it. He was taking the fast train to the eternal darkness now all he could do was think about his life. 

**_To work it out I let them in_ **

**_All the good guys and the bad guys that I've been_ **

That's all he ever wanted was to get away from himself. He was never anything special and he never really cared so long as he could get his pills and just enjoy the emptiness. He never really sat with his pain or thought about it before, whenever it started to come up he just let it wail in his head in a wordless, meaningless, scream until he got a pain pill to smother it. No self reflection required. Simple and easy.

**_All the devils that disturbed me_ **

Things took a dark turn at Plastic Beach. If Murdoc hadn’t captured him he could have been happy. Well except for all the brain damage and headaches that he got from the car crashing into his head, so maybe if he just never met Murdoc… But then again his relationship with pills started with his mom, so maybe if she never gave him his first pill… But she never would have done that if not for that damn tree! The real villain of 2D’s whole life was the tree! 

_ Problem solved, case closed, fack all trees! _

**_And the angels that defeated them somehow_ **

2D had caring, if oblivious parents. They supported him and loved him. Their love was nice, but he knew where he was in their life, and it was pretty damn low. They had so many other things they were worried about and in the end so long as he was fed, clothed and not whining too much he was fine. But they did teach him how to love and for that he was thankful. 

He loved Paula Cracker, she had been his everything, just the one bright ray of light in his dark life but then she went and cheated on him. He couldn’t even comprehend how someone who loved him could do that. 

Maybe that was how Noodle felt when he started taking his pills again. How could he love her if he would willingly do something so heinous to her? I’m sorry, my li'l luv, I really am! 

**_Come together in me now_ **

In the end he really just wanted to stop hurting in all the different ways he hurt, and that's what his pills did. When he had them everything was okay. So... so...  _ okay _ and that was beautiful. Nothing, not even Noodle could give him that. That feeling of security and wellbeing and it was so easy. Sure he had great times with Noodle, but that required effort, work, it didn’t just happen like with a pill. It did get a little empty after a while, like eating cake instead of having a real meal, but then again he always did prefer the treats to the substance. It was all fun and games until you got a canker.

**_Face to face I greet the cast_ **

His thoughts were getting harder to grasp. It was coming, the Void. He was sorry he wasn’t enough, he was sorry he failed his parents, Russel, Murdoc, the whole touring company, Noodle and most of all himself. He was sorry, but he just wasn’t made for this world.

**_Set in silence we begin_ **

2D suddenly became ensconced in a stench that was a mixture of body odor, shit and decay, and a little ways down the path he saw a 6’5” tall, dirty, homeless man with long ratty blond hair in a stained brown trench coat wandered towards him, finally stopping in front of 2D and looking at him pensively. Resisting the urge to gag from the smell 2D looked at the man in the eyes and whispered the first thing that came into his drug addled brains, “Are yew God?”

The tall man nodded to himself and in a gravelly voice said, “Yes.. Yes, I am!”

A small gangly man yelled out of a car in the nearby parking lot, “He needs some milk!” 

The man in front of 2D smiled at him tenderly… lovingly... saying “Bless you, my child.” Then proceeded to kick 2D in the nuts as hard as humanly possible.

2D had one pure moment of painless shock and wonder at what had just happened. Then he felt like someone was taking a sledgehammer to his balls, gut, and head all at once as the breath got knocked out of him and as he crumpled forward onto the ground. Suddenly he was vomiting up a mass of white onto the Earth.

As he was shaking on the ground in pain he felt two strong arms grip his biceps and pull him up. The smelly man held him close whispering to him, “Let me take you to the kingdom of GOD!” With that they set off, the homeless man dragging 2D down the park path towards a large hospital complex. 

The last thing 2D remembered was seeing the bright hospital doors opening up and the man holding him up saying “Welcome to the Pearly Gates!”

***

During the preshow Noodle was waiting, somewhat impatiently on a couch in the greenroom, going over for the 100th time, what she wanted to say to 2D and wishing he would get up already. She saw Laura come in, phone up to her ear, with Russel and Murdoc following close behind her all 3 of them seeming agitated. Noodle sat up saying, “What's wrong?”

Laura, all business, stopped her call and said, “2D is usually here by now. We checked the bus and he isn’t there. We’ve been calling him repeatedly and he isn’t picking up. Have you seen him?

Noodle felt the muscles in her body tense, “No!” She started to call him on her phone.

Russel sighed, “What are we going to do?”

Laura looked at Murdoc saying, “That's your call. Do you want to cancel the show or do you want to go forward with someone else?”

For once Murdoc looked old and tired heaving a sigh, “The guest artists will sing.”

Noodle couldn’t get through to 2D and turned around yelling, “We have to find him!”

Murdoc looked at her almost sadly, “We can’t just all fall apart because he isn’t here y’know?

Laura looked at Noodle kindly, “I’ll get all the non-essential techs to go looking for him and we will call the police, if he can be found they will find him.”

Noodle was crying, “Make sure they have Narcan on them…”

Russel put his arm on her shoulder, “It’s going to be okay Baby Girl. He probably just got lost somewhere, you know D is always getting lost.”

Noodle tried to stop crying, he was probably fine… Maybe he was just in the toilet… 

A roadie stuck his head in the greenroom, “I just checked all the stalls, men and women, he isn’t there!”

Noodle tasted blood in her mouth and realised that she was biting her lip too hard. Russel gently shook her, “Come on Baby Girl, let’s get through this show and then they will have found 2D and everything will be fine!”

***

Noodle felt like she was on autopilot the whole show and at the end she ran up to Laura, “Any news!?”

Laura looked at her while still having a phone to her ear. “We found his cellphone in a park. The police don’t want to do anything until it has been at least 24 hours. We have been contacting the local hospitals asking about him but no one with his name has come in anywhere.”

Noodle shook her head, “Ask for Stuart Pot! Damn, maybe he didn’t have his ID on him… He doesn’t carry it often…”

Laura sighed, “Then he is a John Doe, and yes, they have plenty of those at the hospital and they aren't going to tell me about them. We are going to keep looking but this tour is also still going. The show tonight went fine. We can finish the tour, we have four more weeks to go…”

Noodle looked horrified, “But we need to find him!”

Laura put her hands on Noodle’s shoulders, “And we are looking, and will continue to. But the police can do a much better job than any of us. We will find him and bring him home.”

Russel snuck up behind them and put a hand on Noodle’s shoulder, she turned around and cried into him. “Where is Toochi!?”

Russel squeezed her shoulder, “I don’t know Baby Girl, but he will be found.”

She started really sobbing, “But it might be in a body bag…”

Russel gently shook her, “And it might not! But if it is, that isn’t your fault and you can’t help him now.”

Noodle softly hit Russel in the chest with her fist as she started to wail into his shirt. “You don’t know that! He could be overdosing right now and I’m not doing anything!”

“Shhhh…” Russel was stroking her head, “It’s going to be okay, they will find him.”

***

At the hospital, 2D was quickly put on a bed, shot up with some Narcan and forced to drink a bunch of charcoal water while being asked a lot of questions that all ended up boiling down to, did you try to commite suicide? The answer, of course, was yes. 

This led to him having all his personal items and clothes taken and nurses checking in on him every 15 minutes while he dealt with his heart pounding around in his chest like a dying engine and what felt like one long constant crippling panic attack. 

Every nurse that came in was nice, kind and comforting, but he wanted someone he knew, someone familiar to be with him and he felt lonely as well as sick. 

Someone gave him some ice chips and crackers which he ate and then threw back up into his cup. Then he started hitting himself in the head with his hands and clawing his face while crying until he was restrained by two very large nurses who brought 2D to a padded room with what looked like an imposing dentist chair that they strapped him into while he struggled with all his pitifully weak strength. Once 2D tired himself out struggling against the restraints he started, tearfully, begged for pain medication which he did not receive. 

A doctor came in and put 2D on some anti nausea medication which they gave him intravenously so he couldn’t throw it up. Then he was given some more crackers, an SSRI and sleeping medication to knock him out for the night

The next morning after being deemed stable from the overdose he was first of all asked if he would like to let anyone know he was in the hospital and for his personal identification information. He gave his name and other pertinent information and then thought about whether he should let anyone know he was here. He thought about Murdoc and Russel, he had already let them down enough and he wasn’t in any shape to perform so what was the point of reaching out to them? And Noodle, he didn’t want to drag her into his train wreck so he decided he didn’t want anyone to know he was here. 

More than anything he was ashamed. Somehow he hadn’t died overdosing for the third time in his life in one of the most bizarre happenstances he could think of. He couldn’t even manage to just kill himself, somehow the universe seemed bent on not letting him, even though he didn’t deserve that honor. He wished he could kick that homeless man in the nuts for saving his life. 

He felt so weak, sick and devastated, but he was tired of fighting, too tired to kill himself, he just wanted to coast. He was good at coasting, letting someone else take the rains and he was in the perfect place to do that, just for a bit anyway… Maybe the hospital would be better at leading him than Murdoc or even Noodle. It was nice and calm compared to touring. It would give him a second just to sit, think, and be. 

He got wheeled to the psych ward. There he was put in a very empty room, pale green room with 2 beds, both with itchy salmon pink blankets and only one hard pillow. As a nurse helped him shuffle into the stiff and septic smelling bed and a new doctor appeared and asked him if he wanted to kill himself. 2D sighed, feeling clammy and anxious, “I wish I was dead, but I don’t want ta kill myself at the moment…” The doctor nodded and wrote something down and informed 2D that he was being treated for his suicide, anorexia and withdrawal. The withdrawal wouldn’t be enough to keep him in here but it would be for the best that he get clean in a lockdown situation anyway. He would be staying for awhile so he should get comfortable. 

2D nodded, strangly feeling happy that he was being told he needed to be here, then asked the thing he had been desperate to ask for since he got here, “Can I have some fags?”

The doctor smiled at him, “This is a smoke free facility,” while turning around and leaving. 2D leaned back feeling a kind of dull acceptance.  _ Huh, that figures… _

Well he was going to get clean again. He had been through it before, and this would suck just as much as it ever did. Probably worse since he didn’t have Noodle, but if he was going to kill himself anyway, why not try getting clean before he did the deed. Feeling this suicidal just made him feel like there was nothing left to lose, why not try the crazy stupid idea of going clean again, if it didn’t work he would just kill himself and if it did work… Maybe… Maybe life could be worth living...

5 days passed and he got clean. It hurt like hell. He screamed in pain in his room. He felt terrible. He shook, he shivered and he wanted to die, every damn day. He was lonely and sad, but also out of his old life. 

The hospital was sterile and depressing but no one hit him, no one yelled at him or called him names. No one relied on him and every time he was told to do something it was a simple easy goal, like go here, eat this, watch this. He was trapped in his old life for so long he forgot there were other ways to live. All the nurses were nice and smiled at him as they checked up on him every 15 minutes and he really liked the group therapy. 

Everyone around him was just as fucked up as he was, some of the other people had done truly horrendous things he would have never even dreamed of, like attempted murder, and other people were having panic attacks over the silliest things, like not eating only 3 cheerios per spoon full of milk. It all gave him a badly needed perspective he never got when he was just wrapped up between his pills, work and bandmates.

After 5 days, while still in the depths of his withdrawal a nurse started asking him about his plans. “So do you have a home?”

2D thought about it. Did he? Sure he was financially secure from the performances he did over his life, but he had just been living with the band. Did he want to go back to that? Did they want him back? “No…”

The nurse nodded and looked at him, “Any family? Friends?” 

“I can get a place to live, I don’t need anyone…” 2D said looking at his shaking fingers in his lap.

The nurse smiled at him patiently, “Your recovery will work better if you have someone. A recovery network. You don’t have any friends? Siblings? Parents?”

2D sighed, he didn’t want to go to his parents, but he wanted to go to his friends less. “I can go to my parents…”

The nurse nodded happily, “Do they live near here?” 

2D shook his head, “No, they are in England.”

The nurse made a cringy face, “Well you should take some time today and call them and set up some transport to be with them. We also want to send your info over to a general practitioner and a physiatrist…”

2D nodded sadly to himself. He didn’t want to go back home, it felt like giving up. But then again, why not try? If it went badly he could always kill himself later, right? Nothing left to lose, might as well try it. 

After dinner 2D went to the phone near the nurses office and slowly dialed his parents number, it was ringing for a while and he was sure it was about to go to voicemail when his mum picked up, “Ello! This is Rachel!”

2D suddenly felt flooded with emotion as he gasped into the phone tightly in his hand, knuckles going white. “Mum, it's me, Stuart… I… I… need help…”

“Luv, whats wrong!?” 

“I’m in a hospital in America.” 2D blurted out in sob.

“My good lord! WHY!?” Rachel said in her most ear bursting squeal.

2D said between sobs, “I’ve… I’ve just messed up… I messed up my life… Thats all…. Just me life… I’m going to be released from the 'ospital and I was hoping, maybe I could come live with yew…”

“Of course! My little Stewie! We would love to have yew!”

2D hated this, he didn’t want to live with them, under their wing. But then again he didn’t want to live by himself. And he had committed to trying to get clean, part of that was to live in a place with support and to get doctors and therapists and all that shite.

“Fanks Mum. I’ll be there in three days.” The phone was getting all wet from his tears.

“Always luv! We can’t wait to see yew, just like old times.” Rachel sounded almost giddy hearing he was coming back to her.

2D felt repelled by how happy she sounded and wanted to vomit from stress, “I’ve got to go, goodbye…” He quickly hung up before she could ask him any questions. He held onto the nurses counter and rocked himself a bit until he felt in control enough to go to his bed.

***. 

2D was released several days later, and put on the same clothes, now washed, he had on when he came in and took a cab to the airport. He didn’t want to go be with his parents, but he didn’t want to go back to his band, filled with people he just facked over, and if he didn’t stick to the plan he would just end up in an alley again… He paid for his ticket and by the end of the day found he was in front of his parents' row house.

As he walked up the front steps he reminded himself: If this doesn’t work out, I can always kill meself, but maybe, maybe fings will be okay... Just keep trying until fings are unbearable... 

Before he could knock on the door his parents came out and wrapped him in a hug. He hadn’t wanted to cry in front of them but found he couldn’t stop. They pulled him in the building and he sat down on their immaculate white couch that was covered with plastic so it wouldn’t get stained.

“Stewie, how are yew!?” His mom asked, shoving a peppermint tea in his hands and putting biscuits on the coffee table.

2D gave a laughing cry at the question, “’m still ‘ere…”

David put a hand on 2D’s back, “Wot ‘appened son?”

2D found his hands were shaking and he was spilling hot tea on his lap hissing in pain.

Rachel tutted, "Awww it's alright luv, that's why we have the cover on the couch…

2D sighed and put his tea down on the coffee table. “I broke my promise ta yew,” he said looking at his mum. “I broke my promise ta Noodle. She left me and then I tried ta kill myself. A schizophrenic ‘omeless man stopped me from overdosing and then put me in the hospital. I got clean and now… ’m ‘ere.”

Rachel stared at him in horror, crossed herself and said, “God Bless America!”

David shook his head, “Oh son… How could yew do that! She was such a pretty little fing…”

2D started to hyperventilate, “I don’t know! I facked up!”

Rachel pursed her lips and scolded, “Language!”

2D shook his head, “Sorry mum…”

David sighed, “What about that band?”

2D bit his lip and tried to calm himself, damn he could use a pill, or atleast a fag… Nothing was as stressful as parents. “I just left them. They probably all ‘ate me now… Or fink ’m dead…”

David nodded his head, happy to be dealing with facts instead of feelings, “Well I can get yew a job at the fair again!”

2D nodded, “Fanks, and I can pay yew…”

Rachel piped up, “Nonsense, we are happy to have our little Stewie wif us!”

2D felt a combination of appreciation and anger towards his parents. “Can I borrow the computer? I need to find a doctor and a therapist for meself…”

Rachel looked him over in surprise, “Why would yew need a therapist!?”

“Ummm, because ‘m a depressed, opioid addict and I tried ta kill meself several times…”

Rachel stared at him with genuine wonder, “But yew were never depressed before…”

2D was surprised this was an issue. “I was too stoned ta be depressed…”

Rachel seemed to be getting angry for some reason, “Yew weren’t on drugs when yew were a teen! I know that, I kept a very clean ‘ouse wif yew!”

2D couldn’t believe this, “Wot do yew call the pain pills!?”

Rachel talked to him as if he was a small child, “Stewie, those were never a problem for yew! Yew only had ‘em occasionally.”

2D pressed his lips together, he was getting angry. “Well they became a problem…” 

“Yew shouldn’t say yewr depressed or an addict, that puts yew in the wrong ‘eadspace. Doctors love labelin’ people to make ‘em feel like they need help when they don’t. Yew’re fine luv!”

2D sighed, he couldn’t argue with this. He put a hand on his head and rubbed, he felt a migraine coming on. “I’ve got to go to bed, it's been a long day…”

Rachel bounced up, “Do yew have a ‘eadache? Would yew like a Vicodin, luv?”

David piped up, “I’ve go some fags for yew too!” he pulled a pack out of his pants.

2D wanted to laugh at the hilarity of the situation. “Fanks, but I fink I’m going to just go ta bed.” He grabbed the bowl of biscuits and tea and wandered off to his room. 

“Have a good night son!” David called after him.

“Were so ‘appy yewr ‘ere!” Rachel exclaimed. 2D found himself thinking,  _ I’m not _ .

His bedroom, which was still in the same condition he left it in almost a decade and a half earlier. Tons of spray painted art, some fun instruments he made with his dad, some football posters. The floor was covered in a dark green rug that had a bunch of dead flies on it. He went over to his made bed and sank into it, while munching on biscuits and drinking his tea. This all made sense, this is what the therapists had said was an enabling situation. Maybe that was why he fell into that relationship so easily with Murdoc.

The doctors had said he needed support from friends and family, but this was the wrong type of support. Damn he could just go down stairs and find the pill cabinet… I should leave and go find a hotel… But if he left he would run into a bunch of people he could get pills from… No, I can do this. In the morning I will get a doctor and a therapist and keep going. If it got really bad I could take the pills, but see how bad it can get before doing that.

***

A month later he wasn’t doing great, but he was surviving. He was seeing his doctor, he was taking his depression pills, he was seeing his therapist, he was going to his meetings. He thought to himself every day; _If it gets really bad, I can take a pill and/or kill meself, but it isn’t that bad yet._

Since getting off the opiates and cigarettes he had been dealing with near constant hunger and he was up 15 pounds in a month which just put him in the low end of the healthy weight range. He had also gotten a hacking cough as his lungs tried to recover from the years of smoking abuse.

He was working at the fair, operating the bumper cars and was next to a guy named Bob, who was selling Funnel Cake. Bob also went on at length about the healing properties of Shrooms. On his day off, 2D decided to try some and after eating the bitter little bastards he then proceeded to find a mirror and look at himself. Really look at himself. 

When he was on opiates he found looking at the mirror to be just that, taking in his superficial features. When he was sober he couldn't bare to look at himself in the mirror, all he saw was a lying piece of shit that hurt everyone he ever cared about. Now looking at the mirror with his psilocybin altered, mind everything felt clear and painful and he was angry that the bastard in the mirror had ruined his life.

2D was given a good lot in life. He had a relatively healthy body, he had talent, he had passions and he had, had his li'l luv, Noodle. Instead of treasuring all of that he had just been pissing it all away. He looked at that bastard in the mirror who had fucked him over all these years. He could have been happy but instead he made himself suffer by making bad decisions over and over again. 

He was his own greatest enemy, but instead of wanting to cry about it he wanted to do something! He hit the mirror with his fist screaming at himself as glass shattering around his fist. He looked at the cuts, vaguely hoping they would scar and leave him with a visible memory.

For the first time in his life, 2D wanted to fight that bastard in his head instead of getting beaten up by him. For now he had his plan of attack, he needed to keep on track, listen to his therapist, listen to his therapy group and take things one day at a time.


	19. Petting Zoo

One slow day while taking a Funnel Cake break, which had replaced his smoking break, and sitting at a picnic table, 2D was absently gazing over the crowd when he thought he saw a familiar large brown shape. He scanned the crowd again and saw 2 white glowing eyes looking at him. 

2D wanted to get up and go greet his old friend, but he also wanted to hide. In the end he just kinda sat and stared as Russel who hurried over limping. Smiling down at him Russel said, “Hey, D.”

“Hey Russ! How's it going?” 2D looked up quickly giving a small smile then back down embarrassed.

Russel sat next to 2D with a wince and said, “Could be better if you had gotten in touch with us to know you were alive…”

2D bit his lip, still not wanting to make eye contact, “Yew fought I was dead? Guess that makes sense, wif me overdosing in the past ‘n’ all…”

Russel looked him over. “What the hell happened to you man?”

2D was playing with the funnel cake sugar making elaborate designs, “I, uh, decided ta kill me self, overdosing. But a 'omeless man saved me and brought me ta the ‘ospital.”

Russel put a hand on 2D's shoulder,“D… I’m glad you are a live…”

“I got clean!” 2D said looking up at Russel for the first time, proudly, “They ‘elped me get off the pills ‘n’ I also got of the fags!”

Russel grinned at him and clapped him on the back giving him a friendly shake, “That's great D! I’m so happy for you!”

“The ‘ospital said I should be wif family or summfink, so I came back ‘ome, ta be wif me P’n’M’. I’ve been going ta meetings and stuff, it’s ‘ard, but I’m not going to use ta day!”

Russel leaned in and hugged him, “I’m so happy for you man!” For the first time since getting clean 2D felt proud of himself. The people in the group meetings and the therapists he saw all would say how he should be proud of himself, but everyone else in his life either didn’t know or thought it was a waste of time and he had no problems. He was so happy someone who knew him was actually acknowledging that he had struggled and managed to do something in his life and, baring the healthcare system, he had done it himself. When Russel let him go 2D saw Russel was a little glassy eyed.

“Fanks, Russ! How did the rest of the tour go… I’m sorry I dropped out wif out letting anyone know… It was selfish.” 2D looked down again in shame.

Russel looked at 2D as seriously as he could, “D, I’m sorry we kept pushing you. You needed an intervention and time off to help yourself ages ago and we just kept making you work. It was selfish of us to not let you leave and get help. We did okay, whatever guest artists we had for the day helped us cover, Damon Albern even came in for a bit, course Murdoc hated him but we did okay. Course none of them were as good as you, but we made it. Mostly…”

2D bit his lip and quietly asked, “‘Ow is Noods?”

Russel sighed, “That's what I came here for, after the last show of the USA tour our bus driver Artie had a heart attack while driving.”

“Wot!?” 2D remembered that Russel seemed to have been limping and looking him over he saw he had several cuts on his face and arms.

“Yeah, he managed to spin the bus out into traffic and a truck T boned us. Caused a 3 car pile up and 2 people in the cars died… I was at the kitchen table and broke my leg. Murdoc was in his room and by the power of Satan just managed to get a few bruises. But Baby Girl, she was in the living room when this happened. The impact broke several ribs, messed up her knee, punctured her lung, and gave her a concussion.”

2D couldn't believe what he was hearing. His li'l luv was all broken up! He started absent mindedly patting down his pockets trying to find some cigarettes that weren’t there. “Why was she on the band bus!?”

“The day you left she broke up with Aaron and started living in our bus again.”

2D laughed at the hilarity of the bad timing and at the shock of hearing Noodle was hurt, “Of course, she did…”

Russel pursed his lips, “She thinks you're dead. We have you listed as a missing person and we called all the hospitals in the area but no one would tell us if you were there…”

“I asked them ta keep me being there confidential… Didn’t want ta deal wif anyfing…” 2D said avoiding eye contact and finding an old ride token in his pocket that he brought out and started to worry with. “But Noods! Is she okay? Where is she?”

“She was released from the hospital and we had her flown to our home here. She's pretty messed up but she is okay. I’m looking after her.” 

“That’s good! Awww she must ‘ate this, being cooped up and not able ta do nuffing. She was always impatient just being sick for a day or two…”

“Mostly she is just depressed. She misses you. I didn’t tell her that I thought you might be alive, didn’t want to raise her hopes until I saw for myself.”

2D looked up from the token he had been twirling, “She misses me?”

Russel gave a small chuckle, “I told you she cared about you, she never stopped caring, just other stuff got in the way, mostly your addictions. I know it would really brighten up her life if you came back.”

2D’s vision was blurring, “She still wants ta see me…”

“She would love to see you. She has been heart broken.” 2D started to really cry at this. “Do you want to come back to your fucked up family, D?”

2D nodded and sniffled as he wiped his nose with his sleeve, “Fanks for finding me Russ.”

***

Several hours later 2D was in front of Noodle’s door at the bands house. He took a deep breath and looked down at the tray he had with some homemade chicken soup Russel made, some pretty wild flowers 2D picked on the way over and a box of chocolates. Russel was looking down the hallway at him giving him a thumbs up. 

2D took a deep breath and worked to balance the tray and open the door as quietly as he could. Noodle was deep in sleep and didn’t stir. 2D quietly came in, closing the door with his leg and put the tray down on the bedside table and took in Noodle. 

Most of her was under a warm blanket, but what he saw of her was pale and her breathing was shallow. She had a bunch of cuts on her face that were all healing and a large brownish yellow bruise on her cheek bone. Her one hand was peeking out of her blanket and it was holding the necklace he had given her at the fair. His heart hurt as he looked at her, she was so busted and beautiful.

He quietly sat on the edge of the bed and lightly started petting her fine, silky, dark purple hair. She slowly came to and opened her sleepy crusted eyes to look at 2D. She blinked a couple times as recognition slowly came to her and she whispered, “Am I dead?”

2D chuckled and felt his eyes getting hot with tears as he brushed her hair behind her ear, “Naw luv, we’re still in this mortal coil.”

Noodle started to cry and whispering, “Toochi! Toochi, you're alive!” She struggled to sit up a bit and 2D helped get her into a sitting position while she pawed at his chest and made small panting gasps. She was wearing an old shirt of his that said “Feeling bad!” 

2D gathered up Noodles little arms and swaddled her with his big gangly ones, smelling her sweet ginger smell and rubbing his chin on the top of her head and making her head wet with his tears. She was returning the favor, making his chest wet with her own as he said, “I missed yew so much,” and before he could stop himself, he said, “my li'l luv.”

All this emotion was too much for Noodle’s messed up ribs and lungs and she started to take shuddering and painful pants in. 2D was worried he was breaking his li'l luv and quickly let go of her, “Are yew okay!? Do I need ta get Russ?”

Noodle shook her head trying to grab a pillow before 2D grabbed it for her and put it behind her back. She grasped his large paw with her small one interlocking their fingers not wanting to miss touching him for even a second and smiling at him until she got her breath back and whispered, “I thought you were dead!”

2D squeezed her hand and looked at her adoringly, “I tried me best luv, but ‘M still ‘ere!” 

Noodle shuffled closer towards 2D, “Toochi, why didn’t you tell us! I was so worried…”

2D sighed, “I didn’t want ta drag yew down into what I was going through… I wanted yew ta just be 'appy and I wasn't good for yew."

Noodle had so much she wanted to say and her damn ribs and lung were making her stop all the time to just try and catch her breath. “Toochi, I need to tell you something --- I made a mistake leaving you. --- You're my favorite person and I missed you so much! --- I gave up on you and I shouldn’t have. --- I hate the drugs and what they do to you. --- But so long as you want to try to get clean again. --- I want to be with you! --- I love you!”

2D couldn’t stop crying tears of joy as he leaned over and wiped a tear off her face, while she nuzzled into his hand. “My li'l luv, I love you and I’m sorry I put yew threw all that… I really am. It was selfish of me and I know I ‘urt yew.” His hand was doing its cigarette pocket search and again could only come up with the token, which he took out and started to worry it with the hand not holding Noodle. Noodle looked at the token with surprise that it wasn't a cigarette. “But let me tell yew how God saved me!”

Noodle’s face fell, “You got into religion… I guess if it helps you I am happy for you...”

2D shook his head in surprise, “Wot? Fack no! I was on a park bench overdosing and a ‘omeless man who said he was God, kicked me in the balls so I threw up me pills and then ‘e took me ta the 'ospital!”

Noodle started laughing and crying in pain at the same time. “Really!?”

“Honest truff that is!” 2D said wishing she could laugh with him without the pain. “I went in there and they ‘elped me get clean. And the bloody bastards wouldn’t even let me smoke! It was a hell of a week…”

Noodle stared at him with her beautiful green eyes biting her lip, not wanting to dare to hope. “You're clean?”

2D put on his proudest face, “I’m clean today! ’ve been going ta therapy and group. They say yew have ta take it each day at a time, especially when it gets really bad. So I just have ta focus on staying clean today.” 2D looked down at the fair token he had been playing with and held it up for Noodle to see, “I’ve been clean for just over a month now… This can be me 30 day chip!” He grinned proudly at her.

Noodle put her hand up to her mouth as she started to cry again, “This is too good to be true.”

2D smiled sadly rubbing her hand with his thumb. “Naw it isn’t luv. It’s been a shite ton of ‘urt ta get here. It probably will be a shite ton more ‘urt in the future too. Let’s just ‘preciate ‘aving a moment that isn’t terrible… yeah?”

Noodle looked at him seriously, “I’m with you. I’m not going to leave you again, so long as you keep trying, I’ll stay with you. I am sorry I gave up on you...”

2D smiled shyly at her giving her his best puppy dog eyes. “Yew want ta be a couple again?”

Noodle laughed at her silly blue boy, “Yes, of course!” 2D heart leapt and he wanted to cry with joy.

They leaned in and gently kissed each other, each trying to say hello again, I missed you and I love you with their mouths as everything else in the world disappeared. When they finally broke Noodle found her cheeks were hurting from all the smiling and she whispered, “You don’t smell like cigarettes.”

2D grinned at her, "I can go up stairs wif out getting winded!" Leaning into her ear he whispered, "The sex is going ta be fantastic!"

Noodle bit her lip and grinned, "Oh Toochi, I missed you!!!"

2D bit his lip and looked down at the blanket, "It didn't sound like yew missed me on tour…"

Noodle made a sad pout, "I am sorry Toochi, I was angry at you and wanted to hurt you. I should not have done that…"

2D shook his head "Naw, I deserved it love, I cheated on you first wif the pills… I am sorry and I 'ope yew can forgive me someday. But, I also 'ope I can give yew a good time too..."

Noodle giggled, "Awww, you worried about that Toochi?"

2D shrugged feigning disinterest, "Yew seemed pretty 'appy wif that other bloke…"

Noodle smiled, "I tried concentrating on him, but it wouldn't have lasted long with Aaron, you kept slipping into my thoughts… he was getting tired of me calling out your name."

2D grinned sticking his tongue out. "You didn't!!!"

Noodle sighed and nodded, "I did."

2D rubbed her face with his hand, "Awww, my li'l luv! Yew luv me!"

Noodle chuckled, "I have been saying that this whole conversation… But I am not going to be in shape to do anything for awhile, with my ribs… I can't breath..."

2D grinned at her, "I get ta take care of yew for once! We have ta sit around and watch lots of movies, I've gotta give yew lots of luv, care and food!" He smiled at her smittenly and suddenly remembered the food. “Do yew want some cold soup?”

Noodle nodded, "Hai. I hate being an invalid, but if I get you to look after me I guess it can be okay" Then she looked over at her bedside table with some worry as 2D put the tray of food on her lap. 

"Aww Noods I'll take good care of yew, like yew did for me!" He noticed her gaze. “Oh, I see ‘em. Dilaudids. Don’t yew go getting addicted to ‘em, okay my li'l luv?”

Noodle bit her lip, “I was considering it but now that you're here, I don’t think I will…”

“Don’t joke about that luv.” 2D said sitting back down on the bed. 

Noodle nodded to herself and looked at the tray. She hadn’t been joking. She started to eat her soup, it was still somewhat warm and she was hungry, “These are pretty flowers Toochi.”

“Pretty fings go with pretty fings.” 2D said gently booping her on the nose. “Do yew want ta watch a movie?” 

“Of course!” 2D put on  _ Warm Bodies _ , as Noodle finished her soup. He took her tray off of her and started to lay down on top of the blanket, next to Noodle. “No Toochi, you always get cold, get under the blanket with me.” 2D chuckled, knocked off his shoes and got under the blanket and next to Noodle’s warm little body. “Ack, your feet are cold.” Noodle complained as they played footsie for a bit then settled into a good cuddle with Noodle resting her head on 2D’s chest while his arm was around her. 

2D opened up the box of chocolates and put one in Noodle’s mouth. She smiled at him, “Daw, your sweet Toochi!” She grabbed a chocolate and fed it to him. 

“Luv, I bought these for yew!”

“And I would enjoy them so much more if you share them with me.” Noodle smiled and nuzzled into her Toochi. She was happy they were together again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the end of everything I had prewritten. I have ideas for future things and such but I have a bunch of work and I don't know if I'll get a chance to put together more so this is the end for now.
> 
> I adore 2D and Noodle together and I hope I did justice to both of them. I think they are both sweethearts and I hope they continue to work it out.  
> Thanks for reading I really appreciate it and hope I gave you some warm fuzzies.


End file.
